Chapter 35: The Funeral
"Lily, are you ready to go?" James asked, stepping into my room. I turned around and took in his appearance. He was wearing the same suit he wore to Alice's wedding. Other than that, he was simply James. His messy black hair fell over his wire-rimmed glasses. There was only one other change in him: His eyes. They were dull. It seemed so long ago that I saw the carefree light in them. They seemed too guarded now. His eyes were the biggest indication I had to how he was feeling. He ran a hand through his hair. Well, that too. "Lily, you look amazing." He said, coming closer to me. I inhaled.
"Funny, I don't feel amazing." I muttered accidentally. I didn't mean to say that out loud. He took me into his arms and rested his chin on my head. He didn't say anything; simply rubbed my back. He'd been doing that a lot lately, especially since the first night, when I kind of exploded on him. I profusely apologized and he did forgive me, but he was always being more hesitant these days. It was starting to get on my nerves. I pulled away from him. "Come on." I said, leading him to the door. On the way, I glanced at myself in the full-length mirror. My hair was falling messily over my shoulders, my eyes were swollen and had dark circles around them, and the white dress was kind of loose around my body.
"Lily, when was the last time you ate?" James asked slowly, looking down my body, as though it was only dawning on him. I kept my head down and kept walking down my stairs. "Lily." James said, stopping in the middle of our common room. He spun me around to face him. He put a finger under my chin and lifted my head up to meet his eyes. I wanted to close my eyes immediately. His eyes looked too hurt for me to look at. I quickly looked away, trying to get that image out of my head. "Lily, look at me." He pleaded. He sounded so hurt. My heart was beating quickly now, but I forced myself to look at him. His eyes were confused, more than hurt. "When was the last time you ate?" He asked again, this time softer and more cautiously.
"I don't remember." I told him honestly. He took a breath.
"Lily, why?" He asked, pain cutting into his voice. I bit my lip.
"I'm never hungry." I told him truthfully, shrugging my shoulders.
"Lily, we're going to talk about this later, alright?" James asked fiercely. I flinched.
"We should get going." I mumbled, dropping my eyes from his.
"Yeah." He agreed. But, the way he was saying it, I could tell he felt bad about his tone from before. I decided not to acknowledge it, and simply led him to the portrait hole. We stepped through and found Sirius, Remus, and Peter walking up our stairs.
"Well, we should go!" Sirius said. Remus and Peter sent him warning looks. They were all trying to be so guarded around me, and only Sirius wasn't holding back that much. "Alex and Marlene said they'd meet us in Dumbledore's office." He continued, as though Remus and Peter hadn't quietly reprimanded him. "Come, come!" He said, taking my free hand, and leading me down the stairs. I looked back in time to see Remus, James and Peter exchange worried glances. We all walked down the stairs and started walking in the direction of Dumbledore's office. Suddenly, Sirius seemed to get tired of the silence, so he began singing. "Oh, we're off to see the wizard! The Wonderful Wizard of Oz! You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz! There was. If ever, oh, ever a Wiz! There was The Wizard of Oz is one-"
"PADFOOT!" Remus barked, interrupting Sirius. This effectively silenced him. We reached the gargoyle and it opened for us without us having to say anything. I guess Dumbledore told it we were coming. We stepped on the bottom stair and it took us up to his door. Before we could knock, Dumbledore's voice came through the door.
"Come in!" He said. I'd become much too familiar with this place. I'd been here three times in the last week. The first was exactly a week ago, when he first delivered the shocking news to me. The second was a few days after that, when he told me when the funeral was. And the last time was the day after that, when he said we needed to discuss legal matters.
He told me that since I was not yet 18, by muggle law, I was technically not allowed to inherit anything that my parents left me, and it was under Petunia's control until I did turn 18. I did allow it, hoping that maybe she wasn't so evil that she'd try to take the money and belongings that were mine. The house went to the government and whatever money they got off of it, would be split between me and Petunia. I refused to go back to the house, so they just had everything that was mine transferred to my parents' bank account. Dumbledore told me that once I turned 18, everything that was mine would be transferred to a bank account in Gringotts, if I wished. I told him that it would be fine, and so he arranged that a bank account would be opened for me there. I was thankful that I had Dumbledore, who was so willing to sort all of this out for me.
Marlene and Alex were already inside, and they were just as somber as when I last saw them a few days ago.
"Now that we're all here you can-" Dumbledore started.
"Professor," I started, unable to stop myself. All eyes turned to me. "I was wondering…if you'd come with us?" I finished quietly. Everyone besides Dumbledore looked really confused. I could feel my face grow hot. Dumbledore studied me for a few moments.
"Of course Lily, I'd be honored." Dumbledore said politely. What possessed me to ask that question? I barely registered as Dumbledore put down the apparition wards around his office and we all apparated to the church the funeral was being held at. We all appeared near the back of a church. People in white and black seemed to be just leaving. I guess we arrived on time: At the end. That was good. No one would notice Dumbledore's peculiar clothing.
James slipped his hand into mine. I took a huge breath. It'll be okay. I looked to Marlene, and she gave me a weak, but encouraging smile. The eight of us walked across the lawn to the front of the church. Petunia was sobbing quietly with Vernon at her side, rubbing her back comfortingly. I was glad at least someone was there for her. I walked up to Petunia, leaving everyone else behind.
"Petunia?" I said quietly. She looked up at me and her eyes widened.
"Lily." She breathed, and hugged me before I could say anything. I held in a sob, and tried to forget the fact that she never hugged me like this. I tried to forget that she probably wouldn't after this day. I put my arms around her, and as she cried, I tried to hold in my tears. She pulled back after a really long time. "Over here, come." She whispered, tugging on my hand. I looked back quickly to the seven behind me, watching the scene. "They can come too." She told me hoarsely, and led me towards the grassy cemetery. I turned back around as we walked, and motioned for them to come. At first, they hesitantly looked at each other, but with another wave of my hand, they started walking forward. I turned back around to Petunia.
"Thanks for trying to reach me." I told her quietly. She gave me a startled look. "I know it was hard for you, trying to contact Professor Dumbledore, especially after the last time. So, thanks." I said again, looking down. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that she bit her lip, and was clearly trying not to say something. We zigzagged through the graves and finally arrived at two of them. They were identical and new. There were flowers all around it, and the graves were definitely the liveliest there. Petunia quickly elapsed into loud sobs again as she held on to me tightly. I felt James' hand touch my shoulder lightly. I looked up at him, and he was looking down at me, with apologetic eyes that made me shift uncomfortably. Petunia moved back into Vernon's arms, so James wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him.
"Lily, if I may." Dumbledore said, pulling out his wand. Vernon looked on with disgust, and Petunia chose to bury her head in his chest, not wanting to watch. I nodded numbly. With a few waves of his wand, sparks fell over the flowers. "The flowers'll live forever now." He told me with a gentle smile.
"Thank you, Professor." I whispered. He nodded and gave me a small smile.
"You're welcome, Lily." He said. "Now, I think I'll get going, if you don't mind." He asked me. I shook my head.
"Not at all, sir. Thank you for coming." I told him. He smiled again before turning on the spot and apparating away. Marlene came and stood beside me, with Alex right next to her. She rubbed my shoulder encouragingly and then cleared her throat.
"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. It's a shame I never got to meet you, really. But, judging by Lily and Petunia, you were probably very nice people. Lily's in good hands though," She glanced towards James really quickly, "And she has wonderful friends. I can tell Petunia will be just fine, too." Her voice started cracking and she stepped back a little, and Alex put an arm around her shoulders. Then, Remus cleared his throat.
"Mr. and Mrs. Evans, I unfortunately haven't seen you in a while, since the Christmas of 5th year actually, when Lily introduced me as one of her friends. Mr. Evans, you particularly didn't like me, but as soon as I explained that it was James you had to worry about, and not me, you seemed fine." Remus said quietly. He conjured flowers and put them both on the graves.
"If you guys don't mind, can you go back to the church? I want to…" I said, gesturing the graves. Vernon and Petunia turned around immediately. They probably wanted to stay as far away from us as possible. Marlene and Alex both gave me small smiles and turned to leave, too. Sirius gave me a quick hug before leaving with Remus. Only James remained. "James, if you don't mind…alone?" I said quietly. He nodded, and ran a hand through his hair.
"Yeah, yeah, sure." He muttered, his face falling just a bit. He pulled me in for a hug and kissed the top of my head.
"Thanks." I said. He nodded, and quickly left back to the church. I took a deep breath and faced the graves again. I went on my knees, glad there was grass under me. "Hi mum, dad." I said. I cleared my throat. "If I knew the last time I was going to see you was on the Platform, I would have said so much more. I'm just happy I got the chance to say that I love you. I'm happy I got to hug both of you. I'm happy that we ended on a good note." My voice cracked just a bit. I cleared my throat again, and refused to let myself cry. "There were so many times when I was unhappy with you, or we got into fights. But we always resolved them. You two are the best parents a child could ask for. And I know you'll always be with me. Thank you. Thank you for letting me go to school where I am now. You could've said no, you could've refused to let me go, let me leave for so long, to go so far away. I know you had to deal with Petunia and me at our worst, when we were always fighting, and it probably hurt you to see that your only two daughters didn't get along at all. Separately, we each turned out to be great people, we just had different views. Thank you for everything you've done for me. Everything from bringing me into this world, to accepting James. It was probably difficult, dad, to allow your youngest daughter to date someone who means that much to me. He means the world to me, dad, and I'm glad you accepted him. It means a lot to him, too. I love you both so much." I swallowed some tears again. I took a huge breath to calm down. Once my heart stopped racing, I conjured some flowers, and put them on the graves, just as Remus had done. I got back on my feet and looked at the graves one last time before turning around to meet my friends at the church again.
"Hey, Lily." Remus smiled as he saw me approach. I gave him a weak smile. Sirius ran towards me and crushed me with a hug.
"Feeling better?" He whispered into my ear.
"Yeah." I replied, equally quietly. He pulled back and gave me a wide smile that I hadn't seen in a while. I couldn't help but smile back. James came forward and gave Sirius a warning look. I sighed loudly. Six sets of alarmed eyes were on me. "Come on." I said impatiently, dragging James to a corner of the church. Remus raised his eyebrows. Sirius pretended to stroke his 'beard', and Alex, Marlene, and Peter looked just confused.
"Lily…" James said as I dragged him. I ignored him until we were out of earshot of the others. I turned around to face him and angrily crossed my arms over my chest. He looked at me, completely confused. He honestly had no idea what he was doing wrong?
"James, do you know why I dragged you over here?" I asked him slowly, with a reprimanding tone. He shook his head.
"No idea." He said quietly.
"Do you remember when I yelled at you last week?" I asked, hoping to clear it up. He looked hesitant at first, but then slowly nodded his head. "Will you stop?" I said as more of a statement, rather than a question. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "You're being all fragile around me again. There's no need for that! There's no reason for you to hold back on anything! Saying anything that you normally would isn't going to hurt my feelings! If there's anything that would help me, it's you being you. I'm not going to kill you because you crack a joke or something!" I took a pause to breathe and he started rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "And will you please, please, stop giving me those looks of pity? It's driving me insane!" I huffed.
He grabbed me by my shoulders and kissed me. I missed this. I haven't kissed him in a week. That was much too long. He poured all his passion and love into a kiss that made my knees week. He pulled back much too quickly, completely breathless.
"I love you so much." James said, putting his forehead on mine. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back again, with just as much enthusiasm, but for a shorter time.
"Nice to see you're back." I smiled.
"Nice to see you're back." He shot back, giving me a genuine smile.
"Nice to see that both of you are back!" Sirius said, appearing next to us. James and I jumped, and ended up hitting our heads together.
"OW!" We yelled together.
"And you're starting to say things together again! It's so beautiful!" Sirius choked out, pretending to cry. He threw his arms around our shoulders. "My Prongs and my dear Lily-flower are normal again!" Sirius announced, walking us over to the others. Remus and Peter smiled wide, and joined us in a huge group hug.
"Uh…guys…personal space." I choked out.
"You didn't exactly care about Prongs violating your personal space just a few minutes ago." Peter pointed out.
"That's because it's my job to violate her personal space, Wormtail." James smiled, managing to find me under the other Marauders' hugs, and pulled me towards him. "Mine." He told them all, growling slightly. I giggled a little bit. Marlene and Alex joined in, and suddenly, we were all hugging each other.
"Uh. Guys. This is starting to get awkward." Remus said.
"You think this is awkward? At least you're not in the middle of this thing!" I told him. They finally moved away. "Thank you!" I huffed, straightening myself out again. They all laughed.
"Nice to see you're back, Lily-flower." Sirius smiled, giving me a bear hug again.
A/N: First, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! WE REACHED 200! So, until next Friday,
and I hope you liked this chapter better. Personally, I liked it better, even though it is rather short.
Love,
SAM :)