The New Girl Chapter 37, a glee fanfic

Chapter 37

Adriana watched as her friends got drunk and danced around the backyard. Conner had taken Reed for the night to bond more with his grandson. She was starting to think a party was a bad idea. Being around all the alcohol was becoming difficult. She knew that if she drank she would regret it. At least Rachel seemed to understand that and decided to stay sober too. "You can drink if you want Rach." Adriana said as she watched her wife dancing with Quinn and Brittany.

"I don't really like drinking." Rachel admitted with a blush. "I don't like feeling out of control and hangovers so aren't worth it." Adriana chuckled and nodded.

"I definitely don't miss that part." She sighed and looked down at her bottle of water. "I do miss the out of control feeling though. I liked having times when I didn't have to deal and could just…" she trailed off; looking for the right words. "Be free." She said with a grimace. Rachel looked over at her curiously.

"I feel free when I'm singing. Don't you get that feeling with dancing?"

"Sort of." She replied with a shrug.

"When I'm feeling bad I sing about it; maybe that will help. I can help you select a song and listen if you want. I know you have a piano in the house. Come on." Rachel pulled the taller girl up and led her inside. Santana watched them go with furrowed eyebrows and decided to follow quietly. "So what kind of song do you think will fit how you're feeling?" Adriana looked down at the piano keys in front of her and started playing. Rachel sat down next to her and Santana hid in the hallway to listen.

I take these pills to make me thin
I dye my hair, and cut my skin
I try everything, to make them see me
But all they see, is someone that's not me

Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

Here inside, my quiet hell
You cannot hear, my cries for help
I try everything, to make them see me
But every one, sees what I can't be

Rachel and Santana both had tears in their eyes as they listened to her sing. Santana knew something was going on with her wife, but didn't know what exactly was wrong or how to fix it.

Sometimes when I'm alone
I pretend that I'm a queen
It's almost believable

Once she played the last notes on the piano, Rachel hugged her tightly. Santana walked back into the back yard. "Santana? What's wrong?" Quinn and Brittany rushed up to her.

"Adriana… Rachel had her sing what she was feeling and she sang Invisible by Skylar Grey. She's really hurting guys, we need to do something… I need to do something." Quinn hugged her friend and felt her own tears start to fall. Adriana was her best friend and she knew she was having body issues.

"We can get the whole Glee club together and talk to Mr. Schue." Brittany said quietly. "We can use the next week to sing to Adriana." Santana smiled and nodded.

"That's a great idea Britt."

"Really?" The blonde dancer asked with a bright smile. They looked to the door as Rachel came back outside without Adriana. "Where's Adriana?"

"She said she would be back out in a minute." Quinn walked over and pulled her girlfriend into her arms.

"Santana saw what happened and we have an idea to help Adriana." She whispered into Rachel's ear. The tiny diva breathed a sigh of relief and wiped away her tears. It was twenty minutes later when Adriana finally rejoined them. Santana clung to her as soon as she came outside and held her tightly.

The glee club talked before school with Mr. Schuester about their plan to sing to Adriana all week and he decided it was a great idea. He also decided he would talk to Emma and Sue so they could all keep a closer eye on the girl. Morning Cheerios practice went like every other one lately. Adriana stayed after and ran extra laps without even being asked to as her wife and best friends watched sadly. It was bad enough she had extra practices, but she was doing more than the coach even asked her too.

"S, Q, Britt…" Sue greeted her co-captains. "Did you make her run those suicides she's doing now?" They shook their heads simultaneously and Santana was trying to keep from crying. "Lopez." Santana looked up at the coach with a tired expression. "What's going on?"

"I don't think she slept at all last night. She didn't even come to bed." She looked down miserably. "She didn't eat breakfast again this morning; even though we all tried to get her to eat."

"I'm canceling all her extra practices; she's already doing enough to be considered an extra practice anyway."

"Britt," Quinn turned to her ex. "You're the only one that can catch up to her usually; will you go tell her it's almost time for class?" Brittany nodded and ran full speed into the field to stop her friend. The others watched the blonde chase her fellow dancer for a couple minutes before tackling her to the ground.

"It's almost time for class." Brittany breathed out. "Sorry I tackled you again but it's the only way I can catch you."

"That's alright Britt; thanks for letting me know." The blonde smiled brightly as she helped Adriana up.

"I'll see you in class!" She said as she skipped away letting Adriana jog toward the school. Quinn and Santana were waiting in the locker room when she arrived. Santana stepped forward and pulled her wife close; she felt the taller girl melt into the embrace and sigh contentedly.

"Let's get ready for class." The Latina whispered as she pulled away to get dressed into her clean Cheerio uniform. Adriana showered and got dressed quickly to follow the other three Cheerios into the hallway. Quinn split off to go to her class while the other three shared their class.

"Adriana." The teacher called again and Santana nudged her gently to get her attention.

"What?" She asked as she looked up from her notebook. The teacher sighed and repeated the question but Adriana just shrugged and looked back down at her blank page. Even the teacher was starting to get nervous about her behavior; she was one of her top students and always took meticulous notes. Rachel turned around and saw that Adriana wasn't taking any notes.

"Are you feeling alright Adriana?" The teacher took in her pale appearance and dark circles under her eyes. "Maybe you should go to the nurse." Adriana nodded and stood up to accept the hall pass. Santana watched her go worriedly but didn't get to follow her. Adriana sighed as she made it into the hallway. She stopped by her locker to get rid of her books and grabbed her keys, cigarettes and her letterman. She skipped going to the nurse and decided to leave school all together. The brunette dancer drove around for twenty minutes before she heard her phone buzz with a text message. She pulled over and pulled it out to read a message from Santana.

Where are you? Class is over and I went to the nurse looking for you. She said you never showed.-S. Adriana sighed and tossed the phone onto the seat next to her. She didn't want to go back to school or deal with anything at the moment. Deciding to find a place to relax, she pulled the car back onto the road. She was soon pulled over at a rest stop just outside of Fort Wayne. Her phone continued to buzz with missed calls and texts. She got out of the car and lit a cigarette before looking through the texts from Santana first. Please amor, tell me where you are. I see your car is gone. Did you go home?-S. She scrolled through the twenty messages she got from her wife in the past hour.

Please baby, I'm getting worried. I hope you turn up to our next class -S

Come on babe, where are you?-S

You didn't show up for class, it's been a half hour… where are you?-S

I'm coming home with Quinn and Brittany. -S

I called Carole and she said she hasn't heard from you, come on where are you? Please at least let me know you are okay. -S She noticed more of the same messages from Quinn and some from Brittany. There were missed calls from the three of them too. Rachel and Puck also tried to call a few times. She typed out a quick text to Santana and placed her phone on the hood of her car next to her as she lit another cigarette.

I'm okay –Adriana

OMG baby! Where are you? I've been so worried! What happened? –S

I'll be home later. I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm fine and will see you later. –Adriana

But where are you? –S. Another text came in a few minutes later.

Adriana, where are you? –Q

I just need some time alone… I went for a drive and I'll be back later. –Adriana

Please be careful Adriana. No drugs and be careful driving. We all love you and we need you home in one piece. –Q

Since I know Santana is most likely reading this over your shoulder, will one of you pick up Reed? –Adriana. She sighed as her phone rang once more. She finally accepted the call when she saw Quinn's name flash on the screen.

"Where are you?" Quinn asked immediately. Adriana heard a car running in the background.

"No cell phone while you're driving Quinn."

"I'm on my hands free set and I am alone. Santana is going with Rachel to pick up Reed and I want to know where you are."

"I'm at some rest stop."

"Where Adriana?"

"Fort Wayne."

"Why the hell are you in Fort Wayne? That's like an hour away."

"Actually it only took me about 45 minutes to get here."

"Hey now, no speeding! I'm coming to find you."

"You really don't have to do that."

"I really do. I want you to stay on the phone with me. Why'd you drive so far away?"

"I didn't really plan on going anywhere in particular. I just started driving and this is where I ended up. Why are you coming to find me? I said I wanted some time alone."

"No." Quinn answered simply and Adriana furrowed her eyebrows.

"What do you mean no?"

"No you don't get to be alone; not after everything that's been going on; after what you sang the other day to Rachel."

"I should have known she would tell you about it."

"Actually she didn't; Santana did. She was standing in the hallway while you sang."

"Wonderful." Adriana muttered to herself and looked at her watch. It had already been 45 minutes since Quinn called and she knew she didn't have much time before the blonde showed up.

"Adriana, don't even think about it."

"Think about what?"

"Leaving where you are right now. You forget how well I know you and you have been quiet for way too long. I'm almost there and I want to talk to you."

"What if I don't want to talk to you?" Quinn sighed at her best friend's words.

"Are you saying you don't love me anymore?"

"I didn't say that." Adriana said; feeling guilty for snapping at her friend. She wasn't paying attention to her surroundings until she heard someone clear their throat. The brunette hung up her phone and turned to look at Quinn whose eyes were slightly red and puffy. "Have you been crying?" Adriana's eyebrows slammed together.

"I've been worried sick about you; everyone has. I've also been trying to comfort Santana who thinks it's her fault you left. She still thinks you haven't fully forgiven her for the whole Brittany thing because she slept with her and all. You haven't been sleeping in your bedroom with her and you are closing yourself off to her. You don't have to talk to everyone Adriana, but she's your wife. She loves you more than anything on this earth and she needs you; Reed needs you. You're scaring everyone and we all want to make sure you are okay." Adriana tried to hold in her tears, but when Quinn placed a hand on her shoulder, she lost it. Heavy sobs wracked her body and she collapsed back onto the hood of her car. Quinn pulled her close and held her as she cried. "Shh, it's going to be okay Adriana. I'm here for you and so is Santana. You just have to let me in; tell me what's going on." Adriana shook her head and took a deep, shuddering breath. She got up and wiped her tears away before picking up her now empty pack of cigarettes. Quinn followed her to a garbage can so she could throw it away before getting back into her car. "Are you ready to go home?" Adriana locked the doors and rolled her windows up until there was only a crack to talk through.

"I can't Quinn." The blonde felt her heart speed up at the look of pure anguish on her best friend's face. "Everyone would be better off without me anyway. Don't you see? I'm nothing; I'm useless and ugly. My son would be better with someone who isn't an abomination on so many levels. I'm sick of being told I'm wrong for what I am."

"Holly said you had a tough time at that seminar. Is that where this is coming from?"

"Partially… It's more than that though. It's my dance team in New York; my father and his filthy friends; Karofsky…" she flinched at the name and the memories that bombarded her head. "I can't take pride in anything I do. I'm no dancer; I'm no Cheerio; I'm no singer and I'm not good enough to be Reed's mother. He deserves so much more than me and he should have it." Quinn was now crying freely and tried to open the door to pull Adriana out of the car.

"Unlock the door Adriana." She said nervously and Adriana just shook her head before starting the car. "Don't you dare leave!" Quinn yelled. "I love you! You're my best friend and I need you to stay with me. There is so much going on in my life and I need you here with me! Santana needs you to come home!"

"Santana won't have any trouble finding someone else." Quinn pulled the door harder but it was no use. Adriana put the car in drive and drove away slowly at first. Before Quinn could even get to her car, the brunette sped off. Quinn dialed Santana and told her everything as she drove off in search of the brunette dancer.