Authors Note: I am SOOOO sorry for the delay in posting…it's been over a year since I posted the last chapter and other than saying writer's block, school and work all suck, there's nothing else to excuse the lack of updates…and I hate to say it, but this chapter is rather short and not exactly happy…but hopefully what gets slipped in at the end will make you a little happy…and the fact that I have already started to work on the next chapter…hopefully I've still got some readers…
It's been three days since Jenny woke up in the hospital and found out that; her body was torn up, she couldn't have pain medicine, she confessed her love to Gibbs, and worst of all, informed him that she not only had been pregnant with their child when she left him in Paris, but she had then, lost that child.
She knew he wouldn't push her right when she woke up after playing stupid, she also knew that he knew she was lying when she said she didn't remember anything. What she didn't expect to happen was for him to act like nothing had happened at all. He didn't come to see her unless he was summoned to take care of her.
After the awkwardness of the ice bath three days ago, they both thought that Ziva should try to help, her being her best female friend, but it didn't work. Ziva couldn't keep her in the water, and couldn't deal with causing Jenny the pain that came with salting and cleansing her wounds.
Abby, Tim, Tony, Ziva, Ara and Ducky would come every day and sit with her, one of them always being there, but as soon as they noticed her beginning to cringe and tighten her hold on the sheets, they would excuse themselves and call Gibbs. No matter how hard Jenny tried to prevent it and mask her pain, in the end, it always ended the same; Gibbs getting called and holding her down in an ice bath before cleansing her wounds.
If she were being a hundred percent honest with herself, it hurt like hell that he didn't come to see her until beckoned by someone to take care of her. It rivaled the physical pain, but what made the pain worse was his silence.
It was always silent save for her grunts of pain and shivering. It was common knowledge that Gibbs was a man of few words, but it had gotten to the point where she could count the number of times he had spoken in the past three days on two hands and still have fingers to spare. It was also common knowledge that he was a master of masking his emotions, so when she did see him she saw a blank faced silent man.
But when she wasn't clenching her eyes shut from the pain, she would catch glimpses of hurt and loss on his face. Of course, as soon as he caught her looking at them, those traces disappeared, but seeing them was driving her mad, seeing him in so much pain over having lost another child and knowing she was the reason for that was too much, she couldn't take it much longer.
She needed to get out of here before she lost it and truly confessed everything. All she wanted to do was apologize until nothing would come out from her mouth, and still try to say she was sorry, to ask him for forgiveness and tell him she never wanted it to happen, and for him to please give her a second chance because she couldn't imagine being happy without him.
But she wouldn't, she knew she couldn't do that, it would only wind up with both of them in more pain then they were already, and she had no right to ask him to forgive her and allow themselves a second chance after what she had done. She knew the only reason he still was seeing her at all was because he felt responsible for what happened to her.
She didn't want his pity, she wanted him to be angry with her, to yell at her for not telling him was going to be a father, for leaving him alone in Paris, for giving up on them. At the same time though, she wanted him to gather her in his arms and not let go, for him to tell her he forgave her and grant her the happy ending that should've occurred.
And THIS was precisely the reason she needed to get out of here. The end of her rope had been reached and she was hanging on with the tips of her fingers, but it was slipping from her grasp. And this was exactly why she had just exploded at Tony and Ziva demanding them to get her out of here already!
She felt guilty about yelling at the two of them, but hoped Ziva could explain what why she yelled at him without telling him of her feelings, little did she know, he already knew the main reason…and little did she know getting out of here wasn't going to help her.
After the conversation he had with Ducky, he promised himself he was going to put distance between himself and Jenny. It hurt too much to have heard she still loved him then to take it all back and continue with her plans to get married to another man.
He knew that he should take his head out of his ass, and tell her he knew everything and tell her it was fine, and that he forgave her, but he couldn't bring himself to allow that thought to gain much weight. The problem was, it was beginning to.
He stayed at the plantation unless he was called to take care of Jenny. He both dreaded and looked forward to these calls…he got to see Jenny and be with her and help her through her pain, but knew that it was all he would get. He would always start thinking that shortly, she was going to belong to another man, he would be the one who helped her, not him, he would be the one who stayed with her through a hard part, not him.
He'd get consumed with these thoughts that he hadn't realized he had let his emotions play out on his face. That is, until he would catch her looking at him with a look of sadness, devastation and pain on her own face…he was just interpreting it the wrong way, he was taking it as pity on him and pain from her wounds.
Tony had just called him with a slightly scared voice telling him she'd snapped. That she was demanding to get out of here and go home. The team hadn't voiced it, but Gibbs could tell DiNozzo was trying to find the right way to word it without his boss exploding on him. After him tripping over his words for a minute, he took pity on the man and barked for him to spill it.
'Boss, they're waiting till you get here to release her…but they're only going to do it if you promise that you'll be the one to stay and take care of her…'
Gibbs had hung up after that, taking the time of the short trip from the plantation to the hospital to mull over how he was going to handle this conversation. He knew he'd agree and follow his word, but getting both Jenny and Mark to agree, well…that'd be another obstacle, though he thought Jenny would be more willing than Mark, if nothing else then to get out of the hospital, that was one thing they definitely had in common, their hatred of hospitals.
"Get me out of here already!" Jenny yelled to the shadows she could see outside her door.
Finally! The handle was turning, it's about damn time she thought, this had been going on for twenty minutes already!
Gibbs walked through the door and her relief dissipated completely. She tried to read him, but he was doing an exceptional job masking his emotions today.
"Jen"
"Oh, now you're speaking to me!" She knew she was acting childish, but at the moment she couldn't act like an adult, she was in the middle of loosing it, and him being here was making it ten times harder for her to reign it back in.
"You haven't exactly been chatty yourself director." He bit back, trying to control himself as well.
"What do you want? I don't need another treatment at the moment so why don't you disappear again and come back when one of them calls for you, I know you don't want to be here." She said, her voice threatening to break while she felt a tear start to form in her eyes. Quickly blinking the tear away she looked out towards the window to avoid his gaze.
And there goes the mixed feelings again, he wanted to run to her and gather her in his arms and tell her he never wanted to leave her side again, however cliché the line was, but he couldn't.
"Jen, they called me because they said you were loosing it…"
"I'm not loosing it! I just don't see the reason in staying here when I can go home and have everything that's happening here, be done there!" She growled while still looking out the window.
"And who's going to perform the treatments for you?" Why does everything have to be so difficult for them!
And here she paused, she didn't think about that…she wanted out of here to stop having to deal with Gibbs…but knew no one else was going to be able to take care of her except for him, they already found out Ziva couldn't, and there was no way Mark could do it…
"Mark will do it…" Why, why can't she just make things simple and be honest for once!
"Really? You think he will be able to hold you in ice water all the while you and your body fighting it, and then properly cleanse your wounds and salt them?"
"Well YOU wont do it, so he'll have to do!" She shouted, knowing he was trying to escape from helping, but not understanding why he was arguing with her.
"Because YOU don't want me to, and because you want your fiancé to take care of you, I hate to tell you this, but you're going to be here for awhile."
"…what…?" She asked, not understanding exactly what was going on…was he trying to help her, or trying to tell her he didn't really want to help…
"What, what?" He asked confused in slight shock after blowing up slightly.
"You want to help me…?" her voice was low, but they were both starring at each other now, so the words made it to their intended destination.
'Get ahold of yourself! Put some distance! She's NOT confessing her love for you! She's asking a damn reasonable question!'
He made his way towards the door, stopping as his hand grabbed the knob, "You're hurt and it's my fault, of course I would help, no matter what you think Jenny, I don't hate you, I would take care of anyone in the family, especially the mother, you should know that by now." He said softly without turning his head before opening the door and closing it behind him.
He needed to take a minute to compose himself before talking to the doctor. He couldn't believe he'd let that slip…but when it came to Jenny, none of his plans seemed to work the way he wanted. So once again, he began to place his broken heart under her heel.
Authors Note: So? Hopefully the insanely long wait was somewhat worth it…? Next chapter should be out within two weeks I'm hoping, more hoping within a week…and it should involve some Mark as well…review if you'd like anything specific to happen and I'll see what I can do ^.^