From the previous chapter...

"Well, it seems to me that we don't really have a good excuse for you being here. You need some sort of alibi. We can set you up with a good story, but it'll hurt you."

"Hurt me?" Miranda looked a lot less confident now, Clark noted.

"I'll hit you." At Clark's instinctive protest, Martha held up her hand and quieted him as she continued talking to Miranda. "The story will be that you went outside, you fell down a hole or something, and Clark found you and took you to Metropolis for medical treatment. You got bandaged up in Metropolis, and then Clark will take you back home."

Miranda was silent.

"Well?" Martha asked. "Aren't you brave enough to stand up to a little pain to keep your word?" She looked over at Clark. He tightened his lips and looked away. Clark refused to look at Miranda too. He knew, even though Miranda didn't, that the choice was between voluntary and involuntary silence. He would prefer the former. Even though the stakes were his life, and the lives of Perry and Martha, he felt ashamed that he had tacitly agreed to use the Kryptonian crystal on Miranda if she didn't agree.

Was this what it was going to be like? Compromising, eroding his conscience bit by bit? Agreeing to one thing slightly over the line now, and another thing further over the line tomorrow? Martha was supposed to keep him on the straight and narrow, but right now she seemed to be leading him astray.

Miranda clenched her fists. "Yes." She said it in a very tiny voice, but steadily.

"I can't believe you actually hit her right then," Clark said as we lifted off from Gloria's place. I wondered if he thought less of me for doing so. I hadn't liked doing it either, but it was better than a mindwipe.

"Well, no sense giving her time to think about it," I replied, adjusting myself in his grip. "Besides, she'll stay quiet now."

"Why?"

"When you pay for something, you take better care of it."

Clark mused on that. Then he said, "Where did you learn to hit like that?

"From Lois. She taught me. I sparred with her for months after Zod… afterwards. I kept it up with other people at Metropolis base. And I hear I'm not the only one."

Clark shrugged. "It's no secret. I've been visiting Lois and Oliver. They strap on a little kryptonite and tutor me in self-defense."

"Without the powers?"

"Yes. Living in this world has taught me I can't always depend on, you know, the alien abilities." He added ruefully, "Of course, if my opponent brings enough kryptonite, I'm toast." Left unsaid was what we both knew – if Lex wanted to bring down Clark, he would certainly bring enough kryptonite.

"Miranda's family was happy to see her." I changed the subject.

Clark sighed. I belatedly remembered that Clark had had a family in the other world. Almost every day, he'd been greeted with hugs. There, not here. Not on this world.

"It was a good thing you did the talking," Clark said. "Me spiraling down from the skies holding their beaten-up daughter wasn't exactly what a worried father wanted to see. Fortunately, you explained it all."

"It wasn't just me. Miranda spun a good line, too." I wondered if Clark could hear the admiration in my voice. "That kid has a future. She's a natural-born liar."

Clark laughed.

"And you, Clark, are not. So don't even try to lie. You're terrible at it."

"I was going to say, she could be a lawyer," Clark riposted.

We shared a laugh.

"How about checking on Bernie?" Clark asked.

"Probably a good idea."

Clark changed direction and we headed north. I saw the glimmer of the crystalline girders from miles away. Clark flew us over the top of the Fortress and then dropped straight down, just fast enough to mimic a stomach-dropping elevator ride. I wobbled when he set me down.

Bernie was there, sitting dejectedly at the table.

"What's the matter, Bernie?" Clark asked, before I could.

Dr. Klein looked up, tiredness in his features. "I've been talking with Jor-El – working out experimental lines – trying everything. I still don't have it."

That was a blow to our hopes. Clark looked as disappointed as I felt, but he kept it out of his voice. "What have you tried so far?"

"Well…" and Bernie began discussing his theories. It was Greek to me. It seemed to make sense to Clark, though, because he interjected comments and questions at appropriate intervals. "Have you tried alterations in the delta vee?"

"That was on the first page," Klein sniffed. "Along with several variations on the theme."

"Oh." I could see Clark casting about. "What about the Yarkovsky Effect? Have you figured that in?"

Bernie looked interested. "Hmm… do we really need to figure that in when we're only focusing on Earth and its alternates? I mean, we're not talking asteroids here." He wrinkled his brow. "Still, a good point there, Clark." He picked up a stylus and began making tentative motions on a high-tech Kryptonian scratch pad. "Hmmm… very good point… have to roust out Jor-El on this one… hmmm…."

I recognized the signs of Klein beginning a train of thought. Time to cut our visit short. "Well, goodbye, Bernie," I said, touching his shoulder.

"What? Oh, goodbye, Martha," Klein said absently.

"Goodbye, Bernie," Clark said. "Martha and I appreciate your efforts. We're all in this together." He also touched Bernie's shoulder in lieu of shaking his hand.

"Together…" Bernie mumbled. "Together…" From the way his eyes lit, Bernie had found a fruitful new path of inquiry.

We crept out. Actually, we levitated out. As we silently left the Fortress, I saw Bernie still scribbling with his stylus, lost in thought.

"Darn!" Clark said.

"What?"

"I forgot to tell Bernie that he should make some appearances back at Gloria's. They think I've kidnapped him."

"I told everyone there that the patient he was taking care of developed complications."

"Did they believe you?"

"Nobody called me on it. Of course, you were there."

"So they weren't too happy about their missing mad scientist, but they didn't want to confront me?"

I shrugged. "I think it would be a nice gesture if you brought Gloria and everyone there a pallet of canned goods. Sort of a "rent for Dr. Klein" goodwill gesture."

"How long do you think he's going to take?"

"To solve our problem? I don't know, Clark. Bernie's a genius. You can't bottle that." I smiled. "I do think he will solve it, though."

Clark smiled back. "I do too."

It was only two days later that I got a call. It was an unusual call. It was a telepathic message from Jor-El. My presence, along with that of Clark, was requested at the Fortress.

Fortunately, it was evening. The day's work was done, the evening meal eaten. Even more fortunately, I'd been in Metropolis, not underground at the base. Less fortunately, I had planned on spending the night with Perry, and the call might put the kibosh on that.

"Darn."

"What?" Perry asked. He'd already had a gleam in his eye.

"I have to go to the Fortress." I wearily put back on my clothing, looked for my parka.

"Why?" Perry was disappointed too. His question was interrupted by a polite knocking at the door. He opened it, and Clark greeted us.

"I know," I said before Clark could. "We have to go to the Fortress. Do you know why?"

"I think Bernie's had a breakthrough," Clark said, with suppressed excitement.

"Really?"

"Yes. Perry, do you want to come too?"

Perry caught my glance. "Certainly." He threw on some warmer clothes.

We crowded into the executive washroom and I activated the portal. It took us all in one trip.

Jor-El's avatar waited patiently for us. Bernie Klein almost danced with excitement. "I think I have it," Bernie said. "Clark, when you said 'together' it made me think. That's it."

"What's it?" I asked.

"It's going to take all of us to fulfill your plans," Bernie said. And he was off again, chattering loudly, explaining his theory as best he could to us. He tried to tone down the technicalities but I got lost anyway. Fortunately, he didn't mind repeating. After some fifteen or twenty minutes of explanations, I thought I had it.

"So… obviously we need Jor-El and the Fortress to, uh… "

"To make a gate between the universes. That's something only the Kryptonian technology here can do." Bernie looked sad for a moment. "In fact, I'm still not sure how that technology works. I've kind of been black-boxing it." He caught sight of my worried expression and hastened to add, "But it works. No denying that."

"And you need Clark because… "

"Jor-El may be able to open a gate, but to which universe? Clark wants to end up back in his own world. He'll direct which gates open."

"Why do you need me, then?"

"Ah," Bernie said. "You wanted to replace parts of this world with the analogous parts of alternate worlds."

"Well, yes. But we were only going to take a little bit from each world."

"Do you want to keep anything from this world?"

"Certainly. I wouldn't want to lose the Daily Planet building, for example," I said, squeezing Perry's hand.

"That's one reason why we need you, Martha. Or somebody from this Earth."

I must have shown my incomprehension because Bernie visibly changed what he was going to say. "Think of it this way. Jor-El is all alien. Clark is part alien and part human – I know, not by blood, but by upbringing. So he can stand in between. You're all Earthian – "

"Earthian?" Perry muttered.

"Terran, then. You know what I mean," Bernie said impatiently. "Martha is attuned to this world, here. She'll naturally feel how things should be. She can filter things, keep things here, allow things to move to the other world, and know what we want to replace when we start working. Clark can't do that. He's tuned to his original universe. He doesn't fit in here. He can show the path but he can't belong."

I met Clark's eyes. His thought matched mine – I knew it with the link we'd developed while fighting Brainiac. "A metaphor for my life," Clark said quietly.

"When I say you don't fit in here, Clark, I wasn't referring to your Kryptonian ancestry," Bernie said with unusual (for him) delicacy. "I meant that this isn't your universe. You're from what we would consider an alternate universe."

"And I would consider this an alternate universe."

"Exactly." Bernie seemed pleased. "So I figured we could have a test run. Try things out, see how it goes. Then Jor-El and I can go over the data and see if we need to tweak anything… I'm still not quite sure about those last equations…" He began furiously writing on the scratch pad again.

Perry and Clark and I looked at each other. I shrugged.

"From what I see of his equations and theories, it's plausible," Clark offered. "So, Martha, are you up for a trial run?"

I nodded, my throat dry. "So, how do we do this?"

Jor-El's avatar spoke for the first time, startling me. On the other hand, it was obvious that Bernie was off in another creative fugue, so he was the logical one to speak up. "It will be best if we assume a triangular configuration with the principals at least ten meters apart. When we are in position, I will initiate the trial."

"Do you want us to stand anywhere in particular?" Clark asked. By this time, Bernie had made a few last swipes with his stylus, and joined us.

"Perhaps you could stand there," Bernie said diffidently, pointing to a spot not far from the central control console. "Martha, over there… and Jor-El will manifest there." We obediently headed toward our corners of the Fortress.

"Do I have to be anywhere special?" Perry asked.

"No," Bernie answered.

"Then I'm standing next to Martha." He took my hand as we walked to the far corner. His warm grasp calmed me. That was Perry – the steady backup, the reliable ally. I reached the designated spot and pulled his head down for a kiss. He hugged me tightly, and then let me go. He stood beside me.

"OK, I'm ready," I called. "Clark? You set? Jor-El?"

The other two nodded. Clark took the initiative. "Jor-El. Let's start."

The avatar nodded. It had slowly taken on more human-like gestures over the time I'd known it – or known him. A curious itch developed in my head. I recognized it.

"The first step is formation of a telepathic link," Jor-El messaged to us. From the way Clark rubbed his head, I could tell that he felt it too. And suddenly, with an almost-audible click, the link was established.

Fortunately, Clark and I were not as intimately intertwined as we had been during our quest to remove Brainiac. No, I sensed him, I sensed him sensing me, and I got a vague impression of what he was feeling. I felt a sweeping ocean, wavelets of thought cresting and falling, but I couldn't hear Clark's specific thoughts.

At least, not until Clark projected his thoughts at me. "Martha?"

"It's me." I sensed Clark's grin.

"Are you linked with Jor-El?"

I hadn't wanted to probe in that direction, but at Clark's question, I did. Unlike the boundless ocean, the constant movement of blue that was Clark, Jor-El's psyche presented itself as hard and crystalline. And alien. Definitely alien. Tiny lights that I saw without eyes sparkled within the crystal, the patterns infinitely changing. I skated over the surface, Jor-El not projecting at me, obviously allowing me time. He waited for me to make the first probe.

"Jor-El?"

His response was immediate. "Martha Kent. Kal-El." I could almost see the channel connecting us. "The link is solid. I will begin."

"Wait a minute!" That was Clark. "What are we going to do?"

Oh, right. A little planning might have been nice.

"I will open a passage to another universe and substitute its terrain for the analogous location in this world."

"That's well and good, but what terrain?" I chimed in.

Confusion from Jor-El. The AI didn't do well with some types of independent thought, it seemed.

"Hawaii," Clark thought at me firmly.

"Why?"

"It's out of the way, it's a bunch of islands that can be treated separately, and… well, right now all that's there is a bunch of ferns. Everything else died, all the other plants and animals are gone.. I'd like to see Hawaii as it should be."

I shrugged. Clark sensed my agreement. "Hawaii, then, Jor-El," he telepathed to the AI.

"Very well." Jor-El gathered himself – strange how I could feel that – and then I felt his thoughts coalescing into a spear point of total will. Then the AI took that point and… and… did something. I tried to see it, to understand it. It niggled at the edges of my comprehension. But it was out of my grasp.

"Kal-El." The AI radiated a sense of passing control to another. I felt Clark step up. His thoughts were intent and I sensed them as well. He was searching… seeking… the ocean waves were smaller and more frequent as his thoughts ranged over options with inhuman swiftness. Right now, Clark felt very alien, very much like Jor-El.

I sensed the feeling of "found it!" that ended Clark's search. Clark guided us toward what I assumed was a suitable alternate world. I felt the spear point pierce a shadowy veil, and heard Clark's soft sigh of accomplishment both with my ears and my mind.

Then agony sliced through Clark. I got only the backwash through our link, but it was enough to leave me pale and trembling.

"What?" I called out.

"What was that?" Clark sent through our link at the same time. I looked over – he looked pale and shaky.

Jor-El answered, his explanation larded with Kryptonian terms not translatable to English. I had had the Kryptonian download and my mind groped for analogies. "Kal-El, when you choose a specific world, the 'music of the universe' must pass through you. You are most 'in tune' with worlds that are most like the universe of your origin. As you have chosen universes lacking human habitation, these worlds are a far 'distance' from you. Therefore, their 'native energy' will be perceived by your body as a painful stimulus. Should you choose worlds closer to the world of your origin, the 'native energy' will be less painful, and of course when you return to your own world, there will be no pain."

"So, you mean that every time I, uh, find another world, I'll get…" Clark said out loud. I mentally echoed his sentence. You'll be impaled? Tortured? Facing a bolt of agony? Clark finished by saying wanly, "That really hurt."

Jor-El actually sounded sympathetic. "Some pain is unavoidable, my son. Nothing worthwhile comes easily. After our trial, you and I must discuss our data with Dr. Klein." He actually sounded like he had some respect for Bernie. That, more than anything, let me know how smart Bernie actually was. "Perhaps adjustments can be made."

"I hope so," Clark grumbled. It was strange how I could hear him with both my ears and my mind. I could sense his reluctance to face that searing energy bolt again – and also his determination to do what he had to do, despite the pain.

"Shall we proceed?" Jor-El asked delicately. "Kal-El, you have not lost control?"

"No," Clark replied shortly. We still had a door to whatever alternate world he'd picked.

Nothing happened. Jor-El finally broke the silence. "Kal-El, you must define the parameters."

"What?"

"This Fortress can transfer almost any area or volume you desire. It requires direction."

Clark looked at me physically, and also turned his thoughts to me. "Martha?"

I gulped. I had no clue. But… "Let's start with the Big Island." I'd never been to Hawaii, knew nothing about it other than what I saw on TV or heard from colleagues who'd vacationed there. I was going in blind.

"Very well," Jor-El said. "Martha, be ready. You must retain whatever you wish to preserve of this world."

"Very well," I repeated. I had no idea of what was about to happen, except that my being human was somehow necessary.

I got the impression that Jor-El, if he were alive, would be taking a deep breath. "Let us begin."

The telepathic link grew tighter, and I felt Jor-El cast a… confining field… around the Big Island. I felt the Fortress sucking energy from the other world's sun, felt the dissociation of our Big Island and the other Big Island from their underlying… worlds? structures? matrices? If, indeed, there was a 'music of the spheres', Jor-El was doing a brute-force re-tuning of both pieces of real estate.

Our Hawaii, covered with abandoned homes and hotels, began dissolving, parts of it fading away, replaced instantaneously by the other Big Island interpolating itself into the gradually growing interstices made as Jor-El wrenched its music into the melody of our world.

What was I supposed to be doing?

"Attend, Martha Kent," Jor-El said sternly. The telepathic link grew even tighter – but Clark was excluded, I thought. This was between Jor-El and me. The link grew closer – and suddenly I fell into the Lake of Keeping and Letting Go.

That's what I called it later on, when I tried to describe it to Clark. My words lacked the capability to explain it. I could not tell him what it was like. It was… it was hearing the music of our world… seeing the other world and this world simultaneously and yet logically… feeling the changes wrought… knowing the piece of land that Jor-El was exchanging, and knowing every bit of that land. Every inch, every acre – every bit of human-made stuff, and everything touched or altered by humans. I marveled that I could do this, and understood my mind, under Jor-El's tutelage, had expanded – I could comprehend this, if only for a moment.

Then the totality of the vision slipped away, and I found that I had to focus on specific things. Did I want to keep this road, this bridge, this house? Did I want to keep a harbor, a breakwater? What about the library, the house full of books, the shop with tacky souvenirs? I knew now why I had to be human. Whatever I wanted to keep, I "tagged", held it back against the tidal wave of substitution that Jor-El had caused to sweep over the Big Island. My "tags" anchored what I kept, sang the same music of the world I was in, the music that I now heard around myself. It was the essential vibration of us all.

Thinking of that, I cast a probe towards Clark, seeking his essential music. I felt what Jor-El had said – Clark had a different song. It wasn't because he was alien – Jor-El was certainly alien, but because the Fortress had grown on my Earth, Jor-El's song shared a little melody with mine. But Clark – Clark sounded different. He was from a different Krypton, a different Earth, a different universe. Despite his differences, his song had a smooth integrity and odd beauty to it. I wondered momentarily what Zod's song would have been like. Dissonant and ugly, I suspected.

Jor-El continued to work. Lush forests, rife with vertebrate and invertebrate life, replaced the denuded soil of our Hawaii. I perceived that the Hawaii from our target Earth still had the beautiful o'o bird, flocks of nene geese and the 'io hawk patrolling the skies above lush ohia lehua trees, koa trees and uluhe ferns. The Loihi seamount was only a few feet under the waves on this Earth and soon would blossom forth as a baby island. The Kona grosbeak still roamed the hills of the volcanoes. Was this perception what it felt like to be a god? I quailed at the thought and actively drove it from my mind. Mankind had decimated the Hawaiian wildlife on our Earth. Were we really any better than the Kryptonians, after all?

Finally, I let go of almost everything man-made. I think I kept a highway, and some bridges. We need to have a plan on that, I thought. What did we want to keep? What could be swept off into the other universe?

I felt Jor-El coming to a conclusion. The other Big Island had slowly melted into our world and was fixed there. Our Hawaii had had its music changed, its substance thrust into the other universe. We had the island filled with pre-human-contact jungle. The other world had our fern-covered, almost lifeless lump of volcanic rock, littered with the abandoned litter of a fallen technological civilization.

The telepathic link loosened. I felt Clark at the edges again. "Martha Kent." Did Jor-El sound a little weary? "You see, now, what it is you are to do?"

"I do," I replied honestly.

"Shall we go on?" Clark asked. "Oahu next?"

"OK with me." I shrugged. Then a wave of dizziness washed through me and I almost fell down.

"Martha!" Clark sped over to me and caught me before I fell. He had a habit of doing things like that. "What's the matter?"

Perry stepped up too, taking me from Clark. Weakness made me tremble. "What is it?" Perry asked.

"I don't know… I'm so tired…"

Jor-El spoke out loud. "The exigencies of her position require much strength from Martha Kent."

Well, that didn't bode well for our quest. It seemed I was the weakest link – literally. If I had to rest every time we did this… An idea came to mind. "Can Perry help?"

Perry looked surprised. "I thought this was only for – "

"For controllers of the Fortress? I don't know." Maybe that was the case, but in my filtering, it seemed as if any human native to this universe could do the job. Maybe Perry and I could split it up? "Jor-El?"

The AI considered this a moment. "An excellent suggestion. Perry White has already received the Kryptonian download. Yes, Martha Kent, Perry White may share the burden."

Jor-El didn't deny that it was a burden. Restoring the world wasn't an easy task. I belatedly realized that I hadn't asked Perry. Would he want to be involved in this crazy quest? I turned to my companion. "Perry?"

Perry took a long look around the Fortress, at Bernie Klein (who'd slipped into an exhausted nap), at the alien control console, at Clark, and finally at the viewscreen which showed the new Hawaii. A smile gradually teased itself across his lips. "Of course, Martha. You realize this means I get the exclusive?"

I reached up and guided his lips to mine, kissing him in sheer delight. I loved Perry. "It does mean a telepathic link," I warned.

Perry swallowed and looked at Clark, obviously having qualms. Clark looked back at him evenly.

"Well, you've come through it before…" Perry said dubiously. "What do I have to do?"

It turned out that Perry had to undergo another session in the light rays, for Jor-El to do something to him that would allow Perry to join the telepathic link. It took only a few minutes,

The link itself was very interesting this time. When Jor-El initiated it, once again I felt the AI's crystalline intelligence, and Clark's churning mind, deep as the ocean. This time, though, I felt Perry next to me, rocklike, steady and strong and reliable. And human. Despite the unfamiliarity of the link, Perry's mind had a comforting smoothness that I realized was due to our common human ancestry, not just because he was Perry. The contrast between Perry and the alien intelligences of Kal-El and Jor-El was immediately apparent.

No matter our background, we shared a mission. Jor-El opened the path between the worlds, and Clark guided us to a particular one. Clark fixed us in the alternate world, taking the pain as he did so. In addition to myself, Perry felt the echo of Clark's pain, and he whistled silently at Clark's fortitude.

Jor-El cast his field, this time around Oahu, and when it came to the "filtering" part, Perry was right there next to me. We communicated silently, mind to mind, discussing what to save, what to let go.

And when our task was done, we both sagged in exhaustion. Saving parts of our world – and just a little bit of it – had taken all our energy. Adding Perry to the mix had helped only a little bit.

"This isn't working," I said, barely able to keep my eyes open.

"Agreed," Perry said, haggard. "We need rest." He looked at me and recognized the truth – both of us needed a full night's sleep before we could do any more. "At this rate, it'll take months."

"I don't think we have months," Clark said worriedly. He'd come up and put an arm around each of us, much like he did when he flew us somewhere. Only this time, he kept us from falling to the ground in sheer fatigue. "We need to get this done." He brought us to the table and chairs, where we sat down gratefully.

"I know you want to get home…" I said.

"It's not that," Clark said. "Well, not only that. Once we start doing this, eventually Lex will find out. You're at – we're all at risk if Lex can, um, interfere with us while the job is going on. I'd like to present him with a fait accompli and have it all done before he takes notice."

"And you'll be in another universe by then."

Clark grinned. "Exactly."

"A valid point." Perry smiled too, and managed to stand a little straighter. "Well, Clark, I think this task is made for Kryptonians. We humans can't stand up to the strain." Was there bitterness in his tone, or only rueful acknowledgement?

"We could get a bunch more people, and run it in shifts," I suggested.

Perry nixed that before Clark could. "Who would you trust? It's not practical."

"I have a suggestion," Jor-El broke in.

I looked at the avatar, surprised. It was rare for the AI to speak up of its own accord and not in response to a statement or question.

"What?" All three of us said it simultaneously. Perhaps the telepathic link hadn't dissipated.

"Should Martha Kent and Perry White consent, this Fortress can alter their physical bodies to allow for greater endurance."

"What?" we all said again.

Jor-El launched into a long explanation. The gist of it was that he had scanned not only Clark, but also Perry, me and Miranda. He'd developed a fine appreciation for the differences between Kryptonians and humans. The AI's proposal was to take some of the Kryptonian traits and give them to us. Not everything, because our bodies couldn't endure that. But we would have greater strength and endurance. We'd need to eat more to pay for these advantages, as the AI couldn't give us the ability to absorb solar energy. And X-ray vision, heat vision, and flying were right out, of course.

"What do you think?" Perry asked. His tone was neutral.

"I don't know… " I didn't want to talk about my fears in front of Clark, who sat there maintaining an assiduous silence. Will I still be human?

Perry, bless him, picked up on my reluctance even without the telepathic link. Or maybe we'd developed our own telepathy in the weeks we'd spent as lovers and friends. "Clark, Jor-El, I think Martha and I need to sleep on this." Very true – our eyelids were drooping.

Clark nodded. I wondered how much he suspected of my fears. We knew each other better than anyone else. There was a good chance he understood my qualms. He wanted to get home as soon as he could, and he needed our help, but he wouldn't force us to make a decision. That wasn't his way.

He kept a careful silence. I knew he wouldn't try influence me. He was very sensitive to the thought of forcing anyone to do anything. It came with the powers, and the terms he'd agreed to when the Metropolis Council bought his service in this world. And it was his nature – he would rather lead than drive. I knew Clark well enough for that.

He helped us stand, and got us over to the portal that led to the Daily Planet building. "I think I'll go over the data with Bernie and Jor-El, see if we can fine-tune this," Clark said.

Perry and I nodded. We triggered the portal and stepped out in the executive washroom of the penthouse suite. We supported each other as we fell into bed.