You're My Nightmare

Hot.

As Loki stood in the middle of an arid area, all he felt around him was warmth. His limbs were on fire, his skin seemed to be almost cracking, and every breath he took in was heavy and with much effort as his eyes squinted to look around him. His foot rose up, and landed, while the other one did the same, he was hardly aware of that.

When he tried to swallow, his throat ached… there was nothing to swallow, no water, no air. He needed something.

He gritted his teeth, shaking his head before he grunted. He felt his arms cross on their own, squeezing his torso tightly. He tried to resist the hold he was under—he felt almost bound in chains, standing where he was—unable to move as his arms were slowly stretching and squeezing every breath out of him, when nothing was going in to replace it.

A hoarse yell escaped him as he was forced onto his knees, falling onto the hard ground. Loki struggled to get out of his arms, twisting them and pulling them apart… but the more he tried the tighter they got. The grunts of frustration became louder as they bubbled up his throat. He shook his head annoyed, growling from his throat until he finally gave up.

His neck strained as he let out another yell, yelling as loud as he could for someone—anyone to hear him. But it didn't surprise him that there was no one. No one answered him back, no one offered to help. He made this happen. And the thing that made this happen was probably watching from his pretend throne, laughing to himself as if Loki's suffering was amusement—entertainment.

He wasn't going to give in though. Not to him, not to anyone, not even to himself—even if Loki felt himself giving way to letting someone else control him, to stop this suffering, he wouldn't let that happen. He could only work alone. He was almost like wildfire… he worked best alone—moving freely without any sort of restraint. There was another way out of this. There was always another way out of anything. He just had to ignore the pain, and just… figure it out… he was always able to figure out everything… go around things that commoners and simpletons would crumble under. This was no different.

Yelling and screaming in pain was not going to do anything for him… It was going to make everything worse. He stretched his neck as far as it could go, his mouth falling open, trying to suck in all the breath he could. It was too hot, way too hot. It didn't take much to feel his blue, cold flesh crack. His red eyes teared up as he closed them, trying to give him some moisture. But there was no point.

Maybe… he should just give up. If he stopped struggling, thinking of a way out… he could get out. Because the more he thought about it, there was more pain. However, once he stopped he heard a scream… one all too familiar for him to really know then. Though his head weighed a thousand pounds at that moment, he managed to turn it, his eyes searching restlessly for its owner.

This wasn't a flashback… a memory that always came back…

The name was broken on his lips, his voice was hardly there, "Alexandra…"

He received an answer from her, from a completely different direction. His head turned so fast towards it before he was able to make out two figures, covered in black in front of. The silhouettes under the sun blurred together. They had no color—until his eyes focused in on them. His teeth gritted together as he watched her be forced onto her knees. Her face pulled together as the tears escaped her eyes. Her captor kept a solid hand on her shoulder, using all their strength to keep her there.

Loki shook his head in disbelief. His eyes dropping down to the mark as it glowed red. The more it glowed the more he watched her cringe with pain, whimpering. "Please…" she started to him. Her hand weakly reached out for him, to touch him faintly as if it was the last time. This could be real for all he knew. What he thought was a dream, could be reality. This made Loki struggle against his arms, straining even more than before as he wanted to help her, wanted to take her far away from there. Her tearful plea came again, "Help me… please, Loki. End it."

His lips moved but nothing came out. He was powerless to do anything, and it was not what he wanted. He felt his blood boil at the thought. Him… not being able to do anything.

As if his thoughts were read, he heard a familiar, maniacal laugh come from above Alexandra. His eyes forced themselves to look, seeing her captor grin with glee. "You done this to yourself, my Prince," she said to him. The lips that once were able to seduce him, made him want to rip them off as she puckered them playfully to him.

Alexandra shook her head before tearfully stating, "She has a hold on me, Loki. And she's not gonna let go."

The words 'I'm sorry' came to his mouth and lingered on his tongue but it was too dry to speak them. His teeth gnashed together as his whole body strained to be free. But then it was almost like he felt his body aflame, his head being thrown back as the burning sensation rushed through. He squeezed his eyes shut, hearing a scream of horror come from Alexandra as she watched him.

"Oh no, I think you should watch your Alex die, don't you? Look at me, silver-tongue."

"Loki, it's going to happen. There is nothing you can do."

"How should I do it? Slowly… or… quickly… well there'd be a lot of pain involved either way."

"Loki—." His head twitched to the side at his name, and soon it was forced to be turned toward them. His eyes widened to the point he wasn't able to close them any more—not even for a moment.

The Brísingamen fell out of Amora's dainty hand, only being held by its silver chai. The blue jewel gleamed as Amora glanced over to it, a smug smirk graced her lips. Loki's eyes followed the jewel as Amora stated, "You can't answer for me, can you? It seems I'm just going to have to decide… what's that thing mortals do to decide… Alex, help me out…"

His arms were squeezing him tighter by the second, practically suffocating him. He couldn't even close his eyes or squint them to lessen it. "Don't you dare…" he forced out.

That only brought a scoff out of the Enchantress. Feigning a pout, she said to him, "Don't what? Dare?" A sharp pain stabbed him in the leg that made him cry out. "Oh, I love this… Alex, help me out. I want to figure out how I am going to take your life."

"Loki…" Alexandra said, not paying mind to her. Loki's eyes were on her, ignoring how Amora played with the necklace, wanting that hand to reach him. Even if he was in his Jötun form, it was what he craved… that touch. But it fell to the ground as he heard Amora play with the necklace still.

"Eenie… meenie…"

"It's okay, Loki…" Alexandra admitted to him. "Maybe it's for the best."

"Miney… mo…"

Loki shook his head no, wanting to murmur to her that it wasn't—it really wasn't. But he wasn't able to, when it came out, it was inaudible.

Amora continued to taunt, "Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers let him go…"

"It'll be okay, I promise."

"My…"

Loki started to her, pushing his knees forward to get closer, "It won't." She heard it. No matter how low his voice was, she heard it. He could tell by how her eyes flickered toward him.

"… Mother said to pick the very best one and you are not—."

Alexandra gave him a sad smile, picking her hand up and finally getting to touch him one last time. Her touch was so soothing… it was the only thing that caused him to go numb for just a moment. Loki wanted to continue to be numb. He tried leaning into it until it would disappear. Hopefully it would make her numb too. "I love you."

Those words. It was not what he wanted her to say, he didn't want to hear her use them… not as a goodbye since that was what they were. A goodbye. He couldn't even say them back, he was far too weak to. Amora finished her taunt, "—it…"

I didn't know if I expected him to wait up for me or not, but when I walked into the hotel room, I felt extremely disappointed when I saw him sleeping on his side, with his clothes still on, and his legs sprawled on the bed. I didn't know how I was even going to fit on top of it because he took the most room. Immediately though, I went to the bathroom, flicking the light on and beginning to take my jewelry off.

I was gone for a few hours, just walking up and down the boardwalk. I contemplated going into several bars, sit at the beach and watch the waves roll onto shore, and smoke something—but then I remembered I didn't have anything to smoke with, so that idea was out. I hated bumming off of people.

I took a make-up wipe, removing it from my eyes and the rest of my face. My jaw clenched automatically, as I was reminded that tomorrow I was probably going to have to face him. I knew what I was going to say. There was a part of me though that wanted to wake him up now to get this over with.

The groan that came from the bed was so loud. I ignored it though, moving to the next room to pick up my pajamas to change into them. But I stopped midway, seeing Loki tossed in a different way. My head tilted curiously before I moved slowly to pick up my stuff. My eyes were strictly on him as I was about to move back to the bathroom. However, before I went, I saw his body shift in a different way. My mouth parted as my brows furrowed toward him.

I could have sworn I heard him murmuring and muttering to himself also. But I wasn't too sure. I had set aside my clothes before deciding mentally (because my legs were already moving on instinct) to see if something was bothering him. I sat down on the edge of his side, examining his face through the little light the room actually gave from the lamp on my side. I saw how his face was crinkled and how contorted it seemed—it did not look like a face that was content.

My hand landed on his shoulder. I narrowed my eyes at him, searching his face for any sign that told me that he was alright. However, I knew that look. The features of it twitched as his body under my touch tensed. I bit my bottom lip before shaking his shoulder gently. I stated softly, "Loki."

He didn't answer me. His head though tossed to the other side and along his neck I saw his vein protrude. I swallowed thickly before gripping his shoulder tightly. My voice was louder, "Loki, get up."

I spotted the beads of sweat coming from the top of his head. I brushed my hand over his forehead to collect them, feeling how cold they were. "Loki, wake up." My hand pushed his hair back, watching his upper lip twitch. It was almost like his whole body was twitching actually. I had only seen him like this once and it was a while ago. "Please, Loki." My grip on his shoulder loosened as his head turned more toward me.

I tilted my head, my gaze on him softening as I tried soothing him, rubbing his arm up and down and continuing pushing his hair back. Then, his eyes opened slowly, locking their gaze with mine. I swallowed thickly before asking him, "Did you have a bad dream?" My hands retreated back to my lap as he sat slowly up. His eyes were silently searching mine, not answering my question. However, I knew that horrified look on his face—I've had that look before—felt it. I felt his tightened expression, and also with that realization dawning in his eyes, taking in what was reality. It was the look after watching something and feeling something extremely unpleasant.

I took my heels off, still waiting for my answer, and then brought my legs onto the bed, sitting on top of them. He shifted himself, giving me some room to sit beside him. I tried breaking the silence, "Do you want to talk about it?"

His hand went to my shoulder. He had it linger there for a moment, his eyes briefly leaving mine before looking me up and down. He was still so silent. "You're scaring me… not talking like this," I stated. His brow creased as his hands went to both of my arms. Gripping them for a moment, he smoothed them down. "I need you to talk to me, Loki." I looked at him almost desperately, trying to find something that would be able to tell me what was wrong.

However, I watched his Adam's apple bob before his eyes met mine once more. "We'll talk later," he said quietly. I glanced down at him confused before I felt his hand reach my face, going to my cheek. What he was still doing was scaring me, but his caress made me lean into his hand. "I do not want to talk about it now."

I said gently, giving him a slight smile, "You don't have to."

"You weren't supposed—."

"To see it?" I suggested to him with my brow perking up at him. It looked almost as though he didn't know those words were going to come out of his mouth. Actually, he talked as if he wasn't able to in a long time. "We have both seen things of each other that we weren't supposed to. You might feel a little better talking about it. But I'm not going to force you into doing so."

"I want to talk about anything but it… can we do that?" It was disturbing how vulnerable he actually sounded. His voice was almost of a child's. I nodded my head to him slowly. However, before we were able to talk about… really, anything, I wanted to change into something comfortable. I threw on my shorts and t-shirt before going into bed with him. His eyes were strictly off of me for the first few minutes we were together.

I spoke though, "Don't you want to get comfortable?"

"I'm fine." He said quickly, waving me off before glancing over. He didn't say anything after though. Not asking me about my walk, or really anything. He wanted to talk… and I wanted him to talk to me too, but it seemed the words weren't going to come to him so easily.

At first, I kept a good distance away from him, but then I noticed how his arm was already out, waiting for me to scoot next to him so he could close it around me. I swallowed at noting this before I actually moved for him. My hand moved from my lap to rest on his thigh. My head reluctantly laid on top of him before I felt that arm go around. My eyes closed as he hugged me close to him.

His heart rate was slower than it was before. He was relaxed. We wanted to talk to each other, but instead we both sat there—in silence. Silence that wasn't awkward, or weird… we were comfortable with each other. He didn't ask me to say something like he had before, to end it. It was almost like he was relishing in it.

"Thor was banished before I was… well this time." Loki's words made me look up at him. My hand moved up from his thigh to his chest. My fingers idly unbuttoning the shirt's middle to have my hand touching his chest. My hand smoothed itself over it in circles, rubbing it in comfort. "Before his coronation, I smuggled in the Jötun… to disrupt it. Afterwards, the Warriors Three, Lady Sif, and Thor wanted revenge, as I predicted, and I went along with them to Jötunheim to confront the Frost Giants. Thor almost had gotten us killed, lashing out in anger and starting a fight with them all—it was there, I found out what I truly was."

I narrowed my eyes up at him. "You told me some of this."

"I have, and I'm telling you again." My mouth pursed, however I felt my face go warm as his hand met mine on his chest, lightly touching my fingertips. His eyes were staring blankly forward. "I told Odin that we were going there—if I had not, I don't know what would have happened. Once we got back and once the others dispersed, I watched Odin strip Thor's powers away, pulling his armor apart and calling him unworthy of everything he owned… before throwing him in the portal—to bring him to Midgard. There, he met mortals like you, one called Jane Foster, and was forced to learn their ways."

I commented, "Like you."

"Thor granted me the same punishment, thinking it would work for me as it did for him," Loki explained to me. Although, he did not stay on this subject—he quickly changed back to the one before. "That day, I learned the truth, of what I was, and Odin's true purpose of me—to use me as a tool, for peace between our realm and the realm of the Frost Giants… all the past centuries, I believed myself to be his son… and of Asgardian blood, but in reality I was the monster that Asgardians told their children of at night to scare them. From my reaction and from Thor's banishment, Odin went into an Odinsleep, where his powers would recharge. And during that time, the line of succession fell down to me… I didn't want to be King."

I didn't understand why he was giving me his history, but this was the most of his past I was probably going to get… at once. I asked him, "Why not?"

"I have never thought about it for myself. I knew for years what my role in the Asgardian Kingdom would be—well I thought I did. If I were to stay, I was to be my brother's advisor most likely. I never stood a chance against the favored son," he sneered for a moment. "However, I wanted my spot secured, and I was planning to use my birth father to help me. I sent The Destroyer to Midgard to first destroy Thor and his friends, who went to bring him back from banishment, and then went to Laufey, my father, to propose my plan to kill Odin."

He paused, waiting for me to interrupt him, but I had nothing to say. I knew that I was supposed to be disturbed by this, the fact that he tried killing his brother and his adoptive father, but a part of me also knew that… there was more to this story. He then went on, "My plan to destroy Thor did not work. He sacrificed himself for his Jane and became worthy of his powers and his hammer, thus ruining it. I brought Laufey into Asgard to kill Odin while he slept, but before he was able to I made it seem like I was saving Odin, by killing Laufey."

"You wanted Odin to see that you were just as worthy as Thor was…" I said softly.

Loki nodded, "Thor came in—and just as I was going to destroy Jötunheim so those… monsters would never see another day, he stopped me, and we fought each other on the Bifrost."

Before he was able to go on, I asked him, "Why did you want to destroy it?"

I expected him to think through his answer, but he replied right away. "It was the cause of my problems. Without that realm, I would have never been cast out, never—."

"Never have been alive… never would have met me… it's who you are… well who you were, that you were trying to erase."

"I realize that now…" he said softly. "However… I think you would have been better off, if there was no me."

I smirked at him, shaking my head, "That's not true."

The look he gave me was one of disbelief. Yeah, I think I would look at me like I was crazy too, but it's true. I don't think I could picture my life without him. So… good thing that it was settled on me leaving his. "You would live."

I shook my head no again, "I'm mortal… if I do not die because of you, I would die of something else. Death is going to happen to me whether I like it or not. But… uh, me and you have something in common." His brow furrowed toward me puzzled before I turned my face into his shoulder. "I didn't try to destroy where I came from, but I wanted to forget it. That's… that's why I moved away in the first place. I haven't even kept in contact with any of my family back home because I wanted a—."

He finished for me, his gaze softening, "Way to start new…" I nodded my head against him. "I suppose… that's what I wanted as well…" I gave him a slight smile, but he didn't expand on this.

He went back to his story that I wanted to hear for a long time. "It was close to being destroyed though, Thor stopped it. He broke the Bifrost Bridge, sacrificing his ability to see his beloved ever again. And then he was on the broken bridge, holding the scepter I was hanging off of… he was trying to help me up. But then Odin came, and I tried telling him what I was trying to do… for Asgard… and he denied me. I was never going to live up to Thor, or be as worthy of the throne as he was." His voice got more and more angrier as he went on, but I didn't stop him continuing. "I've never had an equal chance when matched up to Thor… and I was led to believe I did. I fell into it—I thought Thor threw me off, but now I remember well that I fell into the portal. That was the last I saw of Thor before New York."

My face dropped at the words 'New York'. I didn't know where he was going with this, but I think I had a feeling about what he wanted to reveal to me. The Loki I knew now, to me, didn't seem like he would have done what he did in New York—the invasion. Albeit, there was some part of him that would, but he was more than that. He was not a completely evil person. He seemed almost guilty at times for what he did then, while other times he carried the invasion—though it failed—under his belt.

"If it makes you feel any better about yourself, which I'm sure it won't," I started to him with a small smile, glancing up at him. I wasn't going to make him reveal New York to me if he didn't want to. I felt like I was going to hear it, but… if he wasn't ready, I'd rather wait. He scoffed to himself before I went on, "your blue alter-ego doesn't scare me. I still think you're a smurf."

"Again, no."

I started whistling out the theme song to the smurfs, drumming it also against his chest. Soon, I laughed once I noticed him shift his shoulders back and narrowing his eyes at me annoyed, however I saw the amusement sparking in them as well. Once I stopped whistling though, his face softened toward me. "That form of me truly does not frighten you?" I shook my head no before picking it up.

"Just because you turn blue and have red eyes… and freeze people, dry freeze them or whatever… doesn't mean you are different from how you look to me now."

His other hand moved my chin up, making me look at him a lot more closely than before. Then, slowly, his lips pressed against mine. I kissed him back in the same way before I parted from him briefly. Our breath still mingled with one another. I said, "I want to learn more about you. I feel like you know everything about me when I know little of you."

"I don't know anything about you." Loki sounded amused. I couldn't tell if he actually was without looking at him.

"And yet, you read me like a fucking book."

"Because you are so predictable and allow that to happen." My lips lingered so close to his that he captured them once more, tenderly between his. He then murmured, "I want to tell you everything. I can trust you… and that doesn't come easy with me."

"I want to hear everything," I whispered to him. My eyes opened to look into his as I gave him a slight smirk. My hand found itself in his hair, pushing back behind his ear before I said to him softly, "Everything that you feel is all right to tell me, I want to hear." My forehead fell against his.

I heard a small chuckle escape him as his arm went around me. His hand fell onto my thigh before he brought it to him, just so that it was on top of his leg. His head soon turned, so mine fell into his neck, nuzzling my nose into him to inhale his scent. "After my fall… I met Thanos." I brought my eyes back up to him, raising my brow. His eyes were no longer on me—they were distant, staring off in front of him. The small smile on his face was gone… I could tell him he didn't have to tell me, but if he wanted to now, I wasn't going to stop him. "He filled my head with such hopes for a throne… he was from a different world… One that I have never gone to, nor have I even heard of. I knew there was other life apart from the Nine Realms… but not his…

"He was the one that brought up the Tesseract… that I've known about, of course… heard rumor about… and it sounded so appealing to me…" he trailed off, looking as though he was thinking his way through his words. He sucked in his bottom lip before going on, "He was too agreeable, caught that right away. I wanted the Tesseract for myself to use against Asgard. With it… I would've so been powerful… more powerful than Odin, and Thor by far… I did not care much for Midgard. But if I needed it to take the better throne, I would've taken it. But… it was not what Thanos intended for me… he had his own reasons for telling me of the Tesseract and how to obtain it."

I shifted slightly, sitting myself more up so I was able to hear more. I asked him curiously, "And what were they?"

Loki closed his eyes for a moment. The answer was obvious. I don't even know why I asked that. "He wanted it for himself… to use me as a way to obtain it for him. I was not too keen on the idea. I don't like the help of others, unless I am completely powerless in doing so. He tortured me… until I complied with him." He fell silent, turning his head toward me as I did nothing but stare at him, slightly speechless. I was surprised… There were so many things that I wanted to say to him, but couldn't… he was tortured, too. He was made to be weak. For some reason, I never imagined Loki to ever be that way—to be forced to bend at will.

The question though came out of mouth, falling softly past my lips, "How?"

His eyes directly matched mine, and I couldn't look away from them. They drew me in. And every word that came out of his mouth, I was forced to believe. He was being truthful with me. "My form was used against me," I barely knew what that meant, but I didn't want to question that. I could only imagine, something that is who you are being used to cause you pain… probably the worst thing ever. "It was to the point that not even my own mother could recognize me. I was his puppet when New York happened—even when I fought back, I was still his."

I didn't really know what to say… other than, "Wow…" It was heavy, all the information he was giving me. New York was always a forbidden topic with him, you weren't able to cut through it at all without getting your head bit off. So… him telling me that… was shocking for me.

He looked at me with slight disdain. "Wow?" He asked me with his brow cocked. "That's what you have to say?"

"Well…" I started slowly. I didn't have anything to say though! I swallowed before taking a deep breath. "I can't picture… don't even want to see you, or hear that you were like that. It's… sad… have you told anyone that before?" He shook his head no slowly. Loki almost seemed to regret telling me it as if he thought I was judging him for it. But… there was no way that was possible. "It's okay," I told him to assure him, gliding my hands on either side of his neck, giving him a slight smile. I said, "Even gods have their weak points, right? It doesn't stop me from wanting to hear more… and I want nothing more than that…"

Loki stared at me… his eyes searching my face for any doubt in it. He didn't find any. Maybe he started with his downfall to see if I wanted to hear more. I don't think it was to see if I'd have sympathy for him, or be forgiving for what he did, because he didn't evoke that—since I knew that he would have done it without Thanos… he just didn't like how it was done. He soon stated, "Just tell me where to start."

That was all it took. I told him that I wanted to hear about where he was from—Asgard, who he used to hang around with, including Amora and he even told me about his first teacher before Frigga, Eldred. Tale after tale came out, some being humorously told that earned him the name 'God of Mischief', and others… that were a sharp turn-around from them. However, he told most of everything nonchalantly and so easily, also eagerly.

He gave me the low-down on all the gods that I heard from stories—the ones that I did hear of. And some of the gossip circulating around them—and he knew a lot of that. He might not have been the Watchman over Asgard, who he told me of also, but there was almost not a thing he did not know. How else was he to scheme around the egos of the Asgardians? He enjoyed ruining them.

Then… he told me of the realms, mostly Asgard, painting a picture of it for me. The place almost seemed like I had been there before in a dream… a place that I only could dream of. The idea of Asgard being real almost seemed like thinking that Oz was real. He outlined the Realms in front of me, using his hands to help me imagine them. Although, I eventually stopped looking at them. My eyes going down to his lips as they moved, mesmerizing me.

He paused though once he knew I wasn't paying much attention. I was listening to his words but they all soon became a blur. His hands dropped on top of me, his head turning to look at me. His eyes took in how I was looking at him, and his nose grazed mine. His mouth tilted away as I felt his forehead meet mine, the tips of our noses touching one another. "I want to see it," I murmured to him. "I would like to see all of it."

My gaze soon matched his. I saw the sad expression in his eyes. I would never get to see it. His eyes closed after that as he leaned his forehead further against mine. Loki sighed before stated, "I would love to show you it. All of it."

I swallowed thickly, feeling the familiar swelling in my chest. It wasn't really one of hope, but I tried to make it be. "Maybe… we can buy time." I moved my head away from him, searching his eyes desperately. I knew we couldn't for many different reasons, but it didn't exactly stop me from thinking otherwise. A look of concern covered Loki's face as his hands found my shoulders. He didn't seem to think we could. I said quickly, "Maybe… there's a way to. Maybe Asgard has a way in reversing it, something powerful that you don't know is really—."

"Alexandra, no…" Loki had cut me off. My mouth fell closed as he brought me to reality. "I'm powerless to bring us there. Amora will not stop. We cannot stall, you saw it before, and I didn't, and now you are forgetting that." His hand left my shoulder, his fingertips skimming over the length of my neck before having them fall on top of the mark. "We cannot do anything but accept it, and go on without any backward glances."

I nodded my head slowly, my hand meeting his on my neck, stopping his fingers from tracing it. "I can do that… I can accept it. Everything… I can accept."

Those words were like the equivalent of the 'I love you' I wasn't able to say to him. They hung heavily in the air, almost like a knife waiting to be dropped. He stared at me, his hand at the base of my neck, slowly parting with it. A part of me thought he was going to part with me altogether after that, and I almost felt myself panicking at the thought… He got my message. His silence scared me just as it did before when he first woke up.

His eyes fell to my lips as mine were stoic, watching his. What was he thinking? I needed to know. I tried to give him a smile, which flickered off from me being nervous. My thoughts were only speculating what must have been circulating in his head. I needed to hear his own. I asked, "What's going on…? What are you thinking?"

His lips moved soundlessly before his green eyes moved to meet mine. But it was for a split second before I glanced down at his lips as they drew near me. His hand brushed against my cheek before intertwining itself in my hair. He didn't push me toward him, or anything. Loki answered me, "Of what I want right now."

My heart stopped. I did not look up again as I felt him lower me down so that he was hovering over me soon. "And that is…?" My hands found his back as he shifted himself so we were both comfortable.

"You."

And that was his way. I got the message.

I finally looked up at him, my breath hitching as he waited for a response. He wasn't going to do anything unless I had one—I knew him. He wanted to be sure that I felt that way, too. Not sure, actually. Assured. We both needed to be assured that we both wanted each other… that we… loved each other. We didn't need to say those words. It was easier if we left it with words that could be taken as something we felt at the time to others—we knew the truth though.

I had no idea that my eyes were tearing up until then, until my voice broke in a whisper. "You can have me." The reply to that was his lips slowly taking mine. Just a slight press of them told me that that was what he wanted to hear.

And after a very long time, I felt myself… truly… content with what was going to happen to me.

Because if I had him for a short time, knowing he felt the same way I did… why wouldn't I feel that way?

Hi everyone! Oh god, it's good to be back with this fic. I really am sorry for the long wait for this update. A lot has been going on, mostly with school and I just couldn't balance this story with it... I deeply apologize because I absolutely adore this story. You have no idea. But I want to thank you all for the constant flow of support, seriously, I can't even begin to tell you how appreciative I am. I start school again next week... so hopefully I don't take a long break again... I'm taking less classes... so we'll see how it goes. But Running Up a Hill is ending soon... which is really sad... and the sequel... would then come... dun dun dunnnn. (you like that? or no because it could mean some trickery might be involved?)

Oh, and if you are interested, I'm currently reading a book called 'The Gospel of Loki' and it's basically the Norse Mythology told in Loki's point of view. It's really a good read. I'm almost done with it. It's by Joanne M. Harris so it's an interesting take on it, and so much fun to read. If you want to hear more about it, just PM me because I could probably talk endlessly about it.

Alright.. so I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's really one of my favorites and I've been looking forward to it for a long time. And I'll see you next time! Thank you for reading.