-1Note: This chapter is why this story is rated M. There is explicit material towards the middle and end of the chapter. Therefore, if you want to skip over those parts, or this chapter, I will not send the big dogs after you.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

"This is the very worst wickedness, that we refuse to acknowledge the passionate evil that is in us. This makes us secret and rotten."
-D.H. Lawrence

For a week now, Maxwell has been working me from the moment the bells ring in the morning, if not earlier, until supper every night. And this, mind you, is on a good day. Sometimes he works me until I already find Jack asleep in his bed, alone, his lips and mustache pulled down into a troubled frown. Honestly, I think there's more to it than just preparing for the future. Maxwell enjoys getting a rise out of me. And the part that bothers me most? I enjoy him getting a rise out of me too.

Last night I accidentally woke Jack as I crawled into bed beside him. He inhaled, loudly, his dark eyes cracking open to stare at me. "Andie," he said groggily with sleep, "Love, this needs to stop."

"I'm sorry I woke you," I replied, kissing the tip of his nose and curling in close so I could feel the beat of his heart. I felt guilty. Guilty I've been spending so much time with Maxwell, and guilty that I could not tell him how my new boss was effecting me this way. I hate Maxwell; his personality is too sarcastic, sometimes downright cruel, and his cockiness is more than annoying. I don't know what it is that keeps compelling me towards him.

Jack shook his head at me. "I don't care that ye woke me. Yer exhausted. Ye can't keep training like this."

And I am, too. Can barely move sometimes, to get to the captains quarters at night. Elizabeth had to help me the other night, her arm around my waist, but I made her swear not to tell Jack or even Will, her husband. My legs were just so sore; for a little while, I thought I even tore a muscle. I think Jack is even getting paranoid. About Maxwell, that is. I found him glaring in his direction one morning after Maxwell made a lewd comment at me and I cursed him for grabbing a hold of my backside during our sparring. "Just distracting my opponent," he had explained with that cocky grin.

"I'm not exhausted," I lied horribly. "I just haven't trained in such a long time. I'm-"

"Lying," he said flatly. "Ye have no excitement to yer voice any more, no skip to yer step. I can't even kiss you, can't even-"

I try and move away as his hand slides between my thighs, the muscles there sore and bruised. I didn't want him to know, but he heard me hiss as I jumped back. Without a word, he threw the covers back, his eyes not missing a thing, not even in the dark. The moonlight provided enough light for him to see everything he needed to. My thighs were covered in black and blue marks, from where I've tripped and fallen over tables, crates and other things on the ship while sword fighting or doing other exercises with Maxwell. It's "in order to prepare," he explained. "Tara senses something important is coming."

"Jack," I said, touching his jaw. It hardened under my fingertips with anger, his eyes loosing their amber warmth. "I haven't been careful enough."

"It's too much," Jack growled, trying to get up from the bed. "I'm goin' to put an end to this right now."

He didn't, though. I called his name, and even though he tried to ignore me, I grabbed him anyway, placing my lips over his, whispering everything was okay. I even tried to play the guilt game, telling him he knew it had to be this way, I couldn't run away anymore, as he said. I think he felt bad, then, because those words came from his own mouth, and allowed me to kiss him, and even kissed me back. Something is coming, and all though I don't know what, I can feel it, physically. And I want to be ready. I need to be ready.

Jack and I made love for the first time in a while between those sheets, his hands on my hips and my throat pale and exposed like an eloquent swan. I was so tired, I could barely move, but he was moaning and sighing and grabbing, and the sound was so great in my ears that I found myself unable to stop. It felt amazing, it did, as I hovered above him and his rough palms were running over the globes of my breasts and the velvet folds between my legs. It did not take long to get Jack over the edge, but he was being difficult. He was holding himself back for me, and so my plans to please him and sleep, did not fall through. I was so tired and not concentrated enough, therefore it took another ten or twenty minutes for me to even reach the point he was trying to keep himself from. My hips moved faster, his teeth dug into my neck…

And I cried. I cried. It took this for me even to feel the way he did last night, to even reach my peak and for my body to snap and release. At first, he did not seem worried. He actually seemed proud, thinking that he had me working until that point, that point where I'm always afraid it's too much and I beg him to stop. He's only stopped once, I remember, but it wasn't for long before he picked up his kissing and swift pace again. Jack isn't one to leave a woman unhappy when it comes to sex. Not in my experience, anyhow.

But this time was different, and after a minute or so passed, the captain of the great Black Pearl knew this. "Andie?" he asked, rubbing his palm over the smooth, tattooed skin of my back. I had turned on my side, away from him, afraid for him to see my face. I couldn't stop crying once I started. "Tell me what's wrong, love. Did I hurt ye?"

I couldn't respond. I don't know what was wrong. I think I felt guilty, and ashamed, and confused. And now Tara thinks something is coming, and the Ahoros, and Loyal, and Anson… I'm not only physically drained, I'm mentally drained as well.

"I'm sorry," he whispered desperately in my ear, "I didn't mean to hurt ye. Don't cry, love." He should know better; I never cry when I'm hurt. Never. "I should have been gentler, yer so bruised."

He just laid there with me, whispering things in my ear, until I fell asleep. I never got to explain to him, but then again, I wouldn't have known what to say. This morning when I awoke to find him dressed and placing a tray of breakfast on the table beside his bed, he asked if I was all right.

"I'm sorry, Jack," I said. "I don't know what was wrong with me."

"I hurt ye," he said, his eyes shifting away from me, so sure of himself.

I caught his hand in mine, bringing it to my lips. "You didn't hurt me." His eyes met mine then. He was confused. I kissed him, and we left it at that. We haven't spoke of it since, and we're back to teasing each other and being normal. Jack had Rodney lock Maxwell in his room for a good three hours after he normally appeared on deck, so I even got to sleep in. Jaden says the captain spoils me, but I just think he's jealous.

And now I sit at the mammoth table in the galley, Maxwell and Tara standing before me. "I know what's going on here," Tara tells my new boss. "I can smell it on you. You're attracted to her."

"Excuse me?" Maxwell snorts. "That's complete-"

I laugh. "You're a horrible liar." I know Maxwell is attracted to me. It's enough by his roaming eyes, and occasionally while we're training, hands, let alone his provocative talk. That gives it away right there.

"And you," Tara turns towards me. "You're not any better, you know."

My brow creases. "What did I do?"

"First of all, you're not yourself.. The gypsies are worried about you."

I don't understand, all though, last night was a perfect example of how strange I am acting indeed. Anymore than that, though, I am at a loss. "Everyone is always worried about me for no good reason," I wave off.

Tara rolls her eyes. "No training for the day," she tells Maxwell. "She needs a day off. And so do you."

Maxwell tries to argue with her, but I think, deep down, he knows Tara is right, and so he doesn't fight much with her. His arguments are usually just for show, anyway.

Once Maxwell leaves, Tara takes a step towards me, and takes a seat at the table. "Give me your palms," she instructs gently.

I do as I'm told. "You're not a palm reader, are you?" I ask.

She smiles at me. "Bad experience?"

"A couple," I reply. "When I was a little girl, my brother and I were in town and he thought it would be fun to get our palms read. Our father would have been livid if he knew we stopped to do such a thing, but my brother never cared. He always took chances, that's what I've always admired about him."

Tara takes my small hand between the two of hers. "And the woman saw bad things?" she questions as she closes her eyes.

"Something like that," I say, watching her face, closely, hoping her peaceful expression does not go salty.

After a moment, she opens her eyes, peering down into my open palm. "I see a few things. First, you're still not at peace about leaving your family. Your mother is no longer with you, correct?"

I am so amazed at what she is doing, I just nod dumbly. "No, she passed when I was a little girl."

"Giving birth to what would have been a baby sister," Tara replies. She strokes the top of my hand as though I am a beloved pet. I only feel slightly uncomfortable, however, because I am too busy listening intently on what she is saying to really worry about personal physical boundaries being broken. "Stanley's death is what's really big on your mind. And Jack; you don't think he loves you like you love him."

I can just feel my hazel eyes about ready to pop out from my face. "How do you know all of this?"

She grins that girlish smile. "Practice."

"Right," I sigh.

"Jack has ways of showing what's going on through his head. That's the issue with other people understanding them; he doesn't share his emotions out loud like most of us do. It's something you and he have in common, am I right?"

I shrug. "I guess so."

"Why are you so afraid of your former fiancé, Andie?" she asks suddenly.

I nearly choke on the sip of water I had just taken from the glass sitting before me on the table top. "I'm not afraid of Anson," I deny.

"You are," she says, her eyes gazing at me intently. "Just no one knows why."

I take a breath. "I don't have a reason, really. He just makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Like he's capable of something horrid?"

"Yes," I say with a nod.

"I think you're right about him, Andie. I informed your brother he was following and had him stray Anson's ship away. There's a protection spell over the Black Pearl right now, but it will not last long. Hopefully he will be good and far away by then."

"Protection spell?" I reply. "Nevermind, I don't want to know. All of that stuff gives me the heebie jeebies." I rise from my chair and make my way towards the door.

"Don't be embarrassed about being attracted to Maxwell, Andie," Tara suddenly bursts out. "All of the ladies have a reason or another to chase after him."

I turn on my heel. "I'm not chasing after Maxwell," I snap at her.

She laughs. "You don't need to."

I can feel my temper rising, and knowing I am supposed to be gentle with her, I rush up the stairs and make it out into the sun on the deck of the ship. I can see Jack at the helm and instead of avoiding him as I might have in the past, I walk right over to him. "You asked Tara to do a protection spell?" I ask.

He raises an eyebrow. "What are ye talkin' about, love?"

"Tara said she put a protection spell over the ship."

But Jack shakes his head. "She told me there was no such thing."

Tara lied to me? But for what reason? Either she is up to something, perhaps with Maxwell, or she just told me this to make me feel better about the situation. I will be cautious, but considering I like to have just a little tiny bit of faith in people, I will go with the second option. Doesn't mean I can't spy on her, though. I enjoy it, anyway; it's a rush of adrenaline.

"Hey," Jack says suddenly, reaching out and touching my arm with warm, sun kissed fingers. "What's goin' through yer head?"

"Nothing," I tell him with a reassuring smile.

His brows narrow. "Hate it when ye lie to me."

I lean up on my toes and give his lips a little peck. "I'm not lying, I'm just trying to figure some things out."

"Ye know, darling," Jack says, "It would be nice if ye would join me for dinner in the captain's quarters tonight. Rum will certainly be involved."

I smile at him, all teeth and everything. "I would be delighted, sir."

He winks at me. "Good."

I'm laughing as I walk away from him, tracking in my head all of Jack's hiding spots for his finest rum. I could wait until tonight, but I'm craving for a bottle this very second. Let's see… In the cabinet in his quarters, but I didn't see any while getting out a clean pair of slacks this morning. There's the galley, but it's the same as the crew drinks and is not as effective or aged. And then, there's the cargo room, above the gun powder, hidden in a crate that's covered with a red sheet… Bingo.

Smiling in hello to the crew as I pass them, I begin down the stairs and into the crews quarters, where none of the crew is to be found. Perfect. I'll not be responsible if Jack's hiding place, which, if you think about it, isn't really that's great of a hiding place to begin with, gets out, I won't be responsible.

Below the crews quarters lies the cargo hold. It's dank and dark, but I know my way around here quite well. During the day, when Jack and I are feeling frisky, sometimes we come down here and do what needs to be done. Ha. Sometimes I crack myself up.

I step on a crate sitting by itself on the floor, lifting myself up on it so I can reach for the red sheet. I'm distracted, however, as the door, which I had just snapped shut, opens. It's dark, but I can see a dark figure enter the room.

"Hello?" I ask.

Nothing, for a moment. I'm starting to think I imagined it when the figure pops up right in front of me, causing me to jump and almost fall off the crate and break my ankle. "Jesus Christ," Maxwell hisses in that annoying yet romantic accent of his, catching me before I do any damage. "Don't be so jumpy. It's not good for a girl of your stature."

"Are you kidding?" I demand angrily as I punch his arm, and not gently. "Don't go sneaking up on people like that, especially on a girl of my stature. I could have killed you. Should have, anyway."

He grins at me, and my stomach sinks. "But you didn't."

I push away from him, uncomfortable. "Is there a reason you're down here, or is it just to annoy the shit out of me?"

"Something like that," he says, moving his arm out in front of me, blocking my escape.

"I'm not training with you today," I tell him, putting my foot down.

"You know why I think you enjoy training with me so much, Andie?" Maxwell asks me, in that low voice, leaning forward so he's whispering deeply in my ear. The deep rumble to his voice gives me chills. "The sweat and the work, the contact, it's just like you're…"

"All right," I cut him off before he can continue. I know what he's getting at, and the fact that he knows and, well, obviously feels the same way about our training sessions, scares me. "I get the point."

"Admit it," he says, pressing himself against me.

I exhale. "I'm involved with Jack, you know this."

He extends his other arm so he's on either side of me. His breath is hot on my neck and the feel of his shirt against my arm and collar is driving me mad. His body is so warm, so inviting. "Admit it," he repeats, pressing his lips against my ear.

I swallow because my throat is feeling extremely dry. "Training sessions?"

"Mmm hmm."

I can't believe I'm saying this, let alone admitting it to him. "Turns me on."

He laughs, a bitter roar that causes me to shiver right down to my toes. "God, I could tell. You're the kind of girl who gets all fired up by sword fighting, and dangerous situations, and…" he reaches for the hymn of my shirt, sliding his golden palm beneath it. "You're fired up right now, aren't you?"

I slap his hand away. "Get out of here."

"No," he says once more with that cocky smile. Gods, he's so infuriating!

He presses me back against the crates instead, pinning my hands back so they are behind me. I should be scared. I should yell for Jack, I should beat the living shit out of him. But instead, I can't move. I close my eyes and feel his breath against my neck. I tell myself to stop him as he slides his right hand below my belt. I even try to tell myself I'm not feeling warm and excited and exhilarated as I feel his fingers touch me inside.

I don't even notice, but as his hand begins to move, I'm panting. "Heavy breath," Maxwell whispers in my ear. "That's good."

I can't reply as he's kissing down my neck, I just feel and I try and remember to breathe and I bite my lip because I can't make any noise. Can't get caught, can't let anyone know. And then I begin to worry that someone saw him follow me down here, and what if they saw us right now? And that's when my hips start moving against his hand beneath their will, and I'm mewling gently, and I just can't control myself. I can't stop even though I know I should.

"You don't need to keep quiet," he tells me. "Please don't keep quiet."

I almost listen to him. Almost. I bite my lip so hard it stings as I feel that burning beginning in my stomach and spreading quickly between my legs. My legs spread wider apart, my hips move faster. "Almost there," he whispers in my ear, and that's when it's done. It's all over with a sigh, and I realize for the first time I'm sitting on one of those crates, Maxwell crouched down beside me, his hand still between my thighs.

He chuckles at my attempt to catch my breath. "Not even against your will," the bastard says with a grin. "Don't worry, it'll be our little secret."

I'm late to dinner with Jack.

"I'm sorry," I say as I bust through the door. "I had to borrow a dress from Elizabeth, and then she was wanting to do a bunch of girly things to make me look nice, and-"

He pulls me into his lap and kisses my mouth so I hush. "Yer fine."

I can't get my heart to stop beating so rapidly. I try to ignore his tender touches on my stomach and hips, glancing at the table before me. There's pork and fish and potatoes, and about every dish the cook down in the galley never makes for the crew. He must have been working on this all day.

"You really planned this out, didn't you?" I say to Jack.

He grins that sideward smirk. "I thought ye'd want something nice to keep yer mind off things."

Oh God, oh God. "That's so nice," I tell him honestly, kissing him quickly.

"Nice?" Jack says.

I smile, trying to ignore the guilt eating away at my insides. "Amazing."

He kisses me. "That's better."

I reach over and grab a glass of wine, raising the glass to my lips and downing it all in one go. You'd think he'd curse at me for such a thing, but then again, Jack's a pirate. "That's me girl," he states with a chuckle.

"I dressed up all nice for you, and you still look the same," I accuse with a laugh, all though I have to admit he did take the effort to put on his coat and button it up halfway. Some of the buttons aren't even in the right holes. I reach over and unbutton them all, just because they are getting on my nerves.

"Ye sayin' I don't look nice?" Jack grins.

I kiss his mouth. "You look dashing."

"Ravishing, even?"

"Yes," I smile. "Even ravishing."

He raises an eyebrow. "This dress is 'Lizabeth's?"

"Yes it is. And I promised her I would take care of it, so no ripping or getting it dirty, savvy? I think I'm actually making a friend, and I want to keep it that way," I tell him as he's kissing my neck, and I swallow nervously, trying not to think of what happened down in the cargo hold today.

I told Maxwell it's never happening again, and I mean that. I love Jack, and I don't want to ruin things with him. I have to admit, though, something inside of my feels relieved, like I've gotten revenge for Jack's fling with Kamella, and excited because I have this big secret. And I feel like shit for enjoying it.

Jack's lips feel so nice and warm and sensual against my jaw. I'm purring, moving closer to him in anticipation. "Ye don't want to be friends with 'Lizabeth," he tells me seriously. "She burns rum."

I laugh. "That was one time. And from what I hear, under desperate circumstances."

"She almost got me hanged!"

I cup his cheeks between my palms. "But she didn't. And you're here now, aren't you? With me, about to enjoy this fabulous meal?"

Suddenly, that boyish, wicked grin spreads across his face. "Good point, love. However, the food can wait. I'd rather skip right to dessert."

With that, Jack lifts me off his lap and carries me over to the bed, tossing me atop the mattress. I giggle as he climbs over me, untying and unbuttoning the borrowed dress. He curses because it's apparently quite difficult to get off, and makes a show of lying it gently across the chest at the foot of the bed. "Didn't even toss it on the floor like I always do yer other clothes," he says, so proud of himself.

"I'm impressed," I laugh.

"And yer about to be impressed further!"

"I am outside and I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes, I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this
Keep me safe inside, your arms like towers
Tower over me
Cause we are broken, what must we do to restore our innocence?
And all the promise we adored
Give us life again, cause we just want to be whole."
We Are Broken- Paramore

Okay, you're all going to hate me, I know. But Jack and Andie are both wild individuals, you know? They have a lot of growing and maturing to do. They really haven't changed much. Jack's always trying to make the wrong choice, and in the end, he always makes the right one. And Andie is always trying to make the right choice, but she's always making the wrong ones. They're opposites, but don't worry, cause opposites will always attract.

Reviews are lovely. Thanks: Sparrow'sVixen, Lexxxiii, VooDooJayneSmith, Iluvenis, Sands, Princess-Maiden, xxStrawberrie, Jackslover94.