End the Drama:
The next day I woke up to John in between Ricky and me. He was cranky all night and didn't want to sleep on the nursery. While I don't want him in bed with us every night; I did enjoy waking up to him in bed with us this morning. I have to say looking over and seeing my son smiling up at me first thing in the morning; makes waking up that much easier. I look at Ricky next and he is still passed out I decide to be a good girlfriend and let him sleep in. I hop out of bed and get dressed quickly. I get John and eat while I give him his bottle, than burp him and after that I went to wake up Ricky while I got John changed and ready for the day.
"Hey babe" I said shaking his shoulder
"Hey why are you dressed?" he asked
"We have to leave in 20 minutes, get up!" I said and than walked away with John. Fifteen minutes later we were in the car on the way to drop John off.
"Thanks for letting me sleep in" Ricky said
"Yeah, well you have to work longer than I do, and you let me sleep an hour while you stayed up with him last night" I said
"Well you need sleep too" he said as we pulled up in front of the nursery. We got out and said good bye and than we were off to school.
"Are you going to start a fight with Kelly and Adrian today?" Ricky asked
"I don't know, why do you not want me too?"? I asked even though I probably wouldn't listen anyway.
"I just, I don't know Ames" Ricky said
"What's wrong? If I start a fight, I start a fight; it wouldn't be the first time. I know you don't want the drama, but Ricky they are going to the extremes to try and take you away from me. Maybe I am fighting because I need to have some control. I don't have the confidence, and they can give you so much more than me. I know I can fight, which is probably why I do it so much, it is the one thing I know I am good at." I said
"Ames, I don't know why you can't you see how amazing and beautiful you really are?" Ricky asked
"I can't because it is not what I see when I look in the mirror. I see an ugly face, and I don't have many friends and, my parents don't love me like they should why would I see something good. They don't see me as amazing and beautiful so why should I" I said just as we pulled up at school.
"This conversation is to be continued." Ricky said
"Yeah, whatever" I said as we got out and walked to the front of the cat, and instead of waiting we walked into the building.
"Why aren't we waiting outside like usual?" Ricky asked
"I am doing what you wanted, and trying to avoid a fight" I said
"Ames, please don't do this" he said
"What the hell are you talking about? I am doing what you asked, and it still isn't good enough, and this goes back to my whole point in the car." I said and walked away to find Grace
"Hey Grace" I said when I found her
"Hey mama" she said "Where is Ricky?"
'Don't know, don't care" I said
"So you guys are fighting?" she said
"Yeah, but he didn't do anything and I got shitty with him over nothing" I said "but I don't want to talk about me. How is Willy?" I asked
"He is actually really good. He is smart, funny, and so kind. Sometimes I wonder if it is too good to be true." She said
"You can't think that way, though, because it will only mess it up." I said and than we ran to class and made it just as the bell rang. Morning classes went by fast, and before I knew it, it was time for lunch and I had to call and check on John. He was sleeping a lot today and I told them it was because he was up all night. Grace just got to the table right as I was hanging up with the nursery.
'How is he?" she asked
'He is good, sleeping a lot." I said
"That's good" she said
"Grace, give Willy a chance, don't start thinking that he is too good to be true because you are going to start to believe it. Some times I think Ricky is too good to be true and than we fight and I realize he may be a good person, an amazing father, and all I could want, but he is still like everyone else, he has flaws." I said
"Yeah, but" Grace started
"You guys just met. It will take time before he is comfortable enough with you to let you see his flaws." I said
"Hey you two" Ricky said as he sat down next to me. As he did I leaned on his shoulder, and he kissed my head and Grace said hey.
'What are you two talking about?" he asked
"Boys" Grace said and we both laughed
"Yeah and how they have cooties" I said and we all started laughing again.
"We really were talking about boys, but it wasn't about them having cooties, it was about how sometimes it seems too good to be true." I said
"Oh, the guy Grace is talking to?" he asked
"Among others, but essentially yes." I said
"How is John? And others, what others?" he asked
"Your son is fine and just others." I said with a smirk
"She was talking about you." Grace said
"Thanks a lot Grace." I said with a smile
"Anytime, hey I am leaving lunch early. I want to talk to Zack" she said "I'll talk to you guys later."
"Later" Ricky and I said at the same time.
"So I'm too good to be true?" he asked
"Sometimes" I said
"Oh, would you care to explain?" he asked
"After" I said
"Hey Ricky" I hear and I knew it was Kelly. I went to go sit up when he held me tighter so I couldn't move. He was showing her he was choosing me.
"Kelly, what's up?" he said
"Just wanted to say hey" she said
'Or you just wanted to try and get him to agree to meet secretly without telling me." I said
"What?" she said acting shocked
"He told me Kelly, I told you before there is nothing we wouldn't do for each other or tell each other" I said and got up with Ricky and walked away. I kissed him on the cheek and we were off to classes. The rest of the day flew by and both Ricky and I had the day off. Apparently the head count was down and they didn't need me and Ricky requested today off awhile ago. As I was walking to meet Ricky at the car, I saw Adrian and Kelly talking. I saw Ricky in the distance standing behind them they couldn't see him but they could see me and I could see him.
"So, I thought you two didn't know each other" I said walking up to them
"We just met" Kelly said
"See, Ricky isn't here, and you already told me she was your cousin." I said
"Okay she is my cousin" Adrian said
"Why do you guys want my boyfriend so bad?" I asked
"I love him" Adrian said
"He is a hot" Kelly said
"Okay answer me this. Would you two be able to deal with me in yours and Ricky's life the whole time? Can you deal with being put last and can you deal with my son." I asked
"What do you or your baby have to do with my relationship with Ricky?" Adrian asked
"If you were with Ricky and he was with you and I called because John or I needed him and he needed to leave, how would you react?" I asked
"I would be pissed" Kelly said
"How are you so sure he would leave me?" Adrian asked
"I know Ricky. He and I will always be close, even if we never got together. When I called he came and vice versa; Ricky loves me and he loves his son above everyone and everything so when it came to us he would come." I said
"I love him though" Adrian said
"Maybe you do, or maybe you like the chase. Listen I don't want to argue with either of you anymore if has gone on way to long and it needs to end." I said
"He never gave us a chance" Adrian said
"This is stupid" Kelly said
"He did give you guys a chance; you were the first girl he kept around longer than a week. He kept going back, but he couldn't be himself." I said
"I don't want to hurt you but do you really know him. He is an amazing man. He is smart, caring, loving, loyal, and most important he is an amazing father. You see I know when he is putting on an act and when he isn't. Ricky comes with a package now, it isn't just him. He has John and even if nothing goes further with him and I, John will always be around and everyone will always come second to him." I said
"Maybe I need to move on" Adrian said
"You are a good person, when you want to be. You deserve someone who can treat you like a princess." I said
"She is right" Ricky said as he came and wrapped his arm around me.
"How much did you hear?" Kelly asked
"I heard everything. I know you lied to me and that means your nothing to me so goodbye." He said and Kelly left.
"So you head everything we all said?" Adrian asked
"Yeah and I am sorry Adrian but it wouldn't have worked out. I love Amy, and my son so that is where I belong." He said
"I am going to go, be happy Ricky" she said
"You too Adrian" he said and with that we all walked away. Ricky and I drive to the nursery and home in silence, when we got home John was sleeping so I put him in his crib and than plopped on Ricky's lap who was sitting on the couch.
"Today was an interesting day." He said
"Well I thought about what you said and you are right, there is no need for all this fighting." I said
"We are not dropping the insecure issue Ames" Ricky said
"That's not what I am doing" I said even though I really was
"Don't you think I know you better than that" he said
"Fine, what do you want to know?" I asked
"Why do you think you are ugly?" he asked
"I don't know Ricky, I look at all these other girls and I see how care free and happy everyone looks, with their perfect hair, and smile, and than I look at me. I just had a baby, my hair is flat, and my smile is weird. Maybe it all goes back to my parents. You know they never complemented me; they never made me feel beautiful, I never felt like I was good enough with them. It was never enough, why should anyone think any different." I said with tears in my eyes.
"Just because they couldn't see what an amazing and beautiful person you are doesn't mean that John and I can't. When we look at you we see someone we love, someone who made the hardest choice of her life and is living with the consequences everyday. You may not notice it but your smile brightens up our life. You are so amazing. You are an amazing friend, mother and girlfriend. Sometimes life stinks but you deal with everything that is coming your way. Don't let what happened in your past define who you are, Ames." Ricky said
"It is hard though, I don't know how to do that." I said
"You will learn and if I have to tell you everyday I will." Ricky said
"I love you!" I said
"So about this too good to be true thing" he said
"Oh that. Grace and I were talking about how she thinks Willy is too good to be true, and I said for her to wait because once they are more comfortable his flaws will come out. I told her that there are days when I feel like you are too good to be true. I mean you're an amazing father, you treat me like gold, you're honest, and you love me." I said "but I told her than we fight and I know that even though we are happy it is the fights that make us stronger." I said
"I love you so much" he said
"I love you too, and there are going to be times when we fight and when I feel like I can punch you. I am going to try and push you away, and my insecurities are going to show, but we are in it together and we can't give up." I said
"I am not giving up." He said
"You know I remember when we were younger and we were hanging out and it was Peter's birthday party and we were all outside. We were in the pool and their was a kid that you hated that was walking down the street, and you wanted to fight him, even though you were like 14 and I remember you were so tense. I put my hand on your shoulder and I felt the tension leave your body and you came back into the pool with me. That day was the first day that you were close to me in front of our families. Everyone was there but we were playing world pool Marco Polo and I kept trying to swim away and you didn't care who was there and you pulled me close and kept me there. You know that was the moment in my life that I felt the most loved and wanted." I said
"Really, I remember that day. You were always trying to get away so your parents wouldn't think anything and you didn't want them to know we were that close. You know I think you liked that aspect that it was the one thing in your life at that time you could control and I didn't mind." He said
"Your right, it was the only thing in my life that made me feel in control. It made me feel like I wasn't helpless or weak. I had control I could tell you something and you wouldn't tell but you would also respect what it was that I wanted you too." I said
"You were always so stubborn" he said laughing
"Hey it is not my fault" I laughed
"Well I am hungry and I think you should make me dinner" he said
"What if we wait until John wakes up and we all just go out to dinner? We will celebrate us coming to an understanding." I said
"Sounds good, thank you for not fighting with Adrian and Kelly today." He said
"You were right, there was no reason for us to fight you know. We had so many fights and obviously they didn't care and it didn't matter. I thought you know maybe if I tried a different approach that it might work. You know because it is true what I said to them. Even if we never got together, we would always be connected. John will always be apart of the picture so even if, we didn't work out and you decided to go with one of them. He was going to be apart of it. John needs his dad. He needs someone to help him do all the things dad do. He needs us to be a united front and no matter what happens that is what we are going to be. I look at him and I can't help but smile." I said
"Hey is an amazing little boy and he isn't going to let us fight, because I am pretty sure he will put us in our place." Ricky said
"It is so weird to me, how all I have to do is look at our little boy and he can make me forget everything. He is everything I could have asked for." I said and he started crying.
"Okay looks like our son wants some attention." I said and we got up and went to spend time with him and than go to dinner we were celebrating ending the drama.