Chapter Thirty-Six

The Letter

Pony sat with Two-Bit out on the front porch, both smoking cigarettes quietly. Two-Bit was sitting back against the house with his legs crossed while Pony sat sideways on the top step leaning up against the newly enforced porch railing as the sun sank below the horizon. They had already eaten dinner and Darry was taking a plate in to Soda, since he hadn't moved since coming home that night. A minute later the door opened behind them and they both turned to see Darry walking out onto the porch, looking worn.

"How is he?" Pony asked.

Darry sighed as he moved forward and sat down on the porch step by Pony's feet. "He's still in a lot of pain," he said. "I offered to take him to the hospital but he didn't want to do that. Can't say I really blame him after what happened last time. He said he wasn't hungry but I left the plate for him anyway." He ran a hand over his face tiredly. "I'll run to the hospital in a few minutes to get him another cane. There's no way he can get around at all without it right now."

Pony nodded, feeling bad for Darry. He had worked all day long and now had to run another errand tonight. He decided that he would have to get his license soon so that he could help out. It was something that kind of fell to the wayside when he turned sixteen because there wasn't really a need for it since he walked to school just fine and he wouldn't have a car to drive anyway. At that moment though he felt like it would be useful.

"I'm real sorry, Darry," Two-Bit said quietly. "He was the one who wanted to walk. I didn't know how else to get him home since he didn't want to wait to call you for a ride."

Darry turned to look at him. "It's not your fault, Two-Bit," he said.

Two-Bit took a drag off his cigarette, looking thoughtful. "I will say this though," he said. "He ain't helpless."

"What do you mean?" Pony asked.

"He held his own in that fight, even after they broke his cane," he said. "Even managed to knock one of the Socs out. I actually had to pull him away from the fight when the Socs were starting to run."

"Well, hopefully it at least helped him get out some pent up energy," Darry said. "Hopefully his leg will start feelin' better by morning." He took a deep breath and then slowly pulled himself to his feet. "I'm gonna run out before I get too tired. I'll be back soon."

"You mind droppin' me off at my house on the way?" Two-Bit asked, stamping out his cigarette. "It's been a long night."

"Yeah sure," Darry agreed. He glanced over at Pony. "Can you hold down the fort for a bit?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Pony said. He had considered offering to go with Darry so that he could run into the hospital while Darry waited in the car but since Two-Bit was leaving too he figured it would be better for him to stay here. They probably shouldn't be leaving Soda home alone right now.

Pony remained where he was, finishing up the last on his cigarette as he watched Darry's truck pull out of the driveway. It was now completely dark out, the only light coming from the windows of the living room. After a minute Pony put out his cigarette on the stair and flicked the butt away as he stood up and headed back into the house. The entire house was eerily quiet. They hadn't had the TV or stereo on nearly as much as they used to since Soda returned home since he was too jumpy for loud noises like that, but tonight it just seemed especially quiet.

After just standing in the living room for a minute he decided to go check on Soda. He made his way down the hallway and quietly knocked on his own bedroom door, not wanting to startle him. As he listened he heard a light grunt of acknowledgement, so he carefully opened the door and peered in. The light in the room was still on. Soda lay flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his hands on top of his head, gripping his hair. Clearly he was still in pain.

"Hey Soda," Pony said carefully from the doorway.

Soda lifted his head slightly and looked over at him. "Hey," he said, his voice sounding strained.

"Are you feelin' any better?" he asked hesitatingly.

Soda sighed. "Not really," he said. He paused. "Where'd Darry go? I heard his truck pullin' out."

"He went to the hospital to get you a new cane," Pony said. Soda nodded, but something flashed in his eyes that Pony couldn't quite place. "Do you need anything?"

Soda paused obviously thinking something over. "I need to pee," he finally admitted a bit reluctantly.

"Okay," Pony said, moving into the room, trying to make it seem like no big deal.

Grimacing, Soda slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position and swinging his legs around to hang off the edge of the bed. As Pony slowly helped him to his feet he groaned as his face screwed up in pain. Pony ducked under his arm in order to support him, realizing for the first time that they were now almost the same height, though it still helped that Soda was slumped over a bit. They stumbled out into the hallway and thankfully the bathroom was only a few steps away. Pony helped Soda over to the toilet where he could grab hold of the shower rod and then left to give him some privacy, trying to preserve some at least some of his dignity. When Soda called him back in after he was finished Pony supported him once again as he helped him back to bed, noting how he winced the whole way. Pony was really worried. He had finally been beginning to improve. Had the fight made his injury worse?

"Thanks, Pony," Soda mumbled once he was back in bed.

Pony nodded. "Darry should be back soon with a cane," he said. Soda nodded as he stared back up at the ceiling. "Soda… you okay?" he asked slowly. He knew that Soda would understand that he wasn't talking about physically. There was anguish in his eyes that had nothing to do with the physical pain that he was in.

Soda was silent and for a minute Pony thought that he wasn't going to answer. He was about to turn and leave the room when Soda spoke.

"I'm just so tired of being in pain," he said quietly. He paused and then looked over at Pony. "For just a minute today I felt… normal. Beating up on the Socs was so normal. I forgot all about being… being hurt. I held my own and I won. Then the adrenalin wore off… and it just hurt so much."

Pony frowned, unsure what to say to that. His older brother's eyes were practically begging him for some sort of answer or solution and he had no idea how to make this better. Carefully he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You were getting better," he said slowly. "I think this is probably just a setback. After you rest up hopefully you'll be feelin' better again." He felt like it was a very lame response but it was all he could think of.

Soda shifted his gaze back to the ceiling. "Yeah… hopefully…" he said vaguely.

XxXxX

The next week passed painfully slowly. Darry returned that night with a new cane for Soda but Soda wouldn't get out of bed until the next day when he had to go to work. After he opened up briefly to Pony that night he seemed to retreat further into himself. He became exceptionally quiet, which was completely out of character for Soda, even since he returned from Vietnam. His eyes tended to hold a vacant quality to them and often he could be seen staring blankly into empty space. He was still having nightmares most nights and early each morning he could be found at his punching bag despite the fact that it was obvious his leg was still hurting him. It was only at his punching bag that you could catch a spark of life in his eyes though, a fire burning just below the surface.

No one really knew how to cope with Soda's new mood swing so it seemed that there was the unspoken agreement to just try and get through in one piece. Soda managed to fix Two-Bit's car and his job was to chauffer Soda back and forth to work after talking with their boss and telling him to keep him and Soda on the same schedule. Darry's job was to make sure Soda ate well, his appetite seeming off since his mood had shifted to lethargic. Pony's job was to wake Soda up before his nightmares got too bad.

It was odd. Even though Soda was quiet it wasn't like he had sunk into a depression. There was a tension to him like there was anger boiling just below the surface. It was clear that Darry especially was watching him closely, waiting for a moment when the anger would break the surface.

That week passed by. And then other week passed by. By the third week after Steve left the most troubling thing on everyone's mind was that they had not heard from him yet. Soda had written them immediately from basic training to let them know that he was okay. It seemed natural that Steve would have done the same thing. So why hadn't they heard anything yet?

Pony was thinking about that very thing as he ascended the porch stairs after school. He opened the mailbox without much expectation, carrying the mail inside with him. He flipped through a few bills and some junk mail as he moved toward the kitchen, intending to leave the pile on the counter for Darry as usual. Then he stopped mid-step as he stared at one particular letter. The address with handwritten, with Sodapop Curtis spelled out at the top. Pony wasn't particularly familiar with Steve's handwriting since he hardly ever wrote, but the messy scribble to the penmanship seemed to fit. This had to finally be the letter from Steve.

Soda wouldn't be home for a while since he was working the late shift tonight, so Pony carefully placed the letter back in the stack and left it with the rest of the mail while he went to work on his homework. He found he had a hard time concentrating on it though as his thoughts kept wandering back to the letter. Would this be a good thing for Soda or would it finally be the thing to make him crack? It was hard to tell these days. The letter couldn't be too bad though since Steve wasn't even in Vietnam yet, he had to have a few more weeks of basic training left.

As Pony heard Darry come home an hour later he pushed himself away from his desk and wandered down the hallway toward the kitchen. He found Darry standing at the counter, obviously having gone through the mail immediately like he usually did. He was holding the stack of bills and junk mail in one hand and the handwritten letter addressed to Soda in the other, simply staring at it.

"Think it's from Steve?" Pony asked.

Darry jumped slightly, obviously having been lost in his own thoughts for a minute. He looked over at Pony. "Yeah, I bet it is," he said.

Pony nodded, it was the answer he had expected. He looked at Darry carefully. "How do you think Soda's gonna take it?" he asked slowly.

Darry looked back down at the letter. "Well, it can't be too bad yet," he said, echoing Pony's earlier thoughts. "He's only at basic. Hopefully Soda will take it as a comfort like we did when Soda wrote to us."

Pony hesitated for a moment. "Do you think… we should open it?" he asked slowly, a bit unsurely. "See what it says before he does?"

Darry thought that over for just a moment before shaking his head and placing the letter back down on the counter. "No," he said. "That'll just upset him. It's addressed just to him."

Pony nodded. He knew that Darry was right. He just wanted to protect Soda somehow. He had been through so much already.

Pony returned to his homework as Darry made dinner. When dinner was ready the two of them ate together since Two-Bit and Soda were both working, setting two plates aside for them when they got home. After dinner Pony did the dishes before going and getting his homework and setting up at the kitchen table so that Darry could help him while he went through the bills. His math assignment was particularly difficult tonight and it certainly didn't help that he was very distracted. Thankfully Darry wasn't too cross with him when he caught his mistakes.

It was after nine when they finally heard Two-Bit's old car groaning up the street. Both Darry and Pony paused with what they were doing and just listened to the car doors close and the footsteps coming up the walkway. There was a pause as they got to the steps – Soda was still having a harder time with the stairs since the fight with the Socs a few weeks ago – and Two-Bit was probably helping him up onto the porch. All this was routine by now. A minute later both Soda and Two-Bit were walking into the kitchen, Soda looking more worn than usual. He didn't get many late shifts anymore, but when he did he was always exhausted by the time he got home at night since he was always up so early in the morning. Not to mention he didn't get a whole lot of sleep most night anyway. Usually he would sit at the kitchen table for a few minutes and pick at his dinner that Darry would save for him before heading right to bed.

"Hey Soda," Darry said as Soda automatically headed to the stove where his dinner always sat. Soda simply looked over at him tiredly. "You got a letter."

There was a moment where everything was absolutely still as Soda seemed to process this. He glanced around and spotted the lone letter sitting on the counter a few feet away. He limped over to it and picked it up, studying it carefully. Everyone was watching him, Pony and Darry still sitting at the table and Two-Bit hanging back in the doorway. Finally Soda turned and made his way over to the kitchen table, carefully maneuvering himself into an empty chair. He held the letter out in front of him, just looking at it.

"We think it's probably from Steve," Pony spoke up, feeling uncomfortable by all the silence. "He probably sent it from basic training."

Soda looked at him, though his eyes looked half dazed like he wasn't really seeing him. "Yeah, probably," he said flatly.

He turned and focused his gaze back on the letter. Finally he flipped it over and tore it open. He carefully unfolded the letter and began to read. Pony felt awkward just watching him, so he tried to go back to his homework, but he wasn't focusing on it anymore. He was dying to know what was in that letter, even though in reality he knew it probably wasn't anything exciting.

Pony knew that Soda was a slow reader, but it seemed to take him an awfully long time to read the one paged letter in front of him. As Pony looked at him he thought that it looked like he was looking back at the top of the letter as if he were rereading something. Then he made a strange noise in the back of his throat. Pony glanced unsurely at Darry who shrugged at him.

"How's he doin'?" Darry finally asked.

Soda looked up at him and Pony was surprised to see a bit of life behind his eyes. And more than that, for once the spark in his eyes did not appear to be hints anger and frustration, the only real emotions they had seen from him over the past few weeks. It looked more like relief. Then he did something even more surprising. He smiled. It wasn't a big grin, but it was a contented smile that they hadn't seen in a long time.

"He's good," he said, passing the letter over to Darry so that he could read it for himself.

Darry took the letter and quickly began reading. Pony watched him. About halfway down suddenly Darry laughed, relief flooding his own features as well.

"What's it say?" Pony asked impatiently.

Darry was smiling as he handed the letter over to Pony. As he began reading Two-Bit came over to read over his shoulder, clearly curious as well. Steve's handwriting was messy and his spelling wasn't much better than Soda's even though he did somehow manage to graduate high school, even if only by the skin of his teeth. It took Pony a moment to decipher the message. He talked about arriving at basic training and going through all kinds of medical and mental tests. He could remember Soda writing about something similar when he had been there. Suddenly something jumped out at Pony as he read. He looked up at Darry and then Soda, shock in his eyes.

"He's gonna be a mechanic in Vietnam?" he said in disbelief.

"What?" Two-Bit said, obviously having not made it to that part yet. He grabbed the letter from Pony's loose grip in order to see it better.

"That's what he said," Darry confirmed. "I guess the military was impressed with his ability to fix things."

"The mechanics work on the helicopters and trucks at base," Soda spoke up, his voice lighter than it had been in weeks. "He'll probably never even leave the base once he gets over there."

Pony suddenly grinned. It had never crossed his mind that Steve would get a job other than being out on the front lines. It just seemed like a given that he would be out there fighting like Soda had. But it made sense that there had to be other jobs other than being on the front lines. It looked like Steve wasn't even going to see any battle. He would be doing basically the same thing he would be doing here at the DX.

"That son of a bitch," Two-Bit said as he grinned. "He's gonna travel halfway around the world just to work on more cars!"

Pony looked over at Soda and could plainly see the relief in his eyes growing as reality was sinking in. Steve wasn't going to be in nearly as much danger as he had been when he was over there. That was a huge relief to them all. All they had hoped for with this whole thing was the safe return of first Soda and now Steve. Soda had come back to them and now it looked very likely that Steve would too. Darry reached over and put a hand on Soda's shoulder, smiling at him and Soda sincerely smiled back. Finally it seemed something had worked in their favor.