AN: Apologies for the lack of reply updates on C37, its been a long day.

Thirty Eight

Harry's mouth dried instantly, his spent cock straining against his pants all of a sudden.

"I thought you didn't bottom?" He responded bluntly.

"I believe I said I prefer to top," Severus responded, his hand still extended. "Which is true, I do prefer it. However, I am not against bottoming occasionally. That is, if you are willing to top?"

"I'm willing," Harry responded, ignoring Severus's outstretched hand and standing of his own accord. He chucked his clothes as he made for the bedroom, assuming Severus would be following.

His blood thrumming with a combination of hurt and desire, Harry was naked by the time Severus entered the room.

"How long has it been since you've done this?" Harry asked clinically, not making any move to assist Severus as he disrobed.

"Twelve years," Severus responded, standing naked before Harry, his hands at his side, presenting himself to his hurt lover like a sacrificial offering.

Harry knew he should respond; reassure Severus in some way, but, in that moment, he didn't have it in him to be reassuring or kind. He wanted to hurt Severus, hurt Severus in the same way Severus had hurt him...

And he couldn't...wouldn't do that. He had to leave.

"I can't do this," Harry muttered, suddenly sick to his stomach. He cast his eyes around the room in search of his clothes, determined not to look at Severus in the eye.

"Harry, I want you to," Severus came forward, his hand gently touching Harry's arm. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," Harry responded harshly. "It's really not."

"I can make it okay Harry," and in Severus's eyes Harry saw nothing but acceptance, almost as if Severus knew what Harry had been thinking moments ago, what he had wanted to do and didn't blame him for it. "Lie down, relax."

Harry allowed himself to be pushed to sit on Severus's bed. Closing his eyes, a hiss escaped his mouth as Severus kissed his way down Harry's body, before engulfing Harry's flaccid cock in his mouth.

Severus suckled him until his unwilling cock rose to the occasion. As soon as Harry's body responded, Severus increased his suction until Harry thought he might have sucked his brain out through his cock, such was the pleasant state of numbness he found himself in.

When Harry came, it was with such a feeling of release that Harry thought he might cry. Instead, he turned into the embrace that Severus offered.

"Forget the conversation we just had for tonight," Severus murmured lowly. "For now, rest. The rest can wait."

Not wanting to think, not wanting to feel, Harry slept.

Please don't worry, this is as angsty as this story is going to get.