A/N I hate being sick...

Welcome to all new readers and welcome back to my wonderful regulars!! I thought maybe Kubo would take pity on me cuz I'm sick, but no - I still don't own Bleach. ACHO.O!

The next morning brought sunshine, cheerful thoughts and four Shinigami to rain on Shuuhei Hisagi's little happy parade. After he had left Nanao for the night, he had returned to the ninth, lit a few candles and wandered aimlessly around the office, stopping now and then to pinch himself. He wanted to be certain that the amazing good night kiss they had shared had really happened. Thoughts of returning to her apartment for another kiss had crossed his mind, but he had tossed that idea aside, afraid that he might seem too forward. In the morning light, he felt no desire to share details of his date with his overly involved friends as he met up with them for drills in front of the ninth. He liked hoarding this information. It made him feel like he had a secret that he shared only with Nanao. As he waited for the others, he leaned casually against a post along the walkway, listening to the birds excitedly chirping about their latest worms.

"WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!" came a warrior cry breaking into the morning stillness, startling the birds, but not Shuuhei who had come to expect this type of thing. A flash of Shinigami baldness charged Shuuhei like a freight train, dashing past and slapping him on the back of the head, before careening recklessly face first into a wall. "So, Warrior Queen, how'd the date go with the ice princess?" hollered Ikkaku as he readjusted his nose.

"Fine," yawned the dark-haired man, smoothing his hair. He resumed his stance with his arms folded and legs crossed at the ankles, giving up no information in his answer or actions.

"Fine?" roared Ikkaku. "Spill, Hormone Harry. We want details. Did you nail her?"

"You're crass," complained Shuuhei, "and you're loud."

"Come on, Hisagi, you bottom feeding low-life. You owe us details," said Renji, approaching with Yumichika and Kira at a much calmer pace. "Especially after siccing Yachiru on us last night."

An involuntary shudder coursed through Kira's body.

"It's okay, Izuru. The scary little girl isn't here," soothed Yumi, patting Kira's sleeve.

Crouching, Ikkaku circled around Shuuhei, examining him as if waiting for an alien creature to crawl out of a facial orifice at any second. The third seat plucked at him here and there with his fingers, occasionally pinching.

"Move 'em or I'll break 'em," snarled Hisagi.

With a final pinch, Ikkaku pronounced, "He didn't nail her; that's why he's not talking."

"Get the hell away from me, you bulbous vegetable," protested the irritated man. "Build an oil refinery and process some of that grease on your head. When's the last time you showered?"

"He didn't nail her. I was right! Hisagi's still a virgin!" crowed Ikkaku, ignoring Hisagi's hygiene question.

"You know about that better than I do," he shot back.

"Hey, I'm not a virgin!" Ikkaku sputtered.

"Your sock puppet doesn't count."

"Oh."

"He didn't mean that, Ikkaku," said Yumi quickly.

"Hey, Spike Head, we go to all this trouble to get you laid and then you don't talk? Dude, you owe me," said Renji. "Didn't I tell you about that time with me and Matsumoto?"

Kira added, "And me and Matsumoto."

"And Matsumoto and me as well," said Yumichika.

"And me and…"

"Your sock puppet," Shuuhei finished for Ikkaku. "You're all liars. Red, the only woman you've ever had romantic feelings for is Rukia Kuchiki and that would give Big Brother another reason to string you up by your toes. Kira, Rangiku gets you so drunk, if you did anything with her, you wouldn't remember it anyway."

"Pencil," snickered Ikkaku.

Shuuhei gave him an odd look, then pointed to Yumichika, "And you, I can't even imagine what would go on between the two of you."

"The woman has atrocious taste. I'm just trying to educate her with Yumichika's College of Style and Pretty. Professor Aya-say-doesn't-he-have-spectacular-taste at your service," sniffed the feathered man, bowing regally.

"Aren't you the one who wants to decorate my office with unicorns? Besides," simmered Shuuhei, "I didn't set out to 'nail' Nanao and even if I had, what the hell makes you think I'd tell you perverts?"

"Cause we're perverts," said Renji lightly. "We share that kind of stuff." His hand met Ikkaku's in a high five.

"Yea, well, share this," said Shuuhei, lunging at Renji. Springing into action, Kira jumped on Hisagi's back before he could connect with the red head. Hisagi threw him off with a grunt.

"Hey, Tattoo Boy, what the hell are you attacking me for? Ikkaku's the ones that started all the crap talk. Attack him," yelled Renji as Shuuhei returned to leaning against the post. "Aren't you supposed to be the peace maker, Hisagi?"

"You throwing me into the dangai, Abarai?" Ikkaku sulked. (1)

"Serves you right, Snow Globe," said Shuuhei, straightening his uniform. He hadn't acted reasonably. He had just acted. It was uncharacteristic of him to attack someone, but protecting his pleasant memories of a delightful evening was paramount and the cheekiness of his so-called friends was getting on his last nerve.

"Shuuhei, it hurts to say this, but Renji's right," said Kira generously. "Look who you're talking about, after all. If you're going to attack someone," he pointed towards Ikkaku, "Duh!" Kira staggered a step, grabbing Shuuhei's uniform for stability. Shuuhei tried to straighten it again, but Kira wasn't letting go. "I got a hell of a hangover. You owe me for making me move that fast," the blond said, holding on tight. His breath still smelled acidic from alcohol.

"Come here, you poor thing." Yumichika pulled Kira off Shuuhei and led him to a small bench. He sat the blond down and began to rub his temples. "Yachiru was just too much woman for you to handle last night, wasn't she?"

Kira would have retorted, but his headache was melting away under Yumi's touch. As Yumi massaged specific pressure points, Kira found his body turning to liquid butter. He purred, "Your fingers are like magic."

"Like magic?" snorted Yumichika. "Hell, these fingers could massage a pretty smile out of Byakuya Kuchiki."

"That I'd like to see," said Renji.

"Just look behind you when he shoves the stick up your ass," smirked Ikkaku who had been hiding behind Shuuhei, poking him in the ribs, "'Cause he's coming for his revenge, man."

"Where? Is he here? Hide me!" Ikkaku broke into gales of laughter at the panicked look on Renji's face.

"He's not here, is he?" asked Renji. "Why, you…I oughta…"

"Maybe Hisagi can watch and get a few pointers! I heard Nanao's got a kinky side!"

"Ikkaku!" scolded Yumi. "That is just totally un..."

Shuuhei's elbow shot out behind him, into Ikkaku's gut causing him to double over. Pivoting his forearm upwards, the back of Hisagi's fist smashed into Ikkaku's face.

"Ow, ow, ow. Totally unnecessary!"

"A lot like you."

"That's exactly what I was going to say," said Yumi.

"What the hell did you do that for, Shu-Face?" asked Ikkaku, holding his nose.

"Do you want my shoe in your face? I don't like to hear stuff like that, especially about Nanao. It makes me mad."

"Of course, it does," said Renji. "Why do you think he says that stuff, Hisagi? See, he irritated me with that stick comment, but I'm choosing to let it roll off my back, like water off a duck. Speaking of which, Shuuhei, if you don't mind, would you be so kind as to…DUCK!"

Seeing the approaching punch, Shuuhei ducked, leaving Ikkaku open to Renji's incoming fist. It hit him squarely in the nose, shoving his face off center to the right.

"Ow, ow, ow. Again totally unnecessary."

"Again, a lot like you!"

"All right already, I can take a hint," said the man, readjusting his tender nose again. "What am I taking a hint about?"

"Stop being so damned annoying," said Shuuhei. "My business isn't your business."

"And what I have up my ass isn't any of your business either!" said Renji. "Wait, that didn't come out right."

"What? The stick?"

"Shut up."

Yumichika threw his hands on his hips in an air of disgust. "Hisagi, can you blame Ikkaku? Your business with Nanao is our business. We've quested with you from the start and now you want to shut us out? That's not fair. Open your mouth and talk, Hisagi. You're the only one here who's been on a real date in months and we want details."

"You're not done with the massage, are you?" asked Kira timidly. "I can feel the hangover coming back."

"P…ansy," coughed Ikkaku.

Ignoring Kira, Yumi crossed his arms and said sternly, "We're starving men here, Hisagi; throw us a cookie crumb."

"You're pathetic, Yumi," laughed Shuuhei. "But maybe I do owe you a little."

"Damn straight."

Renji snickered, "Do you really want to use that phrase?"

"Be quiet, Stick Boy. Now spill, Hisagi."

"Yeah," said Ikkaku, his voice sounding a bit nasally. "Now shut up and talk!"

Finally, Shuuhei acquiesced. His gaze rested on a small pebble at his feet. "It was fine. After we got rid of the audience," he glanced at his buddies, "we had a nice time. She's not so bad."

"Not so bad?" Ikkaku exclaimed. "Come on, we're talking about Nanao Ise here. Nanao, the angel from hell who's scarier than a speeding Aizen, more frightening than a loco Tousen, able to freak tall Hollows with a single eye."

"Take your own advice and shut up, Ball Bearing Head."

"Ooo, someone's getting testy," said Renji. "What's a matter, Shuu? Did she dump your can after only one date?"

He bent over to pick up the pebble. "No."

Renji bobbed and weaved like a boxer in an attempt to rile Shuuhei. He jabbed out at the man who knocked him away with his arm. "Come on, dude. Be honest. I'll bet you dumped her."

"I did not. We had a nice time, that's all." Shuuhei flicked the pebble at Renji.

"Ow! You could have poked my eye out. Watch it!" said Renji, rubbing his eye.

"Sorry, Red. Did I miss? I'll take better aim next time," Shuuhei grinned.

"Smart ass."

"So, are you going to ask her out again?" The romantic in Yumichika couldn't wait for details of the date any longer. Kira's inner romantic would have come out too, but he was in bed with Kira's hang-over.

"I dunno. Maybe. Yea, probably. I guess," mumbled Shuuhei, unwilling to concede that he had already broached the subject with her.

"You guess? You either ask her out or not," said Renji. "Ain't that hard."

"I don't know if she wants to go out again."

"Now that's real leadership quality for ya," sneered Ikkaku. "Decisitivity at its best, ya know?"

"You mean decisiveness," corrected Shuuhei.

"That's what I said."

"No, you didn't."

"There she is," elbowed Ikkaku, pointing to a group of people across the green. "Why don't you ask her now?"

"Grow up, Ikkaku! I'm sure as hell not going to ask her out again with you jokers around." Hisagi eyed the people furtively. He was looking for Nanao, but he didn't want his friends to know.

Renji asked, "But you are going to ask her out, right?"

"Maybe, I guess," he wavered. "Yea, probably, I think."

"Yes or no, Hisagi," said Renji. "Make up your mind."

Shuuhei threw up his arms in defeat and conceded, "Okay, fine. Yes, I'm going to ask her out again."

"Ooo, Hisagi's in love," crowed Yumichika to Kira, both men envisioning a large wedding with Shuuhei and Nanao walking down the aisle. "I'll be the wedding coordinator," volunteered Yumi. "Lots of flowers, white doves in gilded cages, and little minty candies on the tables."

"Then I'm the best man," agreed Kira.

"Maybe Hitsugaya can create an ice sculpture…"

"Why do you get to be the best man?" asked Renji. "Fight ya for it."

"…And taffeta, lots and lots of ruffles and taffeta."

"A fight? I'm in," said Ikkaku excitedly. "What are we fighting about?"

Yumi sighed contentedly as the vision of a perfect wedding passed through his mind. "Hisagi's in love, Hisagi's in love, Hisagi's in love," sang Yumi, clapping and twirling happily along the walkway.

The victim of the song protested, "I am not in love and I'm not wearing ruffles either." Tripping Yumi as he pranced had crossed Hisagi's mind, but the light-on-his-toes fellow was too quick. "And I don't want taffeta either. It sticks to your teeth."

"You are too in lo-ove. It's written all over your blushing fa-ace." Ikkaku stuck his finger in Shuuhei's face.

"I'm not blushing. Stop that," commanded the exasperated brunette, pushing him away.

But Ikkaku was not that easily dissuaded. Shuuhei groaned as the third seat also began to dance and sing new lyrics to his luck luck dance in a loud voice, "Who got lucky? You got lucky. You got lucky in love. That's right, I said love! kissy kissy kissy kissy…"

"Shut up, you moron."

"There she is now! Hey, Nanao!" yelled Ikkaku across the lawn. "Hisagi's got something he wants to ask you."

"That's not Nanao, you idiot. That's Oomaeda! Oh, my gawd, why are you my friends?"

A/N (1) Dangai – the bordering dimension between the soul Society and the human world. Once trapped, there is no escape. I was trying to think of a phrase that would be comparable to being 'thrown under the bus.'