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XXXVIII. Eclipse

Your love surrounds me, it's everywhere.

It is my shelter, it is my air.

A moon eclipsing the burning sun,

Making shade just for me.

~ Celine Dion, Shadow of Love

Sokka hated eclipses. Ever since Yue had sacrificed herself to become the Moon Spirit, he couldn't stand eclipses, or the new moon phase for that matter. When the moon was out, it gave him some comfort just knowing Yue was there, but when he couldn't see it, he felt as if he had lost her all over again. It was strange, but he couldn't really explain his feelings to anyone, not even Suki who tried to understand and make Sokka see that perhaps Yue was there even if he couldn't see her. He enjoyed the full moon phase a lot better. He and Suki would sit out at night and watch the moon and he'd tell her everything he could about Yue. The Kyoshi Warrior for her part, was never jealous of the Water Tribe Princess, and listened intently to all of Sokka's stories, while her heart went out to the princess who so nobly sacrificed herself to save her people.

Katara was the exact opposite. She didn't really enjoy the full moon phase because her waterbending was at its strongest and she was still cautious about bloodbending. It didn't affect her as it once had, but that wasn't to say it didn't affect her at all. After she had first been forced to learn the technique, she had spent countless nights staying up, feeling too nervous to sleep. For a long while, every full moon phase after that, her nights would pass in the same manner. She would lie awake in her room and stare blankly at something, trying to distract herself from thinking about bloodbending. Therefore, it was no surprise to Sokka that she loved eclipses and the new moon phase.

Despite all her complaining about the full moon and bloodbending, there was one thing Katara enjoyed. If nothing else, on those nights, she got to spend time with Aang, not that either of them needed an excuse to spend time together. But even if the two got little or no sleep, they enjoyed staying up at night and talking. And it was definitely much easier for Katara to forget all about her bloodbending when her mind was occupied by other things.

The night of the lunar eclipse found Sokka in a despondent mood, but Katara was reasonably happy. She was sorry her brother was feeling down, but it didn't do anything to ruin her cheerful mood. She really couldn't explain why she was so happy, but when Aang asked, she put it down to the waxing and waning of the moon as what affected her (and her bending).

"I'm beginning to think eclipses are unhealthy for waterbenders," Katara said to Aang as they strolled around. "I've got so much energy."

"Unhealthy for you, maybe," Aang said, grinning. "But I'm okay."

"You're the Avatar; you don't count," Katara said. "You're not just a waterbender."

Aang just laughed. "I think it's just you, Katara. I don't think it has anything to do with you being a waterbender."

"Who knows?" she asked, throwing her hands up. "But I feel like I have to do something or…"

"Or what?"

She shrugged. "Or I'll just die from boredom."

"You look too happy to look like you're bored," Aang laughed.

"I know," Katara replied, smiling. "If only Sokka could be happy." She said the last part wistfully and Aang turned to gaze at the lanky warrior talking with Suki and pointing to the moon every now and then. He felt sorry for Sokka and he wished he could do something, but he knew time was really all Sokka needed.

"I hope he's not still mad at himself for what happened to Yue," Katara said softly, watching her older brother's frame sag a bit as he spoke to Suki. "I've tried to tell him a thousand times it's not his fault, but he's stubborn."

"Must run in the family, then," Aang said, grinning. "Because you're not always so compliant either."

"I know," Katara chuckled. "But it's one of my most endearing traits."

The two burst out laughing.

"Still, I wish Sokka would cheer up a bit because when he gets depressed and starts thinking about Yue, I get depressed and…"

"And?" Aang prodded.

Katara sighed. "And I start counting the times I could have lost you."

Aang fell silent. By nature, he didn't like it when he worried anyone, but he hated it when he worried Katara. Now that the war was over, he was beginning to understand just often he had worried her and how worried she had been.

"So," he asked, venturing to know. "How many times was that?"

"Four," she replied, hollowly.

"Four?" he repeated. He could only think of one: the attack on the crystal catacombs in Ba Sing Se.

Katara nodded. "After the fight in the crystal catacombs in Ba Sing Se when you almost died, when you disappeared while we were sailing, the invasion on Day of the Black Sun, and Sozin's Comet."

"I guess there really are four," Aang said, somewhat surprised. He couldn't remember if the probability of death did anything to make him fight harder then. It certainly did now. "Sorry."

Katara looked up at him in surprise. "You're the one who almost got killed. What are you sorry for?"

He shrugged. "Making you worry, although three of those four times, I couldn't help it; I had to go."

"I know," she acquiesced. "It doesn't mean that I had to like it." She certainly hadn't liked it all those times she knew there was a possibility that he might not have returned. The aftermath of the fight in Ba Sing Se sometimes still gave her nightmares. Aang had almost died. The thought that he had been on the threshold of life and death had worried her sick then. She didn't need to dream bad dreams to be terrified, because her life had suddenly turned into a nightmare. Her belief in him was so strong, she hadn't paused to think what would have happened if he ever fell. She'd spent her childhood just dreaming the long-lost Avatar would return and save the world and he'd always seemed so powerful, that the idea of him dying seemed as ridiculous as the prospect of her firebending. But once they were on the stolen Fire Navy ship, and once she was left alone to heal him, the reality had hit her hard. In spite of everything, Aang might not have made it.

"I'm really sorry," Aang apologized again. "I know it mustn't have been easy on you."

Katara shrugged. "I don't know. I don't remember much because I usually block the bad memories out." She still hadn't told him everything about their failure in Ba Sing Se. When he has asked, she had made it a point to leave out how devastated she had been. For some reason, she feared he'd think she was weak if she revealed that her world had been shattered by his near death. She shuddered at the memories. She'd felt so helpless and alone, something she truly hated. It was as if her heart had stopped beating and she had stopped living all of a sudden. Just thinking about it made her cringe.

"Katara," Aang said, drawing her away from her gloomy trail of thoughts. "If you're going to waste your time worrying, why would you worry about me?"

Katara shot him an incredulous look. Because maybe I love you, she wanted to scream. Or maybe I need you more than I let either of us believe, or maybe because I simply care. "Why shouldn't I?" she demanded. "Am just supposed to let things happen?"

"I just assumed you'd be more worried about others. Besides, I can't stand it when people are worried about me."

"Even when I am?" she wondered.

"Especially when you are."

"Why?"

"Because the kind of worrying you do is unhealthy," he said, giving her a small smile. She grimaced, reluctant to admit that he had a point. In the days after their failure at Ba Sing Se, she had spent hours in solitary confinement, just thinking. She didn't remember eating or drinking, but knowing her family and friends, they must have forced her to at some point.

Aang sighed, noting her glum expression. "Why are we talking about this anyway?"

"I don't know," Katara sighed. "I just don't want anything bad to happen again. I think almost losing you four times is enough. But it's wishful thinking, right?"

Aang shrugged. "Bad things always happen to balance out the good things. At least, that's what the monks taught us. But hoping they don't is better than worrying. And if you're worried I'll run away again, you can stop now," He chuckled. "I think I've had enough running to last three lifetimes."

Katara wanted to smile, but she couldn't. "Oh great," she huffed, noticing the eclipse was finishing. "The eclipse is almost over and I'm all depressed now."

"Are you?" Aang wondered. Katara nodded. "I think I can fix that."

"And just like that, she was gone," Sokka said, sadly.

"I'm sorry," Suki said, as Sokka finished his story. "That one time, when you said you couldn't protect someone you loved, I thought you were being hard on yourself. And you know what?"

"What?" Sokka asked.

"I think you still are. It's not your fault Yue's gone."

"Maybe if I had been more convincing…"

"Sokka, being more convincing doesn't work on people like Yue. They do what they have to do no matter what. And at a time like that, during a siege, I don't think you being convincing would have helped."

Sokka sighed. "You're probably right. I still wish she hadn't done it, though."

"Maybe if things had been different…"

"Hold on," Sokka said, suddenly. "Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"

Suki just blinked. "I don't know. What?"

"You've spent the entire night listening to me talk about how much I liked Yue. You don't think you're a replacement for her, do you?"

"I didn't and I hope not," Suki said. "I think you're standards must have fallen if you're replacing a princess for me."

"You're not a replacement," Sokka said. "The nice thing about love is that you can always make more. Yue's special, but so are you."

Suki smiled. "Thanks, Sokka."

"Look," the warrior exclaimed, pointing to the sky where the eclipse was finishing. "It looks like it's a full moon tonight." Sokka smiled, suddenly realizing that even if the eclipses momentarily shielded the moon from view it didn't mean Yue wasn't there. As she had once said, she was always with him. And even if she wasn't, Suki always was. And as long as they were both around, Sokka didn't think he'd ever feel depressed again.

"It's beautiful," Suki said, gazing up at moon that hung in a sea of iridescent stars.

"It is," Sokka agreed, wholeheartedly before kissing her. "Just like you."

Across the estate, Aang and Katara sat side by side along the riverbank that ran along the house, watching fireworks light up the night sky as a village across the river celebrated a local holiday.

"Still feeling depressed?" Aang asked.

Katara grinned. Sometimes she thought Aang loved her too much to let her stay depressed for long. "How can I possibly be with you around?" she demanded, kissing him.

And as the two couples kissed, Yue shone down upon them in all her splendor.

Thanks for all the reviews! :)

~ Cassidy Alice