Heart's Starlight
Chapter 35: A shoulder to cry on

I looked at Veria, my eyes calm but had a small glint of anger. Veria crawled away from me, her eyes wide with fright, but I kept advancing on her. I held my hand out and it slowly formed a small ball of lava forming. I reared my hand back and tossed it toward Veria. It slammed into her stomach and she screamed as it ate at her dark skin. "Why did you kill her?" I asked, reaching my hand out and a link of fire formed between her neck and my fingers.

"I don't have to answer to you!" she spat. I narrowed my eyes and curled on finger. She screamed as a part of her neck's skin ripped off. She glared at me and I stared blankly back at her. "You want to know what? Fine! I just felt like it!" I glared at her, which caused my hair to whip around and the wind pick up.

"You took an innocence's life because you felt like it?!" I snapped. Veria laughed and I narrowed my eyes. "What if I felt like snapping your throat or tearing your heart out?" Veria's eyes widened. "Wouldn't that be fair? Wouldn't that be good enough revenge for my sister?" Veria shook her head. "Oh, really? Then what's a good punishment for an ugly fiend like you?" She didn't answer and I chuckled. "Of course you wouldn't have one!"

I flexed my fingers, which made her float over to me so our faces were inches apart. "You disgust me!" She whimpered. "Elemental maidens are told to be the most beautiful beings alive and you have put their name to disgrace." Veria glared and tried to break free, but screamed when her neck ripped open new wounds. "I wouldn't move if I were you. You see, my inner power is something unique and something that hasn't a name." Veria locked her jaw and I grit my teeth. "I'm going to kill you now," I said, smirking.

"No," she whimpered. "There needs to be two elemental maidens for balance!" I rolled my eyes.

"As soon as you die, there will be another elemental maiden born from two human lovers that qualify. That was how I was chosen," I said, shocking myself I knew that answer.

"No! You were made by demons," Veria stated. I stared at her confused. "You ... you are something other than the elemental maiden!" I glared at her and closed my fist. Veria screamed as her neck split. She fell to the ground, with the same wound as my sister, and I turned away from her as she bled. I bent low to my sister and ran a bloody hand over her forehead. I pulled her into my arms and stood, staring at the boys.

"Kirei ..." Kaida said gently. I looked at her. "You're ... still in your maiden form!" I looked away from her and ignored her statement, walking out of the room, up the spiral staircase. I walked down the hallway and every other minion she had bowed or stared at me, amazed. The team followed me, staring around confused, and we made it outside.

A portal appeared and I walked through it without a word. Koenma looked up at me sadly, but his mouth hung open when he looked at me. "K-kirei?! You're in your ... maiden form?!" I glared at him, causing him to look sad. "Kirei, I didn't know she ha--"

"Well, you should've looked," I snapped, the wind picking up. "Now my sister's dead and it's your fault." Koenma frowned and I stared away from him as Yusuke walked forward, placing an affectionate hand on my shoulder. I looked at him and gasped. "I'm ... taller?!"

"Yes," Koenma stated. "Elemental maidens are tall in their maiden forms! Veria was always in her maiden form, which led her to the morphing part of it." I nodded, staring down at my lifeless sister. "Kirei, I could try to bring her back like I did Yusuke."

"No. I don't need her to remember me not being able to save her." Koenma frowned. "She's in a better place than this hell hole anyways. She doesn't have to deal with Kathrine or the stupid police or ... me." My eyes lit up with tears and I felt a releasing feeling and Yusuke grew taller. I fell to my knees, gripping Chessy to me, my body shaking.

"Kirei, don't blame yourself," Koenma said, walking up to me. I looked at him, my tears lining my face. Koenma frowned. "It's not your fault. You were right ... it was mine. I should've known that Veria would want to get to your heart and pierce it in the most horrible way!" I frowned, my tears splashing on Chessy's bloody self. "I'm so sorry, Kirei." I looked away from him and stroked Chessy's face, my heart throbbing with pain. I couldn't feel anything but my aching heart.

"Will you set up a funeral?" Koenma nodded. "With Sakura blossoms! Chessy loved those." I pursed my lips from keeping myself from crying and sighed, clearing my throat. "She would love to be buried under one."

"I can do that. Certainly!" Koenma smiled and placed a weary hand on my shoulder. "I'll have all the preparations done in at least three days!" I nodded and stared at my Chessy some more. I frowned and closed her eyes slowly and leaning my forehead on hers, clenching my eyes shut. "I'll have Bob take her to get cleaned up and processed," Koenma stated, nodding over some ogre. I nodded and stood, still holding her.

Bob looked at me, sadly, and I stared at Chessy, smiling weakly. "I love you, Chessy," I muttered as I handed her to Bob who paused before walking out. I stared after the ogre and gripped my chest, which ached more as the doors closed. I looked down solemnly and sighed. "Portal Koenma?" I said, more of a question. Koenma nodded and a portal appeared.

I walked through and paused once on the other side before falling to my knees and burying my head in my hands. I felt two arms wrap around me and I leaned into the person. "It's okay, Kirei," the person said. I noticed it as Kaida, since she was the only girl in the house beside me. She embraced me and sighed. "Get her some water or something to drink!" she whispered. I let out a dry sob as I began to completely crumble and Kaida picked me up, walking me toward the couch, I presumed.

She sat me down and I kept my face buried in my hands. "Here, Kirei," I heard. I looked up to see Kuwabara handing me some iced water. I took the glass and began sipping at it. I never knew I could cry this much, honestly. I already missed Chessy. She was so child-like and I loved it. All she ever wanted to do was have fun and make new friends.

"What do I tell Kathrine?" I sobbed. "I have to face her somehow." Kaida frowned at me and I pursed my lips, wiping my face with the back of my hands but that didn't stop the tears from falling. "Then I really will be called a murderer!" I sobbed, the tears falling quicker.

"No, no you won't, Kirei!" Kaida said, frowning. "You didn't kill her!"

"But I couldn't stop it!" I screamed before standing and running out of the house. I ran through the forest, almost blinded by tears, and wiped at my face. No sooner than I did, I tripped over a root and I fell to the ground, sobbing. I sat up on my hands and knees and sobbed, my tears hitting the ground. "It was all my fault," I sobbed. "I was supposed to protect her. That's the duty of the older sister!" I looked up to see my stream. I stood and walked toward it, staring down at it and my tears joining with it. The fish looked up at me, sadly, and I closed my eyes peacefully. I stepped in the water and sat down, staring blankly at the stream flowing over the small rocks and racing passed me like I was just another rock.brbr

The fish swam around me, trying to gain my attention, but all I did was stare blankly as my reflection with wobbled and wavered with the waves. I frowned and ran my fingers through the face of it, fish swimming to rub against it. I frowned and reached up wiping the falling tears from my eyes, but new ones replaced the old.

I sniffled and closed my eyes, trying to stop my tears. I knew that if Chessy was alive, she wouldn't want me to cry. She hated seeing me cry.

"Sissy?" Chessy said outside my door as I sobbed. Earlier at school, one of the older girls, a senior nonetheless, had accused me of having an affair with her boyfriend and called me all these names. This was the period of time when I didn't have any self-confidence because of my height and the fact I had a fake-mother instead of a real one.

"G-go away, Chessy," I shouted. These were also the days I hated my younger sister because my fake-mother birthed her.

"Why you crying?" she asked from outside the door. I sniffled and looked at the door with narrowed eyes. It opened and the petit three-year old strolled in, smiling. "Sissy don't cry. Nothing hurt you." She crawled up onto my bed and grunted when she sat. I frowned at her and she grinned at me. "Mean girls are... mean. You are nice, sissy! You not cry because of them," she said, adding a nod to confirm what she said.

"You don't know these girls, Chessy," I said, coldly. Chessy frowned and looked away. I looked at her and felt bad slightly.

"So what? No one's worth crying over," she said sweetly. "Like you! You don't cry." She hugged me and I tensed. I sighed and wrapped my arms around her. From that moment on, I loved Chessy so much because she'd always cheer me up by doing something goofy or something bizarre that only I'd find funny. From the moment on, I was her big sis and she was my little munchkin!

The tears fell quicker when I realized I'd never be able to make such hilarious memories with her again. She was always there for me when I needed her. It was supposed to be the other way around, but she was really mature for her eight year old self. I buried my face again, drawing my knees to my chest in the water and staring down at the ripples that were fading and reappearing.

What am I supposed to do without her? She was my little sister. I can't see my life without her, I thought, frowning. I closed my eyes peacefully and let the tears seep onto my lashes and fall mercilessly down my cheeks. If I could, I would stop them but there was no way I'd be able to anytime soon.

I was glad no one interrupted my thoughts by the stream. I wanted to be alone for a while, to mourn and sulk without being told to it'd be okay or everything's alright because everyone knows those two lines are phony and won't ever come true. It's a common sense thing. When is it ever okay and when is anything alright?

"My friend Reika used to always say it's better to comfort yourself than to be comforted," I said, petting a small fish that seemed happy I was giving it attention. I frowned, thinking of my friends and how they'd take to hearing Chessy was dead and that I just let her die while I tried to stay standing. They'd probably think I was lame or I had no love for my half-sister. Reika would understand if I told her why I couldn't stand right. Yumi and Yume were always the judgmental types while Karen had a conservative mindset, which always bothered me. Those three would make assumptions before I had a chance to say my part.

"But I loved them," I whispered. "They were my other sisters." I ran my finger softly over a fish who stared up at me sadly. "I wish this never happened. I wish I never grew into the stupid elemental maiden. I wish I never met Koenma. I wish I never met the boys." I frowned. "My life wouldn't be so downhill right now. And I wish my dad never met Kathrine."

I froze after that thought. "Then there'd be no Chessy," I muttered. "Just like now." The tears that I managed to stop started up again and my bottom lip quivered as I watched the fish all swim around me, staring up at me the entire time. "I wish my life was more like a fish's. No worries. No hassles. Nothing. Just swim down a stream and try not to die by rocks and currents," I stated, chuckling slightly as the tears slowed once more.

"Kirei?" I closed my eyes. I really didn't want to deal with people. I looked over to see Kaida, who looked at me kind of lost. "If you hadn't of been talking to yourself, I would've gotten lost." I frowned and didn't laugh as she smiled goofily. Kaida frowned and sighed. "Kirei, I'm not going to sit here and say everything's okay because I've never lost a sibling to someone who said she wouldn't harm her if you complied." I looked away as my eyes lined with more tears.

"But I will say that Chessy doesn't hate you. She knew there was nothing you could do with a wound that went straight through your body and blood coming out of you like a waterfall. Chessy was a smart girl." I nodded, knowing that was true. Kaida sat at the edge of the stream, cross-legged, and smiled gently. "You should remember all the good times and not the bad times. The good times are what keep us going day to day and keep us from hating the world and everything in it."

"Like I hate my powers?" I asked, tearing. Kaida frowned.

"Kirei ... her death had nothing to do with your powers." I frowned.

"Yes, they did. If they had just awoken earlier and I went into my maiden form sooner, Chessy would still be alive." Kaida frowned. "I had complete manipulation over Veria in that form and I could've scared her into not killing my sister." Kaida nodded and reached over, rubbing my shoulder before smiling.

"She loved you and that's all that matters." I looked at Kaida teary before frowning and staring at the water.

Meanwhile, a certain fire demon was staring at the scene, his crimson eyes staring at Kirei's saddened form. He didn't like to admit it but he hated seeing her cry. She wasn't meant for crying. She'd smile and it'd brighten the room. And as she's crying, the whole sky is darkening, he could feel it.

He sighed and leaned against the trunk as the faerie talked to her. He didn't mind her but she showed up when he wanted to go speak with her. He knew she wanted to be alone, but he'd just be there for his shoulder: a shoulder to cry on. Humans he thought cruelly, when something goes out of plan, you go for shoulders.

He frowned and watched as Kaida stood, smiling down at the frowning Kirei. He ignored what she said as a goodbye and watched the faerie leave before staring back at Kirei who was making circles in the water with her finger, which turned into whirlpools as she did, causing many of the fish to spin around and try to swim straight but failing.

"At least somebody's having fun," she murmured, smiling slightly. The fire demon smirked and kept leaning against the tree, waiting for the perfect moment to go talk to her.

I sighed, creating whirlpools for the fish that seemed to enjoy it, and glanced around before adjusting my position and leaning against the shore line. I let the fish swim over me, around me, and up the legs of my pants and out again. They'd get an inch in before racing out before of the darkness. I sensed someone and turned my head to see the familiar fire youkai, Hiei.

"Salut, Hiei," I stated, frowning. He didn't say anything as he walked forward, sitting beside my head. I kept my gaze away from him, knowing I'd cry and grip onto him for support. "What brings you out here?"

"What else, onna?" I smiled weakly. It was hardly classified as a smile.

"Oh," was all I said as I chased fish with my fingers. I was feeling slightly better, but not much. The talk with Kaida helped a lot since she didn't say the normal get over it theory.

"That doesn't work for anyone." I chuckled slightly. I knew he was digging around in there. "It's not called digging."

"Yes it is," I mumbled. "You're interrupting my thoughts, Hiei."

"Hn." I frowned and stared over at him, our eyes connecting. Instantly, my eyes lit up with tears and he frowned at me.

"Hiei, I don't know what to do," I sobbed quietly. Hiei reached into the water and pulled me out easily, sitting me in his lap. I curled up against his chest and gripped his shirt.

"You'll figure it out," he whispered. "You're a tough girl." I nodded into his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping my face against his shirt, which was growing a damp puddle, as well as his pants.

"I'm ... sorry about your clothes," I whispered as he stood and jumped into a nearby tree. He shrugged and settled me in his lap again. I moved a little bit before settling against his heaving chest. I smiled softly hearing his steady heart beat and gulped before saying, "I can hear your heart."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's really mellow." Hiei chuckled and I smiled. "Do you ever get nervous?"

"No."

"Why?" Hiei shrugged. I chuckled and glanced up at him. Even through hard times like Chessy's death, Hiei still kept me at bay. I hoped tomorrow was a better day and not so emotional. I knew Chessy was in a better place but I still wanted her here with me.

"Everyone wants that," Hiei mumbled.

"Who is this everyone?" I joked. Hiei smirked and I smiled up at him. "Hey, your heart skipped a beat."