Brain Damaged
Part Thirty-Eight
"Lavi, please stop badgering Kanda, he's going to hit you again…" Lenalee pleaded, taking Lavi's arm as he redhead reached for the swordsman's arm again. Not like he would have actually succeeded in grabbing it. Those glaring eyes were already peering over the shoulder of man's target. Kanda was on guard now. It seemed like the chance was lost the moment Kanda socked him in the face after laying claim on him. He was only joking…but then, the Japanese man wasn't very good with those kinds of jokes.
…Allen didn't find it nearly as amusing as he thought he would. Actually, it was kind of adorable how Allen nearly gave him the dark "I will hurt you" eyes that he got when someone hurt his friends or stole his food—added with the creepy aura he got when Poker Allen came out. He had no choice but to back up and admit defeat before Allen strangled him with a pleasant smile. Kanda was Allen's.
"Aww, Yuu, stop being so stingy. There's plenty of you to go arou—" He shut his mouth and held his arms up again at Allen's threatening claws pressed dangerously close to his face. Despite being scarier than shit, Allen had the nicest expression imaginable.
"I told you to stop, Lavi…" Lenalee looked up at him with her trademark please stop eyes and he shirked away from Allen.
"Oh fine, but they're just so damn cute," Lavi grinned, even as Kanda's gaze turned near deadly on him. The redhead was the master of being annoying and Kanda was certain he did it purposefully.
"Do you have the list, Lavi?" Allen asked, trying desperately to shake the man's probable mischief off. He just wanted a peaceful day before he was scheduled to be ripped from any pleasantness he'd gotten used to recently.
"I sure do. Komui's writing is terrible. But I have it memorized in here anyway," he pointed to his head. He passed the scrawled note over to Kanda, who snatched it with a curled lip that expressed his disdain for everything Lavi related.
"We'll split up," the dark haired man announced without any hesitance or room for question. He wasn't going to explain his desire to not see Lavi's face for an afternoon—he was certain that could be inferred if the bookman junior tried hard enough.
"Aw, we don't need to split up!" Lavi whined, but he was actually more disappointed by the probability of being separated. Something was up with Yuu and he wanted to observe. He'd already masterfully pissed Yuu off and gotten the sweeter end of the man's fist into his face. He'd been flipped over his shoulder too and threatened by Allen when he tried dragging Yuu off. Passing it off as jest, he got the chance to make a few observations. He wasn't blind to the single fact that Yuu was avoiding direct eye to eye contact with him. He kept his head perfectly angled to keep Lavi from really getting any clear view of his face.
The term "hiding" seemed to fit him at that moment. He hadn't been right for a while, but this wasn't the same kind of out of place as before. This was almost like he was holding himself very carefully and avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces at all cost—which originally led Lavi to pay attention to his face. What was he seeing?
"Lavi. Let's go to the south end of the market. We can pick up the first few items there and meet back with Kanda and Allen later," Lenalee pulled at his sleeve and damn it all, he couldn't say no to such a pretty face.
"Well, alright. But you're not off the hook yet, Yuu. I'll have you leaping into my arms in no ti—okay, okay, okay! Don't hurt me!" He yelped very suddenly at both Allen's clawed finger at his neck and the tip of Mugen close to his nose. They were a terrifying pair when they mirrored their actions like that. It was like they were moving as one unit and not two extremely dysfunctional ones. "I was kidding, ha ha!"
Kanda's expression darkened, but he didn't look Lavi full on—just from the corner of his eye. "Watch what you say while we're in public, you fucking idiot. It would piss me off if you got us arrested for blasphemy." It would sincerely piss him off to the point of murder, if he got arrested for alleged public displays of homosexuality—commonly seen as betraying the word of God in that particular area.
"I get it, I get it. Come on Lenalee, let's go look around." Damn. I lost my chance.
He was sure he'd get another chance, but for the time being he would let Allen do all the worrying about Kanda. He seemed to be fairly good at that if the previous months had anything to show. Taking Lenalee's arm, Lavi did positively note in his mind that Kanda was acting more like himself.
Allen waved to Lavi, feeling a strange sense that Lavi's mind was going in places he wasn't quite sure he should be curious or worried about. It was Lavi, there was a probability that both were happening at the same time. "Well…I guess we'll be on our way too then."
"Exactly where do we go?"
"Uh…we just look around. Check out the town. The shops; see what everything has to offer," Allen answered with a smile. "We're in the market district, so there's tons of imports and local shop stuff. You can find all sorts of amazing food," he drooled happily at the very thought.
"Is that all people do here?" He questioned, but suddenly regretted it. The look on the beansprout's face made him feel a little…stupid. A feeling that sent little tremors of irritation through him. Feeling stupid pissed him off. Even if it was Allen, he didn't like feeling stupid in front of another living creature.
"Kanda, you've never been shopping just to shop, have you?"
His face scrunched up in displeasure. "What of it?"
"I'm not making fun of you, BaKanda. Don't give me that look." Allen groused and shot him back a heated glare. "I never suspected you would really do anything that wasn't absolutely necessary anyway, but I'm a little surprised."
"Tch."
"Let's just go into a shop and look around."
"Just to look?"
"Just to look."
"What's the purpose?"
"To look, BaKanda!" He laughed and pushed Kanda toward a close by shop. "Not everything needs a reason. If everything needed a logical explanation, then we wouldn't be here at all."
"Tch," Kanda made a face and pushed the shop's door open before Allen smushed him against it. A bell on the door made a ding sound and his head turned in the direction of it with lightning speed. It really wasn't an intentional reaction, but all he could think about when he heard that sound was Daisya's bell. It made him stare at the bell for a moment. Some degree of camaraderie had existed between him and the soccer player, but he really hadn't had a chance to think on it. Ever since his refreshed memories, he hadn't thought about that. Now he was and it didn't upset him…but it made him feel the need to show at least that second of silent respect.
"Kanda? Something wrong?"
He moved his eyes from the bell and continued to move into the shop. "No, I'm fine. Just another memory resurfacing."
"Are you sure you're oka—Okay! No need to give me the evil eyes."
"You're worrying too much."
"Isn't that what I always do?" His voice was bland, but truthful. He always worried and he would always worry, especially about Kanda. He'd worry about Kanda even when there was nothing to worry about. That was the result of being mind shatteringly in love with the stubborn bastard.
"I suppose I can forgive you, then."
"So generous."
Allen's eyes wandered all over the little shop, different things catching his eye. To Kanda, Allen was like a kid in a candy shop. It was actually somewhat hard to believe that this little brat could be so…adult acting when he needed to be. When they were tangled up in the sheets, it didn't feel like Allen was only sixteen. But watching his eyes glitter at the shiny trinkets and estranged items from all over the world, it was somewhat…amusing.
Following the boy's lead, he wandered around the shop. He never really found a use for personal possessions, so he never even bothered. His "paychecks" from the Black Order either went to Lavi begging him for spare change all the time or he just saved it for long trips where he'd spend it on better hotel rooms than they would have normally been granted. He wasn't one for luxuries, but he'd rather not sleep in a lower classed bed that he had no idea what vagrants were probably having sex on it just before his arrival.
Despite having the money to buy any little thing in the shop, he really found no need. All he needed was his sword and possibly a hair tie to keep his hair from pissing him off. Other than those things, everything else was just a waste of time. Still, he looked around to humor the beansprout—poking at a thing here and there.
There were so many breakable things in there and for a split second he wondered if Allen should be even allowed in this place. Not that he was the lord of grace himself—when he was fired up he could be a walking disaster—but Allen wasn't graceful at all unless he was fighting. When he was engaged in a battle, he was like liquid; fluid in his motions and precise. Otherwise, Allen was an accident waiting to happen—only second in degree to Lavi.
Fingers traced over a glass and moved on to a mirror that was adorned in a silver frame with vines etched into it. It was a beautiful mirror…with exception to the reflection. Those golden eyes blinked back at him again and he wasn't sure if this was a hallucination or if his eyes really were turning gold again. It was especially confusing because of the brown locks and the mark over the reflection's neck. It was that face again. He says he had nothing to do with this, but this only started when Neah showed up.
He inspected the reflection, giving himself a chance to make mental comparisons. They did have the same face. The reflection and his own. Everything else was just a little bit different. It wasn't like with Allen and Neah, where the differences contrasted like night and day. Neah's hair appeared like a dark—deep—red, complimenting his dark skin and golden eyes. Neah seemed exotic and—despite some of the range of his disgustingly creepy behavior and questionable plans—he was some degree of charming when he needed to be.
Kanda blinked and realized he was actually staring at Neah's reflection and not just recapping things from his mind. Shaking himself out of his reverie he turned to look directly at Allen, seeing the white hair again and the soft silver eyes. Thankfully.
"Okay, that wasn't normal. I called your name like three times," Allen stated, his eyes showing his concern; but also showing a determined need to pry into any potential issues that could be dug out of Kanda.
"I'm just thinking."
"You're not on guard and you're distant."
"And you're annoying."
"If something is wrong, we need to know. Your personality seems in check, your memories are returning and you have your innocence, but there could be something else going on. Please don—" He was cut off abruptly by a finger placed over his lips.
"Say another word and I will not only strangle you half to death, but I will not hesitate to deny you," he drawled, knowing that Allen would catch his drift. It was a cruel tactic, but he knew how to hit people when needed. "I'm fine. And I will be fine."
Allen pouted but dropped the topic. He wanted to press Kanda until the man opened up and spilled out every little issue that he could possibly have, but that wasn't like him at all. That he even got full sentences out of him was a miracle in itself. So, for the time being, Allen let it drop—choosing to simply give him a pouty face.
"Don't you even put your lip out like that. Your innocent face isn't fooling anyone."
"My concern," Allen frowned deeper, "you have all of it. The least you can do is acknowledge that."
Kanda made a face and simply resorted to cuffing Allen upside the head for being so mushy in public. "You mentioned food," he started and pointed to the door. "If I shove your face full of it, will you stop harassing me like you're my obnoxious wife?"
"…I'll deeply consider it."
"Good, now get out."
To Be Continued…
A/N: I'm experiencing what I like to call "This is almost finished" syndrome. And it causes me extreme bouts of self doubt and feeling like I've botched this entire thing up and that it's not good enough or that everyone is OOC and I suck. I hate ending things. Which, it's only half done technically, but this half is such a mile stone for me. as someone who hadn't written anything longer than 3 pages in almost 3 years that I have filled myself with uncomfortable feelings of "GOD I SUCK DICKS."
Sorry for not replying to everyone this chapter, I'm instead opting for getting a jump start on the next chapter. I didn't mean for it to take so long on this one, but I reached a block of that "it's almost finished" syndrome kind. Despite knowing every little thing I want to do, I hesitate because I'm a giant tardmuffin.
I've been writing little pages here and there on Persecution to get me back into the way I write Kanda here. It's…a bad idea to Write this story after I write Kiss Me, My Pretty. LOL because I tend to accidentally blend the styles. Anyway, thank you all for your patience and I shall see you next chapter.