A/N - apologies for the long delay, real life got in the way of writing for a bit but I'm back and have the remainder of this story prewritten so the plan is to continue posting on Wednesdays as I finish editing. Hope you all enjoy!
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Ch. 35 - "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." ― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
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They brought Cody's body back to the Nathan James for burial.
Danny stood by the rail on the top deck, tossing a ball to Halsey, surreptitiously watching the ceremony going on below. The Master Chief had suggested that the group needed the opportunity to say goodbye and Ray Diaz had agreed, his voice quivering, his eyes darted everywhere except the bottom of the rhib where Cody's body lay. And, of course, the Master Chief was right. These kids had been at summer camp, cut off from civilization when the Red Flu hit. Like so many on the Nathan James, none of them knew what had happened to their families, their friends. All they knew was that nobody ever arrived to take them home. They needed to see Cody's body, to know for certain that he was gone. It was an opportunity to get the closure that they were unlikely to get in any other area of their lives.
Flipping the ball to Halsey, Danny found himself replaying the events of the day before, searching for the errors that turned a simple mission to harvest fresh-water mussels for Rachel into a firefight that ended with a sixteen-year-old kid dead.
In retrospect, the entire op was a mess, right from the moment they ran into the kids. Twelve of them, ranging in age from sixteen-year-old Ray Diaz to ten-year-old Natalie Wolchuck, driven from their summer camp upriver to the docks in search of food and supplies. Originally their attempt to capture Burk was more amusing than concerning, everyone on the TAC team assuming this was a case of scared kids aggressively defending their territory. But after Ray mentioned the bounty, that all changed.
A reward for capturing anyone in a military uniform, and a second, heftier reward for the capture of Doctor Rachel Scott.
Really, they should have cut their losses, gathered the mussels, inoculated the kids, and gotten the hell out of dodge. But Captain Chandler wanted to know who was behind the bounty, hoping that it would lead them to the submarine, going so far as to agree to Ray's outrageous terms. Not just taking the other kids to the Nathan James - which was the only safe option anyway, they couldn't leave the kids there to deal with the fallout - but letting Ray stay. Those moments played in Danny's head over and over again, and he wondered how Ray managed to fool all of them. Ravit was the only one to protest, pulling both Danny and the Master Chief aside.
"They're kids. They shouldn't be involved."
Danny gave her a level look. Sure Natalie was a kid, but Ray and Cody were sixteen and Colin and Sydney were both fifteen. Definitely old enough to know what they were doing. "They tried to take Burk hostage. They involved themselves."
Still, Ravit refused to let it go, tenacity being one of her best, and most annoying, traits. "It's wrong. We should leave before anyone figures out we were here."
"We can't take the chance that the kids tell the Immunes we were here and they follow us," the Master Chief offered solemnly. "This is the best way."
But, of course, in the end Ravit was right. Ray and Cody were too young to understand what they had gotten themselves involved with, and the failure of the adults around them to take teenage male bravado into account resulted in the death of a kid.
How Cody managed to slip off the rhib, even with the other kids covering for him, was disconcerting. Teylor took responsibility for not noticing that Cody was missing when they headed back, acknowledging that he should have counted heads instead of a roll-call, but the lapse was frightening. The XO was already organizing some evacuation practice drills to drill home the point. Still, no matter the reason, the end result was the same. Cody was dead, caught by a stray bullet through a door while he was hiding - no doubt terrified - in the building that had been his home for months now. Gone before the team even knew that he was in danger, everyone believing him to be safely on his way to the Nathan James.
And the men they captured, the entire purpose of the operation, had yet to provide any intel, useful or otherwise. They were simply foot-soldiers in a war that they didn't understand, told to capture anyone in Navy uniform by the Ramseys and not smart enough to question those orders. That's what Cody's life was worth. Dumb, dumber and dumbest.
"You doing okay?" Kara asked, bending down to scratch the dog's ears before moving to stand next to him at the rail, their hands not quite touching, but so close that they might as well be. Down below the ceremony was finishing, the Captain assisting Ray in tipping the board holding Cody's body over the side. Each child stepped forward to toss what appeared to be a flower into the water below puzzling him for a few minutes, before he realized that they were lilies from the pond where Teylor and Wolf had gone to gather the oysters.
"He was a kid, Kara. No different from that girl in Florida." Clamping his jaw closed, Danny stared out into the endless water, feeling Halsey pressing against his legs. "This was our fault. Ravit warned us that Ray wasn't old enough to understand but I ignored her. She was right. Ray had no idea what he was getting himself into. Neither did Cody. He thought it was exciting. Like a video game."
Kara took a moment to pet Halsey before she responded, her calm comment not what he was expecting. "Ravit was wrong."
"What?"
"Ray is sixteen. So was Cody. Only two years younger than Mason or Miller." She let that sink in. "Ray and Cody weren't too young. We screwed up, yes. We should have made sure that neither Cody or Ray were there when the Immunes arrived. But that doesn't make us responsible. Cody is dead because he made the decision to sneak off the rhib and hide in the marina. And he was old enough to understand that actions have consequences."
"The penalty was too high, Kara. Cody died." The weight hung heavily on his shoulders. Ray was now alone, staring in the direction of the ship's wake, as though he could still see Cody. The same way that Danny stood only a few short months ago, watching Frankie's body slide under the waves.
"I know. And we can't change that. Ray can't change that. He's just going to have to figure out how to move on. Just like we do every day."
Silence fell and Danny resumed tossing the ball to Halsey until a sight on the deck below drew all of their attention. President Michener was walking towards Ray, Carlton trailing several feet behind. Kara nibbled her lip before turning. "Do you think we can trust him?"
Danny took a moment to check the deck around them to make sure that nobody was close enough to overhear. "I don't know. He was in pretty deep with the Ramseys. And CO gave strict orders to keep him away from Niels. That can't be a good sign."
"Wonder if that had anything to do with Michener refusing to let Rachel perform a biopsy on Niels," Kara mussed. At Danny's inquisitive look, she explained. "Rachel believes that a tissue sample from Niels' lungs will help her research on the powderized cure. Niels won't volunteer, of course."
"Of course not. The asshole started the damn thing and now won't even try to help."
"Anyway, Rachel asked Michener to let her to do the procedure anyway. Michener refused. Said he wouldn't sign off on medical procedures without consent."
Apparently the man did have a few principles left. Danny glanced at Ray, noticing the way his hands were clenched, his jaw tight, as he spoke to Michener, obviously struggling with his emotions. Then Michener's hand fell on Ray's shoulder and a slight smile crossed the teenager's face, the President managing to somehow lighten the mood. "How will we ever go back to a normal life?"
Kara didn't answer immediately, her gaze out on the water, her face giving nothing away. "Being here on the ship, all we think about is the cure and the submarine. Once we get to New Orleans things will be different."
"What will you do once we get there?"
The question hung between them. It wasn't one that they had discussed, not since Michener made the unilateral decision to turn the Nathan James towards New Orleans. Kara was already four months pregnant, and there was no telling when the James would be returning to Norfolk.
Kara turned away, looking out at the water, her profile giving him no clue as to her thoughts. "I don't know. The chatter that we are already hearing, it's so normal. People talking about borrowing a cup of sugar and planning birthday parties for kids and discussing the weather. There's a community there. It wouldn't be a bad place to use as a base of operations. Might be a good place to put down roots. Raise a baby."
He tried to imagine it. He and Kara with their own boat, a crib tucked into the corner between the mini-kitchen and the bunk. Sitting down for dinner together. Going to bed together every night. Talking to neighbors not about possible threats but about birthday cakes and presents. But no matter how hard he tried, Danny could not picture it. The images shifting away, never crystallizing. "Maybe."
He thought he saw a flicker of sadness cross her face at his doubtful reply, but before he could ask, she turned towards him, a teasing smile on her face. "But it's not like we need to figure it out. Not right away. Five months is a long time. Long enough for you to sweep me off my feet."
And long enough for eighty percent of the world to die.
Danny slid his hand to cover Kara's. She was right. Five months was an eternity. There was no reason to rush into anything.
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Danny grabbed a couple cookies and a soda as he made his way across the mess to where Chris was sitting, surprised to see the teenager alone. "Where's Betrise?"
A scowl crossed Chris's face. "She had to help Lieutenant Mason with something."
Danny hid a smile at Chris's piss-poor mood. Chris's crush on Bertrise was painfully obvious, as was Betrise's crush on Will Mason. In fact, the only person in that little love-triangle who wasn't wearing their heart on their sleeve was Mason. Although it was possible that the guy was simply more adept at hiding his feelings. He certainly liked Bertrise but whether he liked her as a little cousin or as a romantic interest, Danny was clueless. The realization that there was only a year difference in age between Will and Chris struck Danny again. He had trusted his life to Mason. He did trust his life to Mason. A kid barely older than the little brother. He needed to stop picturing Chris as a five-year-old kid stuck in a tree and see him for who he was - a young man who was doing what he could to help find and spread the cure.
He bit into one of the oatmeal cookies. Not Bacon's best, but not terrible either. "Did Commander Garnett tell you about the new rules?"
With the addition of ten kids to the rooster, the CO had been forced to relax his rule about civilians requiring a guard to move around the ship. They simply didn't have the manpower to escort fourteen civilians everywhere, in addition to guarding Michener, Niels and the three Immune prisoners. Fleetingly, Danny wondered if anyone thought to tell Caro about the change. Hopefully. Otherwise he could expect another lecture next time he saw his sister.
"Yeah." Chris shrugged.
"I heard what you said to President Michener, about maybe joining the Navy."
Chris shrugged again. "Yeah, we'll see. Not like there's much else to do."
Danny raised an eyebrow, offering Chris a cookie. "Sounds like a great reason to join the Navy to me. Not much else to do."
"Har, har." Chris took a small bite. "I can't just do nothing. You and Caroline are both busy all the time. And now Dad's helping out with the kids. I need something to do. Might as well join the Navy."
It was a common complaint from Chris. A much younger third child, he often seemed lost, unable to make a decision, always feeling outpaced by siblings who - in Chris's mind anyway - were never hesitant or undecided. Maybe that was why Chris seemed so much younger than Miller or Mason or a dozen other new enlists who joined the Nathan James just before the trip to the Arctic. His air of uncertainty.
Or maybe Danny was simply unable to see his baby brother as anything else.
"The middle of a crisis is the worst time to make a decision, Chris. Wait until we've had time to spread the cure and deal with the Immunes." Danny remembered Kara's words from earlier. "New Orleans sounds like it escaped pretty unscathed. I bet that once we're there things will get back to normal before you know it."
"Uh-huh. I'm sure we'll be sending men to Mars next year," Chris snapped.
Unimpressed with his brother's attitude, but not wanting to get into it in public, Danny changed the topic. "We have a couple other kids your age on board. I would be happy to introduce you."
Chris shrugged. "If you want."
"Let's go."
Ten minutes later, having run into Bertrise and convinced her to join them, Danny knocked on the cabin door. After some discussion, a few of the more senior enlisted had been moved into officer's quarters so the group of kids could bunk together. Although putting that many people in a cabin was a tight fit, the group had not wanted to be separated. Knocking on the door, Danny nodded to Teylor, who was seated on one of the lower bunks reading a book to some of the younger kids. With a pang, Danny remembered that Teylor had several young nieces and nephews.
"Do other people have their families here?" Ray asked once the introductions are done.
Danny exchanged glances with Teylor. He hadn't considered how these children - presumably orphans - would take meeting his brother. "No. Most of the crew with surviving family left the ship back in Norfolk."
Ray gave Chris a challenging look."So why are you here then?"
"We have been helping Doctor Scott with her research," Betrise offered, her voice melodic and calming.
One of the little girls, Evie, sat up. "How are you helping Doctor Scott? Can we help too?"
Chris glanced at Danny, his reluctance to answer the question obvious. Danny gave the child his most charming smile. "Sorry girls. Bertrise and Chris have something special in their blood that Doctor Scott needs. But I bet she would be happy to have dinner with all of you one night and tell you about her monkey."
"Really?" Evie sounded awe-stricken.
"Sure," Danny replied, forcing himself to sound enthusiastic, wondering what it would cost him to convince Rachel to take a night off to hang out with a couple of pre-teens.
"You're immune," Colin interjected, his comment directed at Chris, his stance tense. "Like the guys who killed Cody. That's why you're on the ship."
In an instant, the temperature in the room cooled noticeably, the younger children retreating to their cots, staring at Chris and Bertrise with wide eyes. Chris's chin shot up. "We had nothing to do with Cody dying. Bertrise is the reason that Doctor Scott found the cure to the virus. So you should be thanking her."
"What about you?" Colin demanded. "Why are you here if that doctor already found the cure?"
"Colin, cool it," Ray began, but Colin was having none of it.
"No, man, I want to know why I should trust him. Those Immunes killed Cody. How do we know this guy's not going to kill us?"
"You guys know about antibiotics?" Teylor spoke up, drawing a round of nods from the group. "It's like that. What if there was only one kind of antibiotics? How do you think that would work? Not well, right, because some people would be allergic to it. And some people would need a stronger version. And you'd want a back-up just in case the first dose didn't work." Another round of nods. "That's what Doctor Scott is doing, and what Chris and Bertrise are helping with. Right now she's trying to make a version of the vaccine that doesn't require a shot."
"No shot?" Natalie asked, her eyes wide.
"Nope, no shot," Teylor responded solemnly.
"That would be awesome!" Natalie bubbled. "I hate shots."
Colin stood still for a few more seconds, before returning his focus to Chris. "So what do you do on this tin-can for fun anyway?"
"Well, the lounge has a pretty kickass game system," Chris replied. "Want to check it out?"
As the group moved down the pathway towards the crew lounge, Teylor and Danny exchanged glances. The disagreement was over for now, but neither man was fooled. Colin wouldn't be the last person to react that way. The pandemic had caused rifts that were only now coming to light - immune versus non, those with surviving family versus those without, those who were in the epicenter versus those who had the good fortunate to be far away.
Saving their country was going to take more than locating the cure. It was going to take a leader. And Danny had no idea whether Michener was up for the job.