Lipgloss and Cologne, chapter Thirty-eight.

Yay! Almost forty chapters. I'm shocked, really. : )

I just want to thank ALL my readers, and those of you who has reviewed.

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"The Birds and the Bees"

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James sat down in front of the roaring fire. He had his legs crossed, which resembled a pretzel. He was looking intently at his parents, who were attempting to give himself and Lily "the talk." Lily, needless to say, was on the verge of laughing. James was teetering the edge of embarrassment and laughing with Lily. As they were sixteen, they already knew the basics with what goes on behind closed doors and under the covers. It was natural to know the human anatomy by now. Lily glanced at James, who looked like he was trying to sink under the carpet, and never come out.

"Um..." Mrs. Potter started. Mr. Potter was standing off to the side, wringing his strong hands together. "Well. You know how flowers are grown..." Mrs. Potter started to say. Lily let a snort of laughter emit from her mouth. She tried to cover it with a cough.

"Sorry, Mrs. P, I have a load of phlegm in my throat. Continue." Lily coughed a little, making sure she sounded disgusting. Mrs. Potter looked at her kindly, and smiled.

"Well. To grow flowers, you need a seed. This seed is inside the woman." Lily glanced at James, who looked as if he wanted to die. She grabbed his knee, and he gave her a sharp look. She drew her hand back, and looked at his mum.

"The man's 'watering can' is... um... Harry, can you continue?" She looked at her husband, and he looked at her.

"Um, I have, to... um... wash my... dishwasher." He raced out of the room.

"HARRY! We don't own a dishwasher!" She called after him. She turned back to the two teenagers.

"Well. You know how when a girl reaches a certain age, her body changes, and she obtains eggs. These eggs need fertilization to grow. The fertilization comes from the male." James burst into laughter. Lily slapped him.

"Shh. This is interesting!" She snapped. Mrs. Potter smiled at Lily.

"Thanks, Lily, dear. I'm glad you're mature enough to handle this explanation. Anyway. When these 'seeds' are fertilized by the man's 'watering can', the eggs grow into babies." Mrs. Potter explained. By now, she was drawing diagrams on a piece of paper. Lily stared at them, with wide eyes. James' jaw was down on the floor. They shared a glance.

"You know what, mum? I think I know what I need to know. I won't go growing flowers. I promise!" James dashed out of the room.

"Don't worry, Mrs. P, I'll be safe." Lily took one last glance at the overly detailed comics of how babies were created. She shuttered, and ran after James.

"Lily..." James started cautiously, stepping away from her. Lily frowned.

"Yes?"

"Stay away from me, you female!" He shouted, and ran out of his room. Lily stared after him.

"James! We're not going to have babies together!" She called after him. He walked in, wearing a suit of armor.

"Promise?"

"I can't make promises, but, for the time being, we're not going to go planting flowers and that stuff your mom was talking about."

"Oh, okay," James lowered his sword. "So... you actually look like," he shuddered "those horrible diagrams." Lily looked at him.

"Let's not get your mum to teach our kids the sex talk." He laughed.

"Mum could've said 'you have sex. While having sex, little fish swim to the girl's eggs, creating babies. After nine months, you have a little demon running around the house in his undergarments.'" James said. Lily smacked him.

"No. You have to break it to them gently. Not so straight out. Even though, I think I'm scarred for life..." Lily shuddered, once again. James laughed, and pulled her close. He kissed the top of her hair.

"Okay, gently it is." He smiled, the thought of the dreaded diagrams sticking in his mind.

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There it is, chapter thirty-eight!! Hope you liked it! I thought we needed some humor in the story this time, haha. I hope this made you crack a smile. It didn't turn out like I had originally planned. Oh, well. Thanks for reading! New chapter coming REALLY soon!! I have the ideas already pinned in my mind! :)