Rachel's P.O.V.
After a nice chat with Piper, in which Rachel had to spill a gossip or two (like, the suspicion that her own mother was following her and Octavian around during their quest. Piper was surprised she believed that) the last thing she ever hoped for was that someone would be screaming her name like a maniac or that something was on fire.
That someone shouting like a maniac was none other than Travis Stoll.
"Travis, slow down..." Rachel grabbed him by his arms and tried to calm him, as he was speaking a mile per hour or something like that. "I can't understand a word you're saying..."
"Octavian... Away... Bad thoughts..." Travis was able to pant between breathing. Unfortunately, it was enough for Rachel, who looked serious in a matter of seconds.
"Calm down! In that state you won't be able to help!" She scolded him, trying not to show her own panic. Travis could see how fast her eyes were moving, looking around them, as if she was calculating possibilities and doing math in her brain. "OK... OK, I need you to do something for me, alright?" Travis simply nodded. He was willing to do anything at this point. Counting on that, she handed him her backpack. "Take this to the bonfire and stay there. When I tell you, you throw them into the fire, got it? Got it?!" She pressed, knowing that Travis was in too much shock to argue with her.
"Yeah... Yes!" He finally agreed. Rachel nodded back and allowed him to leave, while her mind was looking around. Where could be Octavian...? An imaginary lightbulb turn on on her head and she rushed to a place that she could find him. Luckily, the weight if the books wasn't slowing her down, as she could reach the top much more faster than before.
And, that was a great thing too.
The first image she saw when she reached the top of the Hill (she assumed that Octavian would be at the entrance, as a warning to the next poor and scared camper that crossed it or for the fool monster that wanted to attack), was the back of Octavian. She sighed in relief until she froze on her spot, because her eyes had caught the glimmer of a silver object on his hand and reaching quickly towards his own chest.
She didn't stop to think, but she preferred to act, instead. She didn't scream, but her action said a lot more than the words that could come out of her mouth in that moment. She simply pushed him down. The blade fell down and away from them, while Rachel pinned Octavian's body below her. Surprisingly, both their faces were already marked with rivers of fresh tears.
"What do you think you're doing?!" Octavian screamed at her, even though they were more closer than that.
"What do I think I'm doing?!" She repeated, as if he was insane. Some part of her thought he was at the moment, but that would be an argument for later. "I'm saving your life again. What do you think you're doing?!" She asked him back, equally screaming and scared.
"I'm making everyone a favor!"
"You were gonna to get yourself killed! That it's not a favor in any way!"
"You don't get it, do you?!" Octavian finally roared, pushing her off him, though he didn't push her that far, only not on top of him. "I'm a pawn, I'm the first thing that gets sacrifice when someone else is losing! I'm the first line of defense of a monster! I. Am. A. Monster!" He tried to explain from his point of view, but Rachel was not listening to words. She was listening to his voice. And that was an entirely different story.
"You think you're a monster?! You think you have a monster inside that will compel to whatever bull crap someone whispers at his ear?!" Rachel didn't like where this was going, but if what Octavian needed was a new fight for a reality check, she was going to give him that. "Well, that's bull crap, Octavian, and you know it! A monster would justified his actions with some story like, like, like... I don't know right now, but I don't wanna think of it! You, the fact that you're willing to sacrifice your own life to stop being control means another thing! Means you're a coward!" The pure disgust in his eyes was almost enough to make her stop. Almost.
"What- how did you call me?" His voice wasn't above a whisper, but she heard it.
"A coward. You're a person that takes the easy way out instead of the hard one, because he thinks is gonna make a favor to the rest of us... But, surprise!" She raised her voice again, her lower lip, trembling. "You're just taking a way out that will allow everyone to clean up your mess after you leave, and I for one, don't want to clean your mess, because I want you to clean your mess with you helping me!" By now, she was crying again and Octavian was staring at her, as if she was a ghost. "If this was your way to tell me you don't wanna be with me, congratulations! Even I'm not that thick to not understand the subtly of the whole thing..."
"That's not true!" He stopped her, grabbing her arms and placing her in front of him. "I wanna be with you and you know that! It's just-"
"If you wanna be with me, then prove it! Don't disappear, don't act like no one cares, don't pull stunts like this!" She finished talking, unable to hold her tears. "Just... Just hold me and don't let go..." She sobbed, burying her head on his chest. She didn't pay attention to anything else except for the arms that wrapped around her.
She just didn't want him to let her go.