How it Is
Chapter 25: Identities

By: Nightelfcrawler
Disclaimer: Obviously Transformers is not my own, and is property of Hasbro. Be gentle.

"So…done with your training I take it?"

The silver mech's blue optics lowered to study the human, their gaze calm and unreadable. It had been a long series of months for them both. While Sam had gotten back on his feet swiftly, and begun training his muscles to accept movement again, it was still eerily hard to adapt. He still felt like he was walking in a twilight zone, as if there was something different, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

On the other hand, the 'nameless' mech had been hard at work being schooled, trained and brought up on current tactics and strategies. Sam hadn't seen much of his instruction, but he had gotten the chance to observe as Ironhide tested his skills. At first, the mech had reacted slowly, being hit often and hard, much to Ratchet's displeasure. But then Sam began to see why. After a clumsy start, the mech then began to deftly avoid every shot, dodging, twisting and ducking, as if he knew precisely where Ironhide was going to shoot. The answer as to why came with a soft murmur of admiration from Bumblebee. "He's analyzing his battle tactics."

"He is?" Sam asked curiously, watching as Ironhide swore vehemently as he missed again.

"Yes." Optimus agreed clearly impressed. "This is very telling as to where his strengths lie. Clearly he cannot take and deliver the damage as Ironhide can, however he sees patterns and methods in his attacker's movements." He looked thoughtful, watching the proceedings.

"Think he was a spy or scout?" Ratchet asked thoughtfully. "Barricade functioned as the interceptor infiltrator of the Decepticons, so it makes sense his sparks' role would be something close."

"I agree. See to more specialized training and upgrades in that direction."

"Frag." Came a quiet voice to the side that made Sam glance in the direction of two very unhappy looking twins. "What do you think Sunny."

"I think we're slagged."

"Yeah… definitely slagged."

What was that about, Sam wondered curiously. The twins weren't scared of anyone… well other than Ratchet. It was very odd to see them sneaking about keeping out of sight. Come to think of it, they'd lain low as of late, not pulling any pranks since he'd been back up and about.

Something was definitely fishy.

While the mech seemed good at analyzing battle tactics, he also proved also very sharp minded and intelligent. According to Optimus, he had been very swift to grasp their current situation and even offered some of his own suggestions that proved very sound.

Sam also found that the mech had a long way to go when it came to personality. Perhaps that's why the twins avoided him.

Glowing blue optics studied the human steadily without blinking, as the silver mech kneeled before Sam. Ratchet had done some upgrades for him, basic armor plating now lined his protoform, and he'd just finished getting his transformation circuits completed so he could finally adapt an alt form. He had weapons upgrades now, so he could defend himself. A basic cannon and retractable melee weapon like Bumblebee's completed his small arsenal. He'd also been given permission to finally leave the base, provided he remained with Sam. Optimus had spoken privately with the human, and was convinced Sam could take care of himself. However, he still had warned him not to let his guard down. There was no telling who or what they were dealing with yet. While as of yet, the mech had shown himself to be non-violent, he still had a cold exterior reminiscent of the former Decepticon's personality, and Sam felt eerily squeamish when those optics stared at him. While they were blue, they had a sharp intensity that still reminded him of Barricade.

"I am to accompany you, Sam Witwicky." The mech said in a quiet tenor completely unlike Barricade's rumbling baritone. Ratchet had to completely construct new vocal processors, but the tone and inflection still reminded Sam a little of the former 'con. "Am I to understand you have several locations available to find an alternate mode?"

"Yeah." Sam agreed, rubbing the back of his neck. "We can go watch some freeways, there's a car show in town and my dad gave us clearance to go into his dealership, but getting there might be tough."

"I am sure there will be something suitable. Shall we go?" The mech lowered a hand, and Sam awkwardly climbed into the offered mode of transportation. By now he was used to traveling in palms, on shoulders or tucked carefully between crevasses in armor, but he still was quite aware of just how easy it would be for one of these giant miracles of metal to smush him. Especially when it came to this particular mech.

He still hadn't chosen a name for himself, though Bumblebee told Sam that it was natural, given he still wasn't sure of his place in their ranks yet. When Sam had asked who Bee thought the mech really was, his friend had offered a few suggestions of insight from his own experience. He wouldn't give a name, but he did seem to believe as the others did that this mech was not a front battle runner, but someone who took a side or back seat, possibly a scout or backup. Sam had asked the others, but none of them wanted to speculate, even Optimus had warned him not to push others. The worst thing, he said, was that they pressured the mech into believing he was someone he wasn't. They would find out in time, it just would take some patience. However, Sam still secretly thought of the mech as Barricade, and was quite curious to find out just what form he would choose, especially given Sam knew his dad had mentioned he had a Saleen at his dealership.

The walk to the freeway overlook was quite some distance, but thankfully by now they all knew the best back roads to take to avoid being spotted, and it did help that it was in the dead of night with no moon. Sam had gotten used to the whole 'sneaking around at night' thing, mostly because he rarely felt tired after a good nap in the sun. It turned out, as usual, Ratchet had been right. Sunshine did make him feel better. He felt stronger, wide awake and energized after a short nap, and rarely realized he'd gone the whole night without watching the time pass. Mikaela had teased him mercilessly for being the 'super robot's version of the energizer bunny'. He hadn't been amused. Nonetheless, this evening was perfect for sneaking about. There were only a few cars on the highway, so the dash across was fairly easy to do without being spotted. Once they were out in the rolling hills, Sam actually enjoyed the journey. "So…" He said as they settled down on the hill overlooking the busy road. "I heard that you're just about ready for duty."

"That is correct."

"Cool, know what you'll be doing?"

"I believe I am to be stationed with Hound and Bumblebee for some reconnaissance. The Decepticon activity has been sporadic as of late."

"So I've heard. No one's seen much of them since the incident at the dam." Sam agreed quietly. He'd heard about the twins' escapade, and wondered like the rest what the cons were up to. They seemed to pick their targets so randomly, Sam couldn't figure it out. Neither could anyone else on base. It was peculiar, and frustrating, as hundreds of lives had been forfeit to the Decepticons' ruthless tactics. It was peculiar that the cons would target humans like this, everyone agreed. But no one could come up with the reason WHY. It was very frustrating, especially to Lennox and his team, who were trying their hardest to prevent civilian casualties.

"May I ask you one question, Sam Witwicky?" The mech said suddenly.

"Uh… sure. Shoot."

"Shoot?" Blue optics stared intently down at him. "Shoot what, exactly?"

"It's an expression. It means, go ahead and ask."

"I see. Human speech patterns are quite puzzling at times."

"Yeah… but they're fun just the same." Sam grinned. "So what's your question?"

"Your parental units, and your comrades are aware of our presence. As is your military and ranking officers in your governing body, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Why then do they insist on concealing our presence, when as of yet, so many of your people do know of our existence, and more are becoming aware of the situation? It seems to me that the more who are aware of the danger that is ever present, the better it would be for us all."

Sam blinked. "Well, it's not as easy as that. Most people out there aren't ready for you guys yet… I think they need to be introduced to it slowly. If everyone finds out alien robots have been living on Earth under the protective wing of the U.S. government, there'll be a lot of slag going down, ya know?"

"I understand." The mech said thoughtfully, his expression calm but reflective. "Panic would instill violence and irrational behavior. Organics are very undisciplined with their emotions."

"You got that right." Sam grinned as he glanced back down at the freeway overpass below them. The busy rush of traffic zipped forward and backwards like a constant flow of water. Red lights leaving, white lights shining on the hills around them as cars flashed to and fro busy at any time of night. There was a mix of vehicles to choose from, and Sam found himself watching the mech's expressive blue optics as they flashed from one vehicle to the next, studying ones that he found appealing. He had the feeling this would take a while, so Sam sprawled out on the grass and stared upwards at the stars spread out above them. He often wondered where Cybertron had sparkled in the sky. He knew it wasn't there to the visible eye, even advanced optics couldn't pick it up, but Bumblebee had pointed out the general area he thought that his former home had been. It was somewhere around the Big Dipper, he thought.

He wasn't even sure when he drifted off, but a swaying motion brought him back awake with a jolt. "Huh?" He sat up and blinked, finding himself cradled in a large hand.

Bright blue optics stared down at him appraisingly from a vaguely familiar, yet oddly unfamiliar face. The mech now sported a battle mask reminiscent of Optimus' but with a reflective blue visor similar to Jazz's. His form was sleek and dark, with only glints of silver shining off headlights from the highway, so Sam couldn't see the precise details, however it held more bulk than his protoform had, and was oddly compact at the same time. In the dim light from the highway, Sam could see wheels positioned near the ankles, reminiscent of Jazz's style. Headlights were positioned just beneath the shoulder blades, slim and narrow beams turned off, thankfully. Right smack dab in the center, a sleek red Autobot symbol was positioned in the middle of his chest. He had a black helmet with two red reflectors positioned at his temples. On either side of his shoulders, doors jutted out in a wide splayed position. As Sam studied him, the visor and face mask retracted, revealing a somber silver face with bright blue optics piercingly studying his reaction.

Sam thought as he stood up slowly, studying the mech's figure carefully. "You found one you liked, I take it?" he asked nervously. The mech looked completely different from Barricade, thankfully. There was nothing vicious or pointy about this one, he was sleek and aerodynamic, and held himself tall. The design was also completely different, so Sam didn't find much to fear.

"I did. This form is suitable. It may require further revisions, however it will do for now." The mech replied simply. "Shall we return to base?" Sam nodded and sat back down in his palm as he began to move. They walked the distance over the hill, until finally they reached the side road they'd used to access the overlook, and Sam felt his stomach drop as he was placed back on the ground.

What happened next he expected, of course. However, he was totally unprepared for the result.

At first, Sam felt his heart speed up in fear as he stared when the mech finished his transformation sequence. Sitting there gleaming in the dim night was a black car that was eerily reminiscent of the Saleen S281 Extreme that Barricade had favored. Only… there were a few subtle changes.

The front grill was sleeker and less boxy, the hood rounded. The wheels sported fancy alloy spokes, and there were several aerodynamic vents on the side of the doors. The car also had a spoiler, which Sam remembered Barricade had also sported, however this one was dual layered and much taller. Also, right smack dab on the rear of the car between the dimly glowing red tail lights was an Autobot insignia emblazoned in black above the plate. It was eerily similar, yet oddly different, and Sam found himself wanting to suddenly hum a theme song to a familiar series that Mikaela was so enamored with. The mech had chosen the Ford Mustang Shelby Cobra GT500KR. The make and model were so similar to the Saleen, that Sam had almost hyperventilated, but upon closer examination he realized the car was different. Just as the spark of the mech was of similar form, it was also independent of Barricade.

Sam let out a low whistle and opened the passenger door, sliding into the black car and admiring the sleek interior. "Man… you got nice preferences. I half expected you to take a cop car though."

"You deduce this based on my previous incarnation?" The tenor voice spoke out from the speakers calmly as the car accelerated smoothly with a deep vibration of it's powerful engine.

"Yeah. He had the whole 'bad cop' thing going."

"I admit, I find your law enforcement to be a prime example of stability. They cherish law and order above all, something I find appealing. There is far too lax of enforcement among our ranks."

Sam gulped. Great. The twins would LOVE that. "Take it one step at a time. You'll give Sunny and Sides spark-attacks if you start quoting laws to them."

"It would do them some good, if you ask me."

"Oh boy."

They drove on in silence, as Sam sat comfortably reclined in the seat of the moving car. The more he stared at the interior and thought about it, the more questions popped into his mind. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"You may."

"You really don't remember anything?" Sam asked quietly. "I mean, no flashes, no insights, nothing?"

There was silence for a time before the answer came. "I do not possess memories of my former incarnations, however there are… glimpses….which I have lately begun to establish as past memories."

"Glimpses?" Sam wondered if he could guess what exactly he meant by that.

"During recharge, one particular image replays upon my processors. From what I have been told, I believe it is the final attack on my previous incarnation."

"The seekers gunning you down?"

"Precisely. The images are incomplete, but vividly fresh." The voice sounded thoughtful as the car smoothly took the turns on the back roads. "I also experience the emotions associated with that scene, quite powerful and violent."

"Figures." Sam muttered.

"I also contain the image recollection from the incarnation previous to Barricade."

Sam looked up hesitantly, wondering just how much he did remember. The teen had been told by the others the details of this whole situation, so he knew what that scene contained. However, like the rest he had no clue as to much beyond that. But something tugged at his mind, leading him onwards, twisting curious thought processes closer. "Hey…about that." He said softly. "I'm not sure this would work, but from what Optimus has told me about the Matrix and the Allspark, isn't it possible that there's more hidden there somewhere you can't find it?"

"You refer to your connection to the Matrix." Came the thoughtful remark. "I am no expert on it's properties, however it is likely that there is a connection. If you wish to attempt memory retrieval, I would not be against such an action. Like the others, I seek answers to my past."

Sam smiled a bit. He liked this mech. He wasn't violent and temperamental like Barricade, yet still had the brutal honest bluntness that he had been capable of. "Ok… but let's pull over for this. I don't want you wrecking out on a curve cause I pulled up a form of some sexy femme from your past."

"That is unlikely." However, the mech slowed down and pulled off to the shoulder, parking there for their attempt.

Sam closed his eyes and lightly placed his hands on either side of the seat as he relaxed. The connection and flow came easily to him, almost like relaxing your muscles to relieve tension. Instantly he felt the awareness of the mech beneath him as he connected to him. He would have been terrified to attempt this when he'd been Barricade, that was one mind he didn't want to see into. However, this mech was far more organized, disciplined and calm. There was no frightening thoughts and violent images that came to the surface, and this gave Sam the chance to dive closer to his own 'core' where the power of the Allspark lay, and embrace it's warm glow into himself. It was a familiar feeling now, and came easily to his mere thoughts. Sam supposed that the metal fusion with his organics had helped speed the process along. Ever since he'd woke from stasis, he'd found it easier to connect and join with the power flowing through him. He could feel it constantly there, thrumming inside him like a generator, running through his veins just out of reach until he called it. He'd perfected self-defense using the power from within, and had even managed to set different levels for himself, from vaporizing to a mild jolt that Bumblebee claimed 'tickled'. He was also no longer afraid of it. He knew now it was a part of him, and it wasn't going to harm him, as it's own existence depended on his survival. It was one with him, and he with it, and he'd come to accept this.

Therefore when he plunged into the flow of power, he knew what to do. He focused on the signature of the spark he was connected with, and searched for any sign of it in the deep resonating well of the Matrix. It was like typing a word into a search engine, in a way. Sam could narrow down what was relevant and what wasn't. While he knew Barricades' memories might be helpful, he also didn't want the mech to become the ex-con again. He also knew Optimus would be against 're-programming' him. So Sam just did a search for some basic information. It turned out that there wasn't a whole lot there to begin with. Sorting through the vast network of the Matrix was like looking for one grain of black sand amidst a beach of white. But Sam also felt a guiding force pulling him in the right direction, so when suddenly he felt a thrilling charge in the very center of his being, he knew he'd found it, and dove into the memories, linking to his 'client' to patch them over to him at the same time Sam watched.

Flashes of memories… Cybertron tall and mighty, it's beautiful city towering overhead with bright lights and flowing traffic in the air and on the ground.

The feel of wind against a sleek transport as they sped down a road weaving in and out of other mechs running along the same route.

Faces, mechs that Sam knew, and some he didn't recognize but knew just the same through this link.

Optimus giving orders directly to the mech, and laughing as something witty was said.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe fleeing as fast as their feet could take them being pursued by the mech.

A line of soldiers standing at attention, listening as orders were given directly to them by him.

And finally… a scene that formed in it's entirety, before their watching minds.

"Sir, reporting for duty."

"At ease." Optimus rumbled, standing up from his seat and walking to approach the watching mech. Oddly, Sam thought his optics appeared dimmer, as if the leader was weighing a heavy burden on his shoulders. Rumbling explosions sounded distantly from around them, and Sam realized this was war-time. The room they were in was battered and dull, clearly not a seat of office, but a hidden base. "You know your responsibilities and what is at stake with this mission."

"I do, sir."

Optimus seemed to study the mech before him with a torn glance. "It's not too late. I can send any number of other candidates."

"With all due respect, sir, you can't do that." The mech replied firmly. "You require a high-ranking experienced officer for this job. Were you to send a lesser candidate, the Decepticons would be likely suspicious that this could be a ruse or trick. You require my expertise in this mission. I would not settle for allowing anyone else to carry out a mission as important as this."

"You understand the consequences of what this means."

"I do sir. What is a soldier's life to the greater cause? The most important thing at the moment is for you to get the Allspark to safety. I gladly lay my life down to give you this chance."

There was a long pause before Optimus turned to face his soldier, and then saluted sharply. The mech returned the motion with perfect precision. "I trust if there is any chance you can escape after the siege, you will take every possible action."

"I will sir. I have outlined safety protocols in my processor to protect vital functions and memories, and preserve my core from tampering. They will believe they have broken me after getting the restricted codes and information, as I have programmed a response to mimic a broken personality. However, I assure you there is no concern in my mind they will break through my protocols. If I can return, I will, sir."

"I have faith in you my friend. May Primus' keep watch over you and guide you safely home to us once more."

"Thank you sir."

The memory faded and switched over to the flashes that Sam had been told about, brutal torture and painful experiences as the mech came face to face with his new body at the hands of a very twisted former scientist….

Then everything twisted and switched, and suddenly the images were most darker. Brutal training, violent damage and cruel words, in-fighting among ranks, and cold-blooded murders. Sam's stomach twisted watching Barricade's memories flash to and fro, mostly fraught with violence and hate, vengeance and glory. He also could feel the connection wavering, and so he wasn't unhappy as he released the link and let the images and memories fade as he pulled out of the Matrix's hold and slowly released his connection, opening his eyes.

The car shuddered beneath him, and Sam shivered in response. While the images had been fleeting, brief, they had learned some very important things in this little reflection. Firstly, that the mech had indeed been an Autobot, and a high-ranking officer under Optimus' command who had been sent on a very important mission to apparently be captured and interrogated by the enemy. He had gone willingly, knowing the risks and consequences. Secondly, he had been familiar with many of the others, and seemed to have an extra close bond with the twins, in an antagonistic way. Thirdly, even as Barricade he had rebelled against his programming, knowing that it wasn't right and something was wrong. He had hated Starscream passionately without really knowing why.

Sam let out a slow breath. "Wow… so… that helped a bit." He murmured.

"Indeed." Came the quiet response, a bit shaken still. "It answers many questions, and I believe now I will know who precisely I was… Optimus will know."

Sam blinked with realization. He was right, if he'd been sent on such a specialized mission, surely Optimus would now know exactly who he was. He grinned. "You'll finally have a name."

"Indeed. It will be a relief to finally accept a designation. There is only so much one can take when given nicknames from two certain mechs."

Sam grinned wider. "What, the twins weren't being creative enough?"

"Too creative." Came the rumbling growl. "I do not appreciate being called 'Bucket-head'."

Sam grinned wider. "No doubt."

The car's engine started with a roar, vibrations shivering up through the leather seats as the Shelby Cobra tore across the dirt back onto the road with more horsepower than Sam had ever felt even while riding with Bumblebee. The acceleration was smooth and he took the corners fast and hard, and with one glance Sam realized that they were going far faster than they should. "Um… where are we going in such a hurry?"

"I have just received a distress call from Ironhide." Was the terse reply. "He is pinned down in the city, under fire."

Sam felt his blood go cold. "Oh crap."

"Indeed."

The Shelby squealed around a corner, tires spinning as they floored it down onto the highway, heading forward at breakneck speed like a dark arrow in the night. "How many?"

"Two, possibly three of the Seekers." Was the quiet reply.

Sam felt his heart pound even harder. Them again… Great. "Floor it."

"I'm going as fast as I am able to, Sam." Came the rather irritated response. "Unfortunately, we are about to be pursued."

"Pursued?" Sam blinked and glanced over his shoulder out the rear window in time to see flashing lights hot on their tail. For a moment, panic course through him, before it occurred to him that there really wasn't any need to be afraid of cops anymore, considering the only 'bad cop' that had freaked him out was now rather mild-mannered in comparison to his alternate personality. Then it clicked. "Dude, scan one of them and take on their paint job."

"Why?"

"Because, cops get to break the rules and everyone gets out of their way when you go screaming lights and sirens. Plus they won't bother us if you're one of them."

"Good enough." And Sam heard the tell-tale digital initialization sequence as the mech sent a pulse behind him and scanned the closest patrol unit. Then, as Sam watched the cab around him shifted and morphed as it sprouted police scanners, computer consoles and a wail of a siren pierced the night along with others as suddenly the cop cars pulled up beside them.

Sam gulped and hunched down quickly, hissing in a low voice. "You have a hologram, right?"

"Yes." And with a flicker of light, the form of a plain clothed clean shaven man with dark glasses and black outfit sat in the driver's seat. With a casual glance over at the adjacent cop cars, the mech seemed to realize the slight problem, and before Sam's eyes his outfit rippled to replicate the local police officer in the car beside him. With a casual lift of his hand, the mech's holoform succeeded in confusing the officer long enough to tear ahead, lights flaring as they sped down the highway into the night.

Just another night on the job, Sam thought.