Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, sadly... but they are on my birthday list!

Enjoy this chapter, chucks

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The paper fluttered from my fingertips to the cold, hard floor of the toilets.

As the deafening hum of the hand dryer buzzed like thousands of bees in my ears, I felt my peace and happiness shatter against the knife of misery and sorrow. A wave had broken over my head, and come smashing down upon me. Millions of tonnes of water, pressing against me, trapping me…

I became waterlogged- the levels rose- but I couldn't keep my head above the water. I was drowning, gasping for air, stranded like a whale on a beach…

…and piece by piece, the shard of despair cut deeper into my breaking heart.

Edward's POV

It was two hours before anyone found me. I vaguely registered Alice banging on the stall door, demanding my attention… and then when I didn't reply, I heard a crash as Jasper broke down the door. Then I felt pairs of hands all over me, grabbing at my shirt, shaking me. I couldn't reply. My mouth wouldn't open; no sound came from my throat. It was like I had dried up and frozen.

The next thing I felt was someone dragging me up from the floor, and then urgent voices speaking to me. I heard shouts, begging, coaxing, and anger in voices when I couldn't reply, then worry all over again. I can't remember anything from the way; I was unresponsive, but then next thing I knew I was back in my hotel room, stuck in a haze of blacks and greys. I tried blinking and shaking my head, but the dark, drab colours of anguish wouldn't shift. It was like my life had turned from an opening show in glorious multicolour, into a silent, black and white film that I was no longer a part of.

Over the next day, my eyes were fixed on the opposite wall while each member of my family pleaded with me to speak. I couldn't even hear them properly- it was like the bees I had been hearing before had taken up refuge next to my eardrums and were going about making as much noise as they could.

Had every touch, every kiss, been a lie?

Jasper spent most of the time with me in the room. Sitting in a chair in a far corner, sometimes speaking, sometimes silent. He wasn't like the mind probe of Alice; he was a calming presence in the room. He stopped me from running back to Bella or ripping apart the man she had loved more than me.

My emotions raged through the days. Most of the time, I was trapped in spirals of depression, but sometimes fury boiled in my blood like lava. I bellowed a heart-wrenching roar of pain. I threw the bed across the room. I destroyed everything in my sight.

And then the next moment I had slunk back to my corner, my back jammed against the door, my head between my legs. It made me sick to think.

I had lost my virginity, the most precious thing I had left, to that woman.

I couldn't even think her name any longer. It was too painful.

I was in pieces, and I didn't even make an effort to hide it. What was the point? What had I left to loose?

Soon, even seeing Jasper made me loose my temper. He had everything he wanted! His wife loved him more than life itself! He had a reason to live and breathe!

I think I attacked him once. I hurled a chair at him as soon as I saw him coming into the room. It smashed him back against the wall. The next second, I felt arms of iron pressing me against the far wall. I could see Alice, and Esme, and Carlisle. I couldn't read the emotions in their eyes. But Alice's were burning pits of thunder.

Of course, they would be. I had just assaulted her mate.

The next day I was left alone.

Alice's POV

He made no effort to hide the pain in his eyes, and every time I looked at him, it was like I was being physically struck. Every moment of every day, Edward looked like he had been kicked in the stomach.

I couldn't understand it. One moment, Edward had been overjoyed, about to get married to the love of his life, and the next, he was a shattered, broken man, and Bella was no where to be seen. Had they had an argument? Had Bella had second thoughts about the wedding? Edward wouldn't speak to anyone. Not even Jasper could manipulate his emotions out of the depths of depression and pain.

Jasper stayed in the room with Edward. I had suggested it. If Edward would speak to anyone, it would be Jasper. And my mate would be there when Edward was ready to talk again.

My visions still were not working. I had sat and tried to get a vision- by thinking about Bella, by looking for Edward's future- but nothing had come. It was like I was human again!

Rosalie and Emmett's flight was due back in four days. They would arrive in Forks at our house five days from now. And we were still stuck in a hotel, going slowly mad, not daring to move Edward. None of us could fathom what had gone wrong. Edward was still wearing his engagement ring, and I had seen him staring at it longingly on his finger when he hadn't known I was there.

A familiar voice jolted me out of my memories.

"Alice?"

It was Jasper. I ran into his arms, hugging him tightly against me. Seeing Edward like this had nearly broken all of us. I had become painfully aware that as Edward had lost Bella so suddenly, so the same could happen with Jasper and I.

"Are you alright?" he said, pulling me back to look at my face.

"Yes... no- no," I said, sinking back onto the hotel bed, and running my hands through my hair. "I tried talking to Edward earlier today. I asked him about Bella, but he didn't even seem to hear me."

"I know," Jasper said in a raw voice, "I've been with him for three days straight, and he wont say anything at all. Its like he's fallen into a coma."

"Carlisle doesn't know what to do, does he?" I said.

"No," Jasper said, running his hands up and down my arms soothingly, "I talked to him this morning. He thinks we should wait another day or so, and then go back to Forks. Maybe seeing the familiar house will make a difference to Edward's condition."

"Condition?" I whispered.

"What else can we call it?" Jasper said, "He's a broken man, Alice. It's like he's suddenly stopped functioning. He needs to hunt, but he doesn't even seem to notice."

I moaned in pain as I saw Edward's face in my mind again. His eyes were dull; they had lost all sparkle they had had before. His mouth never moved, never opened, never smiled.

"He only moves to shower," Jasper said into my hair. "And to pace the room."

"How was he today?" I murmured into Jasper's chest, turning him to face me so that I could wrap my arms around him.

Jasper's strong arms pressed my small form against his. "He was angry. He threw the bed across the room, and it made a massive dent in the wall. I don't know how we are going to explain it to the hotel staff..."

"He threw the bed across the room?" I said, "Are you serious?"

"Sadly, yes," Jasper said quietly, his voice subdued.

"Oh, Jasper. What can we do?" I moaned, "What can we do?"

Bella's POV

I pressed my face against the cold window of the train, my eyes squeezed closed. The freezing temperature of the glass reminded me of Edward's touch.

Victoria was ignoring me. She had got up a minute ago, to patrol the train- I assumed she was checking Edward hadn't followed me. He hadn't, and I thanked god for that. He was safe.

James was sitting in the seat opposite me, his hard, cold legs pressed against mine under the table between our seats. I had tried to move my legs out of the way, but whenever I moved, he did too. He smirked at me over the top of his newspaper.

Feeling sick, I turned back to the window. Edward was probably reading the letter now. I saw him in my mind, sticking his hand into the vent, his long fingers brushing the letter. Pulling it out and sitting on the toilet seat to read it, his topaz eyes narrowed in concentration...

Then in startling clarity, I saw his face contorting in pain. I saw flashes of our hotel room- Edward curled up in the corner of the room, his head pressed against his knees; I saw him bellow a roar of pain; I saw him throw the bed across the room with all his might. Then the last thing I saw was him staring blankly at his engagement ring, his eyes clouded with grief.

"A little present for you," Victoria smirked as she sat back down.

She was a sick, sick woman. I couldn't believe she had made her 'friends', (who were at present occupying most of the carriage, their long legs stretched across the isles) project that image into my mind. I felt bile rise up in my throat.

"Can I go to the toilet?" I whispered.

Victoria shook her head, one solitary menacing motion. "We don't want our little pretty to escape, now..."

James smirked. "I'll offer to accompany her to the toilet," he grinned, winking.

I made a disgusted sound and buried my face in my hands.

I couldn't believe what these people were doing to me! They had destroyed my life, and made me destroy the life of the man I loved. And now they were torturing me with images of him in so much pain.

"Stop this," I whispered, "Please, let me go."

"Why would we do that?"

"Why do you hate me?" I whispered, "What have I done to you?"

"It's not you, my stupid little human," Victoria purred, "I am doing this to break Carlisle's heart."

"What?" I whispered. "Carlisle?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand," I said, "You've broken Edward's heart, not Carlisle's."

"Aah, but that's where you are wrong," James sneered.

"This way," Victoria said with satisfaction, "I kill three birds with one stone."

"Three birds?" I whispered. I didn't understand. What had she got against Carlisle? What had she got against me?

"Yes," Victoria with a malicious leer on her face, "I basically kill you by making you leave Edward. I basically kill Edward by making you leave him. And I basically kill the rest of the family, including Carlisle, by having to live with Edward after this."

James stroked one long finger down Victoria's cheek. "She's a genius, isn't she?"

"What has Carlisle done to you?" I repeated.

"He let someone I loved very much die," Victoria said, "And for that, he deserves everything I can give him."

"What? That's all?"

"That's all?" Victoria thundered. "As if that wasn't enough!"

"People die all the time. Sometimes, however much they do, doctors can't save people," I said. I had to reason with her! I had to get her to stop this horrible revenge that was destroying so many lives.

"As if you would know!" Victoria said, "You know nothing."

I tried to speak again, but a withering glare stopped me. She lifted her hand, to show me the knife she was carrying. I fell silent immediately.

The train pulled into the station an hour later. Pushing through the bustling crowds, and creating a wake of destruction behind her, Victoria dragged me to another platform where we boarded another train. I was soon to realise that this pattern would repeat itself until the end of the next day, when we arrived at a tiny run-down hotel in the middle of nowhere, one case between us, and all that was left of the food a granola bar in the bottom of my fraying pocket.

Edward's POV

I let the boiling water run over my naked body, dripping off my fingertips and the end of my nose. I lifted my face to the ceiling of the shower, and opened my eyes. Through a blur of water, I could see the nozzle of the shower, power-spraying jets of water violently against my face. I turned it up so the water was hitting me harder.

I ran my fingers idly down the shower, and blew out a puff of breath against the fogged up glass. My cold breath made almost no difference to the condensation. I thought of Bella and how her warmness would make it fog up even more.

'Today had been a turning point', I had heard Carlisle whisper to Esme after they had left the room today. I had managed to force a couple of words out of my stubborn lips around lunchtime. Nothing much, or important, but I had answered a direct question about my feelings to Alice.

"Edward," Alice had said softly. It was about the fifth time she had said my name this morning, waiting for a response. When I gave none, she carried on. "Does it hurt more than you can bear sometimes?"

I looked up slowly from my twisting fingers and nodded once.

"I don't know what I can do to help," Alice had said, "But if there is anything, anything, that would make it even a tiny bit better, then tell me at once."

I nodded again, and then looked back down. I felt her hand grasp my shoulder and turn me to face her.

"Edward, I love you," Alice had said, "I can't stand this either. Why would Bella do this to you? Did you argue?"

"No."

"Then why?" Alice had said.

"I don't know," I had murmured.

And then she had left the room.

Sometimes, before I lay down to bed, I allowed myself a couple of minutes to visualise her face. Normally, it hurt too much to think of Bella, but at night time, I didn't care. I hadn't yet dropped the habit of getting into bed at night. Normally I did it for Bella, but now she wasn't here to sleep, and still I did it. Maybe it was too early for my mind to let her go.

Jasper's POV

I knocked lightly on Edward's door, giving him a few seconds to get decent before I went in. He was sitting on the bed as usual, twirling his ring on his finger with a melancholy expression on his face. His head snapped up and his eyes met mine as soon as I stepped into the room.

"We're going back to Forks today," I said.

"We are?" he said simply.

"Yes," I said in a low voice that was raw with emotion, "And I think you should come back with us. You're as much a part of this family as me, and we can all see that this place is bleeding you dry, Edward."

"What if Bella comes back?"

"She won't. It has been three days and we've been here, in the same room, day and night. If she was coming back, she would have done before now."

"She said she was just going to get a coffee," Edward muttered, his emotions fluctuating between depression and longing.

I tried and failed to lift his mood. As soon as I had entered the room, it was like a blanket of sadness had wrapped around me, and was stifling any happy feelings or memories. I needed to get out, and so did Edward. This place couldn't be doing him any good.

"We're leaving at lunch time," I said, "Do you need any help packing?"

"No," Edward said.

I nodded and turned on my heel towards the door. Just as I had my hand on the doorknob, Edward spoke. His voice was more frail or childlike than I had ever heard it.

"What shall I do with her clothes?"

I turned to look at the open case, which was strung with loose socks, a couple of woollen jumpers, two pairs of underwear, and a black top.

"She left them," he said softly.

"I'll give them to Alice," I said, closing the case and taking it from him, pretending to ignore the jumper that he picked out from the case and saved. I smiled weakly as I gently pressed the door closed.

Edward's POV

I finished packing my things in a couple of minutes. I sank back onto the bed, pressing her jumper against my nose. It still smelt faintly of her. I breathed in deeply.

It took me another couple of minutes to right the room into the state it had been in before. I pulled a couple of thousand dollars out of my wallet, to bribe the hotel staff not to mention the large dent in the wall I had made when throwing the bed across the room.

I dragged my case down to reception, gave them the bribe, and slumped down next to Alice on the waiting chairs near the door. Esme and Carlisle came down a half hour later, and Jasper a couple of minutes after that.

By one o'clock, we were on the road.

I had been kidding myself if I had thought I had been any better today. When we rounded the corner from the hotel, my heart began to burn.

What if Bella came back and couldn't find me?

I checked my phone, scrolling absent-mindedly through the applications. I played Tetris for a while before turning back to the window. I couldn't ignore the worry that clamped in my chest. She could have been meaning to come back. She could have been joking with the message. But in my heart, I knew that wasn't true. She would have meant the words, or not written them at all. Bella wasn't a girl to mess people around.

I took out the letter and began to read again, my fingers tracing lightly over the words she had written. As I read through it, a low groan slipped from my lips and Esme looked up to stare at me in the mirror.

"What's that, dear?" she said.

I folded the paper and tried to hide it, but she had already seen. She held her hand out for it, and with a sigh, I gave it up.

Her eyes flickered across the page and her brow furrowed. By the end of it, her fists were clenched and a small line curved near her tight mouth.

"What's that?" Carlisle said, looking sideways away from the road.

"A letter," Esme said, her voice unusually hard.

"From?"

"Bella," Esme replied.

"Oh?" Carlisle said, taking a hand from the wheel and holding it out towards Esme. "Let me see."

"Bella sent a letter?" Alice said softly from the back, next to me. "Read it out."

"No," I said in a final tone.

Why not? Alice thought.

"It hurts to hear," I muttered, turning towards the window and cursing my weakness.

Sorry, Alice said, I didn't know it was that sort of letter.

"When did she send it?" Jasper said.

Carlisle's eyes ran down the paper and a frown appeared on his face too.

"She left it for me," I murmured.

The letter was passed back to Alice, and Jasper read it over her shoulder. A couple of signs of outrage came from Alice as she got through it.

How could she? Alice thought, agree to marry Edward, act so happy about it, and then leave a couple of weeks before the wedding!

That is horrible, Esme thought; I don't believe it at all.

Esme doesn't believe it? I thought, then what did she think happened? The police stole Bella from me when they found her location? Yeah, right.

I saw Carlisle's quick mind processing the information in the set of his jaw and the thoughtfulness in his eyes. I knew he was assessing all the things that could have happened between Bella and I to make her leave.

"Are you sure you didn't argue?" Esme said softly.

"Yes," I said.

"And she didn't seem, well, odd, or anything, that morning?"

I thought back to the morning she had left. And the night before, when she had refused me when I was going to kiss her. Then I remembered how she had told me she felt ill. Was that the first pangs of guilt for what she knew she was going to do to me in the morning?

"She felt ill the night before," I said, "But wouldn't let me get Carlisle."

There was silence, as everybody became wrapped up in their thoughts. I looked out of the window, and with every beat of my heart, I longed for her.

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--Pulls out cake and candles--

"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear me, happy birthday to me!"

It's my birthday soon! WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Or don't. Whatever you prefer ;)

REVIEW, DOLLS! I made it an extra long chapter especially for you!

CullenLove