Before I Knew
37. Hurt
Dean laid awake hours later, his mind filled with worried thoughts. He heard Seamus begin to toss and turn on his mattress and knew that his friend must've woken up and not been able to fall asleep.
"Shay?" he whispered.
Seamus stopped moving but didn't respond.
"Shay, you know Harry didn't mean the stuff he said. You know how he gets when he's angry."
"He meant it," Seamus said so quietly Dean almost didn't hear him.
"You can't think – "
"And even if he didn't, I did. I meant every word."
Dean moved to get out of the bed and go over to him. He pushed his curtains aside when Seamus spoke again.
"Stay in yer bed, Dean," he muttered. "I don't want to talk to ye."
Dean froze. He ignored the hurt feeling that flooded through his body and moved his curtains back into place. He pursed his lips and took a deep breath, laying back down.
"Alright, okay, that's…that's fine," he said, as if trying to convince himself rather than Seamus. "We'll just…we'll just talk in the morning, right Shay?"
But Seamus didn't respond, and Dean got the feeling that they weren't going to.
He was right. The next morning, Seamus dressed and left the dormitory in the amount of time it took Dean to stretch and get out of bed.
"Does he think he'll turn into a nutter if he stays in a room with me too long?" Harry asked as Seamus disappeared through the door, his voice loud enough so Seamus would hear.
"Don't worry about it, Harry," Dean said quietly. "He's just…" He trailed off, unsure of how to explain it. How could he explain it to Harry, who didn't know Seamus half as well as Dean did, if Dean himself didn't understand?
He shook his head in frustration and left the dormitory.