In times of need, the only one you can count on is yourself. And former president Barack Obama.
The words Obama's father had spoken to him with his mouth rang true inside his brain. I must count on myself. And former President Barack Obama thought former president Barack Obama.
Obama was at the hospital even though Obama wasn't sicks. But one of Obama's friends was. Rand Paul lay in the hospital bed, doctors surrounding him trying to make him better.
"Pass me the medical" said the Doctor.
The nurse handed it to his glove.
"Sir, we have a problem." said another doctor, "we can't get inside the patient's body!"
"THis is unprecedented," said the first doctor, "what be the issue?" The doctor was really good at doctor stuff.
"The body is rejecting all of our equipment," said the second doctor back to the first, "it's saying we need a warrant."
"This is most troubling," said a third doctor who was smoking in the back of the room, "we can't get a warrant unless there is probable cause that criminal activity is occurring within the man's body." He dramatically let out a puff of smoke into the room.
"Is there nothing medicine can do to bypass this issue?" said a fourth doctor.
"Medicine is a powerful tool, but the constitution of the United States holds a deeper power that is far more ancient and powerful than our archaic concept of medicine." said the third doctor, "I fear that his life is in the hands of such a power for the time being, unless of course, we discover sufficient evidence."
"Sir, I just did an X-Ray and there is an illegal marijuana in his stomach!" said the X-ray man.
"Fool!" the third doctor slapped him with his cigarette, "you know it is illegal to do an x-ray without the patient's consent. Also marijuana is legal in Washington state." The third doctor blew a smoke ring in the room.
Rand Paul's friends who were also there coughed in reaction to accidentally inhaling the smoke. There was nothing more they could do at the moment, so they left the room for some air.
"I can't help but think this is my fault" Obama said,
"That's because it is" said Bernie.
"I feel like I could have done something back then to prevent this. If only I had noticed it sooner." Obama finished.
"There's nothing you could have done," said Ron Paul knowingly, "It's best we move on and pray for Rand's speedy recovery.
"Surely we can't go on with only four people," said Jeb!, "5 is a much better number."
Suddenly a voic.
"Lets dispel this fiction that there is only four of us!"
Jeb! couldn't believe his ears, since they were pathological liars.
"Why, if it isn't my bro, Marco Rubio!" said Jeb! in an introducing way.
"It is good to see you my friend! ¿Cómo está la mano de perforación, amigo mío?" Marco responded.
"Still getting use, though I'm not sure that it's a good thing" said Jeb!. No one else was sure what he meant.
"Times like these call for such measures, I'm afraid. So anyways, I was thinking of joining you guys in your viaje!" Marco smiled, teeth glistening like thirty two white dwarf stars.
"I'm not sure this is a good idea," said Bernie.
"If you're a friend-o-Jeb!'s, then you're a freind-o-mine! Welcome aboard me amiibo!" Obama was practicing his spanish and had gotten pretty good.
"Wonderful! I'm glad everyone's on board!" said Jeb!, "as they say in my state, the more the merrier."
"Don't they say that everywhere?" asked Ron Paul.
"Yeah but also in my state"
"Nice"
"So, where are we off too next?" asked one of the five.
"Let me pull out my many maps," said Ron Paul.
Ron Paul pulled out his many maps, which he had kept with him on his person.
"We're in Washington, which is here, and we probably need to go to Washington, which is allll the way over here," he said pointing to the other side of the map of the 48 contiguous United States of America.
" I think the quickest way would to go like this," said Obama tracing a straight line between the two places.
"That is true, but it won't work," said Ron Paul, "Unless we can fly."
"I can fly, but only metaphorically, and also sometimes literally." said Obama.
"That's not flying, it's hovering, there's a difference." Ron Paul said in a libertarian tone of voice.
"You can't tell me what to do!" Enraged Obama grew wings and hovered away in the distance.
"Dios mío!" said Marco.
"How will we get him back?" Jeb! worried.
"We'll have to dispel this fiction that Obama can't fly!"
Everyone looked onward determined to prove that no dream was too big for their friend. Except Bernie, he stood shocked.
"Wait WHAT!"