A/N: I hope you enjoy.

IMPORTANT: I do not support wearing real fur. What is mentioned, is sorely for the purpose of the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack On Titan.

Merethe's POV

I could still feel it. I could still remember how they looked. Their green cloaks and the wings of freedom attached to them. I was never able to see their faces. I hadn't been able to distinguish the face of those who tried to murder me.

I hadn't been able to talk to them. I hadn't been able to see Levi. I hadn't been able to see Erwin. I hadn't been able to see Hanji. I could hear the voice in my head whisper the same word over and over again.

The forest had allowed me to escape their blades and arrows. I had been naively filled with hope the moment I had seen them. Only a couple of weeks had passed after I escaped the facility in which they had been keeping me. I had managed to survive the cold by sewing the skin of the animals I had killed. I had murdered them without hesitating, the instinct of survival far stronger than pity. I had eaten their flesh and worn their skin.

Primitive. I felt primitive killing innocent animals, using their corpses to dress myself. But then again, it was no different from buying the meat inside the walls and cooking it. It was no different from buying a fur coat and wearing it during the winter. Mercy had long disappeared from my vocabulary. A word I didn't utter when I killed. A word I didn't utter when controlling the titans to kill for me.

With each day that passed, I lost my humanity. The person I became when controlling titans had started to take over. My demons had stopped begging me and instead had instructed me what to do. I had become addicted to death. I had become addicted to survival. I had become addicted to controlling everything around me.

I had approached the soldiers than belonged to the military branch I had joined. They didn't speak, they didn't look at me. One of them moved silently and pulled out his bow. The arrow hit the tree next to me. I brought my hand to my face and the warm red liquid stained my skin. I looked at them in confusion and opened up my mouth to speak when I felt a pair of hands wrap themselves around my neck from behind me. I elbowed my attacker in the stomach and turned around to look at him. A mask covered his face. I didn't waste time in taking the blade he held and slitting his throat.

I could hear someone walking behind me. Tightly holding onto the dagger I stabbed the man. Their intent to kill me had clouded any trace of hope left in me. One of them yelled an order and they all dismounted their horses. They had become shadows. Darkness surrounded me. Their hands reaching out to me.

I took off running. I ran away from them. The forest was deep and obscure. I would use the environment to my advantage. I heard them chasing me. I heard their voices telling me to stop. I heard their arrows hit the ground and their blades collide against the floor. The earth trembling beneath me with each step they took.

As soon as I caught sight of a titan, I focused on it. Ordering the titan to kill them, I was able to get away from them. I ran as far as my legs allowed me to. I had left the forest behind. I didn't know where I was running to. I arrived at a subarctic environment. I instantly recognized it to be a terrain type called tundra. Books had taught me how to recognize any type of land. Ironically, such environment was the most human-friendly on earth. Long winter nights were safe for travel, as the extremely cold temperatures froze titans in their tracks, or at the very least, slowed them down. The long summer days put sight-dependent humans on equal parity with their omnisensed, cannibal pursuers.

Even though I no longer had to worry about titans eating me, I decided to settle there. I had never liked the hot weather. But I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay there forever. I wouldn't be able to live in such a place in solitude for the rest of my life. Eventually, the Survey Corps would find me.

I realized that I had become their enemy. I didn't know the reason why. But there was something that didn't feel right. Nothing about it felt right. Putting the fact that they tried to kill me aside, I didn't see any of their faces. They wanted my death to be by an unknown hand. They wanted me dead. They fucking wanted me dead.

Did Levi agree on this shit? Did Erwin? Did Hanji? I couldn't believe it. They wanted to kill me. Did they have a saying in it? Was Erwin forced to send a group of people to kill me? If then, how did they find me? Were the Survey Corps linked to the people that tortured me? Why was I able to identify those who could turn into titans? Did they give me whatever abilities I possessed?

My own kin was trying to get rid of me.

I was sitting in front of the fire, playing with the engagement ring Levi had given to me. My heart ached for their betrayal. I refused to cry. The man I loved, my father and my best friend had agreed on my assassination. It pained me to think it was possibly real. It pained me to believe everything they were willing to do.

My body was starting to give in. I didn't want to close my eyes. Levi's face haunted me. His smile, his chuckles, his soft laughter, his peaceful expression, his groans, his body. I rubbed my eyes, wiping away the tears that threatened to come out. Somehow, in front of that fire, with nothing but the cold and the titans that stood far away from me to keep me company, I broke. I didn't cry, I didn't smile, and I didn't show any emotion. I sat there, feeling the last bits of my past life go with the waves of the ocean that silently calmed me.

-I never thought I'd see the ocean…-I whispered to myself, smiling sadly when I came to reality once again.

I had read about the ocean in various books that my father kept hidden in the attic. I had read about the sand. I wasn't that far away from the beach, but I preferred to stay close to the nearby forest. Snow covered the floor like a blanket. I caught sight of a couple of arctic foxes. A family. I just stared at them from afar, sighing. I could see my breath. I rubbed my hands together, trying to heat them.

I pulled the fur coat closer to my skin to keep myself from the cold and gave in to fatigue. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. My head hit the floor softly and I fell asleep. I fell asleep, unable to brush aside the feeling of betrayal. I couldn't blame them. I was dangerous. I was a danger to anyone who came closer to me. It was a miracle Levi didn't die when he was with me.

But, fuck, I missed him. I missed everything about him. I missed the life we would never have. I wept his betrayal. I wept his decision to kill me.

Their blades hadn't killed me, but their choice, in time, would.

"I used to advertise my loyalty and I don't believe there is a single person I loved that I didn't eventually betray." –Albert Camus, The Fall

A/N: I hope you enjoyed. Please feel free to review, it really does help me out a lot.

Thank you GoldenLombaxGirl for leaving me such an awesome review.