Usual Glee disclaimer...
Thanks again a whole lot to Sole's stories for beta-reading and patiently discussing and sharing ideas!
This is one of the longest chapter I have written so far. I shortly debated with myself to cut it in half, but then decided to post it as it is. You have followed me throught all my chapters, patiently waiting for updates, giving reviews, marking this story as your favorite ... so I figures I might as well give you this one undivided :-)
Enjoy!
Chapter 38
Rachel, Quinn and Santana rummaged around the kitchen to get the table set and their contribution for the dinner ready. Shortly before the dinner guests arrived, Rachel's phone buzzed. As it lay on the kitchen counter, she did not notice it, but Santana was alerted by the sound. She waved to get Rachel's attention and then pointed to the device.
The brunette put the spoon with which she ladled the sauce over the casserole down and walked over to check the message. Her dads had sent her a text to ask if she were available on Skype so they could congratulate her.
Five minutes later she sat in Quinn's bedroom with her girlfriend's laptop and waited for her fathers to call. Soon both their faces filled the screen and Rachel almost had to laugh as both men tried to fit their heads in front of the camera.
"Hi Honey!" Hiram waved.
"Hey dad, daddy," Rachel answered and Leroy's face glowed at hearing his daughter's voice.
We want to…. Leroy started to sign, then turned to his husband asking him something. Rachel narrowed her eyes and tried to read his lips, but as his head was turned, she couldn't see what he was saying. When Hiram showed him the sign for "wish", it was clear what he had asked.
We want to wish you a happy birthday, sweetie! And both threw some kisses at the camera.
Can you feel our hugs?
Rachel tilted her head, closed her eyes and pulled up her shoulders, smiling.
Yes, I can. Feels good. Thank you! She signed back automatically, then looked at her hands.
Funny how she still preferred to use sign language with her dads when with all the other people around her she used her voice.
Did you have a good day? Hiram asked then.
She nodded. "Yes." Quinn took me to the planetarium, now we have some friends coming over for dinner, she added signing.
A text appeared next to her dad's faces. Quinn took you where? What was that sign?
Rachel slowly started to finger-spell the word P-L-A-N… then dropped her hand. "The Planetarium," she explained aloud and repeated the sign, watching her dads mimicking her movements.
Another line appeared. Quinn took you there?
It was clear that there were three million another question lying behind this one. Like, are you friends again? Why did she abandon you all those years ago? Why did she take you to the planetarium? Have you told her that you loved that as a child? If not how did she get the idea? Were other friends there as well or just the two of you?
Rachel chewed on her lower lip and debated whether to finally tell her parents about her relationship with Quinn or not. It was almost three months now. Did she really want to do it via Skype and not tell them personally? Then again, if she told them now, they would have some time to digest the news until she came home for Hanukkah. And it would not need an explanation why Quinn would probably spend so much time at her house, the blonde's relationship with her family being what it was – distant, to say the least.
But this wasn't just going to be the plain "dads, I am in a relationship again" talk. This would be the - "dads, I fell in love with a woman and since this is not shocking enough it is not just any woman but the woman who always picked on me in high school and who abandoned me four years ago and who I have been in love with for the past nine years"- talk.
Sure, easy enough, summing it up like that.
Rachel let out a long breath.
Another string of words appeared in the text box.
Ok, honey, out with it. What's wrong? You seemed kind of happy the past weeks when we talked. What happened? We feel a bit like hanging in the air. Not that we don't want to see you happy, it's just, we are wondering what or who makes you so happy.
'Well, it's not you, still having to type the most basic things,' Rachel thought and then with a bad consciousness pushed the feeling of disappointment aside.
"Ok, listen. This will probably surprise you, but….well, Quinn and I," Rachel looked at her hands as if they could explain her situation better. Then to her own surprise she felt tears stinging in her eyes.
What? Rachel, what's wrong? Did you two have a fight? The questions appeared rapidly one after the other on the screen.
Rachel waved her hands in front of her to ward of more concern. "No, no! Nothing like that. Actually, it's the other way around. Uhm," she sniffed, trying to stop the tears from falling.
Thinking about her dad's questions and how a happy day her birthday really had been, filled her heart with so much love for Quinn. Her girlfriend gave her something she had never expected to ever experience again. She felt full of joy, felt so loved and at least for some rare moments almost carefree again. This day she was able to focus on the moment and not on being deaf, like most of the time.
Seeing the worried faces of her dads, she had to laugh a little through her tears. "Daddy, dad, don't look so glum. This has been one of the best days of my life, recently. I'm not crying because I'm sad, but because I'm actually…kind of happy," she smiled.
Ok, that's good, isn't it? Hiram reassured himself signing.
Now Rachel really had to laugh. "Yes, it is good! And … Quinn is the reason why I feel like this." 'Now, spill the beans, Rachel, you have ventured too far out to paddle back again,' she encouraged herself. Taking a deep breath she felt the words rush out of her mouth, before she could swallow them.
"Quinn and I, uh, we fell in love with each other. Not just now… it was already a long time ago, but we only realized it just now. And when we met again by chance a couple of months ago, well, then it just kind of happened."
What happened? The written question as accompanied by two confused faces.
"Oh, um, that we kissed."
There, it was out. Rachel exhaled slowly.
Her dad's eyes went wide and they exchanged an astonished look. Then Hiram's fingers hit the keyboard.
So you're saying you two are together?
"Yes."
Rachel watched her dads closely. At first they did not move. For a short second Rachel thought the screen had frozen, but then the two men looked at each other and back at their daughter.
What do you mean, you fell in love a long time ago, how long ago are we talking about? Was the first and in Rachel's eyes not the most logical question that appeared on screen after breaking the news.
"Uh, about nine years…" she mumbled, knowing full well that this revelation would probably be hard to grasp.
"Nine years?" Leroy exclaimed - which was easy enough to understand by reading his lips.
Now some things fell into perspective for the two dads.
"Hmhm." Rachel simply answered, waiting if any other comment came. Then she prompted them after a moment.
"You don't have anything to say to the fact that … I'm in love with a woman?"
That seemed to wake her dads from their stasis.
"Honey, that is quite a revelation. Not that we are against it, it's just that we never thought you'd be …" Hiram's rambling was interrupted by his daughter waving her hands frantically in front of the camera.
"Dad. Dad!" Finally she had his attention. "I can't hear what you are saying. Remember? And you're talking too fast for me to read your lips."
Sorry, honey, he had the good grace to sign. Got carried away. The next comment appeared again on the screen.
Yes, it is a surprise to us that you fell in love with a woman. It's just something we never really considered, we thought you were into boys, and that was fine with us. We can relate, you know :-)
The last comment provoked a smile on Rachel's face.
Honey, it is not important whether you fall in love with a man or a woman. The most important thing is to fall in love at all. To be able to find this one true and real love. The one that makes you happy and whole. In which body it comes disguised, you never know. So if Quinn is this love for you – even though we still need to get the details on how that happened – then we are happy for you!
This is all that we wish for you, that any parents wish for their children. To see them happy. And especially after all you have gone through, we are very glad to see you happy. (If we could we'd both squeeze you in a sandwich hug now, pumpkin!
Rachel had to laugh at the last statement. For a moment she forgot her anger at her dads. This was why she loved them so much. They could be understanding, encouraging and supporting.
Another line flickered across the screen.
But nine years? Really? You were still in high school, then…
That was a fact that her dads seemed to have to chew on, it seemed.
"Yeah. I know it sounds crazy. I guess we both didn't realize it then, but we know now that we were attracted to each other already then. Even though it caused some, uh, let's say strange reactions from both of us towards each other."
Yes, you could say that. You know that we want ALL the details about this whole story when you're home, right?
"Yes, I know! You'll get them, I promise. And, if that is ok with you, I'd like Quinn to visit us, so you get to know her. She has changed a lot from the high school girl you knew, though she still feels very guilty about her behavior then."
Well, we look forward to meeting her. If you are happy and you tell us that she is treating you right, then that is word enough for us. Tell her that she is welcome in our house, Hiram typed smiling.
Rachel let out a small sigh of relief. Not that she had feared her dad's reaction, but she was nevertheless glad having told them. It was good to know that she would not have to hold back on that part of her life anymore. This would make it easier to talk to them in the future.
Thank you. That means a lot to me. To us, Rachel smiled back while signing. She was about to tell them that she had to go to prepare the dinner for her guest, when Leroy typed something else. She waited patiently until the words appeared for her to read.
Rachel, we didn't send you your present. I hope it is okay if we give it to you when we'll see you in a couple of days.
Rachel looked at the screen for a moment, not saying anything. She had not even thought about that. When she had still been living at home, she could not have received her presents early enough. Even as a teenager she had not had much patience to wait until her dads got up in the morning of her birthday. Often she woke them up what the two men felt like was in the middle of the night.
Mostly her presents had something do with music, obviously. A new microphone, a new recorder, a new camera, new sheet music, CDs, anything that had supported her growing talent. In more recent years they had usually planned a musical weekend, where they visited her in the city and went to see two or three shows or dramas on New York's stages.
Now she just felt uneasy trying to guess what her dads might have gotten her. It was not their fault that this part of her life was over, but she still felt the anger she thought she had a handle on surge up again. She couldn't stop the words before they were out of her mouth.
"You didn't have to get me anything. It would have been a nice present to have this conversation without the typing." She then added quietly: "Why can't you try to make it a little easier for me? I'm not asking to you be perfect in sign language, but I'd like to see you at least trying."
She watched as a look of guilt and hurt rushed over her father's faces. At that moment the bedroom door opened and a blonde head poked it.
Sorry for disturbing you. Can we put the casserole into the oven? Quinn wanted to know.
Rachel held up a finger to ask her to wait. Then she signed her good bye to her dads.
Have to go now, we'll have dinner guests. She paused her hands for a moment, then forced herself to add the next words. I'm sorry if my earlier comment came across a bit harsh. She threw an apologetic smile at them. Thanks for calling. I'll let you know what time we'll approximately arrive on the twenty-fourth.
She added a small wave and hardly waited until her fathers answered with their own good byes, still looking guilty and hurt. Rachel felt a bit bad of having spoiled their mood with her comment about the present, and that she had not even given them a proper chance to reply to that. But their whole inconsiderate behavior around her still stung and made it clear once more that she definitely needed to explain and discuss a lot of things with them.
On the other hand she was really relieved that they had taken the news of her and Quinn so well.
She closed the laptop and pushed it away. Quinn came in and sat on the bed, placing a hand softly on Rachel's right cheek. The brunette leaned into the touch, then turned her head and kissed her girlfriend's palm.
You ok? Quinn asked.
"Yes. I told my dads about us."
"Oh." How did they take it? You don't sound happy.
"Oh no, don't worry, they were absolutely ok with it. Came as a bit of a surprise, obviously, but all in all they took it in stride," she smiled for Quinn's benefit and to reassure her.
Why do you look so sad then? The blonde wanted to know.
Rachel shook her head wanting to shake off the whole topic, but could not quite manage it.
"Just that whole signing thing. We talked for fifteen minutes and they managed to sign five sentences. Five! And even that took them forever. It's been how long? Nine months? I just don't get it, Quinn. Really, I don't. I'm their daughter! Isn't that the least they could do for me?"
Yes it is. Quinn placed a hand shortly on Rachel's leg before she continued signing.
I think your dads still need to get to know you again, need to learn to deal with this whole situation. All of this has changed you, and it is hard for them to understand how to act around you if they don't see you every day. In fact, you haven't spent any time with them personally except for that one short visit from your dad that day when I came over, or have you?
Quinn watched Rachel's eyes darken.
"No."
I know you might not like to hear this, but try to put yourself into their shoes for a moment.
Rachel rolled her eyes a bit, but let her girlfriend continue.
Your dads just know their former life with you, when they had you living with them for almost eighteen years. Even when you moved to New York, you still were close.
Rachel cast her eyes down and fiddled with the blanket for a moment, before she concentrated back on her girlfriend.
Now they have no idea how you deal with all this. They don't know half of the things you have accomplished these past months. They didn't see how you moved forward. Your dads are still stuck at the point where you sent them back home to Lima. They are missing half a year of your life, Rachel.
Rachel bit her lips. There was some truth in Quinn's words.
"But you learned signing so quickly," she muttered under her breath.
Yes, Rachel, because I spend every day with you, Quinn smiled. I experience so many things with you. This makes it so much easier for me to understand, learn and adapt. Your dads don't have that advantage. They just see you once in a while via Skype. And even then you don't really told them much about you.
Rachel turned her head and looked away. Then she felt Quinn's gentle hand on her chin, coaxing her to focus back on her.
Maybe you should reach out to them and bring them up to speed. This might also change their attitude. Because they would not see sign language as something that holds you back, but as a tool that helps you interact so much more.
Then Quinn made a bold suggestion. Maybe we should invite them to visit us here after the holidays. Then they can see you how you interact with all your friends and how your life has changed so far.
The "yes" came very quietly over Rachel's lips. Quinn watched the emotions race across her girlfriend's features and gave her the time she needed to collect herself. She laid a reassuring hand on the brunette's knee.
Even though Rachel had indeed started to enjoy doing things with her friends again, she knew that she still had a long way to go to fully come to terms with her situation, if ever.
This accident had been so senseless and the man who caused it got away without many injuries. Why did she have to pay such a high price for some guy's carelessness? She had tried to not dwell on these thoughts, but they were still there. She had pushed them away, telling herself that there was nothing she could do about it anyway. Apparently, not dealing with these thoughts and feelings caused some part in her to react with this resentment towards her dads.
In a way her two fathers and their awkwardness around her stood as a representative of all she had lost. Hiram and Leroy had been her greatest supporters when it came to fulfilling her dreams and her career, they were the closest people she had in her life. Losing her dream had led to losing the connection with her parents as well in a way. They just felt as lost as she did.
She was not fair to her dads, Quinn was right. But life was not fair to her either.
It has just been nine months and learning to accept and to live with such a disability was anything but easy. It was a daily trial to be surrounded by so many hearing people if you were the only one who was deaf. The fact that most of them were also living the life Rachel still longed for so much was another challenge.
Since her friends were honestly trying so hard to help her, she could not really let out her anger at them. So her dads' insensitivity served as the trigger to vent some of it towards them. Just to give it all a face, something or someone tangible she could lash out at, even though nothing of this was their fault.
Quinn could not read Rachel's exact thoughts, but she had her own feeling about the reason why she reacted so harshly at her dads. The blonde did not know it, but her intuition told her almost the same of what Rachel had just found out herself.
After letting her girlfriend mull over her own thoughts for a moment longer, Quinn figured Rachel had pondered enough over this topic. They still had time to discuss this over the next days, her birthday was not the right time to get her spirits down. For now a distraction was in order.
Come, on, sweetie! I'm sure it will help the whole situation when we talk to your dads when we're home for the holidays. Ok?
Rachel nodded and Quinn placed a kiss on her soft lips. Now, put that smile back on your face and let's enjoy the rest of your birthday. The blonde got up and tugged at Rachel's hand. Come on!
The reassuring gesture brought indeed a smile back on the brunette's features and she let herself be pulled out of the room.
They finished preparing the dinner and shortly after that Kurt and Blaine already arrived. Blaine seemed a little more comfortable this time addressing Rachel. He had brought a notepad where he had already written something down.
Happy birthday, Rachel! I hope you had a nice day and I hope you like our "sound machine" :-). Santana asked us if it was ok to already give it to you without us. We figured you had some time today to enjoy it.
Rachel smiled at him "Yes, thank you. I loved it. It was a very nice present."
Then she was enveloped in a bear hug by Kurt who swirled her in a circle a couple of times which made Rachel squeal in surprise. She had to hold on to his arm as he put her down again, because she had gotten a little dizzy.
Sorry, didn't want to make you fall. Happy birthday, girl! Kurt grinned while signing.
"I'm fine, don't worry. Thank you, too, for my present. We tested it already. It feels sooooo good," she then laughed.
Quinn came over and hugged her girlfriend from behind, saying "I got to try it on her the whole afternoon." The blonde stretched her arms forward so that her hands rested in front of Rachel's chest and signed the phrase again for her.
"Hm, yeah. That was really nice," Rachel sighed and leaned her head back against Quinn's shoulder.
Kurt clapped his hands together. "Enough of the lovy-dovy stuff, you have some hungry guests standing here," he then joked.
Rachel chuckled. "Sorry, why don't you give me your salad, thanks for bringing that by the way!" She lifted the bowl out of Blaine's hands. "Take a seat, we'll get you something to drink. Food will be ready soon. We just have to wait for Jenna."
"Sounds good."
Rachel turned towards the kitchen to deposit the salad on the counter.
Santana just came around the corner of her room, her mobile in her hand. "Guess we can already start, Jenna is still at rehearsals. She'll meet us later at the club." Santana sounded a little disappointed, her head still bent over the phone.
Rachel saw Quinn saying something in answer to Santana's comment. She did not know what the Latina had said, because no one had interpreted it for her and she was not facing Santana. And she still had a hard time asking, because it made it so obvious that she was left out. But not asking also meant that she would stay out of the loop. Rachel felt her spirit drop a degree. She did not want that and she knew that her friends did not leave her out deliberately. Things like that just happened.
It still stung.
Busying herself, she checked the food in the oven and found it to be ready. Pulling the hot form out, she then placed it on top of the stove. Looking around, she found the coaster and placed it on the table.
Rachel felt her phone buzz in her pocket and pulled it out. It was a message from Jenna, telling her that she would not be able to join them for dinner, because of prolonged rehearsals. She wished her a happy birthday and would try to make it up to her. She felt bad for canceling at such short notice.
"Oh." Rachel looked up and found Quinn's eyes on her. "Jenna is not coming, she is stuck at the theater," Rachel explained a little disappointed.
Quinn and Santana exchanged a quick look. Rachel followed the silent exchange. "What?" she then asked quietly.
The blonde quickly explained with her hands. Sorry. Jenna has also already sent a message to Santana. Santana just told us.
"Oh."Rachel nodded and added after a moment of awkward silence: "Let's eat then." She picked up the casserole to bring it over to the table.
Quinn walked around the counter into the kitchen and held her by the arm. Rachel, I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you what Santana had said.
Her hazel eyes were sincere.
The brunette shrugged. "It's ok. I can't or rather I shouldn't get upset about every little thing I don't get." She looked at the troubled hazel eyes in front of her. "Let's sit down." Rachel added softly.
No it's not ok. Not after what happened with your dads.
"Quinn, really. I meant it. Let it go. I'm fine." Rachel implored.
Quinn glanced at the brown eyes that told her with a stern look to drop the subject.
Okay.
Rachel really did not want to give it too much thought, but it still bugged her, despite what she had told Quinn. It was one thing missing unimportant stuff, but when it came to something that concerned her she wanted to know about it. She felt stupid telling people something that they already knew, because they had discussed a moment before.
They sat down and dug into the food. While munching, her friends asked Rachel what she had done for the day. After reassuring herself with a little smile and a look at her girlfriend that Quinn had not told them before, Rachel described her afternoon at the planetarium and her experience with the brass bowl.
The blonde squeezed her girlfriend's hand under the table in another apology. Rachel squeezed back and smiled at her. "It's fine, I'll live," she whispered in Quinn's direction and chuckled a bit.
I'm glad, 'cause I want you around a little longer, Quinn joked.
"Guess that can be arranged!" Rachel quickly pecked a small kiss on her lover's cheek and then focused back on her food.
Kurt and Quinn were interpreting again their conversations, only this time Santana tried to bring her share of signs into the conversation. That helped Rachel to forget the awkward moment from before. Santana was really trying and even though Blaine still appeared a little nervous around her, he seemed not nearly as uncomfortable as before. Finally, Rachel managed to relax again and started to enjoy the dinner. It was especially funny watching Santana sign, because true to herself she tried to weave in as many swear words as possible whenever appropriate and Santana-slang would require it.
"Santana, it's really unbelievable, but I think you know more curse words in sign language than normal ones. I don't even have the faintest idea what that last sign was supposed to mean. And I'm not sure I want to know," Rachel laughed at one point during the conversation.
It was really incredible how the Latina managed even while signing to stick to her own personal style. Any other deaf person would probably have been either totally confused or deadly offended by her signing, but knowing the tall, dark haired woman for so long, Rachel loved every second of it. It also meant that she would be able to experience some of the Latina's unique way of expressing herself.
"Berry, can't have you becoming a total wuss now just because you can't hear my lovely Lima Height's speaking anymore. Someone needs to keep you educated!"
The Latina exclaimed and leaned on Quinn to get the correct signs for some words as Santana's ASL vocabulary reached its limit.
"Good Lord," Kurt rolled his eyes and moved his hands. "Sometimes I wish I were deaf when I hear you speak that ear drum insulting, grammatically toe-nail-curling English of yours," he told Santana and then turned to Rachel. "Sorry, bad joke, guess I shouldn't have said that!"
Rachel laughed. "You know, I have the advantage of just having to close my eyes and then I have no idea anymore what she's saying. Or signing." And she waved a dismissive hand in the Latina's direction.
"Lucky you!" Blaine threw in and Rachel read the words from his lips.
"Yeah, I know," she answered, looking very sincere as if she meant it, while Quinn had to bite her tongue to not laugh out loud at the light banter between her friends.
"Now who is rude here?" The Santana exclaimed. "Should you talk about a person if she is sitting right in front of you? Hello? Q, I'm appalled at the lack of table manners here."
"Yeah, me too," the blonde added after interpreting her friend's words, adding the explanation that Santana had uttered the last sentence in a perfectly mimicked British accent. Apparently she had picked that up from one of her clients.
"Gag me!" Rachel threw out and then started laughing, because she could not imagine the Latina speaking with that particular intonation. Not. At. All. Then she looked at Santana. "Seriously? A British accent?" And she kept on laughing. "Sorry, that's beyond me."
Her comment earned her a poke with the elbow from Santana who also started laughing. Then in a very rare and spontaneous moment, the Latina looped her arm around the petite woman who sat next to her and gave her a hug.
"Love you, too, Santana," Rachel mumbled under her breath, grinning a little, which prompted Quinn to state warningly:
"Hands off, San, that lovely lady is taken!" But the smile on her face betrayed her seriousness.
"Giiiiirls," Kurt threw in, using his hands in parallel. "Behave. No biting, scratching or screeching! But I'd be ready for some dessert! Do we have any?" He looked around the table.
Rachel jumped up. "Yup, we do. Quinn baked a marvelous lemon cake, which I oh so generously will share with you!"
Quinn got up as well and told her girlfriend laughing: Sit down, I'll get it.
Santana also stood up to help Quinn and Kurt used this moment to turn towards Rachel to ask her if she had told her girlfriend about her singing experience.
Rachel shook her head and answered signing, because she did not want to be overheard by Quinn.
No. Yes. Actually I did tell her about it. On the same evening, but Quinn was already half asleep and didn't remember the next day. I didn't have the courage to tell her a second time.
Why not?
Because I don't think I can repeat it and I just don't want to disappoint her for not having sung for her.
Do you think she would want you to sing for her?
"I don't know. No. I don't think she would ask me to sing for her." Too late she realized that she had said that aloud, just when Santana placed the first plates with the dessert on the table.
"What do I hear about singing?"
"Nothing," Kurt answered after he had interpreted Santana's question. Rachel shook her head, indicating that she did not want to talk about it, though she knew that Santana would not let the topic slide by the look the taller woman gave her. The brunette was just grateful that the Latina held her tongue when Quinn approached with the rest of the sweet dishes.
… … …
After they finished eating and had polished their plates, everyone jumped up as if on a secret signal and started cleaning up. When Rachel also wanted to help, Quinn held her back. The blonde pushed her girlfriend back into her seat and sat across her lap, facing the petit woman.
No, let them do it. You need to rest, she signed with a smirk.
"Rest? What for? And why is everyone so busy all of a sudden?" She looked around. "What is going on here, Quinn?"
Okay, remember that day when you came home and found me and Santana in the kitchen in a kind of conspiracy? Quinn waited until she saw Rachel nod.
You were right that day. We were up to something. Because we have planned your birthday. Or at least the evening.
"Oh. Was that the secret you also wanted to tell me?"
Yes. Quinn quickly captured the soft lips in front of her in a sweet kiss.
"So, where are we going?" Rachel asked tentatively, her eyes still on her busy friends in the kitchen. They were having some kind of fun conversation because they were all laughing a lot. Rachel frowned and looked back at her girlfriend. "Didn't know that cleaning the kitchen could be so much fun," she murmured.
Do you want to know what they are talking about? Quinn asked.
Rachel shook her head, but inwardly shouted yes. It was one thing to have an interpretation within a conversation she was actively involved, but it was still hard getting used to missing a lot of things going on around her that she normally would have registered.
Her day had been so happy and nice; Rachel did not want her spirits damped now by the same old regret. She took a deep breath and put on a brave smile pushing the gloomy thoughts away.
"Milady, if you still want me to go anywhere tonight, I think you have to lift your graceful body off my legs. They are getting a bit numb."
Am I too heavy for you or what? Quinn retorted with a crocked grin.
Rachel nodded shamelessly. Upon seeing Quinn's funny expression, she had to laugh.
"Ha, this is just my small revenge for you wanting to weigh me after our first night together, Miss Fabray!"
Words fail me, Miss Berry, regarding your vengeful attitude, Quinn sniffed in mock hurt. And I always thought you were a forgiving person.
"Well, time to show you the real me", Rachel quipped, earning herself a nip at her lower lip. "Ouch! So, where are we going and what do I need to wear? Is that good?" She brushed her hands along her clothes.
Quinn stood. Yes, you look perfect for the occasion!
Rachel was wearing a white tunica blouse with the front tugged into the hem of her tight blue jeans. Her jeans legs were stuffed into her black boots. A dark gray and white cotton scarf with a stripe pattern was wrapped loosely around her neck and complemented the outfit.
... ... ...
As soon as everything was cleaned and stowed away, the friends got their jackets and headed out the door, a curious and slightly nervous Rachel amongst their midst.
They were able to walk the couple of blocks from Quinn's apartment to their destination. Rachel stopped once and again to look at the snowflakes falling against the light of the street lamps.
"Quinn, tomorrow we have to go for a walk in the park, please, we just have to!"
Sure, as soon as you will come back to the land of the living, the blond answered grinning.
"Where the hell are you taking me and what the hell will you do to me once we are there?" Rachel's eyes grew big.
Don't worry; remember I told you to hold onto that feeling this afternoon? Santana jumped in.
"Yeah."
The brunette nodded and watched the Latina make some funky dance moves on the sidewalk, mouthing the word paaaaaaaarty.
Now it clicked. "Really? You're taking me to a club?"
Rachel stopped on the sidewalk, looking at her friends who had turned around. Her eyes roamed their faces, while waiting for anyone to answer her question.
Yes. But it's not any club, Santana signed slowly.
It's the Perfect Beat Club, Quinn explained, finger-spelling the name.
Then Kurt took over. And believe me; you will know why it's called like that. It's really intense from what I heard!
For a short moment, Rachel debated turning around and heading home. Did she want to go to a club where she would have to watch people dance to music she could not hear?
Then another thought formed itself in her head. Everything her friends had planned or done so far, had always been in her interest. Besides the small lapses in forgetting to interpret, nothing hinted at them dragging her to a place where she would not enjoy herself at least a little. Especially not today.
"Ok, fine," she conceded and watched Quinn and Santana exchange a short and relieved glance.
Rachel looked at Quinn, remembering their earlier conversation. As if Quinn had read her silent thoughts, she nodded slightly. Then the former Cheerio captain took her girlfriend's hand and pressed it shortly, saying I remember our conversation as well. We'll take it at your speed without as many words or signs.
Two blocks further down, they took a left turn and soon stood in the waiting line in front of the club. Luckily the snowfall had lessened a bit; still, it was cold standing outside for a while. The closer they got to the entrance, the more Rachel understood where the name came from.
Rachel was not sure about the perfect, but the beat was definitely there. At first it was only a faint little thrumming, but as soon as they deposited their coats and walked into the section with the main dance floor, she felt every fiber in her body shake.
"Jesus!" Was all she managed to gasp. Now she knew what Santana had referred to with her remark earlier that day. This here was ten times as intense as Rachel's experience with the headphones. Everything seemed to vibrate. Even the fabric of her blouse seemed to move with the rhythm. Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed that her friends and Quinn sensibly used some earplugs. All of them except for Santana, which was not really a surprise.
If this was as loud as it felt, then even Rachel considered using earplugs. Should she ever hope to regain her hearing someday, she did not want to learn that she further damaged a good percentage of it due to being exposed to extremely loud music. Something she also had not considered in the morning. Then again, this would just be ridiculous.
Not even bothering to speak, Rachel tapped on the taller woman's arm and started signing.
Want to become deaf? And with a questioning expression she mimicked stuffing her finger into her ears, to ask why she did not use any protection.
Santana shook her head. You know me. It's either all or nothing, she signed and smiled.
Rachel felt someone hug her from behind and a blonde head propped itself on her shoulder. The brunette turned slightly and saw Quinn grinning at her. The little group had positioned itself against a wall, with a little distance towards the dance floor. They all stood observing the crowd, getting some orientation. Kurt and Blaine had not been there before, Quinn just once, but Santana seemed to know the club. And some of its visitors. Upon entering she had greeted already two people she knew and just standing there for a couple of minutes had her nod and wave at several others. Rachel raised an eyebrow and looked at Quinn.
It's impossible to not know Santana. I guess through her job she also got to meet quite a few people. And let's not forget, she lived with her aunt for quite a while here in the city…I'm sure she got around. Quinn smirked.
"Oh yeah. Right," Rachel answered and Quinn could hardly hear her words. Between the earplugs and the still audible music it was hard to carry a conversation. She closely had to watch Rachel's lips which from her angle was not very easy.
After they had observed the crowd for a while, Rachel paid a bit more attention to the rhythm. She had noticed that it had changed several times and there were different kind of beats. Some she felt reverberate through her whole body, some only seemed to bounce off her skin. She noticed how her foot started slightly to move with the tact.
It was funny watching people dance. With some the movements did not seem to fit the rhythm she felt. Probably they were moving to the melody of the song instead.
"What's playing?" She half screamed into her girlfriend's ear.
Radioactive from Imagine Dragons. Quinn answered after Rachel had to repeat her question a second time.
"Oh cool!" Rachel turned back to observing the crowd and Quinn noticed her move ever so slightly with whatever rhythm she felt.
"Wanna dance?" Quinn asked as she slunk around Rachel, holding out a hand, bowing a little.
Rachel grinned a little at the display of gallantry. "I don't know, I feel kind of weird." She answered somewhat shyly.
Quinn tugged at her hand. "Come on." Then she signed: I don't hear much more than you do.
Why?
Grabbed the wrong ear plugs. These are not the normal ones that Kurt and Blaine have. These are the ones I wore the first time you came to dinner.
Rachel snorted and let out a short laughter.
But as good as they are, even they cannot drown out the music completely. This is crazy how loud this is. But it feels interesting, doesn't it?
Rachel nodded. She saw some strange loudspeakers hanging below the ceiling of the room. She pointed at them.
"These are weird."
Quinn followed Rachel's finger with her eyes and noticed what she meant.
A friend of mine explained to me that these are some kind of special subwoofers that enhance the sound and beat even more. That is why you feel it so intensely.
"Cool."
Then Rachel watched Quinn telling their friends that they would move towards the dance floor. Kurt and Blaine decided to stay and Santana made a sign that she would circle the grounds.
Rachel felt Quinn apply a slight pressure to her back, pushing her gently towards the dancing crowd. Reluctantly, the brunette gave in. She had no idea how she was supposed to dance. And she felt weird being exposed. Then again, no one here knew that she could not hear the music and it was quite full, so they would disappear in the mass of bodies.
When they found a small spot on the dance floor that was not occupied, Rachel let out a long breath. Her eyes locked with Quinn's and the blonde placed her hands on her girlfriend's hips, pulling her a bit closer.
"I'm not sure that this is a song that requires slow romantic dancing," Rachel stated.
Quinn shook her head and shrugged, indicating that she had not understood what Rachel had said. The brunette repeated her comment using her hands. She saw the blonde smile and mouth don't care, pulling her close again.
Rachel tried to relax a bit and adjusted her position slightly so she could feel Quinn's body move against hers. After a moment she managed to match the blonde's movements and noticed that their dancing also fit into the rhythm she felt in her body. This was quite nice, actually.
The longer they danced, the more the brunette felt her pulse quicken and a slow smile appeared on her face. She concentrated on the beat and started to grind her hips against Quinn's with a slowly increasing pressure. Their eyes locked and their bodies shifted in unison. Becoming bolder Rachel slipped her thigh between the blonde's legs, never ceasing her own rhythmical movements. Rachel watched Quinn's eyes widen in surprise and a gasp escaped the blonde's lips. Then her girlfriend's eyes slowly began to cloud with desire.
It was easy to forget the people around them in their silent or almost silent bubble. A quick glance around assured Rachel that indeed no one paid them much attention. She focused back on the beauty in front of her who had a hard time to contain her breathing, judging by the rapid ups and downs of Quinn's chest.
Rachel could not contain the chuckle that bubbled up from her stomach.
She raised a questioning eyebrow and threw a challenging look at Quinn, as if asking if she could take any more.
Quinn licked her lips and seeing the pink end of her tongue, Rachel did not even try to fight the urge to kiss her lover. She captured the blonde's lips with her own and let her tongue beg for entry. The former Cheerio was more than willing to grant access. They shared a very passionate and heated kiss, somehow enhanced by the pulse and vibrations that was rushing through their veins.
Rachel lamented immensely that she had to pull back to gasp for air. Seeing Quinn's eyes dark with arousal, she felt it very hard to not drag her lover into the next dark corner to claim her right then and there. Becoming a bit more aware of their surroundings again, Rachel also noticed that her throat had become very dry. Just as she wanted to ask Quinn if they could get something to drink, Quinn asked her what she wanted with her hands.
"Um, a water would be good." Rachel then answered. To make sure, Quinn understood, she added the sign for water in sign language.
Just water? Come on, we are celebrating.
Maybe later I'll have another drink, right now I'm just thirsty.
Ok.
Quinn turned and pulled Rachel with her through the throng of people. They passed a dais of some sort where people could sit down.
Want to wait here? I'll come right back with our drinks.
Rachel nodded and slid up on the raised wooden structure. With a small kiss she sent her girlfriend on her mission.
Sitting a little elevated gave the brunette quite a good vantage point to observe the crowd. She found Santana in the middle of a discussion with another woman. Apparently, the Latina had felt the eyes on her as she looked up and found Rachel across the room. She waved shortly and indicated that she would see her in a moment.
Kurt and Blaine were not at their original base anymore. Probably, they had decided to walk around a bit or they were dancing.
For now, Rachel was glad to have a moment to herself, taking stock of her feelings.
She had to smile a bit thinking about her friends and lover and how they had managed to coax her out of her four walls that she had so thoroughly erected after her accident. She would have never thought that within short of a year she would find herself watching a musical and go to a club dancing and actually enjoying herself despite the circumstances. Sure, it would never be the same, but it was still as best as it could get, she felt.
Rachel let out a small chuckle. Sometimes life was really funny in its own way.
She sat on the wooden surface and contently continued to watch the crowd in front of her. The vibrations pulsed through her body and she was comfortable just watching for a while. In one corner on the opposite side of the room she saw two women chatting animatedly. Before she could check what intrigued her about them, the crowd shifted and they were hidden behind a mass of bodies. A moment later she threw another glimpse at them and was surprised to realize what had caught her attention.
Rachel observed them a moment longer, before one of the women noticed that they were being watched. The taller one with dark, short hair looked over and caught Rachel's eyes. Identifying her as the source of the blatant stares, she turned and started to weave her way through the crowed towards her. The other woman who was a bit smaller and had reddish blond, shoulder length, wavy hair following behind.
Rachel felt a little uneasy as she noticed them approaching her. She never liked to be stared at and she could understand that those two apparently felt the same. However, she had not counted on them to be so offended.
Thank you KUZ Mainz, Germany, for your Perfect-Beat-Party-Wednesdays! You rock!