Chapter Thirty-Seven:

In Which Our Hero Makes a Stupid Decision

Shepard was tearing up the simulator.

From where she stood on the observation deck, Ashley whistled. "I knew he was good," she said to no one in particular, "but this is something else."

It was one thing to blast bad guys while in the thick of things with Shepard and quite another to stand back and watch him. To be honest, it was a bit depressing. She hoped it wasn't the biotics that gave Shepard that incredible edge. If it was, she'd have to resign herself to the fact that she'd never be that good; he had to have broken at least four high scores so far.

Most of the other crewmembers were taking turns in one of the simulators, running through scenarios and challenging each other to contests. Much as she was itching to try Pinnacle's programs, Ashley had spent all of her time on the station watching the commander.

Tali and Dr. T'Soni's accounts of what had passed between Shepard and the batarians on the Terra Nova research asteroid had spread through the Normandy's crew like wildfire. Shepard had seemed more or less his usual self the one time she'd bumped into him during the trip to Pinnacle, but Ashley wasn't reassured.

As Shepard completed this scenario—another high score broken—and pulled off his helmet, Ashley glimpsed a near-smile on his face. If she hadn't been hoping for the expression, she would have missed it, but that hint of smile let her relax slightly. She hadn't been able to look away from the commander's scenarios, convinced that the minute she let her guard down, something would go wrong and he'd get himself killed. Everyone said that it was impossible to die in the sims, but she wasn't willing to take that chance.

Now though…. Ashley decided to put her name on the list of crewmembers waiting to use the combat chamber reserved for Normandy personnel and bumped into Garrus when she turned. "What gives, Vakarian?"

The turian shrugged. "Apologies, Chief Williams. Listen, I know you're watching Commander Shepard, but I think you're going to want to see this. Lieutenant Alenko challenged Dr. T'Soni to a contest: biotics only, whoever racks up the most kills before 'dying' wins." The expression on Garrus' face shifted; Ashley could have sworn his next words were meant to tease. "There's a—what is that word—ah, yes. Scuttlebutt says that you and the doctor don't get along. I thought you might be interested in the contest."

"I get along with everyone, Vakarian. Including you. Which is not the easiest thing."

Garrus laughed. "You are incredibly amiable, Williams. I don't know what I could have been thinking. I'm sure you and the doctor get along famously… when no one's looking."

Ashley grinned, and followed Garrus back to the main knot of Normandy crewmembers. "So Lieutenant Alenko really challenged the doctor?" she asked disbelievingly. "Really? You're not putting me on?"

"Putting you on what?"

"Never mind."

Garrus was telling the truth; when Ashley walked over to where Kaidan was waiting for the simulation to load, she found him adjusting his armor. "You challenged the doctor?"

"I figured she could use a distraction and I could use the practice. You gonna put your name down and take a try? Garrus ended up with twelve headshots and thirty kills for the sniper program. None of us have beaten him yet…."

"You don't need to appeal to my patriotism; I was coming over to put my name down anyway. Shepard's running survival scenarios, and I figure he'll be okay without me watching him… at least for a little while."

"You worry about him." Kaidan's expression was thoughtful as he tightened his gloves.

She made a face. "I worry about any superior officer teetering on the edge. God forbid anything happens to you and Pressly, I'd lose my fragile grip on reality."

Kaidan opened his mouth, probably to say something reassuring, and the entrance light on the combat chamber turned green. He bit back whatever ego-booster he'd been prepping and headed into the simulator.

"'Luck, LT!" Ashley called after him. He turned back and gave her a thumbs-up before the door slid shut.

Ashley joined a cluster of marines from the Normandy that included Quincy, Harper, and Clinton, to watch the contest.

"Fifty credits says the doctor wipes the floor with the lieutenant," Quincy offered. "Odds are three to one that she beats him outright, five to three that she racks up at least twenty more kills than he does."

"I'll take that bet: fifty credits that she loses to the lieutenant."

Ashley would be the first to admit that she was mostly ignorant about biotic techniques. Before being stationed on the Normandy she'd only encountered biotics for the first few weeks of basic, the period of communal training that occurred before the biotics were separated and sent elsewhere for specialized instruction. While working with Shepard and Alenko, she'd only noted that they had more options for taking down hostiles than 'shoot until movement stops.' Watching Kaidan and Dr. T'Soni in the simulator gave her a new appreciation for their abilities. Although the two competitors differed in the gestures they used to focus their mass effect fields, each tried to conserve motion, concentrating on speed and efficiency. As the body count began to climb, Ashley was forced to admit that biotics might actually be more effective than guns.

Quincy agreed. "Good thing there's a program to keep count of the kills. I don't think I'd be able to do it on my own."

"Hm."

"Wouldn't have thought the doctor had enough guts to have take down as many as she has."

"Yep."

"Not in the mood to talk, Chief?"

"Sorry. I've never seen biotics let loose like this. It explains why the Alliance tries to push them into the military."

"Couple hundred years ago, they'dve burned biotics at the stake for being witches. Can't say I'd blame them. Gives me the creeps," Quincy admitted. "Hey look! The doctor's down! Holy crap! She lost!"

Ashley was surprised; from what she knew, human biotics couldn't typically compete with trained asari. Still, she felt herself grin, and ignored the part of her mind telling her it was wrong to be happier that T'Soni had lost than that Kaidan had won. "If you need to wait until you get your next paycheck to cover our bet, I'll be more than happy to give you a couple extra weeks to pay me back."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get you your credits when we get back on the ship." Quincy moved away, ducking other Normandy crewmembers. Ashley wondered whether he'd be able to cover all his bets, and decided not to press him if he didn't get her the cash. Dumb kid. She watched as Kaidan helped the doctor to her feet and said something to make her smile. It was hard to believe that a few minutes earlier, the two of them had been glowing and destroying things. How did they keep a damper on that power all the time? No wonder Shepard used biotics to rip his cabin apart. It must be so much more satisfying than just throwing—

"Shepard!" The voice that derailed Ashley's train of thought was as rough as its owner's face. She turned in time to see Shepard salute the speaker.

"Admiral Ahern, sir. I was wondering if you'd retired somewhere. I've been waiting to talk to you for a couple hours."

"Ah well. When they told me there was a Spectre here wanting to talk to me, they didn't tell me it was you." Ahern gestured towards the scoreboards. "Looks like you made good use of the time, though. What can I do for you?"

"These sims are all right," Shepard began, "but the last time I was here you said you were working on more practical simulations. I was hoping you might have something new I could try. What about something from the Blitz? Or maybe the ground action on Mindoir?"

Alarm bells went off in Ashley's head. There was no way to pretend that wanting to relive the day his entire family had been killed was a healthy coping mechanism.

"Mindoir?" Ochren, the grouchy salarian who monitored Pinnacle Station's simulators, scoffed. "There wasn't any ground action on Mindoir. The troops stationed there holed up in the main city, and barely managed to save that. Every unimportant little town and farm was destroyed. Nothing to learn from Mindoir."

Shepard's body went rigid; a flicker of biotic energy ran down his arm. Before he could respond, Admiral Ahern intervened.

"If you think you're up to it, I've been working on something you might be interested in. A reenactment of one of my missions from the First Contact War. Me and a small squad held off a turian ambush. Haven't thought any of the current generation would be up to it, even with these safety protocols to coddle you…. What with everything you've done today, Shepard, maybe you'd want to test it? I have to warn you, you'd be ridiculously outnumbered, no cover to speak of. It was the ultimate worst case scenario. No worries though, it'd only be a simulation. No real danger."

Rank be damned. Ashley wanted to punch Ahern. Why was he goading Shepard?

"Then make it harder," Shepard said. "Turn up the difficulty; turn off the safeties."

Ahern laughed. "No safeties? Highest difficulty? Not only would the program beat you, but then I'd have to explain how a Spectre died on my station. Dream on, kid."

"If it's as hard as you say, put your credits where your mouth is. Unless you're afraid of losing bragging rights to the only decent war story you have?"

"Watch what you say, Shepard!" the admiral snapped. "I don't mind a friendly wager… but not credits. I don't have enough to spare as it is. Tell you what, though. I've got a nice little retirement place on Intai'sei. I'm never retiring, and I never go there. Beat the sim, and it's yours."

"Done." Shepard held out a hand to Ahern.

"Not so fast. I put up my house. What're you wagering?"

"My life." The commander said it as though he was commenting on the weather.

"The admiral hesitated, and Ashley thought for a moment that he'd come to his senses. "So… you really want the safeties off? If you die, it's getting logged as user error. I won't lose my job over this."

"Just set it up."

Ahern grinned and shook the commander's hand. "Get your ground team together. No more than five… that's how many I had with me. I'll make sure Ochren gets the new settings."

"I've beaten all the other programs on my own, sir."

"I just got through agreeing to turn off the safeties and up the difficulty. I'm not letting you in there without backup."

"It would be irresponsible of me to take members of my crew in there, Admiral."

"More irresponsible than going in there in the first place, Spectre?"

"I—"

"I'll go." The words were out before Ashley could think.

"There you go, Shepard. A volunteer. Was that so hard?" Ahern moved away. "I'd say good luck," he called back over his shoulder, "but you'll need a lot more than that."

Author's Note: First off, special thanks to Neutral Ground who did an amazing job of beta'ing this chapter for me. (I'm currently looking for a regular beta reader, in case anyone is interested/knows someone who'd be interested). Apologies for the unannounced delays, things in my life have been insane recently. As such, I'm not making any promises about returning to a regular update schedule until at least mid-May. Try not to hate me!