I wanted to get this out before my week gets really insane. This is sort of a lull before things really start picking up next chapter. I really do appreciate all the reviews. :-)
Nevada...
"You know Trish and I agree on almost nothing, but I'm with her on this- you are overreacting. Look at the picture. Angela is so happy she's practically glowing. This Eric person is not a serial killer, has a good job, helps his community, and sounds like a decent guy. It's what you've always wanted for her, right? Let it go."
"But, Joyce..."
"No. Guys can be stupid when they're young, especially college guys. You weren't exactly Einstein when we met. The only difference between you back then and Angela's boyfriend is that you were allowed to shoot a gun."
"Don't you care at all about your daughter?"
She got up from the couch and walked away from him. Alvin had been doing that a lot lately, referring to Angela as her daughter or making comments about the three of them as a family. She didn't know if it was because he was sick and the illness made him long for the past, but it made her uncomfortable. "I'll always care about her well-being, but I haven't been a part of her life in almost 18 years. I highly doubt she gives a damn what I think."
"That's not true."
"I signed away my rights to her because I didn't think I could be the kind of mother she needed or deserved. It's not as if I was one of those parents who saw their kid every other weekend. I didn't see her at all by my own choice."
"She did need you, you know?"
"It looks like Angela's gotten on quite well without me. She's probably done better than she would've had I remained in her life. I did what I had to do for both of us. You are the one that she needs. You need to tell her what is wrong with you so you can spend some time together before it's too late."
"You and Patricia are more alike than you think," he grumbled.
"Don't you think your daughter needs you?"
Alvin picked up the article he printed and looked at Angela's smiling face. "Of course I do, but what would I be doing to her? Would I ask her to come out here and watch me slowly disintegrate? I'm already a shell of my former self. Now I'm stuck in some sort of limbo, I'm sick and the tumors are still there, but they haven't grown in a long time. They're just there, mocking me with their very existence. No," he shook his head, "I already asked Angela to put her life on hold for me once. I can't do that to her again."
Joyce still couldn't believe the distance he put between himself and Angela. After all, he was the one that had wanted to do more than simply date. When she found out she was pregnant, he was the one that wanted to get married and try to be a family. She gave it a shot for his sake. He doted on Angela and truly seemed like a natural father. How had he let them come to this? "Am I putting my life on hold by being here for you? Is Trish by taking care of you?"
"It's not the same."
"You're right, because at least at the end, we will be able to say we have memories of you to take with us. Angela won't have that if you don't change your thinking."
"You promised me that you would be there for Angela and explain my reasoning to her when the time comes."
"And if she is willing to listen, I will keep that promise, but why should she listen to me?"
"You're her mother."
"Alvin," she sighed, "I terminated my parental rights years ago. I gave birth to her and for a while we raised her, but I haven't been her mother since she was ten. I was never cut out for motherhood. Whatever family you think you are going to rebuild...give it up because it's not happening. We have whatever this is that we have. It's unusual, but it works for us. The family you need to rebuild has two people in it, you and Angela." Joyce watched as he reached for the phone. "What are you doing?"
"I'm calling my daughter. Wasn't that the point of your speech?"
"Don't lecture her about her boyfriend," Joyce advised as she picked up her coat.
"You're leaving?"
"It's probably best. Or are you ready to explain our relationship to Angela?"
"No."
"I thought so." She leaned over and gave him a kiss. "I'll call you later, okay?" He nodded.
/
/
"Thanks for coming over. Eric's at work and honestly, I'm not sure how handy he is. I don't know what happened. I was reorganizing my books and the shelf just came down." Angela led Alan to her bookcase. "I was going to try to fix it myself and then I realized I don't have a screwdriver, or a drill, or any tools at all really," she shrugged.
"We'll have to get you at least a basic tool kit, everybody should one. Though, I wouldn't want you to try to put this back up by yourself. It's too heavy for you to try to lift when you're pregnant. The shelf didn't hit you when it fell, did it?"
"No, I'm fine." Angela smiled at his concern. The shelf wasn't that heavy, but it would've been awkward trying to hold it up by herself.
"Tell me you at least have an emergency kit in your car."
"That I do have."
"Good." Alan sat down and took a look at the shelf. "Now, let's see what went wrong here."
The oven beeped, indicating it was done preheating. "I was going to warm up a couple of Amy's cinnamon rolls. Did you want any?"
He looked up at Angela in amazement. His wife always said they were too much work to make all the time. "You got Amy to make them at a time other than Christmas? How?"
"I had a craving," she explained with a smile. "You should see my freezer. And she said she would make me a large batch every month for as long as I crave them."
"Could you crave them every month?"
"Eric asked me the same thing," Angela laughed. "I'll warm a couple for you."
"Thanks. I think I found the problem." Alan held up the shelf. "The screws were too short for the brackets. I don't know how I didn't notice it when I built it initially. You're lucky it didn't fall earlier."
"You put together so much for me that day I can see how an oversight can happen. Do I need to buy replacement parts," she asked from the kitchen.
"No, I should have everything with me." He looked around at the books on the floor. There were a few novels, but they were mostly books related to pregnancy. "Trying to get ready," he asked Angela as she walked back into the room.
"What do you mean?"
"All the books," he gestured to the floor.
"Oh," she smiled, "yeah, I have things to learn. You should see Eric's apartment, though. I seriously think he's developing a problem. He has bought so many books already it's getting ridiculous. He has more pregnancy books than I do so he can know exactly what I'm going through. He's gotten three name books and the other day I found a book about potty training. Those are just the ones I know about."
"Potty training? All ready?"
"He said he wants to be prepared for anything. I know books aren't going to have all the answers, but I figure they'll offer a good starting point."
"You both seem pretty excited," Alan said as he searched his toolbox.
"Yeah, well, Eric is. In fact, I think excited is an understatement," she laughed.
"And you?"
"I alternate between excited and absolutely petrified. Each day kind of ranks on a scale of 1-10 on how confident I feel. I don't think I've had a 10 yet."
"I have news for you, in my 31 years in parenting a 10 is hard to come by. I've had a few 9's, but it's rare to be 100 percent confident with the decisions you make. Especially when you know those decisions will affect the life of another person, not just another person, but your child. It's hard to stop second-guessing yourself, but you do your best."
"You're not exactly making me feel better."
"Sorry."
"That's okay. I appreciate the honesty. Eric has been so confident and sure. He says he's scared, but he certainly doesn't show it. Sometimes I think he's saying it for my benefit because he knows how freaked out I was at first."
"You were?"
"Oh, yeah," Angela nodded, surprised by how much she was sharing with Eric's dad. This is the first time that she can remember where they've had a conversation alone. "I didn't tell him I was pregnant for almost a week after I found out. Of course now I know how stupid that was, but I was in full blown panic mode. Luckily you raised a very forgiving son and he was more interested in being happy about the baby than being angry at me." The timer on the oven went off. Angela stood. "I'll go check the rolls."
"I'll start putting this back. It should only take a few minutes."
While Angela was taking the cinnamon rolls out of the oven her cell phone began to ring. She sighed when she saw it was her dad. She hated that she was starting to dread their conversations. There was never anything new to say. "Hey, dad." She might as well get this out of the way.
"Hi, baby, how are you?"
"I'm good. How are you?"
"Oh, fine. So, I..." He heard drilling start in the background. "What's going on over there? Are you by a construction site?"
"No, one of my shelves fell when I was putting away some books and Eric's dad is fixing it for me," she explained as she added icing to the cinnamon rolls.
"It fell? On you? Are you okay, were you hurt?"
"It didn't fall on me, dad, it just fell. I'm fine. Alan said something about screws being too short for the brackets or something, but he's fixing it."
Alvin frowned, surprised he felt jealous that Alan Matthews was fixing his daughter's shelves. After all, he was grateful to the Matthews' for being there and filling in where he couldn't. "You could've called me."
"You're almost 2,500 miles away and it's just a bookshelf."
"I would've talked you through the repair over the phone."
"I don't have any tools." Why was her dad acting weird about a stupid shelf?
"You don't have any...you need to buy a tool kit. This way you can do simple repairs."
"I know, dad. Alan said the same thing."
'"Oh, well, good."
"Did you call for a reason," she asked after he was quiet for a moment.
"I just wanted to know how you were doing."
"I'm good, dad, in fact, I'm great. Work is going well, I'm headed to New York next week to cover Fashion Week and everything else is going well."
"That's great," he said in a hollow voice. Alvin was happy his daughter was doing so well, but it seemed she was excelling without him. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? This was why he kept his illness quiet, because he didn't want her to put her life on hold to take care of him. Her life certainly wasn't stalled out, she was thriving without him. Her career was terrific, she was in a seemingly happy relationship that was a mystery to him, and…
"Dad," Angela interrupted his thoughts, "if there's nothing else, I'm going to let you go. I just took something out of the oven."
"You can bake now?" His daughter can bake.
"It's more like reheating, but the important thing is I didn't burn it. So, I guess I'll talk to you later?"
"Of course. I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you, too, dad." She set her phone on the counter and place a few cinnamon rolls on a plate before walking back into the living room. "Sorry about that. My dad called."
"No problem. The shelf is done. It should be safe now. How is your dad," Alan asked as he helped himself to a roll.
"Okay, I suppose."
Alan couldn't help but notice she was more tense than before. "Is he looking forward to becoming a grandfather?"
"If he knew maybe he would be."
"You haven't told him?"
"We're not exactly close anymore. I haven't decided if I'm going to say anything about the baby."
"But..."
"Can we drop this? Whatever you say is not going to change my mind. I have my reasons and I'd rather not go into them."
"Sure."
"Thank you."
Alan was dying to know what was going on, but pressing Angela for details would probably only get him kicked out."Speaking of the baby, I realize I may not have had the most positive reaction when you and Eric announced it."
"That's okay. You looked about as shocked as I felt when I found out."
"Still, I want you to know I am looking forward to being a grandfather." He handed Angela a gift bag.
"I didn't even see you bring this in," she laughed. Angela reached into the bag and, under a mound of tissue paper, found a soft toy turtle with a multicolor shell. "Aww, it's adorable."
"I noticed the turtle on the frame for the ultrasound picture. Then I saw that little guy and they're practically identical." He noticed she was getting teary. "If you don't like it you can exchange it for something else."
She hugged the plush animal to her chest. "I love it. Thank you. It's the dumb hormones. I cry over anything. You know, this is the baby's first present."
"Good, I'm glad. I almost went with a baseball toy. Then I realized that would be used more by Eric until the kid got closer to nine or ten months."
"And even then they would probably fight over it," Angela joked.
/
/
"Hey, Eric, your girlfriend let you out of the house," Max teased as he and one of the anchors walked into Eric's office. "What did she do, microchip you like people do their dogs?"
"Very funny, guys," Eric smiled and turned away from his computer. "Angela wasn't that bad."
"She all but forbid any other woman to make to make a pass at you. What are you going to do?"
"Send the women your way, Joe, what else?"
"Please, like I need the help. All I need to say to the ladies is, 'I'm on TV,' and they come running."
Eric and Max looked at each other and tried not to laugh. "Sure, whatever you say, Joe."
"I'll see you two at airtime. I'm going to see what the lead stories are."
"Okay." He looked at Max who took a seat in an empty chair. "The story didn't come off that bad, did it?"
"No, just giving you a hard time. Still, having your girlfriend declare to the entire city that you are off limits- that's pretty hot."
"Yeah," Eric grinned, "and it's certainly a step up from my previous relationship."
"Am I interrupting anything," a woman asked as she knocked on the doorframe.
"No, Carolyn, what's up?"
"Tim wanted me to give you these forms for your paternity leave request," she smiled. "Congratulations, daddy."
"Paternity leave," Max asked.
"Oh, did I say something I shouldn't have," she clapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm hardly down here, so I don't know what people know."
"No, we're telling people now. Angela's due in August," he explained as he took the papers.
"Just have her doctor fill those out and you bring them back to me. Then when the little one is born your leave will go into effect."
"That sounds good. Thanks, Carolyn."
"No problem."
"Wow, you really didn't waste any time, did you," Max said after Carolyn was gone.
"You can't plan everything in life."
"Congratulations."
"Thanks."
"I have one word of advice: sleep now." Eric laughed. "I'm not kidding. The twins are almost three and I still haven't caught up on all the sleep I lost during that first year. Sleep becomes precious, sometimes more important than sex. Trust me, when they do sleep, Gina and I have made a few judgement calls on what's more important at the moment and sleep wins out sometimes."
"That's more than I needed to know about your marriage, thanks," he made a face.
"It's a glimpse into your future, pal," he slapped his shoulder. "But seriously, you're going to be great. There's nothing better than that moment when you're holding the baby for the first time and they wrap their entire hand around your finger."
"Really?"
"Find a quiet corner because you'll definitely cry. Even I cried and I turned in my heart years ago to be able to do some of these stories they have me working on."
"Oh, hey Eric," the director called from the hall, "I don't know if you realized this but we go on the air in four minutes!"
"Oops, sorry, on my way. Thanks, Max."
/
/
"You can use your key, you know," Angela said as she let Eric in. "You used it the other night."
"That was when I thought something was wrong. I don't want to just barge in if you're not expecting me."
"I'm always expecting you," she laughed. "Let's face it, if you're not here I'm at your place."
"You're right. You should have a key to my apartment. I'll make you a copy tomorrow."
"Did we just ruin what could've been a romantic moment?"
He hung his coat on the back of the chair. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know, some people make a big deal out of giving each other keys to their apartments and we treat it like it's nothing."
"It's not nothing, but we already trust each other enough to have complete access to everything, a key is a little thing compared to what else is going on in our lives."
"I suppose you're right."
"But if you want romance," Eric reached into a bag and pulled out a bouquet of flowers, "I can try a little harder."
"They're beautiful," she smiled and took them from him. "Thank you." Angela pulled him close for a kiss. "First your dad brings a present and now you? I'm feeling spoiled."
"My dad was here?"
"Yeah. My bookshelf fell and you were at work, so I called to see if he could fix it." She walked over to the couch and picked up the turtle. "Look what he bought for the baby. Isn't it the cutest thing?"
Eric was still stuck on the shelf. "The bookshelf fell? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. It didn't fall on me, just out of the wall. He fixed it, though, so it's good. But look," she held the toy in his face, "baby gift."
He took the stuffed animal from Angela. "It almost matches the picture frame we have," he smiled.
"I think that's why he bought it." She brought the flowers to her face and inhaled deeply. "I'm going to put these in water."
Eric looked at the toy in his hands. He would have to thank his dad. They hadn't talked since his birthday, but he could tell he had been shocked by the news about the baby. At least his dad seemed to be coming around. Eric already had Cory upset, he didn't know what he would do if his dad was unhappy and unwilling to offer support.
"Are you okay," Angela asked as she walked back into the room. "You're looking at that toy like it holds the answer to the meaning of life."
"Nope," he set it aside, "it was just a long night, not much weather."
"Oh, no blizzards, or storms or dangerous weather going on, poor baby," she mocked and wrapped her arms around him.
"I didn't mean it like that. I do have some good news. Tonya asked me if we could switch our shifts on Valentine's Day. Apparently she just broke up with her boyfriend and would rather work that night instead of being around couples. Do you want to do anything?"
"Isn't that Josh's birthday?"
"We're having dinner the next day."
"Oh. If you want we can do something. We should be more romantic, but I don't want to feel obligated by the date on the calendar."
"Does that mean I can return your gift?"
Angela's eyes lit up. "You got me a gift?"
"Yes, but I wouldn't want to offend you by acting according to a date on the calendar."
"If you return my gift, I'll return yours'."
"Now who's listening to the calendar," Eric smirked.
"Shut up."
"Do you want me to try to get reservations someplace? I know most of our dates have been at home. I thought I would have to work so I didn't even think of dinner."
"No," she shook her head, "I don't want to be in a crowded restaurant. I still get sick occasionally." She looked at the turtle on the couch. "Maybe we could go shopping."
"Shopping," he raised his eyebrows. "The mall is going to be full of people who forgot gifts. You don't want to deal with a crowded restaurant, but you'll do crowded stores?"
"No, I meant a baby store. We wouldn't get anything big," she clarified, "but I know you've been wanting to buy more than just books."
"Really," he smiled. "I would love that. You realize the danger in this, don't you? You've seen me with the books, once I start actually buying things for the baby I may not be able to stop."