I always scoffed at mum for being so into all those old war documentaries. You know, all those fuddy-duddy old shows about World War I treaties and negotiations and the such like. They bore me to death but for some reason my scatty old mum can't get enough of watching old men talking about battalions and air strikes. As ever, wise old Lydia was right and I totally should have been paying attention. I, Steffi Hartmann, am about to engage in a war council, a peace talk. I am aiming to leave this summit with an agreement that satisfies all parties involved. All dumb, bloody parties.

That's right. I am reclaiming my Gryff pride and knocking Lana and Marley's heads together once and for all.

"Can you do it while we're all at Quidditch practice please, Stef love? Because I think you might be about to trigger nuclear war in the tower."

"Sirius, you actually read that pamphlet I gave you?"

"Yes, Moons. And please never say the word pamphlet again. Honestly, just when I think you can't be any more of a boffin."

Speaking of allout war, I sense one on the horizon here. Remus' theory about magical involvement in the creation of nuclear weapons and his overwhelming paranoia about impending war has been the subject of much ridicule. James and Sirius find all our leaflets and lessons about mutually assured destruction and so on very funny indeed. I haven't confided in Sirius just yet that mum and I do occasionally practise drills in our kitchen too.

"Look, boys, Lana's lessons finish at three and Marley hasn't got practice until five, right? So I'm going to pounce then. I've packed Lily and Em off to the Kitchens to avoid any fallout, so why don't you join them?"

James and Peter certainly seem cheered by this prospect, and even Remus' doomsday gloom is undercut by the promise of snacks. Sirius grimaces at me as they troop out of the Common Room, giving me a peck on the cheek for luck. I contemplate smiling back reassuringly, but to be honest I am pretty worried about how this is going to go down… Might be time to write in a pre-emptive Disaster Count.

Pre-Emptive Disaster Prophecies:

-Lana commits an actual murder (me/Marley - both bad options but, sorry Marls, that's one bullet I would not take for you)
- Marley commits a murder (Lana is the more likely option but I'm not ruling anything out)
- I commit a murder? It nearly happened last term, so definitely a possibility
- A nuclear attack (preferable to options 1-3, probably)
- Jane Fenwick, in her newly annointed position as acceptable human, mediates and prevents some sort of triple homicide.

OK, maybe that last one was a little unrealistic…

In order to keep Disasters to an absolute minimum, I have compiled the key points that I wish to convey in the Astronomy Tower Peace Treaty of '78. Surprisingly - and hear me out on this crazy idea - but I do think the way to avoid a complete meltdown (and/or anyone being thrown from the Tower) is for me to do most of the talking. Radical, I know. But Marley and Lana have been so at loggerheads these past weeks, I really think I have the best shot at calming things down. We all know how stubborn Lana is - she won't be in the most flexible of mindsets once she realises this is most definitely an intervention. Marley, however, usually so rational and fairly patient… Well, I have been through an uncomfortable amount of Lana-related ranting lately. My only real hope is A) that they shut up long enough to hear me out and that B) The Astronomy Tower rekindles old memories of friendship. Because those feelings seem scarce at the moment.

Wish me luck….

Well. You know what they say - every cloud has a silver lining. And, in a way, this one has many. For starters, all three parties involved in this highly dangerous talk have escaped unharmed. That is a major victory! Not an achievement to be sniffed at! But the rest of the outcome… it's not so simple.

"I mean, it sounds like it was fairly successful," Sirius is stretched out on the sofa, half-listening to me and half-flicking through today's Prophet. "Marley was alright, you know, at practice so I assumed that a Third World War was not oncoming."

I mean, he is right to a certain extent. Lana and Marley are on OK terms now - or at least, we'll see how it goes. They left the scene of our peace treaty with good intentions. I think neither of them want things to be awkward. None of us ever want to be cross or in a sulk with the others; we definitely don't want our friendship to end. None of us are particularly aggressive people, or good at holding grudges (not even Lana - despite her histrionics, they are always short-lived tantrums at least).

"Yeah, I suppose."

Sirius looks away from the paper, sensing perhaps that he may have to dig deep and find some 'boyfriend listening skills' here. "What's up, Steffi?"

I shrug, "You are right. Lana agreed to tone things down a bit with Rab. In the sense that she will hang out with us and the other girls a bit more, and she won't sit with the Slytherins. I think she realised that was a step too far."

"And Marley is going to try and be more patient. Or so she said at practice."

"Yep, if we're more available then hopefully Lana won't spend so much time with him." But I don't know how long this will continue, this uneasy peace. It is clear Lans isn't backing down about her relationship - and I totally saw her giving me meaningful glances, as if my boyfriend is comparable to hers! That is going to wear on Marley's nerves, for sure. Hopefully, as long as they both put in the effort to hold back, we'll be OK. God knows what will happen after we leave Hogwarts. But that is a bridge to be crossed far in the future.

"Anyway, if there's one thing to take your mind off all of this…"

"Dinner?"

Sirius grins and heaves himself off the sofa. Oh, I have picked well!

I TOLD HIM.

We all told him a million times - he was so clearly poorly! Silly old Pete.

I mean, he's going to be fine. But I would rather he didn't put me through a cardiac arrest for no reason, you know?

It isn't good for a gal's ticker to have people running around yelling about Peter 'collapsing'; and being 'rushed' to the 'Hospital Wing'. Having James Potter literally throw his body across the portrait hole threshold, screaming about Pete and comas and brain damage is kind of fucking terrifying.

To clarify: he is not in a coma, or in danger of being brain damaged. He did collapse, but luckily he was with Dora when it happened and she was able to get him down to Pomfrey straight away. Unfortunately, all James heard was a report from an overeager 3rd Year who saw Petey being stretched through the hallways. Apparently, Pete and Dora had just been chilling out when he sort of just crumpled, in her words. He had been complaining of a headache, she said. Sirius had heard him moaning about migraines too. Remus reckons it's stress. I hope that's all it is; I wonder if I should bring up the thing he has said to me before, but I feel that is his issue to resolve. I hope that feeling a little on the sidelines wouldn't affect Peter to this extent. I had hoped that having Dora and so on would help him feel a little more secure in himself. Once he's better, I'll have a little chat and catch-up with him.

"How's he doing, Pomf? Give it to us straight - is he going to make it?"

Poor Madam Pomfrey; an unfortunate by-product of Remus' illness (other than the devastating effects on his life, of course) is that she has to put up with a lot of James' theatrics. She is, like the rest of us, used to his shit.

She tuts as she rearranges Pete's blanket, "He is absolutely fine, Mr Potter. There are no head injuries, internal or external, as far as I can see. I'll administer him some elixirs to boost his vitamins and he'll check in with me regularly."

James nods, seriously, not noticing our stifled giggles at his behaviour, "Yes indeed, and he'll check in with me too. I won't have this - not my friends, not on my watch!"

"Well," Pomfrey surveys James. "If things carry on, I may refer him to Mungo's. But I would think it is simply final year stress and I trust he'll make a good recovery."

I saw James flinch slightly at the mention of a proper hospital but he seemed reassured enough by Pomfrey's diagnosis. Luckily for her.

He and Remus seem most upset by Peter's illness. Not that the other boys, or us girls, weren't (additionally, there's nothing like a Hospital Wing trip to bring friends together. Lana and Marley are discussing Pete's condition very seriously and closely). Dora is very silent, but I suppose that's understandable. I imagine that's how someone as calm as Dora expresses worry and sadness. I tried to talk to her and comfort her a little, but she didn't really respond. After she had explained what happened, she fell silent. We were supposed to meet and do some Occlumency but I said we should postpone. Dora didn't reply but I think it's for the best; she didn't seem up for teaching anyone. I hope she's OK on her own this evening.

Silly old Pete! I always have a soft-spot for him, as my fellow most Disastrous friend, but I hope he doesn't start inching towards taking my title as Disaster Zone. Very few of us are physically equipped to bear the Disaster Crown. I mean, I barely am and I have 17 years of top-notch experience.

The Awakening of Peter Pettigrew: A short play by Steffi Hartmann

Steffi: PETER.
Peter: Steffi…? What're you…? Where…?
S: YEAH. The Hospital Wing, bozo! That's where you are!
P: Shit. What happened?
S: What do you think happened?
P: I got tricked by a rat trap, ate poisonous cheese and had to be hospitalised?
S: Pete.
P: Sirius attacked me in a jealous rage over our friendship?
S: Peter.
P: … I didn't check out what was going on, with my general illness and all that. Now I'm here.
S: And who told you to take care of yourself? We all did! Please, Pete.
P: Yeah, I'm sorry.
S: Petey, we were all so worried.
P: This term's been a lot for me, you know. I think my body's just been ground down a bit, with all the stress.
S: But… you know. It's just the stress of school, right? I worry, sometimes, about what you said. You're not at the fringes of anyone's life. I would hope you wouldn't need something like this happening to prove it, but we were all here. Instantly. You matter so much, Pete.
P:... *slight sniffs*
S: Petey? *very tactfully ignoring said sniffs*
P:... Yep. Thanks.

Hugs all round.

End of play.

Much applause.

With Pete back, safe in our loving arms, and hopefully reassured by our conversation and the gang's reaction to his illness; with Lana and Marley at a (temporary/hopefully permanent) truce, my attention turns to the other little… niggle in my life. Because other than these hiccups, my life is pretty sweet.

But Narcissa. Narcissa Black. Cousin of my boyfriend, Sirius - you may have heard me mention him on occasion? They don't speak much, or ever really. Big ol' family disputes and things beyond my control. Also a pal of mine who I have been avoiding like the plague. Because I am a coward and a fool.

I have to talk to Cissy at some point. I know what I am like - I can't just let a friendship fizzle and die! I am Steffi Hartmann, she of the Bleeding Heart and Endless Affection! Plus, Narcissa sent me a note, asking for a Kaffeeklatsch so I have an opportunity to chat presented on a plate (or in a mug, hehe). It is silly, really, because she probably knows about Sirius and I already - the Hogwarts rumour mill works ridiculously efficiently. I don't know if it will affect our friendship but she might not like it, she might find it impossible to deal with. Then again, she has always seen me being close with him and other...offensive types. So maybe she'll be fine with it?

Guess the only way to find out is to talk it through. Man, I ought to be getting good at these Big Conversations by now. Ha. Imagine.

Lovely Caradoc also has a free period and sits with me in the Great Hall before Cissy arrives. I don't tell him I'm nervous about seeing her, or even that I am waiting to meet a Slyth for coffee. The lovely soul just sense that I'm a bit anxious and offers to wait out with me. Saying he has nothing better to do - as if! The boy is insanely busy, what with NEWTS and Quidditch and generally being a perfect human.

"Thanks for smoothing the cracks with Marls and Lana," Doc sighs and I suspect he has been bearing the brunt of Marley's bitching about Ms. Diggory whilst I attempted to remain neutral. "I'll do my best to keep her relatively calm, try and keep the peace."

"You are a saint, dear Doc."

He smiles with mock sincerity, "I really am, aren't I? Although, keeping Marlene calm right now seems like a hell of a task, even for a saint."

I chuckle. It does seem as if Lans and Marley have switched roles - Lana is pretty calm, albeit stubborn. Marls, on the other hand, has been pretty het up. About most things, but I guess most of it stemmed from Lana and Rab. Hopefully she'll be a little more chilled now. For all our sakes, but mostly Caradoc's from the sound of it!

I'm about to try and reassure him that she should be a little easier to be around now when a figure glides up to us slowly. How come some girls get to glide, whilst some girl-elephant hybrids like me have to resort to stomps and stamps?

"Hi, Stef."

"Hey, Narcissa. Take a seat!"

Caradoc glances between us and smiles at Cissy, "Well, I'll see you later, Steffi. Bye, guys!"

Cissy smiles placidly back as Doc leaves us and slides into his now unoccupied place. "It's been awhile. Been distracted by something… or someone?"

I laugh. She seems fine with it. Obviously she knows about my new relationship and is comfortable enough to joke around as if it were anyone, not her estranged cousin. "Well, I suppose I have had a few other things on my mind recently."

"Steffi Hartmann!" Cissy chuckles, and I remember how nice it is to see the usually serious girl so light and carefree. "I always looked down on the bimbos silly enough to fall for my lothario of a cousin… and now you're one of them!"

I reach across the table to smack her arm gently but there is no animosity, from either of us! It is nice, and easy.

"But," she continues. "I'm going to say - I called it! When I saw you two in the Library, I knew I saw more than friendship!"

I'll give her that one. Plus, she's passing the plate of pastries over so I'm inclined to agree with anything coming out of her mouth. And the afternoon is a pleasant one - we catch up on our Christmas holidays and how exactly I am coping with being a 'girlfriend' and just how stressful the oncoming threat of NEWTs are. It is a normal conversation between two friends.

Except it's not quite. It isn't normal or easy all the time. Sure, the surface-level stuff is fine but every time she mentions Lucius, I know that I wince. I can't engage with that conversation and of course, naturally, wedding talk makes up a lot of Cissy's conversation right now. I mean, I can't comprehend committing to one person at this age, being a wife, but I truly can't understand making that promise and spending your whole life with Lucius Malfoy. It makes it difficult between us when I can't show the appropriate enthusiasm for her wedding, something I should be excited for. And now Cissy knows for sure where my loyalties lie - not that it was in doubt before. As we talked, the thought crossed my mind as I'm sure it did hers too: what would be the point in inviting me to the ceremony if I was still with Sirius? I wouldn't go, I couldn't go to a Black family event. It would be tantamount to betrayal now, it really would.

We say goodbye after an hour or so and I am glad to have seen her. I think both our smiles are genuine and our hug is warm. Yet I can't get rid of this creeping discomfort. Especially as I head back to the dorm, back to Sirius and his embrace and his laugh.

I don't think our relationship has changed anything with Cissy, not at all. But it has brought into sharp, unavoidable focus what I have pushed away for so long. Reality is coming and I know where I stand in this fight - this war. Sooner or later, I'm going to have to make choices. Will it hurt less if I make those decisions now?

A/N: Sorry! Basically there is no excuse/reason. Chapters will come when they come and I'm super sorry for all delays I am the woooOOorst. But I love anyone/everyone who reads this and Steffi and I really wanna finish her story

Elle xoxoxo