Chapter 38
I looked at my reflection in mirror. This was not Savannah Mason. This was some cookie cutter popular girl who didn't give a care for the important things in life. Already I was starting to lose control of who I was. Two weeks in a cheerios uniform can do that to you I guess. If I thought I was popular before than I was sadly mistaken. Making me a cheerio was the biggest boost to Sylvester's team she had gotten in months. Needless to say my friends and family were shocked to see me like this. Mouths dropped to this day when I passed through the halls to school. To be honest this was making me a little more snooty booty. Sometimes when I went and said something super mean to someone I just had to stop in my tracks. What was I doing? Who was I becoming? Whoever it was, I didn't like it.
Thankfully Jesse was back at school to be my support. He always told me that was who I was supposed to be, the person I was shaping into for the rest of my life. But was this who I really wanted to be? I was confused to say the least. I hadn't really talked to Puck since my crazy idea that we should run away together. Actually, I hadn't even really seen him either. That kind of worried me a bit. The last time something like that happened he ended up in juvie. I couldn't understand what was going through his mind at times but that was one of the reasons I had fallen in love with him.
Sighing, I picked my backpack up again and headed out to school. This wasn't my ideal scenario but we work with what we got. Thankfully people weren't gawking as much when I passed by in the halls as I headed to class. I self-consciously started to fidget around when some of the football players were eying me as I passed. I was never comfortable with it but as the time passed it started to get easier until finally it was something I strove for. It didn't take long; my so-called will of iron was more like a will of spaghetti. I tried to not wear my cheerios uniform around school, hoping to just have to deal with it at practice but Coach Sylvester had her eye on me. So that wasn't going to work. I've come to learn when Sue Sylvester wants something she gets it no matter what it is. I passed Michaela and Kate talking with their boyfriends by their lockers and I wanted to talk to them but two other cheerios drug me off before I could even say hi. Slowly but surely my old life, the me that I wanted to be but couldn't was drifting away and getting replaced by this new self obsessed me.
"Hey beautiful." Jesse said coming up to me after cheerios practice and kissed my hand.
"Hey handsome." I teased back only kissing him on the lips. He was wearing his football uniform because practice for them was about to start. I pulled back and picked up my bag and took a sip from my water bottle.
"You and me, tonight bowling alley. It's on right?" Jesse asked just as his coach started to call him.
"Of course!" I smiled up at him and he leaned down to kiss me one last time before running off to join the others. My smile remained as I turned around to head to the lockers when I ran into Puck. I wasn't watching where I was going and we smacked right into each other.
"Ouch! Watch where you are g-" I rubbed my arm which got squished between us but stopped when I saw who it was.
"Oh." I breathed out not able to really move. He looked down at me questioningly.
"Savannah?" He asked almost like he couldn't recognize me.
"Who else would it be?" I retorted getting annoyed. His face told me he didn't like my tone.
"What are you doing here?" He asked ignoring my gibe.
"What do you think I'm doing? I've got practice." I shook my head and looking around impatiently.
"No, I mean still in a cheerios uniform. This isn't you. This isn't right. I'll see you later." Puck's eyes narrowed and this time he shook his head.
"How do you know Puck! How do you know me?" I shouted the first part even though I was talking to his back thanks to him jogging away and almost whispered the second part. Gosh this was getting irritating. I went to get cleaned up and thought back over our confrontation. I was being a jerk. What was wrong with me? Puck was right. I'm not being me. This isn't good. I had to talk to him. I knew he could help me, no one else understood and Jesse was all for me being a cheerio. I climbed out of the showers and waited for Puck by his truck. I pulled the tailgate down and sat back like I used to do when he and I were together. I smiled at the memory. Those were some of the best times in my life. I pulled out my iPod and started to listen to random songs to pass the time and before I knew it Puck was leaning on the side of the truck beside me.
"What are you doing here?" He asked raising an eyebrow. I was startled at first but recovered quickly. I could see the cautiousness in his gaze and felt bad for the way I talked to him earlier.
"Listen Puck. I need to talk to you. I need hel…" I trailed off seeing no one other than Lauren Zizes coming up behind Puck and pulling his face to hers and kissing him. I just stared in shock. Lauren Zizes and Puck? This couldn't be happening. When they finally pulled away my facial expression must have shown what I was thinking. Puck cleared his throat and looked at me.
"Lauren and I are dating now." He simply said looking from her to me and then back again.
"That's right so back off Barbie." Lauren said motioning for me to get away from his truck. I was out of it so I complied without a word. What was going on here? No offense to Lauren but… Lauren? Of all people? I never would figure Puck out that was for sure.
"Uh, congratulations I guess." I muttered slowly backing away from them. Puck's eyes were compassionate as they searched my face almost forlornly.
"Wait. What did you want to talk about?" Puck asked reaching out to me to stop me. How could I think much less talk with Puck with Lauren the wrestling giant giving me a threatening glare?
"It's nothing. I'll see you guys later. Maybe." I turned and ran for my motorcycle. Why was it just when I was about to get closer to what I wanted someone throws another curveball at me? Puck and Lauren? I don't get it. How the? What the? My mind was overrun by problems and when I got home I went to Bianca's room and just cried on her bed. It must have freaked her out to see me like this but I just needed someone to cry to was all. She rubbed my back and occasionally asked what happened and if I'm ok but I couldn't answer at first, I was crying too hard. What was wrong with me? I was stronger than that. I knew I was.
"…Puck…" I managed to sniffle out when I had finished the worst of it.
"Puck? What happened?" Bianca asked a little worried.
"He's with Lauren Zizes." I breathed out wiping my eyes. She didn't answer but gave me a strange look instead.
"My thoughts exactly." I half laughed seeing her expression. I sat up and took a deep breath and smoothed my now growing hair out of my face.
"Well what are you going to do?" Bianca asked scooting closer and wrapping her arm around my shoulder.
"What can I do?" I slumped my shoulders in defeat. It was one thing for Puck to be with that cheating, lying, backstabbing, witch Santana but Lauren Zizes? This is just crazy.
"Tell him how you feel." Bianca spoke completely frank. She and my mother got the same genes as each other in that aspect.
"Yea, sure. I can't do that to Jesse. Besides, what would that do? I don't even know if he loves me or not. It won't work. And Lauren would probably squish me if I tried to take him back. GAH!" I hit my head against my hand exasperated. Bianca started to rub my back again gently humming to me.
"You are the smartest girl I know. You'll get by." Bianca said soothingly.
"The worst part is that it bothers me! It shouldn't. I'm with Jesse; I really do love Jesse too. At least, that is what I think. Why did he do this to me?" I shook my head and rubbed the back of my neck trying to get it to stop hurting. Every time I cried that would happen. It was annoying.
"Maybe he is trying to get you to see something." Bianca muttered and that was when it hit me.
"That's it! He is trying to make me jealous. He wants me to fall at his feet begging him to take me back. Or maybe he just couldn't resist the ladies. I'll never understand him." I leaned back against Bianca's headboard and closed my eyes.
"If he wants to play that game then fine. I can play it too. From now on Puck and I aren't even on the same planet. Thanks for your help Bianca." I reached over and gave her a hug. She looked a little skeptically at me when I stretched my arms.
"What?" I asked giving her a sideways glance.
"You always blow things out of proportion. Maybe Puck is just trying to move on like you are with Jesse? Who knows." Bianca looked out her window for a moment while I sat thinking.
"Well whatever the reason, he and I need to go back to the way we were before we made such bad mistakes. I've got to go get ready now. Jesse is taking me bowling." I smiled and stood to leave the room but what Bianca said still bothered me. Was he trying to move on? Nah.
Jesse and I were in the middle of our second game and having a blast. He was pretty good but obviously I was going to think I'm better. The first game he won but I was ahead now.
"Move aside mister. I've got winning to do." I said playfully pushing Jesse aside and picking up my pink ball.
"Please, like you won the first game?" Jesse replied getting into character and crossing his arms. I glanced back at him with narrow eyes.
"I let you win." I lied with a coy smile. I looked back to the lane in front of me and took my stance letting the ball roll down the stretch knocking the pins over.
"Strike!" I shouted excited and jumping up and down quickly.
"Take that!" I said getting into Jesse's face tauntingly. He nodded a couple times while I sat down on his lap to type in my score.
"I see how it is. Girl got game." He spoke clearing his throat.
"I've always got game." I answered finishing my score and standing up again.
"Oh really?" He gave me an evil look.
"Really." I sat down at one of the empty chairs and took a sip from my Coke.
"Very well then. Let's make a bet." Jesse said picking up his black ball and holding it casually.
"What's your offer?" I asked leaning back nonchalantly.
"If you win I'll be your humble servant for exactly one day. No questions asked." Jesse said rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
"Well, you do that anyway but I might accept. Depending on what you want on the .1 percent chance you might win." I crossed my legs and gave him a 'I dare you' look.
"If I win. You'll be my lady tonight. Well… to a certain extent." Jesse raised his eyebrow at me waiting for my answer. It only took me a moment.
"Deal." I replied standing up and shaking his hand.
"Then it's on." Jesse said putting his ball down for a moment and jumping up on a chair.
{Jesse}
Come on everybody, gather round.
I'm gonna show you how to knock 'em down.
When I'm on the ball, I'm the number one.
And I'm gonna show you how it's done.
{Both}
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.
Hey, come on, let's get this show on the road.
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.
We're sittin' on a bomb that's about to explode.
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
If you're lookin' for a fight, then the time is right.
We're gonna wipe the floor with you tonight.
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll,
We're gonna bop, we're gonna bowl.
We're gonna score, score, score, score, score tonight!
{Jesse}
*Screams*... Hey Savvy, take a look over here,
I'm your kingpin, honey, and I'm gettin' in gear!
I looked around and thankfully there was no one but old people around so I thought I might as well sing. Who cares! I was having fun so I started to strut down the aisle towards him.
{Me}
Hey Jesse, Jesse, go bowl that strike,
And I just might be your baby tonight!
{Everyone}
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.
Hey, come on, let's get this show on the road.
Let's bowl, let's bowl, let's rock-'n-roll.
'Cause the stakes are high, and the winner takes all!
{Both}
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
{Jesse}
Don't get sore when you lose tonight,
{Me}
We're gonna show you how to do it right.
{Everyone}
We're gonna score tonight, we're gonna score tonight.
We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll,
We're gonna bop, we're gonna bowl.
Repeats...
When the song finished I gave Jesse a disapproving look. He did win. The little stinker was holding out on me. Everyone started clapping for us and I breathed a sigh of relief when every face I saw was over 40. Whew, secret safe. I wasn't going to deny that it was fun though very fun. Even though I lost.
"Looks like someone else has skill here." I rested my hands on my hips biting my lip with eyebrows raised. Jesse laughed and walked up to me putting his hands around my waist.
"You can't tell me a little piece of you didn't want to lose." He said giving me an intense look.
"I hate losing." I answered reaching to pull his hands off when he kissed me roughly. I thought about fighting back but I remembered I lost the bet. So maybe now that I think of it, it wasn't exactly a bad bet to lose. If you didn't mind losing of course.
We headed to his place afterwards to hang out some more. Jesse helped me forget my problems and I was happy to say he made me laugh again. Recently I found it hard to find good things but he was always there for me. Another reason why I loved him. Could it be possible to love two guys? Apparently Bella in Twilight did, I guess.
"So are you going to pay me or what?" Jesse asked backing me up against his wall pinning my hands there also. It wasn't a scary feeling like with Fuller; nothing would feel that horrible. Jesse doing this was more seductive than anything. I gave him a determined look and raised my chin proudly.
"I'd like to see you try and make me." I challenged him and he needed no further coaxing. Even though Jesse and I had promised to remain 'untouched' until we got married (and not necessarily to each other as I so plainly told him.) he and I did manage to get a few heated make out sessions in. I would be a liar to say at times I didn't want more but my mind always gave me the warning flairs when needed.
"Ok! That is enough." I cleared my throat and pushed Jesse off of me so I could stand up from being on his bed. Jesse laughed and gave me my space thankfully. Unlike Puck, he was good like that.
"Take all the time you need. I'll be waiting." Jesse winked at me and leaned back against his pillows. I remembered back when he got hurt and said a quick thanks to God for helping him recover so quickly. His nose was on the mend and apparently all stiffness was gone, or so he said.
"No getting overboard." I teased trying to shake the jitters out of my system.
"Which is completely and totally almost nearly impossible. I'm far too in love with you to not be that way. You are just so perfect!" Jesse exclaimed leaping up from the bed and grabbing my iPod and placing it on his jack. Mamma Mia's 'Lay All Your Love On Me' played and Jesse took a stance beginning to sing Sky's part.
{Jesse}
I wasn't jealous before we met
Now every man that I see is a potential threat
And I'm possessive, it isn't nice
You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice
But now it isn't true
Now everything is new
And all I've learned
Has overturned
I beg of you
{Me}
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
It was like shooting a sitting duck
A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck
I still don't know what you've done with me
A grown-up woman should never fall so easily
I feel a kind of fear
When I don't have you near
Unsatisfied
I skip my pride
I beg you dear
{Jesse}
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
{Both}
Don't go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me
{Me}
I've had a few little love affairs
They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce
{Jesse}
I used to think that was sensible
It makes the truth even more incomprehensible
{Me}
'Cause everything is new
And everything is you
And all I've learned
Has overturned
What can I do?
{Both}
Don't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
Don't go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me
When we finished we were back on his bed with Jesse on top of me. It felt so good to be able to sing with someone. Especially if that someone was my boyfriend and didn't throw slushies in my face.
"I love you Savannah. Forever and always." Jesse muttered breathlessly looking down at me.
"Just kiss me already." I replied pulling him down to me. Just as our lips met again a picture of Puck flashed through my mind. Damn! why did he always have to butt in?