Wow guys, I'm sorry it's been like a hundred years. First it started off as just a hard time writing bits and pieces, then my grandfather just passed away and that has been really difficult. I'm doing okay, it was just his time but it's been hard all the same. So here's a chapter, a drama, action packed chapter for you guys. You all deserve it! Hopefully next chapter will be up sooner. 3

They were well into the Spring semester and John could see an end in sight. Sooner, rather than later, they would leave Earth for their tiny house in the outer reaches of the galaxy.

The idea brought him a shocking amount of relief. Earth was amazing, there were so many people, so many places, and so many things to do.

It was overwhelming.

The apartment was relatively quiet because it was high up, but the streets were loud, the lights were bright and the people were numerous. He missed the mountains, he missed running outside without stopping at street lights, he missed their garden and their bed.

It was a Saturday, so Cortana didn't have classes or lectures to do. He was excited that they could all go out and run errands together as a family. Joan was also excited to go to the park.

"Daddy! I'm all ready to go, hurry up!," he heard Joan yell from the hallway. He could hear her literally bouncing up and down with anticipation. He had no idea how she could get so excited about. He quickly grabbed his favorite zip-up sweatshirt and walked out to the hallway.

Joan quickly reached up and grabbed his hand. She liked to hold his hand wherever they went. This was a little difficult because of how tall he was, he had to hunch over a little and it made walking awkward, but he didn't mind all too much. He liked holding her hand.

"I don't like taking the train with Joan, I'm going to call a car," she mumbled as she tapped her watch.

John found this slightly silly. Joan acted just fine on trains and cars were more expensive than the train. John knew Cortana just didn't like trains very much, or public transit in general. He knew he had no real reason to want to save money, but he always tried to save when he could, he wasn't a person of excess.

"Mama, when are we going to the park?," asked Joan a little louder than necessary.

"After we go to the bank sweetheart, Dad and I have a few things to take care of and then I promise we'll go to the park as long as you would like," she said kindly, running a hand through Joan's hair. Joan smiled. The bank was boring, but she could wait if it meant she got to go to the park.

Joan liked when she could sit by the window. She hated her carseat and how the belts made her feel all restricted, but she liked to look at all the cars outside. All the buildings and different people were fun to look at.

The car pulled up and Mom unhooked her seatbelt.

The building in front of her was huge. Joan couldn't help but look up. She couldn't even see the top of the building it was so high, and all glass.

"Mama, that building's tall," she said, grabbing her mother's hand.

"Yes it is, and it's very new!"

Mom was super smart. Joan didn't know many people, but she was very sure her mom was the smartest person in the whole world. Dad had said so, and Mom knew absolutely everything about anything.

John couldn't help but smile at Joan's awed expression. Even he had to agree, the structure was rather impressive.

The bank they needed to go to was only on the fifth floor of the impressive building, so the elevator ride wasn't very long.

"Why do you need to actually go to the bank again?," he asked Cortana. It was unusual that she ever had to go to a building and actually do something when she could normally do everything from home.

Cortana sighed.

"There's been a lot of fraud with bank accounts in the Outer Colonies, people trying to evade taxes and things like that, so it's far easier to go in person to the bank and transfer money from an Earth account to an Outer Colony account, far less steps than if I did it remotely."

John found it interesting that Earth found yet another small thing to make Outer Colony life more cumbersome. When he found himself thinking thoughts like this, he usually pushed them to the back of his mind. He was loyal to Earth and he was loyal to the system that he'd bled to preserve, but he couldn't help but see some things that needed reform. Poverty, struggle and anger were part of life in the Outer Colonies. Things like Cortana's entire program were meant to ameliorate situations like this–something he was extremely proud of–but there were definitely oversights.

Surprisingly enough, the entire floor was crowded with people. He had thought that in this day and age everyone could do this remotely, but apparently money was simply one of those things that remained complex despite technology.

He held Joan's hand while she fidgeted, anxious to go the park. He couldn't blame her. It was boring for a little kid and she wasn't making a scene, so he considered the entire thing a success.

"Joan, do you want to ride on my back?," he asked. She smiled that toothy grin that made his heart skip a beat and nodded yes. He picked her up and felt her wrap her arms tightly around him and start to talk to him about all of the fun things they would do at the park.

He couldn't shake a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt paranoid, almost anxious and he simply couldn't place why. He watched Cortana fiddle with her tablet and glanced around. He hadn't felt this way for a long, long time.

Stop it. You're being silly.

He shook his head and shifted his weight on either foot nervously.

Everything after that happened slowly.

He heard the initial detonation sound four stories below before anyone in the room. He grabbed Cortana. She gasped, looking at him shocked and confused. He was running, running towards the windows.

"Hang on, Joan," he rasped. People screamed when the glass windows around them shattered and flames came up through the floor of the building. He felt the heat raging behind him and the glass cutting his arms and face.

He jumped.

Joan was crying and Cortana was screaming as they fell through the air. He felt Cortana wrap an arm around him and another arm grab Joan's wrists.

They hit the ground. Hard. Something in his leg made a rather sickening pop sound. The air was black and he could hear Joan and Cortana both coughing. Explosions were still moving up the building as he ran. He ran as fast as he could. He didn't know where he was running, all he knew was that he was going away, far away from here. He didn't think about the debris or the people he was undoubtedly running over, he had to get Cortana and Joan away.

After three minutes of an all out sprint, he had to stop. The air was clearer here. People were still running and panicking, crying, a few bleeding but injuries here were minimal.

We have to be the only people who made it out of that building.

Joan was wailing and Cortana had started crying herself. He set them down on a bench and looked at them. They were both covered head to toe in soot, their skin completely blackened. He looked at Joan and noticed a laceration spanning from her right cheekbone towards the corner of her mouth, bleeding at a somewhat steady pace.

The wound wasn't mortal, she would be fine, but the emotions that washed over him, seeing her bleed, seeing her so scared and so afraid, were overwhelming. He grabbed her and hugged her to him tightly.

"You're okay, it's okay, Mom and Dad are here, it's all fine," he said to her, his own voice shaking.

"I–want–to–go–home," she cried, her words punctuated by sobs.

He felt Cortana wrap her arms around them both. They stayed like that, the chaos of first responders drowning out their tears.

Naomi busied herself. She ignored how cold her bed was without Vaz, she ignored his empty drawers and left his shaving cream in the cabinet where it always had been. She threw herself into her assistant duties for Serin and six weeks had already passed.

She'd spoken to Vaz twice. He didn't tell her details of what he was doing which was to be expected, but she did know that he had done two orbital drops, though she wasn't sure if they were into combat. She knew there was unrest between the Brutes and the Elites still and some situations with human populations involved. She also knew that recovering assets various assets–from defunct AIs with too much information to not go through proper decommissioning to random pieces of hardware on ships and slipspace drives that had crashed and not been scavenged or destroyed–was important nowadays.

She had fought the pangs of loneliness she felt rather well. She focused on counting the days and how each day was a day closer to him being home. She didn't know exactly when he would be home, that was the nature of deployments. She could guess from her own experience that it'd be between six months to a year.

Today, she was having lunch with Serin. This was an extremely rare occurrence, the woman was almost always meeting with people or far too busy to even take a lunch. They were at Serin's favorite place near base, sitting outside with a view of the ocean. Naomi found it comforting but Serin was the one at home near water. Serin would have fit in very well with the old Navy that still used boats and warships. She took to the ocean the way Naomi took to the stars and space.

"Even though we live together it feels like we never see each other, how are you Naomi?" The often stoic admiral folded a napkin on her lap and glanced at her. Naomi could tell she was concerned, but only because she knew her extremely well. Something about the way her eyebrows arched slightly upward, a slightly gentle tone in her voice–these were all indicators of compassion for Serin.

"I'm okay. What about you?," Naomi felt stiff and awkward. She couldn't say she was happy, she couldn't really even say she was sad, she just was here. She hated it, but without Vaz everything seemed just...grey. Everything was dull, numb, or uninteresting. In some ways, this was fine with Naomi. She didn't bother getting upset about the present. Being upset about the present was pointless. All she could do was exist in the moment, she wouldn't allow herself to wither away and feeling somewhat numb was a good alternative to that, at least in her opinion.

She could tell Serin was worried but wasn't going to pry. That wasn't her way. She would find other, more clever ways of figuring out her mood, which wouldn't be too difficult considering they lived together.

"I'm glad we're having lunch because I wanted to tell you, I'm going into space for some...cleaning up, I suppose, for a few months. You don't need to come, I won't need you and honestly I can't get a civilian the security clearance you would need, even a former Spartan, so, I'm going to be putting you on leave for the next few months."

Serin looked at Naomi. The blonde woman's face was completely blank and Serin found it unnerving.

I hate it when she makes that face. I feel so helpless.

Naomi always made that indifferent, blank face when she wanted to hide anything unpleasant. Everyone had nervous ticks, everyone had habits, but due to years of improper socialization, Naomi always seemed a little off. When she was upset, this was exacerbated. She didn't really know how to express displeasure, sadness or fear. It was all internal, and that blank stare gave it away for Serin.

"You can take the time to pick up a hobby, I know you like cooking. You could go visit John and Cortana, I know they would love to see you–"

"Serin, I don't need to be babysat," she said a little more harshly than she intended.

Naomi frowned and felt slightly guilty at the Admiral's awkward glance downward.

She's just trying to be kind. You might look like a total freakshow to her.

"Look, I'm fine," she said, slightly exasperated, trying to reassure her friend. "I've talked to Vaz and he's fine, deployments come to an end."

Serin sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I know you're fine," she fanned herself. "Shit, is it hot out here?"

"No hotter than normal," said Naomi.

"Ugh, I'm getting old, I've been having hot flashes like no other, I'm so excited for this menopause bullshit to be over with, the sooner the better, I need to get to the doctor because I'm sick of sweating through my uniform every damn day."

Naomi chuckled.

"How are you laughing, aren't you having the same thing?"

Naomi shook her head. "No, I'm still running like…." she paused and tried to think of her last period.

Before Vaz left.

"Something wrong?"

"No, um, I just forgot something. I have to go, I'm sorry," she got up quickly and gathered her purse. She walked quickly to her car, not really seeing her surroundings, her vision already tunneling in panic.

I had to have gotten it, there's no way.

She didn't know where she was driving, she was already frantic.

Get it together Naomi. Pharmacy. Find a pharmacy.

She somehow managed to get herself to a pharmacy. She walked around the parking lot anxiously for a few minutes before she actually went in. This didn't help at all she still felt like her head was going to explode. She stalled even more and walked around the pharmacy aimlessly, half-heartedly glancing at anything from cosmetics to bed-pans.

"Ma'am, is there anything you need help with?," asked an employee dressed in a collared shirt.

"No," Naomi snapped.

The worker who had approached her scurried away, clearly afraid of the tall woman.

She grabbed a box of pregnancy tests.

His knee was completely dislocated and he'd re injured his achilles tendon. Aside from minor lacerations and some glass stuck in his arms, he was okay.

Cortana had a few bumps and bruises but she was fine. Joan's cut needed tending to, but the medical triages set up wouldn't even look at the three of them considering the amount of horrific injuries that the explosion had caused. John knew that there had to be thousands dead and injured at minimum.

All transit had been suspended. The city blocks were in chaos. All they could do was try to walk home.

Joan continued to whimper and cry on his back. Cortana walked shakily beside him, trying to talk to Joan but failing.

He limped, his knee grinding painfully out of its socket. He paused as he carried them and braced himself for the pain of pushing it quickly back into place. He bit his bottom lip and held back a curse and tucked the discomfort away. He needed to get his family home.

Their home was at five miles away from the explosion and the moving was slow. It took them over two hours to cover the distance, between the wailing sirens and hysterical sirens, even John felt exhausted by the time he summoned the elevator up to their apartment.

I am getting old.

There was a time where explosions and mass casualties had been his norm, his daily grind. It had never been easy, death never was, but it hadn't been this jarring, this upsetting.

He fumbled with the buttons on Joan's jumper. She was still afraid. He couldn't help but feel a tear roll down his cheek at the sight of her bright blue eyes looking up at him from a soot covered face with dried blood on her cheek.

He took off his clothes and turned on the shower head. He, Cortana and Joan all sat on the floor of the shower, shaking glass and debris out of their hair and watching the soot filled water swirl down the drain.

He grabbed his bathrobe and watched Cortana do the same. He went into the bathroom cabinet and grabbed ointment for Joan's cut.

He added it and she cried, the ointment stinging.

He frowned.

He dressed Joan in her pajamas and set her in their bed. He wanted her by them right now. He didn't want either Joan or Cortana out of his sight. Joan, clearly exhausted, quickly fell asleep.

"We didn't get to this soon enough. It's going to scar," he shook his head. He felt so ashamed. He couldn't get them home quickly enough.

"You did the best you could," said Cortana, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I should've been carrying first-aid supplies or something–"

"John, this isn't a war, how could you expect something like this, that's ridiculous," said Cortana sighing.

He looked at her, a small cut on the bottom of her lip.

She started to cry again.

"I love you, I'm so glad we're okay," she whimpered.

He kissed her insistently, firmly. He wanted to feel her, he wanted to know she was there, that they were in their bed, safe from whoever had tried to harm them today.

They broke apart and he hugged her close to him. They stayed like that for a few minutes, listening to the other breath and shake. John hadn't shook like this in recent memory. How close had he come to losing them? To dying? Closer than he had in years, and that terrified him.

They crawled into the bed, Joan sleeping deeply between the two of them and turned off the lights.

Vaz watched the video again.

It was a simple video, he must've shot it on a Saturday morning. Naomi was in her pajamas still, making breakfast. She had music playing and she even shuffled around slightly to the beat as she flipped a pancake.

His favorite part was when she turned around and realized he had been filming her, her shocked look and red blush of embarrassment made him laugh every time.

"Stop that!," she said, but he could tell she didn't mean it and that she was holding back laughter. Her smile and the way her eyes crinkled made him feel a strange feeling in his chest, like he just couldn't miss her any more than he did. It was painful but in a wonderful way. It was better to have the pain of missing someone than having no one, something he also knew well.

"Wow, she's pretty."

Vaz glared.

He had to have the most annoying private in the world under his supervision. It was his first deployment and he was the biggest boot he'd encountered in a long, long time.

"So I just financed a car at home for only 20% interest, and zero down," his subbordinate rambled.

How did I end up in charge of the boot of all boots. This is bull shit, I need to make rank.

He didn't respond, in his traditional Russian way.

"My girl is pregnant," he said.

That got Vaz's attention.

"How?"

The boot looked at him. "Um, the usual way?"

"No but how, we just deployed and got shot up, how?"

He looked at him strangely, like he had just said grass was pink or that the sun revolved around the Earth.

"Didn't you hear? There was a batch of shots that were shit, people are saying it's a big government conspiracy to get human population up after the Covenant."

Vaz's eyes widened.

"You worried?"

"Round up all the other boots and go police call the hangar bay, tell them staff sergeant told you to," Vaz mumbled grumpily. He was going to go for a run.

There's no way. Everything is fine. Get ready for your drop tomorrow.

No. This can't be happening. I'm not doing this.

She hadn't felt so afraid in her entire life. She stared at the positive pregnancy test and felt nothing but dread and terror.

I can't be a mother. I don't know how to be a mother. I can't do this. I need Vasya.

The idea of having her body change so much in such a short period of time was horrifying. Losing control over herself like that, losing her existence and the barely there autonomy she'd worked so, so hard for when she didn't know the first thing about children.

She drove entirely too fast on the way home and opened the door so carelessly it slammed into the wall and made a dent.

She didn't care. She went upstairs and looked at herself in her mirror. She looked relatively crazed. She ran her hand over her still flat stomach.

Kelly is a mother. Maybe I could be a mom.

She looked at her face. She was surprised at how tired and scared she already looked, just minutes after finding out about this potential child. She thought about her stomach swelling and her ribs shifting to accommodate the growing child.

Visions of doctors and needles and the pain and the terror and her Father and how he had left her-

He didn't leave you.

How do you know that? You were a Spartan meant to save the human race, not a daughter or a child.

No. That's Halsey talking, my dad loved me.

And he thought you a monster, because that's what you were made into, with metal and knives and chemicals shot into every part of you-

No, no, no . Too much.

She shook her head.

Don't be an idiot. You're too screwed up, too afraid, too much of a freak to be a mother.

She looked into the mirror. She hadn't started crying but she looked like a ghost, her face was pale and she had broken into a cold sweat. For the first time she felt and looked every single one of her years.

She picked up a phone and looked up a number. She had already made up her mind.

I'm sorry. This is better, for everyone involved, especially the child.

"Women's Health Services Sydney West, how can I help you today?"

"My name is Naomi Sentzke and I need an abortion."

She felt sick to her stomach. She went out running and pushed herself harder than she normally did.

She turned on the shower as hot as it would go and it made her skin turn an ugly, blotchy red but she didn't care.

She put on some pajamas and laid down on her bed, her still wet body dripping onto her clothes and sheets. She fell into a fitful sleep.

She was dreaming of crying children. She wanted it to stop. She heard Vaz's voice intermixed with cries, cries that shook her to her very core. Soon, his screams and yells were mixed with her own screams. Everything was blurry, red, and disorienting. She felt ready to vomit and a strange sensation of vertigo.

She woke up in a cold sweat.

It was a dream. This will all be over soon.

She winced. She felt pain in her lower abdomen. It was awful enough to make her cry out as she felt a particularly strong cramp.

She turned on her bedside light and screamed at what she saw.

Serin woke up with a start.

Naomi.

She got out of bed and quickly put on her robe. She ran up to Naomi's room.

She could have had a nightmare, she might attack me if I walk in too quickly.

She opened the door cautiously.

"Naomi–"

Her words died and she gasped.

Naomi was sitting on her bed with the blankets thrown off revealing blood stained sheets.

"Oh God," she said quietly.

Naomi looked like she was in shock. She was staring blankly at her bloody thighs and sheets visibly shaking.

Serin sat down by her, not caring if she got any blood on her. She softly put a hand on her shoulder. Naomi flinched.

"Naomi-"

"I was pregnant," Naomi whispered, "and now I'm not."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

Naomi shook her head. "It's fine. I was going to get rid of it. It's better this way. Better for everyone."

Serin frowned. She didn't believe her. She may have been thinking of terminating but Serin knew Naomi would take this as some sort of failure.

"Let's get you cleaned up," she said softly.

Naomi was like a rag doll, hardly helping as Serin took her to the bathroom. When she sat on the ground and didn't make a move to undress herself, Serin started to worry.

She turned on the water and sat down across from her.

"Naomi?"

Naomi didn't look at her. She was somewhere far away. Serin swallowed.

"Naomi, I'm going to help you undress, okay?"

Naomi nodded the tiniest amount.

Serin carefully undressed her and simply put her clothes in the trash.

She took her and essentially lifted her into the bath tub. She washed her and watched as the red water swirled down the drain.

She toweled Naomi off and with surprisingly gentle hands she didn't know she had and she dressed her in new clothes with a pad in the underwear for more bleeding. She combed through Naomi's white blonde hair and braided it as gently as she could to keep it out of her way.

At least she is clean now.

"Come to my room, don't look," Serin said softly leading her away from her bloody bed.

Naomi started to shake and walked with her to her room. Serin put her into her bed and watched her shake and wince with the pain.

It must be very uncomfortable for her to show this much pain.

"I'm going to go get you some of my leg pain killers and some water, I'll be right back."

Naomi didn't respond, she just stared blankly at the ceiling. It scared Serin, that blank, vacant stare.

Serin came back with pills and brought the glass of water to her mouth, trying to help her sip. It was like trying to feed someone who was asleep, the water dribbled down the sides of her mouth. With a bit of effort, Naomi managed to swallow the medication.

"I'll stay here with you, this should all pass sometime tomorrow. Until then I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere," she said as she put in her work calendar that she would be working from home.

Naomi didn't respond but turned on her side, wrapping her arms around herself and bringing her knees to her chest. She muttered something.

"What?"

"Don't tell Vasya," she croaked.

"I won't," Serin sighed, "try to rest."

Hours passed and Serin couldn't tell if Naomi had slept at all but her discomfort had seemed to ease a little bit.

Naomi was in a daze. With every muscle spasm she felt her body betray her. She knew that she didn't want to be a mother and that she had planned to abort, but something about the violent, bloody, miserable mess that was happening upset her. It was far too much blood. Now she was questioning if she could've gone through with the procedure. What if she had wanted….No, there was no way.

I feel out of control. I feel betrayed by my body. I feel like a failure.

Serin would occasionally run a hand on her forehead while she worked from her computer in bed.

Sometime in the late afternoon the pain and the blood slowed for a bit. She was exhausted and finally got a little bit of sleep.

Serin shook her awake.

"Naomi, Vaz is calling you," she said softly.

Naomi felt panicked and sat up the best she could but it felt impossible. Her limbs wouldn't cooperate, her head felt like it was in a bucket of water and her vision felt blurred.

You have to talk to him. If you don't he'll know something is wrong and then he'll do something stupid like get distracted during an orbital drop and die and it'll be all your fault.

"Give me the screen," Naomi said quietly. Serin did so and made to get up.

"Stay," said Naomi sharply. She needed her there. Serin needed to stay. She couldn't get through this without her. Serin sat back down out of the screen's view.

Naomi exhaled shakily and answered the call.

Vaz's face popped up on the screen.

The emotions she felt seeing his face overwhelmed her. It was everything she could do to not burst into tears at the sight of his face. She could remember his stubble, his eyes, his hands, his hair, every single little thing she adored about him and each memory hurt her. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from sobbing.

"Hello," he said a little stiffly. She could tell he was tired.

"Hi," she said with composure she didn't know she possessed.

You have to do this. You have to be okay. For him.

"How are you?"

"Happy to hear your voice," she said quickly. It was true. She felt better even seeing his face.

"And I am happy to hear yours, zvezda," he said lowly, "I think of you every day."

Naomi frowned. "You need to think of what you're doing, your job is to fall out of the sky and kill things,you need to focus on the mission," she said sharply. His work was too dangerous. One mistake and he was dead. He shouldn't think on her.

Vaz frowned. "I know, I do. Please, do not worry about me so much, I can see even from here. Please, smile for me," he said softly.

She tried to smile but it was forced and she knew he would be able to tell. The smile felt like a joke, it felt like a lie.

"Naomi," he said softly, clearly worried.

"I'm sorry Vasya, I have had a difficult week, but I will be fine. Everyday is a day closer to you coming back to me," she said. It was the most genuine thing she'd said the entire conversation.

"I think of you before I sleep and when I wake up, it makes my day better."

"I will try to do the same," she said, her voice shaking a little.

"I have to go, have a drop tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too," she said, trying her best to keep the shakiness out of her voice. The transmission ended.

Serin watched the shaking Spartan go through a range of emotions, a few tears even rolling down her cheeks until she buried whatever she was feeling behind Spartan indifference, something Serin hadn't seen her really do in a long time.

"Naomi?"

"I'm okay," she said robotically.

Everything is pointless.

She felt her heart break inside of her and deep, deep sadness overcame her.

I want to be numb. I don't want to feel this anymore.

She laid back down and stared at the wall until she fell asleep again.

Joan was still sleeping. He and Cortana sat in the living room, coffee mugs in their hands, silent.

"Cortana," John rasped.

"What?," she asked flatly.

"Yesterday," he swallowed, "when I grabbed you and Joan, when I ran out of the building, I..." he paused, searching for the words, "I didn't care about anyone else in the building. I didn't care if they all lived or died. I didn't even think about it."

Her eyes flashed with what he recognized as interest.

"How does that make you feel?," she finally asked.

"That's the strange part," he looked down into his cup of coffee, steam rising off of the top, "I don't...I don't care."

Drama drama drama for my folks this chapter. I hope you guys all liked it. Please review!