My notes: Hey, All! Hope you like the previous chapter. I'm not going to tell you what is all about here. I'm not in the cheer mood and I'm not in the mood at all! Wonder why? If you're HALO fan you'll understand me. We still hope though! Hope... This was really strange chapter to write. I still don't know how I feel and I'm a mess at the moment, but I hope this one turned to be good. It's little strange, but at the same time angst. Peter is my way to free my self from that bad feeling. I put my feelings in him. The sad and angst note, I mean.

Read and review people!...

Chapter 37 Finding Future Me

Petrelli Beach House, NY

'So… that's Peter?' Peter heard one unknown woman's voice and put his all will to turn around and see her. He still felt dizziness from the drugs and was awake because of Claire. Hell, he even had walked to her room.

'I am, and you are…?' If he had to be fair, he didn't even care who that woman was. The only one who he cared about at that moment was Claire.

'I'm Sandra Bennet. Claire's mother…'

'Nice to meet you…' he turned his head back at Claire. Maybe it was rude, but he didn't care at the moment. He didn't have enough power to care about something or somebody else.

She was lying calmly now, still curled up in two, squeezing his hand. It was like she was afraid to let him go.

'I so wish I could help you…' he whispered and leaned to kiss her forehead.

Mohinder pulled out her IV and now everybody just had to wait.

'I… am cold!' Claire started to shaken.

'Let me put another blanket…' Sandra rushed to the bed, but she had stopped from Angela. She nodded at the bed.

Under the unbelievable look of Sandra, Peter stood up from the ground. It took him little more time, because he still wasn't in shape, but he succeeded. Then he sat on the bed and took Claire in his arm, covered in her blanket. He leaned at the headboard, holding her in is arms.

'Better?' he whispered and Claire snuggled close to him, seeking warmth.

Sandra didn't say anything. She just watched them. She knew about Peter. He was he reason for Claire to become the most reckless person just few months ago. She had grieved for him and that had leaded her to some not so good choices. Sandra knew that he was her uncle, that's why, she couldn't understand. Just now, she could. Claire was in love with Peter. She needed him. Needed him desperately. Sandra frowned. That was wrong, really wrong… And Claire got married with him… and they expected a baby? Well, if that baby survived anyway. She couldn't stop the thought of what Noah think about that. He was missing since two weeks, but Sandra didn't worry. She knew her husband.

'You are better… than any… blanket! I… told you!' Sandra heard Claire's whisper and her look turned back on them.

'Are you feeling pain?' Peter said and fixed one curl behind her ear. Claire flinched and frowned a little.

'Just a little… in my back…' her head rested infirmly on his shoulder and her hands were wrapping her belly. She had scared. Peter could feel that. His arms held her tightly and he could feel her shiver from time to time.

'It's okay… It's all right…' Peter cradled her as a baby.

Angela looked at them and strangely, but felt tears in her eyes. Her son, her little boy was all right now. He had a reason to live. She swore to make sure that he never falls in that big whole again. Today, she had understood that Peter hadn't changed too much. He still was weak and fragile inside. You didn't know what could push him into that direction, but still… Now, he had a reason to live.

Sandra also looked the both figures in the bed. She saw how her daughter snuggled in Peter. She saw the loving care of his hands over her. Uncle? Niece? She never would've thought that. Since from the beginning, when Claire had decided to tell her about her experience in the Homecoming, she had described Peter as a great, noble man. Sandra had smiled, recognizing the first signs of the love in Claire's words. He was her hero, her knight in white and shining armor. Mostly her hero! Now Sandra could see that. She saw that Peter wasn't good. She didn't understand why, but she saw his insecure steps to the bed, his pale face and she knew that he wasn't in good shape. Although, Sandra saw his look when his eyes had dropped on Claire. She could swear that Peter had forgotten about his weakness in that second. His only care was Claire. Only her.

'I feel tired…' Claire whispered after awhile, but everybody could hear her in the quiet room.

'Okay, you can sleep then. Just tell me, is there any pain first!' Peter leaned his head to hear her answer. He felt tired also, but she was more important now.

'I… don't know.' Claire sounded sleepily. 'But I feel tired… I need to sleep…'

'Claire, baby, we need to know!'

Then she smiled.

'You called me 'baby'! You never did that before…'

'You smiled…' Peter said and nodded at Mohinder. That was a sign that everything is good. 'So… you okay?'

'I guess… Don't go away!' she said sleepily.

'I won't…' he said and held her even more tightly.

Everybody leaved the room just then. Peter lay on the bed with Claire in his embrace. He felt her fell asleep, and he felt tired also. Except that, he couldn't close his eyes. His thoughts flown back in the time. His body froze. Peter still thought that Claire had been better without him in her life. He brought her only mess and disaster. His heart beaten faster and he felt ache deep inside of him. He couldn't leave her now. She and the baby needed him and Peter wasn't that kind of a guy, who would leave his family. But that didn't stop the pain. Didn't stop the blind sorrow inside of him. He had to fight with the will of just letting go and disappear. Claire needed him and he would do anything for her. Even to die…

Claire started to feel better on the next morning. She felt how the strength was coming back to her. She felt that her baby was all right and that was a good feeling. She even felt Peter beside her on the bed. His hand was wrapping over her waist and he still was sleeping. Claire stood still just to watch him sleep. Just that. He was here, beside her and that was enough. He was alive and that was enough. Then he opened his eyes and she felt that something was change.

'Good morning!' Claire said and tried to smile.

'Good morning!' Peter smiled at her, but she knew that this was forced smile. She knew when he was lying. Now he does. That smile didn't reach his eyes. She saw something there that scared her. Regret and… retreat?

'Peter, what's going on?' Claire frowned. He avoided her eyes.

'Noting. Everything is fine…' even his voice sounded distracted.

'Peter…'

'Calm down!' he said and slipped from the bed and she suddenly felt coldness. Claire shivered. She saw him disappear in the bathroom and frowned. Her look dropped on her wedding ring. The emerald shined under the winter sun. Claire sat on the bed, wrapping herself with the blanket. She heard the sound of the shower and the silence after that.

Peter went out from the bathroom couple of minutes after that. His head was still wet and he had just one towel over his tights. Claire was watching him as he went to the wardrobe and dress up in one black shirt and pants. She saw that there wasn't any sign of his wound and understood that he was fully recovered. Still, he was strangely quiet this morning.

'Are you mad at me or something?' Claire finally asked. He just started to dry his hair with the towel.

'What?' Peter threw her just one look. 'No. Why?'

'I'm just… asking.' Claire leaned her head.

'Okay…' was his only answer and he continued with drying.

Claire raised her hand and started to look around her finger with the wedding ring on it. She didn't know why, but felt one knot in her throat. Peter was so distracted this morning. There was noting left from last night. No warmth. Just distance…

'I'm going down for some breakfast. Want something?' He said and looked at her, but it was like he didn't even notice her feelings.

'What you decide…' she said barely.

'Okay. I'll get you something.' He said and closed the door behind him.

Claire burst into tears. She wrapped his legs and leaned her head on her knees. Her whole body trembled. That's how Angela found her. She had seen Peter's strange behaviour this morning and decided to go upstairs and see Claire.

'Claire…' Angela rushed to her bed and wrapped her hands over the crying woman. 'What happened?'

'Peter…' Claire sobbed and she couldn't stop her tears.

'What Peter?'

'He is… different…' Claire sobbed. 'He doesn't love me anymore! Why he doesn't love me?'

'Oh my God! Claire, don't talk like that!' Angela rubbed her back calmingly, but Claire still sobbed. 'Of course he loves you!'

'He didn't even look at me this morning!' Claire lifted her head to look at Angela. Her eyes were sore from the crying. 'He is… changed!'

Angela took a deep breath. Clearly, she was right about Peter. Her son didn't change so much.

'Claire he… He tried to commit suicide yesterday. He almost succeeds.'

'What?' Claire's eyes widened.

'That was his third attempt.' Angela looked at her hands. She didn't want to talk about this, especially with Claire, but Peter's wife needed to know.

'He had done that before? Why?' Claire sat back on the bed.

Angela shrugged.

'Because… That's Peter I guess… I never was able to understand him. But his soul… His soul is too soft. He is weak and fragile inside, Claire.'

'Why…? Why he tried to kill himself yesterday?'

Angela avoided her eyes and looked outside of the window.

'He blamed himself for you. He thought that you would be better without him.'

'No!' Claire slipped her hands t her throat. 'Who save him? Who did it?'

'Nathan…'

'Nathan?'

Angela nodded.

'Apparently, Peter went there with the clear mind to be killed from his brother. Nathan refused and the Peter went to his old room and took some pills. Luckily, Nathan found him just in time…'

Her story was cut from the opening door. It was Peter, who held one tray with Claire's breakfast. He didn't smile. Just nodded at his mother and carefully put the try on Claire's legs.

'I put one cup of butter too.' He said and stood still some time. Claire searched for his eyes, but she saw the same distant look like before.

'Thank you.' She said softly and gulped painfully, fighting with the tears.

'Okay. Now I have to make a few phone calls to see how the works going with the transfers…'

'Why don't you stay with your wife for a little while?' Angela had narrowed her eyes.

Peter didn't even look at her as he walked to the door.

'I'll be back soon!'

'You so look like your father now!' Angela's voice froze him. Peter turned around and measured her with narrowed eyes. Angela flinched. Now, this one was just a copy at her future son. The absent of feeling, narrowed eyes and cold attitude. Just like him.

'I have nothing in common with my father!' he said through clenched teeth and Angela flinched again.

'Yes! You do!' she stood up from the bed and walked to her son.

'Mother!' his voice was low. Dangerously low. God! Even his voice…

'You're becoming the same cold blood monster as him!' she stood just in front of him.

Peter leaned his head at one side.

'I'm not a monster!'

'You are becoming one! I saw you!' Angela pointed at Claire. 'You didn't even look at her! She is your wife! She is pregnant and scared and in tears and you didn't even look at her!'

'That is not of your business!'

'Becoming mine now! Look at yourself, Peter! What are you doing?' she grabbed his arms, but he pulled back quickly.

'What I'm doing with my wife it's not your business!'

Both of Angela and Claire flinched at his words. His voice was so cold and he didn't act like himself.

'Peter…' Claire said with plea in her voice. She didn't recognize herself. Since when she got scared from him?

'What?' Peter snapped and that made her flinch again. He looked at her frowning. 'You too? There is nothing wrong with me!'

'Good!' Angela had seen the scare in Claire's eyes. 'Arthur would be so proud of you!'

'Stop it mother!' Peter took back his attention to her.

'No! You stop! Start acting as a man not as a tyrant! Look at her! You scared her!'

Peter didn't do that.

'You know… I loved your father! I really did! He was the love of my life! My life! He was just like you, kind and carrying man… But he changed at some point along the way. He became cold and… distant! But he made me to forget that every time!'

'Mother, for last time…' his eyes warned her.

'When I finally realized and opened my eyes for the true, I wanted to kill him!'

Peter couldn't help, but to look at Claire. She still looked at him with confusion and… pain in her eyes. He remembered…

'You took everything from me!' the gun pointed at him. Eyes cold and distance.

'You're not gonna kill me…'

'Yes, I am!' the sound of the charging gun and the bitterness in her voice.

He had hurt that Claire. He didn't want to do the same mistake with this one.

'Don't blame yourself for everything, Peter!' Angela had changed her tone and Peter looked back at her. 'That feeling would eat you up inside… You are just a human, noting else…'

'I don't feel good…' Claire intervene their conversation and jumped from the bed, covered her mouth.

Peter just looked at her, hesitating…