I painted the white canvas with caution as if any moment my shaking hands would make a mistake. I hated painting.

It was the only thing I could think of doing to maybe get over my fear or anxiety, whatever it was and channel it into something good and nice. I woke up in a grumpy mood so I tried to think of something to do with my day.

When I used to paint I never had an image in mind I would just let my brush do all the work and sometimes it would turn out and others it would look like shit. I loved to paint as a kid, it was the one time no one yelled at me for making a mess.

(Play Song, terrified by Isaac Gracie)

The sound of the rain on the roof created a steady rhythm making the silence bearable. I was glad to be alone but scared of it too. I knew I had issues around this time of year, fuck, it was like clockwork.

Hazel texted me earlier and told me she was bringing me food when she got done with work and for me not to do something stupid.

I would be lying if the thought of calling Ethan to see if he had anything to distract me from myself but I couldn't do that. I knew it would hurt the people around me. Probably the reason my dad doesn't trust me anymore.

I sighed looking at the canvas again. The once white background was now different shades of red, crimson dripped in the background of the painting. A face was barely there to be made out. As if it were a ghost trapped in the city, yet no one could see or sense it. No one cared.

The longer I looked at it the more my face turned into a glare. I cleared off my bed by throwing the paints on the floor. I no longer cared if they messed anything up I couldn't stand the sight of them. I should have just thrown them away when I got them, but I couldn't.

I laid back closing my eyes in frustration. My head hit the pillow and the sleepless nights caught up with me. Before I knew it I was drifting off back to that night.

Flash Back

"Bianca, hurry up before we are late. The storm is getting worse and I don't want to be out long." my mom called for my sister. She would take Bianca everywhere with her if she could. "Why can't I go?" I asked.

"Because you're too cool for it Neek's," Bianca smiled at me. She sat on the steps tieing up her new shoes.

To my surprise, my mother was the one who sat next to me. I remember her being on edge every storm we had as if it meant something bad was going to happen. Her dark hair perfectly curled around her face, she was dressed up like always, in her finest shoes and clothes.

"Listen mio figlio, we are going shopping for something special, it's not everyday we travel to this part of town."

She gave me a smile before leaning down and kissing me on the head. After that she was walking out the door with Bianca close behind.

I sat on the warm floor playing my favorite game, mythomagic. It was not really meant for one person to play it alone but I normally did.

The fire crackled every once in a while making me jump sometimes because of how silent the house was.

I don't know how much time had passed but by now the lights were on outside and what stars you could see were shining brightly too.

With no warning my father rushed out of his study shouting at someone on the phone. "I don't care how much it cost, get her there, now!"

His voice was harsh but he also sounded like he was on the verge of tears. He through on a jacket and walked out the door. He came back in a few minutes remembering the ten-year-old he left behind.

"Where are we going?" I questioned. The whole trip was silent, my father not saying a word. We pulled up to a random street in the city and there was a crash. One car even flipped.

The lights from cop cars and ambulances were blinding. My dad held my hand, "Nico, stay in the car, okay?"

I nodded and watched him talk with someone in a uniform. When that got boring I looked at the flipped car, thinking about how familiar it looked. Watched as a guy pulled away some man all bloody and gross on an ernny.

It started to rain and I fell asleep to the peaceful sounds that patterned on the roof of the car.

The next morning when I woke up is when I started to feel weird, Bianca normally woke me up telling me not to sleep the day away. "There is always something interesting to do if you look hard enough," she would yell when I didn't want to get out of my warm bed.

My father was on the phone again when I made it down the steps, he ignored me when I walked past him to the kitchen. I still couldn't find anyone so I helped myself to some food and sat at the table.

My father pushed open the door and walked in with his scowl across his face, his eyes were red and puffy like he was crying all night. He threw the phone on the table. "Stronzo!" his voice caused me to jump slightly.

"What's wrong?" I asked timidly. He looked over at me, guilt or something washed over his face for only a brief second.

"It's about your mother and sister . . ."

End of flashback

I woke up screaming which was not shocking to me, but it concerned Will. He ran to my room clearly he had just got home only to see me in bed with paint basically everywhere and I was screaming and crying.

I know I am such a delight to come home to.

Without saying anything Will just sat next to me pulling me into a comforting hug. He smelled like coffee this time and fresh baked cookies. We laid/sat like that for a few minutes until the doorbell rang.

I bolted up in panic, I need to clean my room before Hazel saw it. "Can you distract her for a few minutes?"

Will nodded and kissed me lightly on the lips before leaving to get the door. I rushed around picking up all the paint bottles and brushes on the floor and bed. She knew what painting meant to me so I had to hide it from her.

When it looked better I ran to the bathroom and washed the paint off my hands and arms.

Will and Hazel were setting the table when I walked out to see them. "Hey, Neek's. Sorry I'm late my boss had me finish a project and it took longer than I thought it would."

"It's fine, I was sleeping anyways," I muttered.

My body ached from what? I have no idea I just felt like all my muscles had a dull pain in them.

I didn't want to eat anything and it was noticed by both Hazel and Will. I took a bite before one of them tried to feed me themselves. I swear they were both very observant when it came to my food.

I tried pushing it from side to side messing it up so it would look like I ate more than I did, but that didn't work with them.

"Nico di Angelo you are already skinny take another damn bite," Hazel finally said.

I knew when she swore it was to be taken seriously. I took a few more small bites forcing it down. It wasn't that it was not good, because Hazel's cooking was always great, but I was just not hungry.

I had a bit of anxiety from my dream still and wanted to curl up on the couch instead of sitting here. I tried my best not to show that though, I don't need to tell her I had that dream again.

Will got up to do the dishes as Hazel watched me finish half my food. She smiled at me before clearing the plate away.

She left soon after we ate the dinner she brought. Before she left she hugged me and whispered in my ear: "she would not want you to lock yourself up like this. I'll be back tomorrow and we can go for a little walk."

I nodded, knowing there was no point in saying no to her. Plus I knew it would be good for me to get up and out of the house for a little.

I seriously don't know what I did to deserve such an awesome sister. She has been doing this for years now. She would always make sure I had food and wasn't just locked up in my room.

Will was also helpful when he told me to get a bath. He had so many bubbles in the tub I thought I was going to be lost in them.

"You think you added enough?"

He shrugged, "I only added half the bottle."

I rolled my eyes at him and started to get undressed. "Unless you are joining me, get out."

He grinned, "is that an invitation?"

"You're impossible."