Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ben looked up from mixing his legendary concoction when he heard Adam trotting down the stairs. "I was about to come up and get you. It's time you and Joe took the sleighs out to see who needs a ride."

"I came down to do just that, Pa. Where's Joe?"

"He's hitching the horses. Where's Shiloh?"

Adam had headed toward the door, but stopped in mid-stride, scratching his upper lip. "She was…ah…a little tired, so she's taking a nap before everyone gets here."

Ben grunted. "It's no wonder she's tired. She's been a mess the last few days."

Furrowing his brow, Adam detoured over to stand next to his father. "It's been that bad?"

Ben smiled and squeezed Adam's shoulder. "She's put up a good front, but as more time passed it was difficult for her to hide her fear for you and Micah. But now that you're both home, I'm sure she'll be all right with a little rest. Even so, we should make sure she doesn't do too much tonight."

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Hoss sat in a chair Mrs. Levine and Annie had moved next to the fireplace to keep him warm. He was dressed in slacks and a shirt for the first time since his fight with the wolves. Mrs. Levine always opened her home to neighbors and friends on Christmas Eve. There was no dancing like the parties at home, but he still felt just a bit more comfortable with the reminder of home; the people were happy and kind, and the well wishes genuine. Rather than staying for the evening, the visitors would come, enjoy a drink and a bit of some treat Mrs. Levine or Annie had made, make small talk, and then leave amid a cordial 'Merry Christmas.'

When the influx of people began to slow, Annie and Mrs. Levine sat with Hoss in the parlor after they had fussed around him, making sure he had everything he wanted or needed.

"Mrs. Levine, if you don't mind my askin', how come you don't have more boarders? This is pretty near one of the nicest places I ever stayed."

"Well, Hoss, it's actually simple. Living in a boarding house makes one sound like a resident; someone who's planning on staying. I had several boarders before the army started the draft, but they all left hoping to avoid it. Annie and I didn't think you'd have a problem since your family is so well known, but it seems Captain Fletcher doesn't want to accept that you're here for only a short time."

Annie took his hand. "Dr. Stephenson was here tonight. I'm sure he'll tell the captain that you're looking better. We need to think of something, Hoss. The last thing I want is for you to get involved in this war, especially since the only reason you're here is to spend Christmas with me."

"Well, Annie, I don't see how's they can draft me just yet. I cain't even walk down them stairs by myself. That telegram I asked you to send Pa'll let him know what's going on here. I got a bad feeling the government might try something on the Ponderosa…or maybe try to sway Pa over to their way of thinkin'."

"I'm more worried what will happen when you're better and able to travel home. I have a feeling they won't let you go home."

Hoss brushed his thumb over her hand and smiled up at her. "It's Christmas. Ain't nothing gonna happen tonight or tomorrow, so you just stop frettin'. I brought you some presents from back home, and I want you to enjoy opening them tomorrow."

There was a light tap on the door followed by singing, and while Mrs. Levine went to open the door, Annie helped Hoss out of the chair. The three of them stood out on the front porch and listened to the sweet sound of carolers harmonizing Silent Night.

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Joe and Adam had to make only one trip to pick up party goers. Several other ranchers in the area who had sleighs brought in load after load of people. Rarely did anyone miss the Cartwright's Christmas Eve party. The food was delicious and plentiful as was the wine, Ben's famous punch, and this year's Egg Nog, Shiloh's favorite holiday drink.

There was only one problem. By the time Adam returned with a full sleigh, she hadn't come down yet.

Shiloh had lain in the bed for awhile after he left, basking in the lingering pleasure of his love, smiling at the memory of the gentle touch of his fingertips, the softness of his lips, and the warmth of his skin against hers. It was during these times between them that she could let go of the constant swirling thoughts in her mind. If only she could always feel that warm and safe and carefree. It wasn't that she didn't feel that security all the time. Rather, she was always thinking about her horses, her singing, and what she still thought of as her ranch, at least partly. She was terrified that when the baby came, she'd somehow be separated from all that.

Throwing the covers off, she sat up with her legs hanging over the side of the bed. Dizziness consumed her for a moment, and that caused queasiness in her stomach. She mentally admonished herself for sitting up too fast, but all those thoughts had been crowding her mind again, and she didn't want to think about them. It was Christmas Eve; time for her to relax and enjoy the company of her family and friends.

She stood to dress, but suddenly bent almost double, her hand going under her stomach as she searched for the bed post with her other hand. When she found it, she pulled herself into it and closed her eyes, waiting for the pain in the lower part of her stomach to pass, and when it didn't, she lowered herself slowly back down to the edge of the bed.

Tapping on the door before he entered, Adam pushed it open, and seeing Shiloh hugging the bed post, he rushed to her side, his brows creased in concern. "Are you all right?"

The pain was subsiding, but still with her eyes closed, she attempted a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. I just sat up too fast. I'm a little dizzy."

"Then why are you holding your stomach in your arm?"

"Looking down, she snorted and closed her eyes again. I guess that's just where it landed." Moving the hand that had been on her stomach to his thigh, she patted. "Really, Adam. There's no cause for concern. I just moved too fast. If you'll remember, I've been getting dizzy since very early on."

Pulling her away from the bedpost, he wrapped his arms around her, raising his chin so that her head fit in the crook of his neck. "Maybe you should stay up here for awhile. I'll come back up and check on you."

"Don't be silly," she said, gently pushing away from him. "I'm fine. The dizziness is gone. And just to be sure, why don't you wait up here until I get dressed, and then you can help me down the stairs?"

He searched her eyes for the truth. Not that it would have made any difference. She had gotten very good at letting him see what she wanted him to see, and she had no intention of telling him about the pain...at least, not tonight…or tomorrow.

When they came down the stairs, Adam moved his arm around her waist and held her other hand, holding her firmly against him.

"Adam," she whispered. "Relax. I'm not going to fall."

He quirked his mouth and raised an eyebrow. To be sure, he was not about to let go, and didn't until she was seated comfortably in the blue chair out of the way of the dance area, but close enough to watch. Puckering her mouth, she stewed as she watched him walk straight over to Paul and engage him in conversation as they both periodically glanced her way. She sighed agitatedly and looked away when both men headed toward her.

"Shiloh, you look lovely tonight," said Paul with a smile. "It's been a little while since I've been able to check in on you. Are you having any problems?"

She narrowed her eyes at Adam before she answered, looking up at Paul with big, bright eyes and a sweet smile. "Paul, whatever Adam has told you…well…he's just an expectant father. I'm fine."

"And what about this dizziness? He said you were holding onto the bedpost for dear life."

Looking down at her hands in her lap to prevent Paul from seeing her ire at Adam, she said quietly, "I was lying in bed when I realized it was getting late, so I jumped up very fast, and that's why I was dizzy. I sat for a moment, and the dizziness passed. After that, I had no trouble dressing."

"I still think it would be a good idea if I examine you just to be sure."

She folded her lips into a tight line, aggravated that her Christmas Eve, her time to forget about everything for just a little while and enjoy herself was slipping away from her. "When would you like to do that, doctor?"

"I think now would be prudent. Don't you?"

Adam held out his hand to help her up, but she just looked at it, then glanced up at him with fire in her eyes. Ignoring his hand, she quickly stood straight up without even pushing off the arms of the chair, gave Adam one more peeved look, lifted her skirts and began to ascend the stairs with both men following close behind her. "So much for enjoying Christmas Eve."

"What was that?" asked Adam. He could see her head wagging as they climbed the stairs. Leaning over to Paul, he said, "She's angry with me. You might have your hands full."

Paul was amused at her antics and smiled, shaking his head at the same time. "It will be over soon enough, Adam. She'll still get to enjoy the party, I'm sure."