Images of scarlet swirled about him. The metallic scent of blood filling his nostrils, drawing him back to the murders he'd been apart of. To bodies in broken form, stolen dreams, snatched lives. He cried out despite himself, the flesh of his new arm burning. He dug his fingernails into his palms. The pain of everything else masking the pain he was doing to himself.

"I can't be here." His voice forced when he felt he had recovered enough to speak. He looked at her finally, his eyes swimming with pain, ablaze with things she couldn't see. The dungeon walls closed in on him, drawing the oxygen from the room. He found himself unable to breath, memories coating his lungs. His eyes sought for the door, desperate to be free. Everything blurred together, the shadows obscuring any escape.

His sight was blocked suddenly by red, this time of hair. Severus inhaled the floral scent that clung to her. The clamp around his heart easing the tiniest bit. He heard his name whispered through the fog that clouded his mind. She gripped his face, a hand on either cheek. His sense were overwhelmed by her, the sight of her before him, the smell of her skin, the touch of his skin on hers. It served as a distraction.

"Sev, what image do you conjure for your patronus?" The sound of her panicked voice that she tried to hide made it's way to him.

He focused on her, the pain in his palms growing clearer as the memories of what he'd done dimmed. "Third year." He began, his speech tight as though his throat was constricted. "You took me to that bloody awful tea shop in Hogsmeade." The image of pink, of frills gradually took over the blood, covered the bodies. The cream painted walls eclipsed the black of Azkaban's stone. "The tea was surprisingly good."

"Tea?" Her voice had a slight lilt to it now, a lift of laughter hidden behind her words. "You think of tea?"

"No." He shook his head, swallowing past the bile that had formed in his throat. "It was the first time I thought, that maybe…"

She nodded as quiet overcame him. His breathing had returned to normal, the burn in his arm little more than a tingle as he flexed it away. "Where are the boys?" He asked her, when he felt he had returned to normal. He glanced around them, afraid that they had witnessed the crashing of his barriers, the flooding of his trauma.

"They're exploring." She tipped her head in the direction of the door as if he didn't understand just where they were. "And I think it would be wise if we left the dungeons."

He looked around him again, at the walls, the ceiling that was much too similar to the ones that had held him captive. A thought he'd been able to bury until today. He accepted her help as she pulled him from the chair, he let her lead him like a child from the room and down the corridor that was no different than their quarters only after the notes of earlier had been hidden and magically sealed inside a drawer.

As they turned a corner, approaching the stairs that led to the rest of the world, the light of torches was replaced by sunlight. He drowned in the fresh warmth as it touched his skin, rays filtering through the high windows of the castle. Severus felt his chest release fully, this place being different enough. Although it was tainted with memories of other things, here, he could survive.

Lily must have noticed the change in him as her grip on his arm loosened, but still, she guided him and he let her. They gradually made their way higher, climbing the stairs as the portraits around them watched. "I would do it differently." He interrupted the silence that had cascaded around them. "If I could go back. I was a dunderhead."

"You were." She agreed, her head not turning to meet him. "But, you aren't the same person you were before, even if there are things I could never forgive."

The statement was fair. He hadn't expected her to, and the topic had never been broached since he had first told her. "Now, I'm at an advantage." He began as they reached the top of their final staircase. They passed outside the door they had snuck through so many times before, and she watched him with curiosity. "I can fight on the side of the war I want to."

"Not yet." She countered, and they both knew why, but still she smiled. Lily withdrew her wand then, aiming the tip at the lock and whispering an unlocking charm. A click sounded and she pushed it inward, revealing another small set of stairs that they took.

The two of them stood atop the astronomy tower, the summer air whipping around them. She separated herself from him finally, leaning on a wall that overlooked the Forbidden Forest. With her chin in her palm, her elbow on the edge of the wall, he recognized the contemplative look that crossed her face. Severus stood beside her, his own arms leaning on the stone, his fingers clasped together.

He watched her, waiting for her to be ready to speak the words that had crossed her mind. Waiting for her to work through whatever thought she was stuck in. He had learned long ago not to interrupt this process, not if he wanted an answer.

"Do you think it'll ever end?" She asked after minutes had passed. "He's always been untouchable."

Severus nodded, knowing the 'he' that she referred to, and she was right. The Dark Lord rarely participated in fights, always choosing to risk the lives of his fighters instead. Even if he chose to show himself, Severus doubted it would be as simple as casting an avada kedavra to kill him. He didn't know the answer, didn't know if the Dark Lord would be defeated in their life time, and he couldn't bring himself to tell her so. "I believe so." He lied, he'd never been able to tell her the truth when it involved her life. "Dumbledore knows what he's doing."

Lily rolled so that now her back was pressed against the beige stone instead. She glared at him, not quite believing his words, but she let it drop. They were both aware of the war that raged around them, and how impossible it seemed to end. "You're a student." She began, changing the subject. "I've just caught you up here, would I take points away?"

He frowned, considering her question. All the while, he was glad this was no longer his problem. "Ms. Evans." He started, adopting his nearly forgotten Professor voice that was meant to intimidate. "You and Master Snape are unwelcome here. Ten points from Gryffindor and Slytherin each."

"No detention?" She laughed, her fingers grazing his sleeve. "You were always eager to hand those out."

"They were always deserved." He countered, wondering now how true that was. His eyes left her face, falling to the ground below them. They scanned the edges of the forest, another place they'd escaped to from time to time when a black shape emerged.

"What about the head of house?" Am I–"

"Lily." His voice was firm, and not altogether pleased as he interrupted her. From the corner of his eye, he saw her turn towards him, watched as her line of sight followed his outstretched finger.

"Is that…?"

They looked at one another, both knowing the answer. They had waited for this moment. "Sirius." They said together. As soon as the words escaped her lips, she turned away from him, running towards the steps that had brought them here. He followed after, not sharing the bounce she had held in her step.

For so long she believed this man to be the reason behind her destroyed family, behind the death of James. And now, although she knew differently, her excitement surprised Severus. It was, he surmised, a relationship he didn't understand.

As he followed Lily back down the way they had come, he couldn't help the depression that settled over him. After revisiting the events of earlier, he wasn't fond of the reminder of his time in Azkaban that had just happened upon his new prison. He certainly wasn't fond of the idea it came in the shape of Sirius Black.

They reached the door that was meant to keep them safe, the one that was currently leading one escaped prisoner to another.

Lily was several paces ahead of him still, her feet stepping quickly across the green grass. Even in dog form, it was easy to tell that Sirius was tired. His body sagged, his paws taking slow steps, his tongue lolling from his mouth. Severus remembered that exhaustion, the both of them having wasted away inside the prison walls. He had recovered some in the weeks that passed, but was still as skeletal as before. Sirius, however, was haggard.

Xxxx

Lily paused just before she reached him, her steps finally coming to an end. The colors of black fur and pale skin merged as Sirius transformed, the blur growing taller until it was no longer a dog that stood in front of her. The excitement she'd felt at seeing him from the tower froze inside her. She found herself unable to move, taken aback by his appearance.

The Sirius she had known was gone. He'd had a bight defiance about him that had now been snuffed out. Twelve years of difference had brought her a man she didn't even recognize.

His hair was longer than she'd ever seen it, and he had a beard. He was no longer a young, 21 year old, but rather a man that had seen the horrors of war. She looked at the clothing that hung off on him, the beige stripes that she suspected had once been white. He smelled of filth, the root of which she didn't want to question for too long, afraid of the answer. He wasn't much different than when she'd seen Severus, but the change was enough.

"Why are you here?" She found herself asking. There wasn't a 'hello', not even an unnecessary 'how are you'. She was too surprised to not only see him, but to see him at Hogwarts. Class wasn't in session, and he had no reason to suspected she'd be here.

"Lily." He said her name as though he hadn't in years, as though his mouth had forgotten how to form the letters of it. She didn't recoil, didn't attack him, didn't do any of the things he likely expected she would.

His eyes, once silver, now reminded her of silverware that needed polishing. They'd been dulled by circumstance, changed by despair. Sirius looked over her shoulder, glancing at Severus who stood behind her, and she felt fear for the first time. She half expected the light of spells to dance around her, for insults to hang in the air between them. Instead, Sirius said only three words. "You told her?"

"Whatever you may think of me, I am not a liar." Severus' deep voice spoke behind her, the venom he felt towards the other man hardly concealed. She knew it was true, that the few times he had been untruthful had been out of protection, not menace.

Before she or Severus could protest the matter, Sirius' arms were around her, her feet lifted from the ground as he held her tightly. She wrinkled her nose at the stench of him, but returned the gesture all the same. "I'm here because I sought Severus." He said once she had been returned to the ground, his eyes drifting over her shoulder again. "I was afraid that only he was aware of my innocence, that you wouldn't accept me."

"Dumbledore knows as well, and Remus." She glanced at Severus, her lip held beneath her teeth. "We can free you, we can–" Her hurried words stopped the moment she saw the look that passed between the two men, one of something prison had brought them.

"Right now all I'd like is a bath and a hot meal." Sirius assured her. "But, first, Severus and I need to have a chat."