"What are we doing Hannah Jane? We shouldn't be doing this…you're still married to Ray." They had met for lunch at Hannah's to talk but had ended up in bed. "I love you Nick..." He kissed her in a way that made her head spin. "I love you too…I don't want it to be like this…You and Sam….I want us to be together." She sat up to get out of bed and grabbed her robe. She was avoiding him. Afraid. Hannah couldn't commit to him if he would just leave again. "You're afraid." He said as he grabbed her and pulled her back down on the bed. He held her so close, and looked deeply into her eyes. "I promise you Hannah, I'm not leaving. I'm through running away…." The front door opened and woke Hannah from her sleep. It was just a dream. He wasn't here with her. Holding her. Telling her he would never leave. She sat up in her chair and put her book down. "Hey buddy." She said as Sam walked through the door. "Hey mom." Sam walked over and sat on the ottoman in front of her. "Are you ready for the play next week?" Hannah said as she gave him a kiss. "Yeah. Jack and I are Indians so that's pretty cool. Doodie is one of the pilgrims. I think it will be fun." She smiled at him, but her dream was still on her mind. She looked at the clock. "You know Sam, I want to go see Janet. Do you want to go?" He got up and headed to the kitchen. "That's ok, Doodie's coming over to play video games." She didn't even stop to call. Just grabbed her jacket and headed out the door. The walk did her good. It helped her clear her mind and get her thoughts together.
"Hannah…what brings you by today?" Janet opened the door with a baby in arms and a smile on her face. "Come in." It was Saturday and Eddie was gone to check on Phil and the guys. "I was about to lay Shelby down for a nap. We can have some coffee and talk for a while." Hannah shook her head and held out her arms. "Let me put down. I never get to spend time with her anyway. You go make coffee." Hannah took Shelby and headed to the little nursery. She sat in the rocker and enjoyed a few moments with Shelby till she drifted off to sleep. She missed these times. Walking into the kitchen, she found Janet at the table pouring coffee for them. "What's on your mind Hannah Jane?"
They talked for the next hour. Hannah told Janet about her dream that afternoon and mostly her fears. "Janet…what if I end my marriage and commit to Nick, and he leaves or something? What if he is just acting sixteen again?" Janet put her mug on the table and looked at her friend. Poor Hannah. So confused and such a mess when it came to Nick. "Hannah, I have wanted to say this to you since Nick came back to the Ridge." Hannah rolled her eyes. "I know Janet, you have told me. I'm in love with him and I need to admit it. I have. It doesn't change the fact I love Ray, and it doesn't change that fact that Nick doesn't know what he wants." Janet just shook her head and smiled at Hannah. "That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about following your heart, not your mind." Hannah put her head in her hands. Janet touched her arm and continued. "Hannah…you are in love with Nick. For everything he is, and everything he isn't. You always have been, and you say you feel the same about Ray, but you don't. You love the way Ray makes you feel. Safe, and secure. Controlled." Hannah looked at her with tears running down her face. "The thing is Hannah, those things don't last, but if you can tell me that you are desperately in love with Ray and want to spend the rest of your life with him, then I will support you one hundred and ten percent." Hannah sat back in her chair and gathered her thoughts. "I can't tell you that Janet." She started to cry and Janet did what she could to comfort her. "I'm so sorry. So sorry you have to go through this." Hannah took a sip of coffee and composed herself. "What about my vows Janet? Ending this with Ray would be a very big decision." Janet thought about what she said and chose her words carefully. "You know I believe in commitment and I think marriage is sacred, but at the same time, I do not feel we are supposed to live in misery. Yes, it's wrong for you to be sleeping with Nick, but Ray's no saint. He's been in this relationship for his own selfish reasons." Hannah nodded in agreement. She knew his love was centered around control. "But what if…" Janet held her hand and stopped her. "You cannot allow yourself to love Nick and end your marriage based on what his reaction will be. His choices. Sometimes you have to let yourself love someone without any hopes or expectations. If you don't allow yourself that at least once in your life, you'll never know what true love really is."
Nick walked through the door of Best Friend Windows, and Eddie could tell he had a lot on his mind. He was late coming back from lunch, but that had become a habit the past few months. Janet had told him about her conversation with Hannah on Saturday. "What goes on Nicky?" Eddie said as Nick sat at his desk. Nick looked out the window and shook his head. "I can't do this anymore man." Eddie looked at him concerned. "Everything ok? You're dad is still doing ok isn't he?" Eddie knew what was wrong, but he wasn't going to bring it up. Nick got up from his desk and made sure no one was in store room or the rest of the shop. Walking back up front he stood in front of Eddie's desk with his arms folded. "Hannah and I have been…sleeping together." Eddie looked at him and Nick could tell from the look on his face it was no surprise. "Oh my gosh, is it that obvious? You don't look surprised at all." Eddie stood up and walked around his desk to face Nick. He had a slight smile on his face. "You forget…I sleep with the best friend." Nick nodded in agreement, and then looked at Eddie with worry on his face. "You and Janet…you haven't told anyone have you? If this gets back to Ray…" Shaking his head, Eddie reassured him, "No Nick. No one. You need to be careful Nicky. If Ray finds this out… he will kill you." Nick knew he was right. "I've tried to end it. So many times I have called or gone to see her with the idea of ending it, but… I can't." Eddie shook his head. "I know you can't Nick. Hannah's you're soul mate, your best friend. When you find that…it's impossible to shake." Nick looked at him knowing that he spoke from experience. The door to the shop opened. Nick and Eddie turned to see Hannah standing in the sunlight. "Hey guys…Nick, can I talk to you for a minute? Maybe we can take a walk?" Eddie looked at Nick and then at Hannah."No…stay here. I was just going to the coffee shop." He patted Nick on the shoulder and headed out the door.
The door closed and Hannah walked to Nick. It had felt like an eternity since he had seen her, yet only an hour ago… "Hey…I should have talked to you at lunch, but…" He smiled. "We were a little busy." She blushed and turned her head. "Hannah…you ok?" Nick wanted so much to hold her again. He had tried to be so careful. What if Ray or one of his goons saw them? "Nick, I went to see my lawyer this morning. I filed for divorce." He looked at her and almost spoke. "I'm not expecting anything from you Nick. That's not why I'm doing this. It's over with Ray…it never should have happened…" He kissed her. Not caring that anyone from the street could see them.