CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
The fact that the majority of the confused faces in his suddenly crowded bedroom matched his own did nothing to ease Ben Cartwright's mind. If he was to take Paul Martin for his word, he was recovering surprisingly quickly and although his energy and strength were frustratingly slow to return, Ben knew he was well on his way to a complete recovery. What is everyone doing here? Is there something more that Paul hasn't yet told me?
"Mr. Cartwright, Hoss, Joe, Doctor Martin," Carrie started, "there's something I need to tell you. Something quite important."
Ben glanced at each of his two sons and received identical shrugs. Paul's expression was nothing if not confused.
To Carrie, Ben's over-sized bedroom had never before resembled a cell. Although there were two opened windows and a wide doorway left completely ajar she felt trapped, unable to fill her lungs with anything other than the self-imposed essence of guilt.
Ben watched carefully as Carrie captured one deep breath, held it inside for a moment, and then exhaled as she launched into the much-anticipated tale.
"Mr. Cartwright, Hoss, Joe . . . there's something about the night of the orphanage fire that Adam doesn't know."
No one in the room spoke. In fact, no one moved.
Carrie leaned against the wall near one of the opened windows, hoping that the fresh air billowing into the room might help her roiling stomach. Instead, she breathed in the scent of roses and the flutters inside her calmed immediately. "That night, when Adam managed, God knows how, to crawl out of the back of the burning building and into the woods, he didn't know . . . ," Carrie paused and looked at Alyssa, who nodded her support and reached for her best friend's hand, "he didn't know that Mercy and the children had made it out of the building - alive."
For Ben, the next few seconds blurred like an unending nightmare.
"What?" Hoss whispered, his face contorted with confusion.
"What?" Joe uttered, his voice duetting with Hoss's, his shocked face frozen in the moment. Slowly, he reached for the tall poster on the end of his father's bed then lowered himself gently onto the mattress.
Doctor Martin searched Alyssa's face for confirmation of Carrie's declaration before stepping closer to Ben's bedside. And Ben, his face wearing a mask of disbelief, painfully pushed himself higher atop his array of pillows.
"Ben," Paul admonished, "take it easy!" He offered Ben his arm and worked to situate his friend as comfortably as possible before turning his scowl in Carrie's direction. "I don't know what this is, Carrie, and I'm obviously not going to be able to stop whatever it is you've started," Paul scolded, "but I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand by and let this . . . this 'news' harm my patient! Now Ben, you stay put."
Ben ignored Paul's commands and directed his full attention on Carrie Baker. He gathered himself, and when he finally spoke, his words were even-tempered and calculating, and his voice betrayed his internal chaos.
"And how do you know this, Carrie?"
"I found out a few days ago when . . . ," Carrie exhaled, "when I met Mercy. Here. In Virginia City."
This time, there were no breathy whispers.
"She's here?" Hoss shrieked, his voice cracking.
"She's really alive? And you've known it for days?" Joe yelled as he strode across the room, his eyes blazing.
Already pressed against the window frame, Carrie had no place to go except inches away from Joe's angry face.
"Joseph!" Ben exclaimed, pain surging from his diaphragm into his chest. "Everyone, just calm down. Let Carrie finish!"
Joe rubbed the back of his neck and placed a world of distance between Carrie and himself.
"You met her?" Ben asked. "Here in Virginia City?"
Carrie nodded and Ben covered his wound as he tried to sit forward.
"Ben . . ." Paul said.
Carrie instinctively reached for Ben's arm, thought better of it, and took several steps away from the bed. "Let me start at the beginning," Carrie said, clearing her throat. "A few days ago, a young woman and two children arrived on the stage. They were directed to Aunt Mazie's . . . I mean Mrs. Brighton's boarding house. The children were there one afternoon when Alyssa and I went to visit Mrs. Brighton."
Ben, his mind and pulse racing, sifted through the details Adam had shared of his time at the orphanage.
"There were three children killed in that fire," Ben said. "Three children and one woman."
"That's right, Carrie," Hoss added.
Joe, his temper masking his true emotions, snapped at Carrie. "Their names were Danny, Mary, and AnnaLynn!"
Carrie stood firm. "I know, Joe. And that day, at Mrs. Brighton's, Alyssa and I met Danny and Mary."
Hoss's hands pressed against his thighs. He turned slowly toward Alyssa and she nodded timidly at his piercing, blue eyes.
Ben swallowed hard. Frustrated with the vulnerability that accompanies lying helpless in a bed, he straightened his back, pushing his hands against the mattress. He uttered no sound, but his face was painted with delicate shades pain. If this is true, my son has spent months needlessly mourning their loss. He lost weeks of his life under a veil of false beliefs. How could anyone stand by and let someone believe such a lie? Ben glared at Carrie, his eyes darkened beyond their usual color, shining black and cold as the night sky. "Go on," was all he said.
"Well, I met Miss Kinkead later, at the general store in town," Carrie said. "I swear, Mr. Cartwright, I didn't know who she was. Mrs. Brighton introduced her to me as 'Miss Kinkead'. I never knew the last name of the woman from the fire. I swear, I didn't know it was her!"
Ben's body ached. His mind sent out orders to his legs and feet, Pace! You'll feel more in control if you could just pace! He clenched his jaw. How could she come here, to Virginia City? To Adam's home town? And not come to Adam himself?
"I didn't know . . . until someone told me. Alyssa and me," Carrie said.
Joe raised himself slowly from the edge of his father's bed. "Who told you, Carrie?"
Carrie fought back tears. "It was Stu. Stu Weaver."
"Stu Weaver?" Hoss spat. "Stu Weaver is a born liar, Carrie. You know that!"
"He'll do anything to cause trouble for anyone," Joe added, his temper rising again. "He hates all of us, especially Adam."
Hoss shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked toward Carrie. "Carrie, he's lyin'. That's jist one of the rotten things he does. Ya see, Stu used ta try his darndest ta git me mad enough ta fight 'im. Lookin' back, I guess he didn't hafta try too hard . . ."
Ben thought of how Stu had managed to draw Hoss into situations - situations that demanded Adam step in to fight. He remembered numerous occasions when the front door would open at the end of the school day and Hoss, slumped in a twisted mixture of humiliation and gratefulness, would lumber into the great room. Adam always followed, the ritual hanging-of-his-hat and gun belt giving precious extra moments for composure. Each time Ben knew the gist of what had occurred simply from Hoss's posture. Each time he was both proud and frightened by his eldest son's bravery as well as his fierce pledge to protect his younger brother. The thought that the man who'd delivered so many insults to Hoss and uncountable blows to Adam's face and ribs could now be plotting to hurt his family once again left Ben smoldering inside.
"Carrie, Stu will say anything when he's drunk," Joe said, "which is most of the time, and if he thinks he can . . ."
"Joe!" Carrie interrupted. "Joe, it's her. There's no question. It is Mercy, and Danny, and Mary. And AnnaLynn just arrived two days ago. They're all alive and well and in Virginia City."
Alyssa summoned every ounce of strength in her and stepped out of the shadows of the room. "Mr. Cartwright, I heard Mercy speaking with AnnaLynn," Alyssa whispered. "I was at Mrs. Brighton's, and they were baking cookies. You know, the ones I brought the other day. And, well, at one point, I overheard them."
"You were eavesdropping!" Joe said.
"Joseph!" Ben shouted, immediately regretting his outburst.
Alyssa jolted at the sound of Ben's voice.
"Let her finish," Ben said, nodding to Alyssa.
"Well," Alyssa continued, "it seems that Mercy came here to Virginia City to tell you all what happened to Adam - that he's, well, dead. She thinks he is! She said she feels that she owes it to you to tell you in person."
Ben thought of a night not so long ago, when he and Adam had sat together on the porch, enjoying the warm, nighttime breeze. Adam had looked into the sky and sighed.
"Pa," Adam had said, "May I ask you something . . . personal?"
"Of course, son."
Adam stood, his hands shoved into his pockets - a gesture Ben hadn't seen since Adam's teen-aged years. He walked off the porch and craned his neck at the sky.
"Pa, you've loved and lost three wives. And even though you don't have a place to visit for my mother or Inger, you . . . well . . . excuse me for being crude, but at the time, you had something tangible to mourn. Do you know what I mean?"
Ben nodded as he slipped his pipe from between his teeth. "Yes, son. I understand," Ben assured. "I was with your mother and Inger and Marie when they took their final breaths. I visit Marie's grave often, so I have a physical place to mourn. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I also mourn your mother and Inger at Marie's grave. It's a place to speak to them all."
"Exactly," Adam said, his eyes still cast into the sparkling void. "And I have nothing. I mean, I'm thankful to have no memory of Mercy suffering, but I have nothing tangible to mourn."
"Son," Ben said quietly, "you have your memories. Surely those must bring some comfort."
Adam lowered his head and turned toward the porch. "Most of the time," he said, "they do. But sometimes, I think I may turn around or enter a room and she'll be standing there, waiting for me. It's as if a part of me still denies that she died in that fire."
"She's even taking a job here," Carrie added, "as the new school teacher."
The new school teacher . . . The words snapped Ben from his memory as his youngest son spun to face him.
"Pa! That was her! It . . . it was them!" Joe hollered. "The day of the robbery, in Virginia City. You remember - the picture I found and the little blonde boy . . ."
"That's Danny!" Carrie screeched.
Ben looked confused.
"Pa," Joe reminded him, "we were standing near the café, and a woman, a beautiful woman, came up and said she'd overheard us saying Virginia City needed a new school teacher."
Ben nodded.
"And then," Joe said, "the shots rang out and I remember seeing the woman grab the boy and run for cover! Pa! We met her! That was Adam's Mercy!"