PD – Chapter 38

Steve has been listening to the low chatter in the background for quite some time now, but he is still not able to make out the different voices or what they are saying. Somewhere above and to the left of him is a low beeping sound that he finally identified as a heart monitor. He is a bit annoyed by the mask that is sitting snugly over his mouth and nose, providing him with oxygen. But his arm just won't obey him enough to try and pry it off. His whole body feels completely limp.

If the numb feeling of his body is any indication, he is on strong pain medication and probably muscle relaxants as well. He'd bet he would be considered 'high' in everybody's book. That is probably one of the reasons why he can't make out the voices still softly talking. They are familiar, but it just won't fall into place.

Since he hasn't opened his eyes yet, or even tried to, he doesn't know that he is in a private room of the intermediate care unit. Although it's a step down from the ICU, he is still listed as 'serious but stable'. The new location allowed for more and longer visits by his friends and they had practically camped out in his room ever since he had been transferred here last night.

Steve hasn't been awake since he was taken off the ventilator and had suffered a severe seizure right after. That was two days ago. Since then he'd had three more seizures, but the last one was a full twenty four hours ago. The consulting specialist is very hopeful that it was indeed the last one.

Steve remembers vaguely coming awake before and that there was a major talking to him, but it's only a glimpse of a memory he can barely hold on to. He has no idea where in the world he is and why he landed in a hospital. There is no memory of any event that would lead to ending up in a hospital bed in obviously serious condition.

The last thing he clearly remembers is… he's not even sure about that. There are flashes he remembers. He knows he had an argument with Danny, but has no idea about what, but feels sad and angry about it. And he remembers a huge fight with Catherine, but feels relieved and happy about her. So he thinks they made up, even though he can't remember it. And he remembers being mad at JoJo for something he doesn't know. That disturbs him greatly, because he has never been at odds with her before.

And he remembers taking a swim in the harbor after getting hit by a car, which looked oddly familiar. But the memory was so quickly gone that he couldn't grasp what had really happened. He also remembers that they were investigating a murder and that JoJo had something to do with it. It is all very confusing and it doesn't really help that the more he thinks about it, the more his head hurts.

Steve can now make out three different voices, two women and a man. But he still doesn't know who the voices belong to. He sighs and it seems that he actually made a noise, because suddenly the voices are a lot closer and louder than before.

They seem to address him, coaxing him to open his eyes. But he really doesn't want to do that. It would require such energy and Steve's not sure he can muster it. But the voices are very persistent. He can still only understand every other word or even less.

Steve slowly turns his head to the left, toward the gentle prodding voice of a woman. He knows that voice but he just can't place it without a face to it. He is a bit worried about how hard it is for him to think, it worries him that he can't really process what is happening around him.

He blinks his eyes open and tries to get the blurry vision into focus. After a few moments he can see more than just distorted shapes.

"Steve, can you hear me?" Catherine's voice travels to his ear.

"Hmm," Steve tries to answer, but the mask keeps him from more than a mumbled reply. Which is fine with him, since he isn't able to do much more than that anyway.

"We are so happy to see you awake," Cath bends down a bit more and gives him a gentle kiss on the forehead, which makes him close his eyes again. "Steve?"

He lazily opens his eyes again, but they are already closing again before they are even completely open. "Wha' happen'?" Steve's question is again seriously muffled by the mask, but he hasn't made a move to remove it yet. That is something he would normally have done first thing after waking up.

"You got shot. You remember anything about that?" The male voice asks him. He is too far from the bed to see him clearly, and without the face to the voice Steve doesn't know who he is.

Steve is getting distressed, not only by the question he has no answer to, but most of all that he can't place the voices without seeing the speaker. Something seems seriously wrong about that.

"Steve, what is it? Are you in pain?" Catherine gets worried when Steve suddenly appears so restless and the heart monitor beeps in alarm after his heart rate speeds up.

He calms down instantly though when he finally recognizes Danny as the speaker from just a moment ago. "Danny?"

"Hey it's okay, calm down. You will be fine. You will remember when you're more alert," Danny keeps talking as he steps around the bed to make room for the nurse that came into the room after the alarm went off.

"Commander, you're awake. That is good, I'm going to get the doctor," the nurse says and is gone as fast as she came into the room.

"Cath?" Steve tries to get his arm to move to finally get the damn mask off his face, but he just can't do it. Which again results in a mild panic. "Can't move," he barely gets out, exhausted from his slight struggle to move.

"It's okay, Steve. They gave you a lot of drugs, don't try to move. You will be fine, I promise. It's just the drugs. Try to relax," Catherine bends down low and speaks soothingly to him while she has her hand gently on his forehead.

The contact calms him down a little and Steve closes his eyes again. He is so darn tired.

"Steve, try to stay awake for a minute. Can you do that?" Cath urges him to fight against the pull sleep already has on him.

"Tired," Steve is sure he couldn't open his eyes again even if his life depended on it.

"I know you're tired, the doctor will be here in a minute. Just hang in there a moment longer."

"Okay."

They all watch Steve struggle to stay awake, but it's clear that he will lose any second now. And they only have to wait a moment before his breathing evens out and he is back to sleep.

"He recognized us. That's good, right?" Danny looks at JoJo, who hasn't said a word because she thought more people talking would have overwhelmed Steve. It seemed that two has been almost too much for him to handle.

"I think so, Danny. He seemed lucid to me. A bit slow, but I think that is due to the drugs," JoJo tells them and hopes that her assessment was right. "Let's wait for what his doctor has to say."

They don't have to wait long. Army Captain Donald Haven comes to see his patient. Haven is very young, but also a very committed and bright doctor. All of them instantly liked him and felt that Steve was in good hands with him. Danny especially liked him, because he was not a military guy; he entered the Army after he finished his residency in a hospital in Chicago. He didn't act or talk like the doctors with a military career behind them.

"The nurse said the commander was awake?" Captain Haven asks as he checks Steve's vitals and adjusts the pump that delivers his medication on a schedule. "Was he lucid?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I think he had a bit of trouble understanding who was talking to him, but after a moment he named LT Rollins and Detective Williams correctly. He asked about what happened, and he got agitated when he couldn't move," JoJo recounts Steve's short wakefulness.

"I lowered the muscle relaxant. That will help with the lack of feeling of his body. It can be unnerving to not feel much. I also lowered his pain medication," when he sees them starting to object, he is quick to continue. "I promise he won't be in pain, I just want him to become a bit more alert next time he wakes up. I'm only dialing back on the heavy narcotics."

"But he won't be in pain?"

"Lieutenant, we can't make him totally pain free, for that we would have to knock him out. But he will be comfortable, any pain he might experience will be mild. Later on, when he is more stable and we lower his medication, his pain level will increase. But that is not avoidable with this kind of injury. At some point he needs to sit up and later get out of bed; that will hurt, but we will make him as comfortable as possible."

They are all satisfied with that for now and watch Dr. Haven complete his examination and promise him to call as soon as Steve shows signs of waking again.

*~* *~* *~* Hawaii Five-0 *~* *~* *~*

So, guess you did it again. Damn. Ended up in a hospital. And it looks like you're really hurting this time. Steve muses silently while he is trying to figure out what kind of injuries he suffered. He is sure that he took a bullet to his back or abdomen, he's not quite sure which. There is the same mild throbbing in his right lower back and his front. Probably got through. That did some serious damage for sure then.

Steve has seen enough gunshot wounds up close and personal to know what kind of damage a bullet to the abdomen does. It's not a pretty sight. That low are a lot of intestines, and getting hit there will make a mess.

Steve tries to move his arm down to touch his hurting right side just above his belt, but halts every movement when a fierce pain shoots into his shoulder caused by the minuscule movement he made. It feels like a hot poker is stabbing high in his right shoulder. The pain goes all the way to his back, cycles back all over the right side of his chest and travels down his arm. The pain travels with lightning speed and it feels like his shoulder explodes in white hot pain.

He feels darkness descending, and fights against the pull unconsciousness has on him. Steve tries not to move and to only take very shallow breaths. After a minute the incredible pain recedes and leaves an intense but bearable throbbing to the rhythm of his heartbeat. It now feels like someone is hitting him on the same spot over and over again. After a while it is down to a dull pain that is no longer separated but is a constant reminder of his injury.

Don't try that again. Steve tries to relax a bit more, he practically melts into the mattress and tries very hard to ignore the aching right shoulder. Instead he concentrates on his left side, which seems not to be injured or hurt. He doesn't dare yet move his arm, even though he would love to remove the itching nasal cannula that is providing him with oxygen. But he fears his assessment is wrong and another wave of intense pain would hit him. He is sure he wouldn't be able to fight a wave like the last one again. So he is content for the moment to revel in the feeling of an intact arm and side.

Steve is a bit concerned that his legs and lower body feel so very heavy that he doesn't even try to move either of his legs. He can clearly feel a very annoying tube in a very unpleasant place. Which pisses him off even more than the injuries. He hates that thing with a passion. That has to go. Sooner rather than later. Steve realizes for that to happen he needs to open his eyes and voice his discomfort to a nurse or anyone who will listen.

Maybe opening my eyes would help figure out what the heck happened. He remembers having been awake before, but it's all really hazy. The last he clearly remembers is joking with JoJo in the elevator about listening to a bunch of shrinks all day. He remembers that the door opened and there is just nothing after that.

Steve is vaguely aware that he was a lot more confused the last time he was awake; then, he had no idea where he even was or why he wasn't in Hawaii. Now everything up to the point of him and JoJo in the elevator is back. The thought of not knowing if something happened to JoJo finally helps him open his eyes.

The sight that greets him makes him smile despite the pain he's in. Next to his bed sits Danny in a chair, fast asleep. He is listing dangerously to the side and Steve wonders how he manages to not fall off. Steve takes a moment to study his friend. Danny has a dark graze on his temple that provokes a flash of memory for Steve. He sees Danny jumping in front of him as Levin fires his gun. Steve cringes remembering the thudding sound Danny made on impact on the floor. Danny looks totally beat, like he hasn't slept in ages. Which he probably hasn't.

Steve takes a look around the room but can see that they are alone. He now also becomes aware that he is connected to all kinds of wires leading to monitors behind him. There are even wires attached to his head and he wonders what they are for. He turns his head back to the left and ponders how to wake his friend without startling him into falling off the chair.

Before he can even think about speaking he needs to gather at least a little bit of spit. His mouth feels like the desert, and come to think of it his throat hurts a little. 'Ventilator' is his conclusion. Thankful not to remember being on it, he tries his luck with calling out to Danny.

"D…" Jeez that was pathetic. Come on, you can do better than that. "Danny!" His weak call ends in a slight coughing fit that aggravates his shoulder and his groans of pain are what wakes his friend.

"Steve!" Danny jumps up, barely avoiding toppling over with the chair. "Here take some ice chips, they will help," Danny tells his friend as he offers him a spoonful of the cool chips.

Steve greedily takes the chips and they feel just heavenly going down his abused throat. They stop the coughing instantly, and he tries to lie still to keep his shoulder from any more movement. Another spoonful appears in front of him and that one he savors even more.

"Okay? You feel better?"

"Hmm, thanks," Steve croaks out. His voice seriously lacks. No wonder, after not being used for so long. How long exactly he has no idea though.

"You like some more?"

"No." Steve already feels a little nauseous, and he has no desire to get sick.

"Okay," Danny says while putting the cup with the ice back on the tray. "You, my friend, really know how to scare us to death."

"What?"

"You have any idea how close to dying you came?"

"You saved my life, Danny. Thank you." Steve looks at his friend and can clearly see that he has been more than scared.

"You remember what happened?" Danny asks in surprise. They were under the impression that Steve wouldn't remember much about what happened. That is at least what all the doctors have told them. Well, they also told you that Steve would die.

"Not really," Steve says as he closes his eyes to try and pull up more memories. "You took a bullet for me."

"Well, you had already taken two, you didn't need any more than that," Danny tells him with the first smile on his face in days.

"Thanks," Steve says and looks around the room. "Where's everyone?"

"JoJo and Cath are trying to catch some sleep, they will be back in a little while. How do you feel?"

"Tired," comes the answer. Steve has trouble keeping his eyes open, he wants to ask so many questions but somehow his brain is a jumbled mess and he's having a really hard time getting a sentence out. "Shoulder hurts… need… out." Steve's no longer able to keep his eyes open or to tell Danny about how uncomfortable he is. Finally he gives in to the pull sleep has on him.

*~* *~* *~* Hawaii Five-0 *~* *~* *~*