It has been proven statistically that anxiety is one of the leading causes of heart attacks, and high blood pressure was seriously right up there with it. Through the entire week leading up to Edward's birthday, I felt as if I could very well end up as one of those statistics. I had some doubts about his gift, increasing as the day loomed closer. My nervousness worsened because my sweet boyfriend had actually become excited about it, a first according to Esme and Alice. That made it all the more important. I tried to make the journal more meaningful by adding pictures from my youth, some moderately cute and embarrassing. He seemed wholly fascinated by the ones Dad had on display all over the house, so I was sure he would appreciate that insight.

Two whole days on the calendar stood between me and utter disaster—all right, that was an exaggeration. Edward would love whatever I gave him, and I knew that. At least, that was what I'd told myself for the last few days. He would appreciate the thought that went behind his gift; that much I knew. Yet, it didn't seem enough.

I growled in frustration and put away the journal. Earlier in the day, I had gone out for groceries and found a gift bag for Edward's present. Even when my hands weren't shaking with anticipation, I wasn't the best gift wrapper in the world. I definitely wouldn't be handing over my first gift to him wrapped so haphazardly.

After his birthday was over, I would never again whine about anyone giving me gifts. Sometimes, a lot of thought and effort went into the whole ordeal, and for me to complain about it, was stupid and poor manners. It was stressful and now more than ever, I appreciated my parents putting up with my stubbornness in the past.

Edward was on his way over under the pretense of lunch plans, while in reality, he just wanted to spend time with me. Dad wasn't too keen on the idea of Edward and I being at the house all alone, but what else was there to do during the summer? I had looked around for jobs, despite my boyfriend's protest. However, Jessica beat me to the only position that seemed available in Forks. I hoped that would not end in disaster, since she would be working with Mike most of the time. Without a trip to Seattle or Port Angeles, there was very little to do that Forks had to offer.

The phone rang disturbing my random thoughts. I answered to be greeted by Alice's confusing line of questioning. "Hold on, Alice. Why does it matter what cake you should get?"

"Because you're the only one eating it," she groaned, no doubt anticipating my rolling eyes.

In the attempt to be less stubborn about them spending money on me, even though technically it was Edward's cake, I chose to offer a compromise. "Vanilla is fine, and please, only a small one. Maybe enough for me and my dad to enjoy for a few days."

"Perfect."

We ended our call as Edward drove up. I met him at the door, and immediately stepped into his open arms once he was inside. After one deep cleansing breath of his scent, we settled in the living room.

"All this trouble for my birthday is ridiculous," Edward expressed several minutes later. "I'd rather spend the time with you." I cocked an eyebrow in question. "Emmett will be a handful."

I laughed and snuggled up against his side. "I can handle him."

"He'll work extra hard to embarrass us both."

"And I'll try even harder to make it worth your while." His body stilled beside mine and I felt the way his throat moved as he swallowed.

His darkening gaze settled on my lips for a moment, before meeting my eyes. "I did ask for some privacy after they give me their gifts, since they have insisted on that as much as you have. They are very excited about this. Once the party aspect is over, my family will be gone for a few hours."

Keeping my eyes on the television screen, I placed my hand on his stomach. In the last few days, we had worked up to some over the clothes touches. He kept his hands on my back, shoulders, and arms, but I had never been able to touch his back for long. Whenever I tried before, the move would eliminate the space between us and that was impossible for him handle yet. My body's reaction to his cool chest against mine drove him to pull away. His abdomen and sides also seemed to be prime points that would cause him to put some distance between us.

"This anticipation is killing me all over again," he said rather deeply, his darkening gaze locked on my face. He told me a couple of nights before that not knowing what I was going to do before I did it, drove him a little crazy. It was both a good and bad thing. The anticipation made my touch headier since he had no clue what I was going to do, while that unknown also worried him. Being able to read someone's thoughts usually had his instincts acting accordingly.

He had none of that with me.

I offered him a small smile and just rubbed the area beneath my palm and his t-shirt. Dressed in a grey V-neck, he made it impossible for me to ignore him. There was something about him looking so casual and touchable that had me reaching for him. His skin beneath the thin cotton was cool to the touch, but started to warm the longer I held my hand there. He watched the way my eyes widened as his muscles twitched. Daringly, I slowly slid my hand over his chest and traced the edge of the neckline with a few fingertips. His sculpted lips parted slightly, his eyes closing at the soft moan I felt vibrate through him.

I knelt beside him, turning his face just so, and exploring his jawline with my lips until I met the corner of his mouth. I stayed away from his neck, since he said it was too sensitive, especially with my lips.

"Bella," he groaned and shivered under my touch. I pulled back slightly, lingering a moment longer by the corner of his mouth. I smiled a little and waited. His eyes opened slowly, his eyes darker than I'd seen in a while. Weeks ago, I would've never gone past my hand on his chest.

Progress was slow, but it was also achingly sweet and made me crave more. I brushed my lips once more on his, sighing as his hand curled behind my neck to keep me there for a while longer. With a smile, I snuggled against his side, earning no protest. He proceeded to show me a book he'd brought with him. It was a classic from Carlisle's library, in French. Edward offered to read it to me, and eventually, I hoped to learn the language, too. The idea of listening to him speaking in French, there was no doubt it would be one ofmy favorite things of the summer.

A couple of hours later, he offered to make dinner for my dad and me, leaving before the timer went off for appearances sake. My nosey neighbors would undoubtedly tell my father that Edward stayed for hours and hours. It sucked, but it was what happened when you lived in a small town. News and rumors spread like wildfire.

Journal writing later that evening consisted of a few laughs and even a dark moment. I told him in more detail about the first day I saw him, describing exactly what I thought and how angry I was about his reaction to me. How I wanted desperately to tell him off the following day, only for him to disappear. I wrote that if he had returned from Alaska as rude as the first day in Biology, I would have. It would remind him of how close he'd come to killing me, but also how he pushed passed his natural instinct to keep me safe, to keep from becoming a monster once again.

He wanted my thoughts, and I laid it all out for him in smudged words and inked tears. The pain, the embarrassment, and the undiscovered love I held for him, even when I hadn't recognized it. Before writing my thoughts for him, I hadn't been able to pinpoint when I'd gone from falling to being in love with him. Recognizing it hadn't been easy then, but now as I wrote the words, I saw each step along that path so clearly. I started falling a little bit at a time, with every piece of himself he showed, like messing up his room for me. However, once I could see the whole of him, without the camouflage, I fell hard and fast, before I had the chance to realize it.

"What are you doing?" I heard him ask from the window. I nearly screeched out loud but managed a hissing whisper for him to close his eyes. Shutting the journal, I slid it under the mattress on my side of the bed. Even though he could find it easily, I knew he wouldn't do that since he seemed to love surprises.

Well, at least ones that didn't put me in any danger or kept me from him.

"Okay, you can open them now." I rolled my eyes at his amused chuckle and moved to the cd player I had gotten for my birthday the year before, unpausing the disc. Earlier, I had been listening to one of our favorite bands that would be playing in Florida when we visited my mother. Since Edward couldn't join me during the day, he bought tickets to the concert. The rest of our nights would likely have us exploring the city and hopefully the beach. We were underage technically, and could only do so much, so our nights would probably be tame. It didn't really matter to either of us since we both seemed to enjoy our quiet evenings.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind me. "I thought you heard me say hello."

I shrugged and shook my head. "I was distracted." He hummed and started to murmur the words to the song that played in low volume. He didn't fight fair. I turned within the cage of his arms, and wrapped mine around his neck. There was no hesitation when he bent to kiss me and we spent the rest of the night listening to music and holding each other as moonlight stretched across the floors and flooded us with light.

~oOo~

The morning of Edward's birthday, I was a mass of nerves. I'd had a few more close calls, trying to squeeze in time to write as much as I could while he was not around, which wasn't often. Not that I was complaining in the slightest, since I loved spending time with him, but it did make my plans more difficult to carry out. And I really wanted it to be special. When he came to pick me up for the party that night, I held the gift bag tight to my chest as his lips touched mine. Alice had somehow convinced my father to allow me to spend the night since we were going shopping the following day with Esme for my trip to Florida. It was only a small white lie, I told myself.

"Bella, breathe," he murmured, our foreheads pressed together, and ran his hands along my arms. "Whatever it is, I will love it."

"You can't know that," I whispered back, lowering my eyes to his chest.

"Even if I didn't have a sister with the gift of foresight, I would still know." His soft, calm voice did relax me some, and when he tilted my chin up with his fingertips to meet his gaze again, I actually smiled. "Because I know you. You wouldn't give me something trivial in the first place, but the fact that you are so nervous about it, shows me how much it means to you. That's all I need to know to be sure that I will love it."

"Okay. As long you don't go so far as to say that I could give you an old sock and you would love it, just because it's from me. Now I know you're not entirely placating me," I replied with a chuckle, which he echoed as he kissed my forehead and led me to his car.

Once I lowered into the Volvo, with the door closed behind me, my thoughts shifted to the other aspect I was both nervous and excited about simultaneously, in equal measure. After the party was over, Edward and I would be truly alone without my dad right down the hall, or the worry of nosey neighbors, and an entire family of vampires inadvertently listening in. I wanted that time with him more than anything, but at the same time, I was unexpectedly nervous.

The look in his eyes when he'd mentioned that time alone had not left my mind once, as if he was feeling everything I was. Sharing that intimacy between us was important to both of us, and there was no denying that we had a significant effect on one another as well. He was getting better with reining in his frustration with himself when he needed to pull back. I also was aware of his tells and often saved us from experiencing moments similar to the kiss after prom. I didn't always succeed, but we were getting better at it.

I knew we wouldn't get far, but that was all right. We had plenty of time to discover each other emotionally and physically.

I watched Edward's profile as he sang along to Elvis on the way to his house where his family awaited us. After I shared a memory of my mother and me dancing and singing to Elvis as a child, he insisted on listening to all his music in the car. There was something extraordinary about a man that loved music and used it to express himself. Edward did that with the pieces he composed and as he sang, knowing it would put a smile on my face. "Are you all right?" he asked, pulling me away from my thoughts. At least some of the anxiety had lessened, until I realized we were already sitting in front of his house.

"Yeah, I guess I was so lost in the song that I didn't notice."

His lips thinned slightly, almost unsure. "If you'd like for us to do something else…"

I shook my head and pressed my lips against his briefly. "I'm fine. You have a tendency to cause me to daydream."

He grinned and shrugged somewhat shyly. With an impish wink, he exited the car and sped around the car to open my door. "If only I could dream." His sigh was wistful as his fingers enclosed my hand in his. "I'd dream of you."

"Anyone ever tell you once you've got her, you don't have to woo her anymore!" Emmett's voice was obnoxious, coming from one of windows upstairs. "I'd dream of yooou...damn!" I winced when I heard what sounded like two rocks smashing together. "Sorry, Bella! Ouch! Fine! And Edward!"

"Does Rosalie have him in a headlock or something?"

"No, that would be Alice." Edward rolled his eyes and looked questionably at me. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, I am."

My stomach tightened once again when we stepped inside the house, and my hand stiffened in Edward's hold. The entire place was festively decorated with candles and balloons, the not-so-small, three-tiered cake was on a large buffet table along the front window, right beside the stack of ornately wrapped gifts.

Edward's arm slipped around my waist and his free hand turned my chin to look at him. Once our eyes met, I immediately felt myself beginning to relax, without him saying a word. What I was giving him might not be fancy or extravagant, but it was priceless and something he would keep with him forever. My features must have relaxed with my thoughts, because his lips began curving into a smile, and he leaned down to press them against mine.

I was startled by a flash going off and turned my head to find Alice standing there with a camera, and a wide grin. "You two are just so cute, I couldn't resist. And don't worry, you'll both get a copy."

"Alice, you promised," Edward said with a sigh, securing his hold around me more.

She simply smiled at him with a hand on her hip. "I know. I promised not to embarrass her, and I won't. A beautiful moment captured for posterity is nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Considering our greeting, I have some doubts about embarrassing moments," I teased, earning some booming laughter from the staircase. Right on cue, Emmett bounded down to slide to a stop a few feet in front of me in all his vampiric glory. I pointedly ignored him and looked to Alice. "Thanks for the pictures. I really do need to send my mother a few."

Alice's eyes closed for a moment, and when she opened them, she smiled at me. "I know what you're getting for an early birthday gift

"Alice!" Edward said from beside me, glaring at her. "I haven't decided yet."

"I didn't mean you!" she huffed and pushed Emmett aside. "I meant her moth…Emmett!" Before I knew it, Emmett lifted me into a bear hug and swung me around. Edward's protests seemed to come from every direction as we spun.

"I say we should play Monkey in the Middle with Edward, using you," he said as he set me on my feet. Dizzy, I listed to one side, but Edward immediately pulled me into his arms. "But he's no fun."

"Are you all right?" Edward's worried eyes roamed over every inch of me, settling on my face.

"I'm fine." Somehow, I had managed to hold on to Edward's gift, which I promptly handed to Alice, just in case. "There's no question he would've taken a few hits during Woodstock." I felt Edward and heard the two pats on his back from Emmett as he laughed.

"No doubt about it," Emmett said, shrugging. "Live life to the fullest and always be the life of the party."

"The life of the party would be me."

Alice snickered, as Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I love her already, welcome to the family, little sister." Emmett made to pat my back but this time Edward was quicker and whirled us away from his brother. "Hey!"

"Now I know what my doll felt like when I was a kid," I mumbled, blushing as Esme and Carlisle exited the kitchen with a small meal for me. "Thank you, you didn't have to go to so much trouble."

"I love to cook," Esme said, smiling at her husband. "Plus it's just another thing Carlisle and I enjoy doing together."

"I may not be able to taste anything, but I am curious as always," Carlisle admitted with a chuckle. Taking a seat in the chair Edward pulled out for me, I asked if Jasper and Rosalie were joining us.

"Yes, they're finishing with their gifts. Technically, this was sort of last minute," Alice stated as she placed Edward's gift bag beside the rest. "Edward hasn't celebrated a birthday since the transformation."

I looked at my boyfriend, hoping his mood wasn't ruined with Emmett's antics or Alice's words.

"I honestly never felt I had a reason to celebrate it, and a part of me still feels that way. Although, definitely not as much as before." Edward sat beside me, resting his arm along the back of my chair. "Regardless, between you and Alice, there was no way I could disappoint either of you."

"Do you remember any birthdays from before?" I asked, watching Edward carefully. For the last couple of nights we talked more about his human life. Carlisle's eyebrows shot up, and Esme even tensed. It wasn't a surprise that they reacted as such; I knew that before, he didn't like to talk about it.

"I vaguely remember a three-layer white cake mother made every year." He gently tugged on one of my curls, something he did whenever he spoke of his past; what he could remember of it anyway. "I think that is only because I believe I ate enough to make me sick every year."

"Chocolate," Emmett said, nodding. "That was my favorite, not that I remember what it tastes like."

"I'm sorry," I said and shook my head. "I wasn't thinking that you may not remember."

"It's all right, dear," Esme said, handing me a drink. "Talking about it only reminds us to cherish the new memories we make now."

I turned my gaze back to Edward to find him smiling down at me and I felt even better, finally taking a bite of the food in front of me. I tried to refrain from moaning out loud, but the stir-fry they'd made for me was like nothing I had ever tasted before. For a vampire who did not eat nor possess the ability to truly taste test anything, Esme was becoming an exceptional cook, and clearly, Carlisle was becoming just as good. The small moan escaped and I heard a soft crack of the back of the chair where Edward's hand was now resting. I gave him an apologetic look and he grazed my cheek lightly with the back of his index finger.

Once I had finished, Alice was bouncing with excitement and called up to Rosalie and Jasper. "You were right once again," Rosalie said as she settled beside Emmett in chair a few seconds later.

Alice winked and took the envelope her sibling handed her with Edward's name written in an elegant script on the front. "Of course I was right."

Edward listened to the byplay between his two sisters, looking rather confused. "Perhaps it would be best to get to the gifts."

Emmett leaned toward me. "That's Eddie's way of saying we need to get this show on the road so we can leave." He waggled his eyebrows, earning a pop on the back of his head from Rosalie and a vicious sounding snarl from Alice. "I'm just saying that he wants time with his girl, private time." Edward rolled his eyes, as Emmett avoided Rosalie's hand, but hadn't anticipated a well-placed kick to the shin from my boyfriend.

"I think it's best not to make me blush in a room full of vampires, don't you think?" I asked sweetly, making Emmett's mouth fall open only to snap shut.

"Aw, I wouldn't take a bite out of you," he said with a smile. "And if anyone tried, I'd send them out the window. Don't you worry, and keep on blushing." He looked over to Edward and gave okay symbol. "If she can joke about us, she's okay in my book."

I groaned and shook my head. "Maybe Edward is right, it's gift time."

"Carlisle's turn first!" Alice called out, jumping and grabbing an ornately wrapped box from the nearby table. Carlisle stood beside Esme, with her tucked against his side as Alice placed the gift on Edward's lap.

It was obvious that Edward was not comfortable with being the center of attention. He had a half-smile on his lips, but his gaze remained on the gift rather than meeting anyone's eyes. "Thank you."

Alice sighed dramatically. "Edward, you're supposed to open it first before you say thank you."

"I'm thanking him for the gift in general, not for what's inside yet," he said with a taunting eyebrow lift. "I have not completely forgotten my manners or etiquette, Alice."

I loved watching the dynamic this hodgepodge supernatural family. The sibling affection between them was always an incredible thing to observe, and that moment was a clear example of it. Though technically Esme and Carlisle were not much older in terms of when they were changed, they stood off to the side to watch, as parents often did when their children had the spotlight.

Turning my attention back to Edward, I found his brow lifted as he gazed at the contents of the box he held. My eyes fell to it as well, gasping at the gorgeous gold watch Carlisle had gifted him and the words written on the accompanying card.

Even when you have forever, every minute counts.

The two looked to each other and the hint of a smile graced Edward's lips with his nod. "Thank you."

Alice skipped across the room with a thick, flat gift, holding it out to Edward before he had even set the first one down. "Now Esme's."

I smiled and took the watch to hold for him, watching him carefully unwrap the present, ignoring his sister's assurance that it was all right to tear it open. What was inside caused my heart to still for an instant, spotting a thick, leather bound book, until he opened it to reveal pages of blank sheet music.

Esme had spoken more than once about her delight with Edward resuming his hobby of playing the piano and even composing again. At that moment, the joy was clearly displayed on her face as well, watching him leaf through the pages with her head leaning on her husband's shoulder.

Each gift had been so thoughtfully chosen for him, showcasing how much of a family they truly were. Edward was speechless, but the look in his eyes as he gazed at his adoptive mother spoke volumes of his gratitude and appreciation. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

Emmett's gift was next, but the shift in the atmosphere was unexpected, especially after the reveal of what was inside. Knowing of Edward's affinity for vinyl and the music from the fifties, a collection of records in pristine condition from such greats as Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, and Buddy Holly seemed perfect. "It was kind of a last minute idea since Alice put her foot down on my original gift."

I watched the tension increase in Edward, followed by one of those annoying and frustrating vampire conversations. The myriad of expressions that crossed each of their faces so rapidly that it was making me a little cross-eyed did nothing to clue me in as to what was going on. Just in Edward, I saw a mixture of anger, fear, despair, and even curiosity, which also seemed to be mirrored in Carlisle's as well. "What's going on?"

"Another time, Bella. Not tonight," Edward replied, giving me a meaningful look, which I knew with one glance knew that either it would upset me or embarrass me. And neither would be good in the current setting, especially with Jasper in the room, as sensitive as he was to both my blood and my emotions.

Alice linked her arm through Rosalie's, obviously attempting to diffuse the situation and move everything along. "You next, Rosalie."

She refused to make eye contact with either Edward or me—for what reason, I could not understand—and instead, held out the envelope with his name scrawled on the front. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," Edward answered with an obvious level of confusion in his voice when he pulled out a packet of folded paper.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and finally looked at him. "Just open it. It's a receipt, since I couldn't give you the actual object yet, since I only just won the auction. It was the best I could do."

Edward nodded in understanding and unfolded it, his eyes widening and returning to her a moment later. She appeared uneasy for a moment, moving closer to Emmett's side, her posture stiff. "Where did you find it?"

Rosalie shifted uncomfortably, pointing to Alice. "She told me where to look and how much to bid. It was just the first thing I could think of, it's no big deal. Besides, it's just as much of a gift for me as it is for you. I've been trying to get the parts together for years to restore one of these, and I know you would appreciate it."

From the intensity of Edward's stare, it seemed as if he was not at all in agreement with her. I looked down at the printout and saw the item listed as a chassis for a 1956 Aston Martin DBR1. Which honestly, to me, looked like a very expensive collection of metal in the shape of the undercarriage of a car, but it obviously held a lot of meaning to Edward. It was the first time I had ever seen him look at Rosalie that way, without the air of indifference or annoyance it usually held. If anything, I could only describe it as awe. His attention finally returned to me after Esme cleared her throat, and he noted my confusion. He flipped to the next page of the stack to where the listing was printed, showing me a picture of an old convertible. "This was the first car I ever seriously wanted, but not only was it a bit more ostentatious than I usually try to keep to, it's a convertible and a race car. So, it was a bit impractical in every manner of our lifestyle. So, this was very unexpected."

"Well, it wasn't just me. I just threw the idea out there," Rosalie said, her tone leveling again as if to downplay what was going on, but I swore I caught the hint of a smile trying to break through. She shook it off quickly and looked to Jasper. "It was a collaborative effort."

In a very similar action, Jasper handed Edward another envelope with a similar stack of paper inside. The header of the receipt indicated that it was from an identical auction, this time for the body. "Our excuse for being late. It was the last thing Rose needed."

"Wow, I don't know what to say. Except thank you." Edward sounded sincerely blown away by the gestures of his siblings, continuing to look back and forth between the two receipts.

"Hey, not so fast, still have one more in this little collaboration," Alice added with an impish smile, grabbing the last gift on the table.

It was a large, rectangular box, which she slid onto his lap, and when he finally lifted the top off, I was struck with the unique, easily identifiable scent of leather. I closed my eyes before I could look, mentally pleading in my head. Please, do not let Alice have bought my boyfriend leather pants. Anything but leather pants.

Thankfully, my hopes were granted when I reopened my eyes and saw Edward holding up a vintage looking leather jacket.

"Figured if you were going to be driving a car that makes one think of Elvis or James Dean, you should look the part," Alice said with a giggle, lightly bouncing in her spot.

"Alice, I have never worn anything like this, even when they were fashionable," Edward replied, though his tone was light and teasing and his lips curled up in a smirk.

Alice huffed and even stomped her foot. "Well, Bella seems to like it."

The sound of my name caused me to lift my gaze from the jacket to the other occupants of the room, whom each had their eyes lock on me. "Yeah, it's amazing. I think you'd look great in it."

Great is an understatement, I thought to myself as I glanced at the jacket again, conjuring the image in my mind of my boyfriend actually wearing it. I envisioned him standing beside that car, or better yet, sitting in the driver's seat. One hand gripped tightly as around the steering wheel as the other shifted, and he sang along to the music that played. Unconsciously, my fingers began trailing over the soft leather, until the sudden clearing of a throat caught my attention.

"Uh, Bella," Jasper said in a tight voice and I glanced over to him. His eyebrow was raised and I couldn't quite figure out what I had done. I hadn't been blushing, which I knew would have likely sent him out of the room, being in such close quarters with me. So…

"Oh my God, I'm sorry, Jasper," I said one I realized exactly what it was. Getting worked up over the vision in my head of Edward in that jacket, in that car—not good when you are in the presence of an empathic vampire.

Edward began shaking his head with a barely restrained smile, taking my hand in his and kissing the back of it. Oh no, I thought, he knows what I was thinking through Jasper's mind, or at the very least, what I was feeling. I'm not sure which is worse.

"Okay, now that we have the present time complete, it's not a party without the birthday boy cutting his cake," Alice announced, and by the overly exuberant tone of her voice, she made it clear that she was trying to redirect the focus of the room. "At least be a gentleman and serve your girlfriend a slice before we start packing everything up so we can head out." Since I didn't want to be rude just to have some time alone with Edward, I graciously accepted the plate he handed me a moment later. My eyes, however, followed every move I could catch as the entire family began cleaning up the area. Before I was even half done with my cake, the room was almost back to its original state, with the exception of a few candles on the long table where my lone gift bag still sat waiting.

Once Alice had discarded my plate, the last round of "Happy Birthdays" before saying goodbye for the evening was truly touching. Carlisle gave Edward's shoulder a gentle squeeze, while Esme lovingly stroked his face with a smile. Jasper shook his hand while Alice squeezed her arms tightly around his middle. Even Rosalie managed a halfway affectionate kiss to his cheek, before rolling her eyes as Emmett swept him in for a bearhug.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he joked.

Edward shook his head in response. "That really isn't leaving much out, so you need not worry."

"All right, let's go. We will see you both in the morning," Carlisle said, ushering everyone out of the room and giving Edward a meaningful look before disappearing from sight.

"Okay, what was that about?" I asked Edward once the front door closed.

He turned his gaze to me and I could actually see the set of his eyes shift. "I know you hate it when I do this, but I would really like to just spend tonight enjoying our time together without anything else weighing on our minds. I promise, I will tell you tomorrow."

I hated to admit that I agreed with him. That night was supposed to be special, about celebrating the most significant reason he was standing in front of me at that very minute. "Okay. I can definitely wait."

"Shall we?" Edward asked, holding out his hand for mine as we heard Carlisle's car departing.

I nodded nervously, grabbing his present from the table and made my way back to him. My fingers slid between his and we began heading up the stairs, and I felt my nerves start to creep up on me again. Considering the fact that we were about to be as alone as we had been in a long time, his smile wasn't forced and he still appeared almost completely at ease. He looked excited, actually, and that was not something I was used to, especially coming from Edward Cullen.

He was thoroughly happy.

We crossed the threshold of his room and I stood stock still just inside the doorway, fiddling with the handle of the bag. I closed my eyes, breathing in and out slowly through my nose until I felt his hands framing my face. I opened them again to gaze up into his ocher ones just as he was lowering his lips to brush a gentle kiss on mine.

"I love you, Isabella Swan," he whispered and I brought my arms around his waist, holding my body against his and returning the sentiment. "Now stop worrying so much. Your poor heart is deafening right now."

I rested my forehead on his chest and nodded. "I know. And I know I'm most likely worrying over nothing, but it's the first thing I've really been able to give you. It's a big deal to me, even though it's no expensive watch, or a car."

Edward tilted my face up to his and shook his head. "Bella, that doesn't matter to me, I told you that."

I took a deep breath of preparation and gestured with my hand across the room. "Okay, well then, go sit down."

Edward chuckled, pressing his lips to my temple before stepping away to walk over to the bed and sitting on the end.

Blowing out a huge breath, I attempted to keep my feet firmly planted in my spot, despite the strong urge to begin pacing. "So, you know that I wanted to get you something for your birthday that no one else could possibly give you. I wanted it to be special, and let me tell you, it was a difficult process. You never really give any hints or complain about things you don't have, because most of the time, if you don't have something you want, you'll buy it. And this was all I could think of."

I hurriedly thrust the gift bag toward him, silently pleading with him to take it before my nerves got the better of me again and I chickened out. He took the handle between his fingers and set the bag on his lap, popping the tape closures and pulling out the journal.

"Open it," I instructed when he looked at me in confusion, wrapping my arms around my middle as he did so. His amused expression vanished and I watched his eyes flicker over the page rapidly, swallowing hard as the words I'd written on the inside cover floated through my mind.

Edward,

The greatest gift you ever gave me was your heart, something no amount of money could ever buy. And here is the only gift I could think of that even comes close to that.

My thoughts, uncensored and unabridged.

I love you. Happy Birthday.

Love forever,

Bella

I pressed my lips firmly together when he didn't look up at me before he turned the first page, reading over the first entry I'd written. His features were undecipherable as he began flipping through rapidly—guess he really wasn't kidding when he said he could read fast—until he reached the last thing I'd written the previous night, right before I sealed the bag. It wasn't any specific thought or memory, but more of a simple message telling him once again that I loved him and hoped he liked the journal.

Edward's brow was creased when he finally lifted his eyes to mine again, another hard swallow bobbing his Adam's apple before he silently reached his hand out to me. I stepped toward him and rested mine within it, and he gave my fingers a gentle squeeze before tugging me closer and wrapping his arms around my waist. He seemed to be hiding his face in my stomach and I brought my hand up to gently smooth over his hair.

"Are you okay? I didn't think it would upset you."

Edward began shaking his head and looked up to me. "I am the very opposite of upset. That was, without a doubt, the most perfect gift anyone has ever given me, for any occasion. I honestly thought you had taken up journaling when I saw you writing in one. I never imagined something like this. Thank you. You have no idea what that meant to me."

Relief swelled within me and I took his face between my hands, slowly gave him a gentle kiss. "You're welcome. I also have another one at home that I plan to continue doing this in. I want to share all of these things with you, and I know this is one way to keep it sacred, between us. With no chance of being overheard or anyone else knowing, since I know you'd never allow that." I paused, and he began shaking his head in reply. My fingers trailed across his cheek to his lips, pressing against them to keep him from speaking. "But it's also something tangible that you can touch. I know everything you just read is permanently ingrained in your mind, but that journal will always be there, you know? Maybe even comfort you when a time comes that you may need it."

Edward's fingers rose to curl around mine, pulling them away from his mouth and gazing at me questioningly. I drew a slow breath in, and I could see when the realization hit for him. His eyes closed and his cool lips pressed against my knuckles. "Bella, we still have quite a while before we need to be thinking about that."

"I know that," I replied softly, lowering to kneel in front of him. "And everything you just read in that journal is just what I've been able to think of in the last few days. There's so much more I want to tell you and share with you. I want to have a stack of journals by that time, for you to know every moment I can possibly remember from the time I was a little kid until then. Even the humiliating stuff. That's what love is to me. It's not only about all the good, happy times or laughter, but the bad, angry and the tears as well, and everything in between. For you to know every part of me. And when the time comes, I'm positive I know you well enough to be sure that you will not leave my side for a moment. Even through what I am sure is the very edited, watered down version I've been given of what is going to happen to me."

Edward began to shake his head, pain marring his features. "You would be one hundred percent correct."

I lifted my hand to trace my fingertips over the crease in his forehead, smoothing it out. The last thing I wanted to bring to him on his birthday was pain, so I rose up to press my lips to his. My arms slid around his neck, parting our kiss but resting my forehead against his. "I will still have a way of telling you how much I love you. How much I want forever with you. You'll still have that part of me to hold in your hand, and remind you of what we're both fighting for and who's coming back to you."

With a soft grunt, Edward's lips met mine again as he set the journal on his bedside table, and then gliding his arms to encircle my waist. He lifted me up to sit across his lap, trailing his hand up my arm and ghosting his fingers along my collarbone until they cupped my face. For the first time in what seemed like forever, I could feel him trembling and that was usually one of his tells to slow down. I pulled my head back to look at him, taking inventory of his features until he opened his eyes to look at me. Surprisingly, they were lighter than I expected. "I'm fine, Bella. I will let you know long before I'm not okay. Just a little overwhelmed."

"Then maybe we should…"

Edward cut me off with his index finger pressed to my lips and a shake of his head, his other arm still wrapped securely around me and holding me in place. "By what you said, not anything you did, and not in a bad way. I love you and I need to start somewhere in trusting myself with you, even though it still terrifies me to a degree. It's not something that will happen overnight or easily, for that matter. I know that if I want to share this with you, and believe me, I do, I can't always play it completely safe. Or else we'll never get there. I also know how quickly I could lose sight of myself, but I needed this time alone with you. Just help keep me grounded, all right?"

"I will, I promise," I whispered against his fingertip, never breaking my gaze from his as it traced back across my cheek.

Edward gently cradled my face with his palm, his eyes lowering to my mouth as his face inched closer. After three soft, brief kisses, his lips pressed to mine more firmly, and with his other arm still around my back, he began lowering me to lie back on the bed. I whimpered softly at the feel of his body pressing against my side, and he pulled back to look at me. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I answered simply, touching my fingers to his cheek in the way I knew calmed him. "I'm more than okay, Edward."

His eyes closed for a moment in a clear effort to center himself before his lips returned to mine. I felt his hand settling on my waist and pulling me toward him, as mine drifted down to settle on his chest. The feel of his hard muscles flexing beneath my touch caused my fingers to grasp the fabric of his shirt, the need to be closer to him consuming me. He only tensed slightly at the movement, but it was enough for me to release my hold and move it to his bicep instead.

To my astonishment and without breaking our kiss, his fingers rose to wrap gently around my wrist, shifting my hand back to its previous position and held it there. Our lips parted from one another and I focused on regaining my breath when I heard him whisper. "I liked it, Bella. It just took me by surprise."

"And surprises are bad."

"Not all surprises are bad," Edward replied, and I opened my eyes to look at him. His irises were nearly a light mocha color, but his jaw wasn't locked, his brow still smooth. "I enjoy feeling the effect I have on you. I can hear it in your heartbeat, but feeling this is quite different. I want you to touch me, Bella."

I shivered at the sensation of his fingertips tracing feather light along the back of my hand and slowly tilted my head to brush my lips against his. "I want to try something."

Edward watched me carefully, but nodded nonetheless as my fingers moved up his chest, over his collarbone and threaded into his hair. A soft groan escaped him when our lips met again, as I was expecting since I knew he loved the feel of my fingers in his hair. Yet, when I began to massage his scalp lightly as we kissed, his lips halted for an instant, his palm flattening against my shoulder blade while the other returned to my waist.

I was about to stop when his kiss resumed, and I felt his hand begin its trek over my hip and along my thigh. He was actually pulling me closer, curling his fingers around the back of my leg.

With a gentle shift, he rolled us so that he was half on top of me, my knee gliding along the outside of his thigh and resting on his hip. It was the most direct intimate contact we had ever made—his leg between mine, his hand roaming back to my hip while still kissing me with his uniquely gentle passion. I swore I could even feel the vibration of my heart pounding through my chest and onto his. It was an incredible mixture of sensations, and it felt wonderful.

Yet, after a moment, his lips broke away from mine and he pulled back, minimizing our contact by slowly lifting his body from mine and lying beside me. "Sorry. That was … It was amazing, but …"

I slid my hand beneath his and gave it a gentle squeeze, turning my head to look at him. "I know. I felt it, too. It's okay."

"Someday, right?" he murmured softly, his eyes finally opening and gazing into mine. I nodded, brushing my lips against his and I felt his body shift again beside me.

"I'm going to give you a minute while I go change for bed."

Edward sighed in what sounded like gratitude and I rose to grab my bag from the corner of his room to head for the bathroom.

With the door closed behind me, my palm rose to my chest, covering my rapidly beating heart, while my stomach fluttered as if it had swarm of butterflies swirling around within it. When Edward had originally mentioned the idea of "practicing", I knew before he said anything that it would be very slow progression. Gradually working up from the tender chaste kisses we'd shared and innocent touches, but never had I envisioned something so intense so soon. But obviously, on the flipside, my entire body was thrumming with the excitement he stirred in me, more that night than ever before. So, I also needed a moment to take a breath.

I changed and got ready for bed, finally making it back into Edward's room several minutes later to find him partially sitting up with his back against the headboard. His arms were folded across his chest and he was staring down at his legs, until he finally glanced over to me and obviously caught my worried expression. "I don't regret it, Bella. I just wish…"

"We didn't have to stop," I finished for him and he nodded, his eyes lowering again. I made my way over to the bed, climbing in close to his side and relaxed when I felt his arm come around me. "Edward, we have time, and if all we do is kiss and touch for now, I'm more than okay with that. I love you and I want to feel close to you, not just be there in a physical sense. No matter how far we get, it's something we're sharing together, and that's all that really matters to me."

Edward tilted his head to rest his temple against the top of my head, hugging his arms around me. "I love you, too, Bella."

While lying in the comfort of his hold, my eyelids began to slip closed as the anxiety and anticipation of the day began catching up with me. I draped my arm over his stomach and tilted my head up to look at him before sleep could claim me. "Since I know I will never make it to just before midnight, Happy Birthday one more time."

His eyes closed when I pressed my lips to his jaw, turning his head to press a soft kiss to my mouth. "Thank you for playing a very large part in making it one."