A/N Dear All, I have to apologise again for my delayed update as I have been extremely busy and then unwell ;-( It appears life is set to distract me at every turn but please bear with me and know I have every intention of finishing this story even although it may take a while to get it all down ;-) Thank you all as ever for your reviews and favourites ;-) And To Guest Victoria, thank you and please have 3 more fish to bash away with ;-) And as ever a HUGE thank you to You Are Love ;-) I truly appreciate all your time, help and support ;-) Now back to the story ;-) I hope you all enjoy ;-) Cheers Dt
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to these characters or any settings/songs/places. This is merely a fanmade writing experiment and is in no way profit making.
The Phantom and Moppet
Chapter Thirty Eight
'Is everything alright, Christine? I didn't think Erik was ever going to leave. He has been awfully protective these last few weeks. Have you argued? I was afraid I would not get a chance to talk to you alone with you going away for your birthday tomorrow.' Meg asked, frustrated yet concerned.
'We have not argued.' Christine replied, smiling vaguely. She adored how the Phantom had been making his presence felt recently. In fact, Erik had not left Christine's side ever since the attack ten nights before. Christine could almost have been stifled by his shadowing her, had she not been so relieved to have him near. Christine felt safe when she was with Erik. Their connection, the feeling that he was always so close, was a reassuring comfort that she needed now more than ever. When she had told Erik so, her angel had ensured that he was always within ear shot.
Physically, Erik may have been close since the night she had been attacked but emotionally he had retreated again. Christine sighed but then could not help form a grin. She knew Erik would have been near whether she had wanted him to be or not. The Opera Ghost was a law unto himself, Christine thought ruefully. She knew that aside from being her sentinel, Erik was up to something. Though annoyingly he refused to tell her what.
Now Meg was sat on Christine's bed helping her pack. Erik having elicited a sworn promise from them both that they would not move from their home until he returned, had reluctantly left them alone to go and finalise their travel plans. Unable to tell Meg the real reason, Erik was loath to leave her side. Christine sat down next to her and hoped to distract her sister with gossip. 'Everything is fine, Meg. Erik may have been a lingering spectre these last few weeks but I am sure it is just because he is up to something. He has never been more mysterious and vague about his comings and goings.' Christine smiled both amused and annoyed by Erik's machinations and emotional distance.
'Do you think it has to do with all the hue and cry we have heard coming from, Debienne and Poligny's office? Mama says they have been scurrying about for weeks and are defiantly up to something.' Meg asked.
'I don't know. Erik won't say. And every time I ask he just grins at me and tells me to wait and see.' Christine smiled wryly.
'Do you think the Opera Ghost has been making his demands again?' Meg asked intrigued.
'Oh I am sure of it,' laughed Christine. 'Whatever Erik is up to you can be sure it will benefit the running of the Opera House.' Christine smiled.
'How can you be so sure?' Meg asked, wondering at Christine's complete faith in the Phantom.
'Because, Erik loves this place. He would never do anything to hurt his beloved theatre.' Christine defended Erik. Her hackles rising at the implied slight.
'Apart from stealing funds from it.' Meg could not resist taunting, knowing full well this was the one fact that even, Christine could not spin into a just cause. Christine was so honest yet she refused to see Erik's crime in scamming off the managers. Love really does make you blind and forgive all sins, Meg thought ruefully.
Christine fumed. How she wished she could clear Erik's name and refute the claptrap of lies about the Phantom being a thief. Sworn to secrecy she could say nothing. Christine had promised Erik she would tell no one he was Mr Tresled and she would not betray him. Even though it galled to keep her promise. Christine sighed and changed the subject, not wanting to argue with Meg. 'What did you want to talk about that you could not say in front of, Erik? A certain stage hand perhaps?' Christine asked with a knowing grin.
Meg returned the grin as she had no wish to argue either, especially as she also more than reaped the benefits of Erik's pilfering. She had only really mentioned it to see how Christine would react and the glare she had received in reply was answer enough. Besides Christine was right - it was a dreamy stage hand she wanted to talk about. 'Perhaps.' Meg grinned in reply. 'Garlan is a wonderful topic of conversation. I have desperately been trying to catch you alone the last two days but our dear Erik has been ever looming.' Free of prying ears a dam seemed to burst in Meg and her words flooded out in an excited rush. 'Oh Christine, I love him so much. He took me out for dinner and dancing. He brought me flowers and a gorgeous necklace. Look!' Meg enthused pulling a plain silver heart shaped locket from around her neck.
'It is beautiful.' Christine agreed, delighted to see Meg so happy.
'And see it opens and inside is a tiny sachet of lavender. Garlan says the smell reminds him of me as it is the scent I wore the night we first danced.' Meg said excitedly, her eyes sparkling.
'Wow, Meg. I had no idea stage hands earned so much.' Christine could not resist teasing.
'Me neither,' laughed Meg. 'In fact I teased Garlan about it and he got a little weird actually. He shrugged and said he had come into some money. If I didn't know him any better I'd say it he's stole it.' Meg laughed. 'But I think he is just embarrassed as to where the money came from. I think he may have taken on a second job to earn more money but when I pressed he refused to tell me any more and changed the subject. I'm sure I'll winkle it out of him eventually though.' Meg giggled.
'Yes? And how exactly will you do that?' Christine asked. Both amused at Meg's tenaciousness and feeling a little sorry for the unsuspecting Garlan.
'Oh he is putty in my hands.' Meg grinned. 'Especially now we have…' Meg came to halt blushing a fiery red.
'Meg Giry!' Christine exclaimed. 'You don't mean that you..?' Christine trailed off blushing herself now.
'Yes. Yes we did.' Meg smiled nervously, suddenly afraid of what Christine might think.
'Oh Meg. Are you ok? What was it like? When did it happen? Where? Did you… Did you enjoy it?' Christine asked in a rush delighted, intrigued and worried for her sister all at once.
'You don't think badly of me for having slept with him?' Meg timidly asked.
'Meg don't be daft. You are my sister. I love you. If you believe and are happy enough in your relationship to be physical intimate with the man you are in love with, then I trust that it was right thing to do.' Christine comforted as she hugged, Meg.
Relieved, Meg returned the embrace. 'Thank you, Christine. I was suddenly worried you might not understand.' Meg sighed, still hugging Christine. Meg missed the wry look that briefly crossed her sisters face before she pulled back to meet her friends gaze.
'You can tell me anything, Meg. I'll always believe in you.' Christine reassured, understanding all to well the need to be closer to someone you love. She had spent the last ten nights sleeping blissfully in Erik's embrace. Perhaps this was the answer to why she herself felt so alive from Erik's touch? 'Now tell me everything. What happened?' Christine asked excited for her friend and not ready to admit or analyse her feelings for Erik.
'Alright.' Meg took a deep breath, glad to be able talk about what happened at last. 'Well it happened the night he took me out for dinner and dancing, after he walked me back to the Opera House. Once we were back inside, it was late and the place was deserted. Instead of taking back to my room though, Garlan led me to the auditorium and up onto the stage. He bowed to me and asked me to dance again. As he twirled me in his arms he told me how many times he had watched me on stage. How he was so excited when you asked him to pass on that message because finally he had the excuse to speak to me and wasn't able to shrink out of it. I told him I was very glad he managed to find the courage to speak to me.' Meg swallowed as she felt the same stirrings of the passion she had felt that night. 'We were dancing. Garlan held me very close and then we started to kiss and… Well the stage is set for rehearsal… The love scene and somehow we were suddenly lying on the bed kissing and touching… And well one thing had lead to another and…' Meg trailed off smiling as she remembered.
'What did it feel like? Did it hurt?' Christine asked thinking of some of the horror stories from the other ballet rats compared to the biology facts, Erik had taught her.
'Well at first there was a really sharp pain and it was uncomfortable. Garlan felt me tense and he… Well he caressed and kissed me until I relaxed and then… It didn't hurt any more. It felt wonderful.' Meg confided. 'Garlan he… Well it seemed to be over fairly quickly for him.' Meg confessed with a blush. 'But after he caught his breath, Garlan started to kiss and touch me again it did not take him long to… Let's just say the second time lasted longer and was… Amazing. It felt as if my whole body had come alive. All my senses tingled and were building towards something. His every touch created a greater need and then… It was like an explosion of sensation and there was a breathtaking release. I never felt so alive.' Meg smiled shyly, not revealing that their conversation had made her hunger once again for her lovers touch. 'Afterwards we must have dozed for a while as I woke up because I was… Cold.' Meg blushed. 'We got dressed and Garlan walked me back to my room.'
'Its sounds incredible.' Christine smiled, then frowned. 'Do you think it is like that for everyone?' Christine asked.
'No, I don't. I think it was only so incredible because we are in love.' Meg replied seriously.
'And you never had any doubts?' Christine asked a little worried.
'No, I love him. There is no doubt. It just felt… Natural. It felt right. Like it was meant to happen.' Meg explained.
'Well do you feel any different? According to, Veronica, 'It makes you feel like a real women.' Christine impersonated their friend, laughing.
'I guess I do feel different. Though I'm not sure I could say I feel like 'a real women' or whatever that means,' laughed Meg. 'I feel special, wanted… Loved.' Meg said with a starry smile.
'Meg, I am so pleased for you. It is marvellous you are so happy. Do you think that you will… Do it again?' Christine grinned at her friend.
Meg felt her cheeks burn as she confessed. 'We already have.'
'Meg! When? Where?' Christine asked a little shocked.
'Well lets just say you may want to walk loudly into any deserted rooms or cupboards you enter from now on as, Garlan seems keen to make love in them all.' Meg laughed, both in joy and at Christine's expression.
'And did it feel as good as the first time?' Curious, Christine could not help but ask.
'Better.' Grinned Meg, recalling how the last time they had rendezvous she had to bite her lip to keep from yelling out Garlan's name in the throes of passion.
'And you are happy?' Christine ascertained.
'Deliriously so.' Meg grinned.
'Then that is all that matters.' Christine smiled, hugging her. Then quickly pulled back with a shocked expression. 'But what about Madam Giry? Surly you have not told her? How did have you managed to escape her eagle gaze?' Christine asked concerned.
'Fortunately the night we went out I had told mother I was staying at the Opera House to practice,' laughed Meg. 'Thankfully she was so excited about an evening alone with Nadir it never occurred to her that I might go out between practice and bed.' Meg grinned wickedly, then feigned a hurt look. 'In fact I should be hurt at her rather obvious joy in getting rid of me for the evening. And I would be too if I did not now encourage Mama to spend every free moment she has with Nadir. As I now understand the need to be alone with one's lover.' Meg sighed dramatically and both girls giggled.
Meg suddenly frowned and clutched Christine's hand. 'I know you and Erik talk about everything but please can you not…' Meg began to ask for Christine to interrupt her.
'This concerns no one but you and Garlan. I promise I will say nothing to Erik.' Christine vowed, squeezing Meg's hand.
'Thank you, Christine. I know you hate keeping things from our dear Phantom and I don't like to ask. I certainly do not want to cause trouble for, or come between you and Erik but I am not ready to share this with anyone else yet.' Meg admitted.
'It's ok, Meg. I understand.' Christine supported and realised - she did understand. Christine saw the radiant joy that sparkled in Meg's eyes as she spoke of her love and wondered if the same look shone in her own eyes when she spoke about Erik. As they chatted, Christine was fairly sure she uncovered a secret of her own. She was in love with the Phantom of the Opera.
Christine sat in her beautiful rose garden, surrounded by red roses and pretended to read. She periodically turned the pages of the book she held to give the appearance she was actually taking in the words but what she was really doing was watching Erik. After much pleading and begging that this was her birthday wish, Erik had reluctantly agreed to spend their afternoon in the sunshine. He sat now, (his large frame making the big bench look small), next to her on the seat. Christine sat with her feet tucked up and facing Erik on the bench. It was easier to study him this way.
He had been uncomfortable at first, tense and his eyes screwed up. Still unused to the bright sunlight. Even after all the years Christine had been dragging him outside. His long legs were stretched out and crossed in front of him and eventually as the book he read had captured his attention, he relaxed into his chair. Christine watched, almost hypnotized as the slight breeze blew a stray lock of his hair and could not help her grin as, Erik again unconsciously smoothed it back into place. She was thankful it had not occurred to Erik to demand he wear his mask (as was their usual battle when, Christine managed to get him outside), as now she could see all his beloved features. It was a honoured sign of how much he now trusted and felt relaxed in her presence.
Christine lovingly traced every scar and ridge with her eyes and wished she could trace them with her fingers. And then lovingly kiss each one came the unbidden thought and Christine quickly looked back down at her book hoping Erik did not notice her blush. For the last few days had been somewhat difficult for Christine in view of her epiphany that she was in love with, Erik.
With this knowledge so much suddenly made sense. Erik now having the ability to reduce her to a gibbering wreck with just one look from his gorgeous eyes. The shiver she felt when she sensed he was near. The way everything else seemed to stop and cease to matter when he walked into a room. The quiver of desire she felt at slightest touch from his hand. It helped explain why sometimes she was now unable to follow simply conversations or instructions. She now was so overwhelmed by his wonderful self and all the feelings he inspired that he often rendered her speechless. It was all suddenly so clear - she was in love with Erik. Christine could not help but smile dreamily every time she thought about it. Everything felt different. She felt so much more - excited, breathless, alive and… frustrated!
Christine had to admit the principal feeling she felt now that she knew she was in love was frustration! Not so much of the heady wonderful feelings, Meg told her about. Christine wanted to touch Erik, to tell him she loved him. Every time she thought about telling him, (like now), Christine held back, uncertain that she should. It was an exasperating situation.
It had taken her a decade to get Erik to just sit comfortably outside with her. In the sunshine without wearing his mask. What would he say if she told him she was IN love with him? This was the question that taunted Christine. She loved him and she wanted to shout it to the world. She wanted to hold him and touch him and tell him how she worshipped the ground he walked on. She wanted him to tell her the same. She wanted Erik to return her love. She wanted him to touch her. She wanted to be as intimate with Erik as Meg was with Garlan.
NO! She mustn't think such things. Erik was uncomfortable when she held him in an overlong hug. He would not want or be comfortable with a deeper more physical relationship. Christine understood loving Erik would not be easy. She glanced up to again see Erik smooth his rebel hair into place and she smiled. No it would not be easy but it would be the most worth while and fantastic thing she ever did. To continue to be every day at his side. To be his confidante, his student, his best friend she would not risk losing that for anything in the world. Though if in time, Erik should reciprocate her feelings well… Christine looked forward to the day she could proudly walk on his arm. Mrs. Christine Destler came the secret longing and Christine buried the yearning thought in her subconscious and her head in her book.
No, she could not think of that. She had to be content with what she had - his trust and companionship. The two most treasured and precious things he had given her. Both she held dear in her heart. Maybe in time, Erik would find he wanted more from their relationship and if… When he does, (Christine thought with a smile), she will be more than happy to oblige. Besides she might not be able to instigate a deeper relationship between them but she could nudge Erik in the right direction. Christine grinned, thinking of their nights together.
Christine had found the last few nights spent innocently in his arms both heaven and hell. Heaven as it was the only place she longed to be, home in his arms. Hell because she wanted so much more. She longed to run hands over the smooth silk of his pyjamas and feel his … NO! She must worker harder to banish these secret longings. At least she understood why she was suddenly so effected by Erik himself. And why Madam Giry and Meg went round and giggling and blushing so much.
It was hard to imagine, Madam Giry, (someone she had long thought of as a mother), in an intimate situation with Nadir but as she too now understood the longings one felt towards a… lover. Christine could understand now how they could not keep their hands off each other. She could not imagine there would ever be a time when she didn't desire Erik. No matter how old they were. It was good to see proof that love could be found later on in life as it meant there would always be hope for her and Erik. That maybe one day he would see her as more than the little girl he took under his wing.
She wondered if Erik would one day write her poetry as Nadir had for Madam Giry. 'What are you thinking, Miss Daae that would pull your attention from that much read and adored volume?' Erik asked indicating the well thumbed and loved copy of Beauty and the Beast that she held.
Christine smiled at Erik unable to stop the reddening of her cheeks. 'I was thinking about Madam Giry and Nadir. Did you know Nadir wrote poetry?' Christine prevaricated hoping Erik apportioned the reason for her blush to being caught out day dreaming.
'The Daroga a poet?' Erik scoffed. 'I find that hard to believe. What sort of poetry?' Erik asked intrigued.
'Romantic poetry.' Christine giggled, at Erik's expression.
'Romantic poetry? Nadir? I am shocked. When did you discover this?' Erik asked, frowning having never considered the Persian to have a romantic streak.
'When we were at Madam Giry's for my early birthday party I noticed a letter on the table. Nadir saw me looking at it and just smiled at me. I guess he does not know I can read Persian or I am very sure he would not let me have look.' Christine grinned. 'As it was, he soon came and moved it when he noticed my continued interest.'
'Well what did it say?' Erik asked, amazed that his old friend could still surprise him.
'It caught my interest as it was written in Persian and at first I only read it to satisfy curiosity to see if I could and well the part I saw I am fairly sure translates to…
Etta you are a treasure,
With you I am complete,
So let me kiss you my darling,
And sweep you off your feet.
So it appears Nadir is a bit of a poet.' Christine smiled delighted that Madam Giry and Nadir were so happy and trying to decipher, Erik's look.
'Indeed the Daroga has quite the turn of phrase. An unexpected skill in someone so usually reserved.' Erik remarked. 'Minette and Nadir do seem happy together.' Erik approved. Privately thinking that love had had softened his once austere friend. 'Though, Nadir has acquired the annoying habit of wearing a silly grin whilst humming.' Erik observed frowning.
'It is because he is in love.' Christine smiled, dreamily understanding how Nadir felt.
'Ah yes love. It is said to make fools of all of us.' Erik scorned, to hide, (if was honest with himself), the slight jealously he felt that, Nadir had found a family and happiness for a second time. When Erik himself would never know the experience even once.
'Is that what you think, Erik? That people in love are fools?' Christine asked crestfallen.
'I believe there are people who are meant to be together. Minette and Nadir for example. It would seem they were destined to be so but I also believe there are many forms of love. That 'being in love' per se is not for everyone.' Erik said thinking of his own worthless self.
'You don't think being 'in love' is something meant for you, Erik?' Christine asked, her heart in her throat.
'Christine I am a hideous monster, a reject. Yet I am the luckiest mistake alive as I am honoured to have your devotion and friendship. That in itself must be enough for a man such as I.' Erik confessed ashamed, of his looks, nature and of his secret reawakened longing. A wistful fantasy. One Erik believed he had long ago accepted that was never to be a possibility - to have a real family of his own. A yearning reborn of watching, Minette and Nadir so content together.
Christine had to fight not to burst into tears at his words and managed to marshal her hurt and concern into the only way she could express her feelings for him. 'Erik Destler that's enough! I will not have you talk about yourself that way. How many times must I tell you, that you are the most magnificent person I know? That any man with even half of your charm, looks, personality and intelligence would be the most sort after of men. Any woman you choose to trust your heart to, Erik would indeed be the luckiest girl alive.' Christine hotly defended.
'Ah Christine. What would I do without you?' Erik smiled at her, and brushed her hair behind her ear. 'You my friend are perhaps a little biased where I am concerned but I thank you none the less. I cannot entertain that any woman would want my heart much less my body but as I have no wish to find out I guess we will never know.' Erik said as, Ayesha jumped onto his lap. The cat missed and clawed Erik's leg, (causing him to wince), as she scrambled to get up and settled in his lap.
Christine wanted to shout out that SHE loved him. SHE hungered for his every look and touch but she knew for certain now, Erik was not ready to hear it. So she took a deep breath and drew on every acting skill she had, focused on the cat and laughed. 'Well that is a squandering of your prized self and a tragedy for the female populous. Why even, Ayesha finds you irresistible.' Christine managed to grin. Unable to stop the tiny slither of jealously that shot through her as, Erik began to stroke the cat.
Erik laughed. 'I am confident our feline friend here is most defiantly in the minority and is only creeping as it pleases her. Ayesha has become less of a shadow these last few months and only ever seeks us out now when she is after something.' Erik said, affectionately rubbing the purring cat behind the ears. Afraid to reveal to Christine the real reason, Ayesha had come to find them.
'In that case she must be hungry again. Though I am surprised as she has not been eating overly much these last few weeks.' Christine said as she focused on the cat, (desperately trying not to howl at Erik's words), and softly stroked Ayesha's sleek fur. Christine's hand travelled from the cats head down her side and Ayesha meowed and dug her claws once more into Erik.
'Well it seems she is impatient for more today. I will go and feed her.' Erik said and swiftly stood with the cat in his arms and strode away.
Christine quickly turned to avidly inspect and smell the roses nearest to her head in case Erik looked back and saw her tears. How could she be jealous of her own cat? Erik had always pretended he did not care for Ayesha but Christine knew Erik was devoted to the cat as she was herself. Christine wished Erik would let her as easily into his heart as he had the cat.
Christine would have been both offended and truly jealous if she did not understand why. Ayesha would never reject Erik. She would never lie to him, deceive or hurt him. Nor would she treat him any different to the way she treated anyone else. The cat accepted and loved Erik just as he was. Christine's heart ached that Erik could not see that Christine felt the same way.
Christine wished he would believe her when she told him that he was the centre of her world. Would he ever truly trust that she loved him? Would he ever be ready to know that she needed all of him now that her love had matured and deepened? Would Erik ever see that she hungered for him body and soul? Would he ever see that he belonged to her as she belonged to him?
Christine picked a rose from the bush as she thought of the letter that she had stowed in the bottom of her jewellery case these last two weeks. Nadir had given her the letter when she enquired if he would be able to get in touch with Marie Perrault to see if he could obtain the letter, Erik's mother had written to him. Nadir she found, had no need to get in touch with Ms. Perrault as he already had in his possession this letter.
Nadir had collected the letter when he retrieved Erik's documents after Madeleine Destler had died. Then he had battled with the decision whether to pass the letter onto Erik. Afraid it would cause his reclusive friend further pain, Nadir had decided to hold onto the letter and had admitted he had all but forgot he had it until Christine had mentioned it. Nadir had been more than relieved to pass the letter to Christine, along with the decision whether or not to give it to Erik. At first, Christine had been furious that Nadir had kept it hidden from Erik all these years but as the task to play delivery man passed to her, Christine realised it was not so simple.
Did Christine trust that Erik's mother, (who had done nothing but revile and reject Erik), truly had seen the error of her ways? Trust that, Madeleine had finally realised she really loved her son and written to tell him so? Or should Christine open it first and read it to make sure it would not cause Erik further hurt? Christine shied away from this as it felt like a betrayal of Erik's trust. She knew that if she should read it first, Erik would see it as a betrayal one way or the other. His self doubt was such that any tampering would make him doubt the content was real whether the letter contained a message of love or not.
What would it do to Erik if all his mother had written was just more vile malice? What if it was one last chance to poison him and hurt him with her venom? Though what if it really was, (what, Christine hoped and thought), a peace offering and at last an acknowledgment of love? Now as she kept the letter, Christine felt as if it was a sword of Damocles hanging over her head.
At first she had been zealous to find the letter to prove Erik's mother had indeed loved him. But now that she had the letter and could give it to Erik, Christine hid it away frightened of what it might contain. Twice she had gone to throw it into the fire, (better it burn then have, Erik suffer!), but both times she had returned the letter to the safety of her jewellery box. Surely Erik deserved to know his mother's last words to him? For better or ill, what right did Christine have to deny him this last message? Christine was still no nearer a decision now than before. She just knew that if the letter contained more bile it could push Erik away from her forever.
On the other hand if it was as, Christine prayed, a loving letter from a mother to a son surly that would help Erik? Maybe if he knew his mother loved him, accepted him, he might one day be able to see that Christine loved him too. Not just as a best friend and confidante but as a lover. Perhaps one day a wife?
Christine noticed she had shredded the leaves of the rose she held and now only one petal remained. He loves me. Christine hoped and prayed as she pulled the last petal from the bloom and let it float away on the breeze.
Erik was glad of the excuse to escape. Not wanting to continue the uncomfortable conversation about love or to have Christine heartbroken on her birthday. Erik felt uneasy about what he had said having not being entirely honest with Christine in either case but he had not really lied either. No, Erik had NO wish to find out what it would be like to stand before the women he loved and give her his heart. His experience with Luciana and the slave girls in Persia had drilled into Erik that no woman would ever want him. Erik never wanted any woman to hold such power or sway over him. So it was very simply - Erik would never allow himself to fall in love.
Ayesha mewed almost in sympathy to his unspoken thoughts. 'I know old girl.' Erik said softly stroking her head. 'You, Caesar, Sasha, Reza and of course my darling, Christine are the only one's who have ever truly accepted me. I am lucky to have had you all in my life. That is more love than I ever hoped to receive.' Erik smiled sadly, as he scratched behind her ear. Ayesha pushed her head against his hand and the cat gave a mewl of pain.
'Do not fret dear friend. I will not let you suffer as Sasha did for loving me. I will tell, Christine.' Erik said as the cat gave him an accusing look.
'I will. I promise. But not this week, eh?' Erik bargained with the cat, as he entered his study. Gently he set Ayesha down on his desk and opened a draw pulling out something, Erik thought he never have use of again. 'Who would have thought my addiction would have come in so useful?' Erik asked the cat as he drew a syringe full of the substance that once ruled his life. 'At least this helps.' Erik said as he carefully injected the cat. Ayesha gave a yelp as the needle went in. Then purred in relief a few moments later as the numbing morphine cocktail spread through her body. She turned and banged her head against Erik's hand and meowed.
'I know, my friend. The effects are lasting shorter and shorter and the morphine itself is also harming you. I promise, Ayesha. Once we are back at the Opera House I will tell her but please let Christine get over the one shock before she receives another. The attack, I fear affected her far more than she lets on and you know this will break her heart.' Erik said once more stroking the cat. He felt sick as he knew, Ayesha was now feeling with the drug in her system and could not stop the silent tears that fell from his eyes.
Erik stomach churned every time he thought of what might have happened to his angel and now he was also faced with losing another friend. It tore at him to see Ayesha suffer so. To once again lose a treasured friend. However Erik was used to death, pain and loss. He would survive. He always did. It was he telling, Christine that had him tied up in knots. His brave sidekick had always been strong and faced adversity head on but she was already haunted from the assailment by those mystery scum and this time it would be himself who caused her pain. So how in hell was he going to be able to tell Christine that there was no more he could do? Admit that he had failed them both! That he could not save… That her beloved Ayesha was dying!
Christine watched mesmerised as Erik's fingers danced over the keys of the piano. She could happily spend forever watching, Erik play. Erik always lost himself in the music and became one with whatever instrument he played. It was truly an inspiring thing to see. Christine could not help her grin as Erik sang. He had no idea how open and easy to read he was when he sang. How gorgeous he was and how he made Christine want to… She wanted to kiss him. The thought made Christine blush. She really had to focus! Erik continued to sing and Christine could not but help imagine how wonderful it would feel to have Erik press his lips to hers. Meg had told her how she got butterflies when she was with Garlan and Christine now understood just what Meg meant. Christine imagined what it would be like to kiss Erik. Have his hands move over her body as they did they piano. Erik she had no doubt could make her body, like he did her voice, soar…
'Christine Daae! This is important. You must know this inside and out so… Pay attention.' Erik barked.
'I am sorry, Erik.' Christine apologised, blushing profusely. It was not fair! Christine even found his temper arousing. She found herself wanting to kiss him just to see if she could distract him from his rant.
'What is the matter, Christine? You can sing this in your sleep. Yet you have been distracted for days, is something wrong? You are not still afraid after … what happened?' Erik asked, worried she was still agonizing over the attack. Or that he had somehow missed a newspaper and she had found out that the person she shot was dead. Erik had scoured the papers though and seen no notice to alert him of such.
'I… After what happened? Oh No, Erik nothing is wrong. I am alright, honestly.' Christine smiled to reassure him. Erik thought she was thinking about the attack. Perhaps should have been. Should have been more concerned and traumatised that she had almost been raped and had shot someone. Not just anyone but Raoul! Christine shuddered in revulsion as she did every time she thought of the events of that night but if she was honest with herself she had barely thought about it. Basically the only thing she did and had thought about since the attack was Erik. At first, Christine thought it was just because she was scared that she had craved the security, Erik's presence brought her but once Christine understood that she was 'in love' with Erik. She realised it was just a need to have the Phantom himself at her side that she ached for. Christine felt Erik's gaze, thankful he could not truly read her mind. She turned to look out the window.
'Yet you do not seem to be enjoying, or rather should I say focusing on our lessons as you usually do. Are you not enjoying them anymore?' Erik asked, suddenly terrified it he that was the problem. That she was no longer happy with him. Erik stood and caught Christine's hand drawing her gaze back to his to read her eyes. The fear that she would one day leave him constantly whispering in his ear.
'NO! Erik you know I love our singing lessons. I adore when we sing together, angel. This week has been wonderful just the two of us, alone, practising.' Christine beamed, squeezed and released his hand, frowning. 'Its just… Well I know I can sing this and I know I must practice but … With Hannibal being the next production we are to perform it just rankles that I will once again have to dance in the ballet, whilst I have to listen to Carlotta massacre a role I know I could do much better. Please don't think me arrogant, Erik. I know I have still much to learn but I know I would make a much better Elissa than Carlotta.' Christine fumed, pleased she could channel her unfulfilled fantasies into a gripe that really did annoy her.
'I totally agree. Which is why you musty practise and be ready to perform.' Erik grinned at her relieved that it was frustration at being unable to perform rather than himself that she was displeased with. Especially with the surprise he had in store.
'What do you mean? Why must I be ready? Is Carlotta leaving?' Christine asked hopefully.
'Regrettably, Carlotta will be with us for a while longer.' Erik said sadly but unable to hide the sparkle in his eye.
'She is not… Then why must I practice. If Carlotta is to sing then…' Christine asked, for Erik to interrupt.
'I said she is not leaving. I never said she would sing.' Erik openly grinned now.
'What so you mean? Carlotta not sing? What are you up to, Erik?' Christine asked suspiciously.
'Me? Up to?' Erik asked innocently.
'Erik Destler, you are teasing me. You know full well you are planning something? Is that why, Debienne and Poligny have been scurrying about? Has the Phantom been delivering notes again?' Christine asked.
'I am sure I don't know what you mean?' Erik grinned to soften the lie. He did not want to tell, Christine of his plans as there were still a few unknown elements he had formulate into his schemes but if all went as he hoped soon 'La Daae' would be the toast of Paris.
'You do too. I am sure you are plotting something. Why else would, Carlotta not sing? What are you up to, Erik?'
'Don't you trust me, Christine?' Erik asked coyly.
'Of course I trust you, angel. I just want to know what is going on. Please, Erik?' Christine entreated.
'All I will say is you can expect some changes when we return to the Opera House.' Erik conceded, unable to resist her plea.
'Changes? What changes, Erik?' Christine asked intrigued.
'Changes that mean you have to perfect Elissa's part before we return.' Erik replied enigmatically.
'And you won't tell me what changes or why I am to be faultless on Elissa's part?' Frustrated Christine read Erik's silent refusal and knew she would get no more out of him. Her seesawing emotions overcame her and Christine stamped her foot in temper. 'Well I don't see the point in my mastering the role when no one will ever hear me sing it. No matter what you are hatching, Carlotta will never let me sing in her place.' Christine yelled, bitter tears in her eyes.
'You do not believe I will help you realise your dream?' Erik asked mock offended, amused at her outburst.
'No. I know you will do all you can to further my singing career, Erik. I just hate that you keep me in the dark.' Christine pouted prettily.
'Indeed you can count on it but the less you know of the how the better.' Erik grinned.
'Oh you are impossible.' Christine snapped and stamped her foot and fighting back tears.
'I cannot be impossible as I stand before you. I can be improbable but not impossible.' Erik smiled, innocently.
Christine's heart skipped a beat. She didn't know whether to laugh, cry or just throw her arms around Erik and kiss him. How could she be mad at him when he looked at her like that. His grin made feel unsteady on her feet, whilst his innocent pleading look melted her heart.
'Christine, please trust me.' Erik said softly wiping an escaped tear from her eye.
'Oh Erik, of course I trust you.' Christine sighed and gave into the urge to throw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Erik returned the embrace and she sensed the moment he became uncomfortable. Never wanting to let go, Christine reluctantly gave Erik one last squeeze before she released him. 'Well at least promise me you won't go hurting, Carlotta so I can sing in her place, Erik?' Christine asked grinning to ensure he knew she teasing and was delighted to hear Erik laugh.
'I promise, Christine. No diva's will be harmed in the making of your career. You will get your moment to shine, angel.' Erik smiled.
Christine could not help but return his grin. 'I am sorry, Erik. I do not mean to be ungrateful. I know you would do anything for me but along with a fervent wish to perform on stage I worry about you. I could not stand it if anything happened to you.' Christine said. At least she could be honest in this.
'Ah Christine. Please don't fret. I promise all is in hand.' Erik smiled.
'And you promise to be safe?' Christine beseeched.
'I swear it.' Erik vowed smiling. His hand held over his heart. Secretly thrilled that she worried about him so.
Christine was annoyed that he refused to reveal his scheming but at the solemn yet sensuous look in his eye she became breathless, weak at the knees and forgot momentarily what is was they were talking about.
The air sizzled between them, both lost in the others gaze as they unconsciously moved closer to the other. When Ayesha jumped up onto the piano, making a discordant noise as she walked along the keys, meowing.
The sound drew both their gazes. 'Ayesha is right. We really should get back to our lesson.' Erik said as he took a deep breath to clear his head. He retook his seat at the piano and settled the cat on his lap.
'Yes, Erik.' Christine said. Ashamed of the dart of jealously she felt watching Erik stroke the cat.
'Elissa's aria at the end of act three then.' Erik instructed playing her introduction and Christine took a deep breath and began to sing.
'Think of me, Think of me fondly, When we've said goodbye…'
Christine sang and Erik soon become lost in her glorious voice. She was magnificent and soon all of Paris would know. The Phantom had been meticulous in the threats he made to old acquaintances and new. Erik was satisfied he had things well in hand and all was going according to his plan. Erik just wished his chaotic emotions could be as ordered as his theatre was. He was still no nearer to explaining this deeper magnetic pull he felt toward Christine at times.
'Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade,
They have their seasons, so do we,
But please promise me that sometimes,
You will think of…' Christine harmonised. 'Of me.'
Like now when she sang like an angel. Erik felt goose bumps at her sublime singing and shook his head. 'Again, Christine.' he ordered, and was pleased that other than an eye roll and deep sigh she obeyed. He did not understand these perplexing feelings but one thing he was sure of, providing Christine was happy at his side, he would eventually figure it out. Erik met Christine's gaze as she sang and felt again his heart race. He took a deep breath and banished his puzzling thoughts.
Erik had no time for the conundrum now as he knew they had to practice and focus on Christine's debut. They had a rough time ahead as Christine was yet to learn of Ayesha's fate. Erik just hoped with what he had planned that Christine would be as excited as he and they would both be distracted from the impending loss of their beloved four legged friend.