Disclaimer: I do not own Ninja Turtles; Peter Laird, Kevin Eastman and Mirage comics do…And whoever else.

Three weeks later...

"Brother, what happened to your shoulder! ?" Karai demanded as Mikey came into the lair; pain etched clearly on his face even though he tried hard not to show it; his shoulder was bandaged heavily but blood still seeped through.

"It's nothing, Karai." Mikey mumbled and rudely pushed past her; his teeth gnashed together when his arm swayed in motion and caused more pain to shoot from his shoulder.

Suddenly he found himself pinned to the wall; his shell scraping against it as Karai pushed him with her palm on his plastron. "What did you do to yourself?" She demanded sternly and pushed harder on his plastron to add emphasis to every word.

Mikey glared at his adoptive sibling and did not answer or push back.

"Michaelangelo; tell me what you did." Karai growled.

Mikey got up in her face "What are you going to do if I don't?" He challenged "Hit me? Fight me? I know you can never bring yourself to hurt me Karai." His tone was a mix between mocking and threatening.

Without second thoughts, Karai grabbed his arm – the one with the injured shoulder – turned around and pushed the back of her body against his and threw him over her shoulder.

Feeling his shoulder wrench, Mikey held the sharp cry of pain inside. He was slammed onto the Lair floor.

He was about to get up again but Karai placed a foot on his shell and held him down "I don't want to hurt you, brother; but I am not afraid to do so. Tell me what you did."

After several minutes of Mikey struggling he finally gave up. Karai removed her foot and offered him a hand up, which he took.

"What did you do?" Karai asked again.

Mikey sighed and looked to the floor "I…. I didn't want to keep looking at it Karai; the scars were enough…."

Karai put a comforting hand on his other shoulder "You really…?" she trailed off, horror edging on her voice.

"I did; but at least the cut was clean. At least in the Foot I learned how to ignore pain." He said and tried to walk away, but Karai held a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Donatello needs to look at it, brother." Karai said sternly and pushed him towards Don's lab.

Raph sighed watching this – he had a good guess what Mikey had done; skinned himself to get rid of the Foot tattoo on his shoulder. It wasn't that unbelievable, for the past few days he's been trying the scrape the thing off with slate.

In all honesty, they thought things would be better when they brought Mikey back; but things weren't. They were worse.

Sure, at first (as in the first five minutes) Mikey seemed to be his old, goofy self; but soon after depression set in. And Mikey was not reacting well to the depression; he was angry and depressed at the same time, the events of the past year finally catching up to him. The fire was over, but Mikey was left with the ashes. Mikey was also feeling guilty – for siding with the Shredder, for being pitted against them, for… well everything.

He lashed out so much now, temper flares at a fever pitch. Master Splinter said he needed time but…. That didn't seem to be enough. Hell, Mikey was snapping at Karai these days.

Not also that, but within the hour he 'woke up' he broke thing off with Leo. He said it wasn't what Leo did; he was being honest and said he didn't and never did feel that way for him. Leo however – still blamed himself and his actions. He spent all his time moping, he even missed training (Shocker, really.) and didn't really talk to anyone except Donnie.

Chaplin and Karai now seemed to be living with them, seeing as they couldn't go back to the Foot or the Shredder. They'd actually adjusted to life of hiding in the sewers pretty well; with Leo neglecting training because of his depression, Karai had become a student under Master Splinter, she even referred to him as 'sensei'. And Chaplin may not have been a ninja like the rest of them, but he was a genius; so he and Don got along exceedingly well. He even went to the junkyard with Don to visit 'The Professor'. Yeah two peas in a pod those two were.

For the most part Raph had decided to not alienate himself from the family, but he did not know how to fix this family situation; he could not solve things, he was sort of like the 'last line of defense' if things got too out of hand, he would be there.

For the most part Mikey and Raph kept separate from each other; though sometimes they would make eye content and just gaze at each other sadly; knowing nothing could ever be the same, knowing they feel the same way for each other but could never have a relationship like that.

Why did all of this crap have to happen to them? More turtle luck running true to form it seemed…

Mikey's feet dangled over the edge of a building as he watched the city, the city was bright even though it was night. He was watching the city in contemplation, thinking deeply.

Shame, guilt and self-hatred were heavy emotions at the bottom of his stomach; almost like he'd swallowed a rock. He had a bad, dry taste in his mouth to match.

His family….

Under the 'Angelo' personality influence, he'd not even hesitate to hurt people, ones he cared for or not, and then not care at the end what happened to them. But with that personality dormant and his normal one out, the original nature he was born with (Mutated with?) had returned. The nature to be open, to always care about how others felt.

The realization of his past actions put him in an emotionally numb state for about a week. If those actions weren't enough, he'd hurt Leo as soon as they brought him back from his inner sanctum. He didn't want to hurt Leo… But it would only hurt Leo more if he kept leading him on when he didn't feel the same. Leo blamed himself for what he did; even though being a possessive mate was normal. No matter how much Mikey tried to convince him that it was because he didn't feel the same, Leo still blamed that. Mikey was thankful that Donnie was being there for Leo right now, doing it out of true care, not to get the 'rebound' like most people would think.

And everyday he saw the anguish and horror on Karai's face every time she closed her eyes; everyday she was forced to relieve the horror she faced while imprisoned by her very own adoptive father. No matter how much Chaplin, Mikey or even Master Splinter tried to help her, this would obviously haunt her for the rest of her life no matter how much she tried to act like she was fine.

If only Karai had let him jump off the roof that day….. That's right; before Karai showed up that day over a year ago, he was seriously considering chucking himself over the rooftop.

She'd helped him so much; she'd been his friend and sister, actually allowed him close to her…. And because of him she'd been tortured.

And he'd betrayed his family! He had been part of the Foot, he let the Shredder brainwash him, he replaced Master Splinter with the Shredder himself, he did criminal dirty work for the Foot! Not only that, but he also fought them more than willingly, he hurt them, he tried to rape his brother, and whenever his family tried to help him, he still pushed them away, he was rude to them; episodes or no episodes he wasn't afraid to admit he didn't trust them. And for what? To justify that Raph had unintentionally forced himself on him?

He was a traitor.

He was a bad ninja.

He was a bad student.

He was a bad son.

He was a bad brother.

And now he was just sitting here, being all emo about it.

He needed to make things right; make it up to them for his treachery. Regain his honor.

Mikey growled when no idea came to him; what could he do? ! Frustration boiled in his blood and it pissed him off more; he got up from the edge and threw his body against the upraised wall of the roof door. Looked like he was going to have to literally beat ideas into his head.

His flesh started to get softer and bruised from constant abuse, but he didn't care, not even when his shoulder injury got worse.

More frustrated erupted and he found no other way to channel it other than to hurt himself.

Stupid beer, stupid Foot, stupid Shredder-!

"The Shredder." He growled and narrowed his dull blue eyes.

He left the rooftop and headed back to the Lair.

Two or three chapters left, my pretties!