PLEASE READ FIRST!
This work does NOT belong to me, but I think it deserves a wider audience than it had up to now. Since the author wishes to stay anonymous she has given permission to publish it somewhere else other than on livejournal as she has no intention to. I will leave a link on livejournal to this post for the author, so make sure to review.
Original can be found here:
story: "http"":""/""/""norsekink"".""livejournal"".""com""/""10823"".""html""?""page""=""25""#""comments" (remove all " and scroll down a bit)
chapter: "http"":""/""/""norsekink"".""livejournal"".""com""/""10823"".""html""?""thread""=""924487#t24924487" (remove all " and scroll down a bit)
WARNING this work contains mental und physical non-con, massive internal conflict, PTSD. You have been warned!
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Thor was a bundle of nerves. The day before had been a complete disaster. They had shown up at the Bifrost, uncertain as to their reception following Loki's meltdown, only to find that both Loki and Laufey were unavailable.
"My brother has kingdom business to attend to, I'm afraid it cannot wait. But I am authorised to speak in his stead." Prince Vindsval had said with a predatory smile. "There is no reason why we cannot continue the negotiations."
The king's general, Thrym then stepped forwards.
"I apologise for my actions yesterday." He said stiffly while giving Odin the Frost Giant equivalent of the Stink Eye.
Odin accepted his apology with grace and they made their way down to the castle.
Without Loki around, Thor had nothing to do. He spent the day sitting in the negotiation room trying not to fall asleep from the sheer minutia of details that Odin and Vindsval were ploughing through.
Odin argued over everything. Without the need to concentrate on the spell his ability to debate and discuss everything became noticeably better. He poured over every detail and delayed every decision for so long they could have put it on his epitaph. King Odin of Asgard: Allfather to the people, Great Warrior, Fantastic at Stalling.
Despite this, they still managed to finish the final details for the new Asgard wall. There was only so much stalling he could reasonable do, and so they lost a day in their struggle to end the spell before the negotiations could end.
That night their spy had reported that she had been unable to reach Loki and that he was still angry and very hurt by Odin's words.
Thor promised himself that today would be better. Today he would find a way to see Loki again. Perhaps today Father would find a way to break the spell.
"Queen Loki is unavailable." Laufey said shortly in response to his request. "Let's get started."
As Odin and Laufey prepared to battle their wits once again, Thor found himself looking over at Thrym, who had shown a similar level of concern for Loki two days before. He made his way over to him.
"Have you any word of my brother? Is he alright?" He asked quietly.
Thrym regarded him with his large red eyes.
"You're father does not deserve him." He said softly, angrily.
Thor winced.
"Please tell him that I care for him, and that I long to see him again. Please, I am his brother, always."
Thrym gave him a long, slow look, then nodded.
"I will tell him." He said.
"Thankyou." Thor said.
They sat in silence for a while as the two Kings attempted to bore one another to death.
"We sparred back during your Celebrations." Thor said.
"I know, you won." Thrym answered.
"You did not spar with me two days ago when your men did." Thor said. "I would like the opportunity again. You were a worthy partner."
"You will have to wait a little while." Thrym informed him with a slight twitch of his lips. "I am with child, and he is just big enough now that I must stop my more vigorous activities."
Thor looked down at Thrym's stomach in surprise. The tight muscles that had been present across his belly had softened and the slightest of bulges could be seen to those who chose to look.
"I…didn't realise, I am sorry." Thor said.
"Don't be, a child is a great blessing, and when he is born I will humiliate you utterly in the training grounds." Thrym said calmly.
Thor grinned.
"You will try." He promised.
His face sobered.
"Is Loki allowed to spar?" He asked.
"Of course, he has done so a few times." Thrym said. "Your brother aches but he is strong and I see clearly that he has you by his side, in spirit if not in body."
"I never wanted him to be so hurt." Thor said.
"Nor I, nor Laufey for all that you do not believe it." Thrym answered. "Loki needs time to heal."
"I fear for him." Thor said. "He is alone."
Thrym just looked at him.
"He is not with you, but I would never leave him alone when he is in pain. I have put my best warrior in charge of his care."
###
Loki looked up from his book when he heard the door knock. He had not been reading it. That morning Laufey had spoken a long time about duty, honour, pain and why pushing your feelings down can cause major emotional outbursts after bedtime. It had not made him feel any better.
Ran had visited him afterwards and rubbed his feet until he was almost in a daze. Puluk had also come by with specially made shoes that were almost exactly a mould of Loki's feet. Almost, because where the arches were they were a millimetre higher than his own. Puluk wrapped them firmly around his feet and told him he was to wear them whenever he was planning to be seated for a decent stretch of time.
He was wearing them now, and after an hour in them his feet were starting to hurt.
"Come in?" He called out.
A familiar, round head poked around the door.
"Goupr." Loki said.
He had not seen Goupr for some time now and he was a welcoming sight.
Goupr walked into the room carrying Býleistr in his arms.
"Hello Uncle Queen." Býleistr called out with a grin.
"Hello Býleistr." Loki said, unable to keep the smile from his face. "How have you been?"
"Well. I made up another story. Do you want to hear it?" Býleistr asked.
"Of course." Loki said, setting aside his book.
Goupr handed Býleistr to Loki and sat down on the other end of the window seat.
"How are your feet?" He asked. "Thrym told me you were having them treated."
"They hurt." Loki said. "I'm not sure it's worth the effort."
Goupr examined them.
"It will be, you'll appreciate it in a century, trust me."
"In a century I'll admit you're right." Loki said with a wince.
Goupr reached down and unwrapped the bindings to release his feet.
"Take it slowly, Býleistr? Why don't you start your story?"
"Alright." Býleistr said as Goupr began to gently rub Loki's feet.
Loki let him, it felt really good.
Býleistr's story was another Ice Maiden Adventure. Loki found himself more entertained than he thought he would be, especially the part where the ice maiden rescued the King of Jotunheim from a troll/asgard hybrid of Doom.
Afterwards Goupr caught Loki up on some castle gossip, gave him a brief rundown on the visit of his mother and discussed the Royal Progress, which was apparently ready to depart as soon as Laufey finished with the negotiations.
"You'll love the northern villages, they build their houses so unlike anyone else's. About halfway through we'll pass through the deep valley, which is actually just a crack in the ice, not deep at all. A long time ago it was deep, but the ice movement has closed it up."
"I've read about it. There's a petition going around to rename it, and has been for twelve thousand years, apparently." Loki said.
"Yes. They never will, they prefer tradition. Or maybe they are all insane, either way the name is staying." Goupr said.
His face grew serious.
"Loki do you want to tell me about what you heard your father say?"
"No." Loki said quickly.
"Alright, but you know I will always listen if you need me."
"I know." Loki said, looking away out of the window.
Goupr just waited.
"I thought he loved me." Loki said, turning back with wide eyes. "He *said* he loved me, growing up he told me he did. He called me a prince of Asgard! I…sort of suspected he favoured Thor, and I was never a proper Asgard warrior. But, he told me it didn't matter, he sat down and told me that himself when I was younger. I thought he'd fight for me."
"You feel betrayed." Goupr said.
"He said I did not belong in Asgard." Loki said, his eyes were filling with tears. "I always felt different but I still thought I belonged, now I find out he regrets taking me."
Goupr gave him a look of sympathy.
"I know it hurts, nothing can make that fade except time, but Loki, remember your friends, remember your brother and your mother. They would not say such things. They love you. You are not abandoned by all of Asgard."
Loki gave him a sad smile.
"Odin speaks for all of Asgard." He said.
Býleistr gave him a hug.
###
By the time lunch came Laufey had a headache. He just wanted Odin to leave them alone, but the Asgard king was insisting on hammering out every last detail of their new arrangement.
But the building details were finally done, which would return them the casket in due time. Frigga had been allowed one visit per month and one extra, day-long visit during the Celebrations to make up for the months of the Darkening when she could not come at all. Hopefully they could finish the last of things by the end of tomorrow.
He just had one question for Thrym.
"Why is Goupr sitting next to the Asgard?" He asked.
"He asked me if he could. I see no harm in it, Goupr is amazingly good at getting along with people." Thrym said. "Better than me at the moment." He added, watching Odin darkly.
"It's just unusual that's all." Laufey said. "He hasn't even joined us for lunch on the other days."
"He's been busy, training for the Royal Progress and sourcing things for the new baby." Thrym said.
"Don't you have a lot of old things?" Laufey asked.
Thrym let out a snort.
"Oh yes, we held onto everything for three and a half centuries just in case. Brother, the royal family are the only ones who need baby things so quickly after the first one, we have started from scratch."
"Oh. Do you want anything? A gift?"
"If you can find a shaker like the one we had when we were children I will love you forever. The ones they make these days are rubbish." Thrym said. "But apart from that we are fine."
They watched Goupr as he spoke to Thor.
"He talked to Loki earlier." Thrym said. "He came to lunch with a strange look in his eye. He says there is something suspicious going on."
"Did he say what?" Laufey asked.
"Only that no one is shocked to find out that their parent doesn't love them." Thrym said. "And no I don't understand it either."
"As long as he doesn't slap him I don't care." Laufey said.
"I'm *sorry*." Thrym said.
"I'm letting you off with a warning, because I wanted to do the same thing. Don't almost cause an inter-realm incident again or I'll make you clean out the stables without help."
"You'll be knee deep in Grur shit then, no one can clean the entire stables on their own." Thrym said.
"Correction, *you'll* be knee deep in Grur shit." Laufey said. "Then you'll be buried in Grur shit and then, only *then* will I send the stable hands back in to dig you out and clean it up."
"You're mean brother, very mean." Thrym said.
###
Odin sat at the far end and concentrated on the spell. Alarmingly, the building details were done, and Frigga's visits had been finalised too. If he couldn't think of a way to stall further then it looked like they would be finished by the end of the next day.
A rather distinct Jotun was sitting near him. He had an almost completely round head and was chatting happily to Thor as though he were not sitting right next to a group of Asgard warriors.
"And is your Majesty happy with the negotiations so far?" He asked.
Odin was forced to look up for politeness sake.
"I am, err?"
"Goupr, your Majesty. I am Thrym's mate."
"General Thrym told me he was with child." Thor said, trying to pull Goupr's attention away from his father so Odin could work more on the spell. "Congratulations."
"Thankyou, it is a great blessing. How many children do you have, your Majesty?" Goupr asked.
Odin tried to stay calm as once again he was forced to look away from the Jotun King.
"Two." He answered.
"Thor and Loki?" Goupr asked.
"Yes." Odin answered, trying to keep it brief.
"I am surprised that with only two you have been so accommodating in letting Loki come to us. Of course it is best for Jotunheim, but it must have been hard for you to release him." Goupr said with a polite smile.
"He is Jotun, he will do better here." Odin said shortly.
"Once we heal him." Goupr said.
"What's wrong with him?" Odin asked, just a little too quickly.
"His feet are too flat, they needed to be rubbed nightly when he started walking to keep them curved. Of course back when we lived in the caves it was not a problem, children who learned to walk also learned to climb. They spent their whole day using all of their foot muscles. But then we moved to the cities and villages and our children only walked on flat ground which caused their feet to flatten and the muscles to seize. We must help them now when they start to walk or they will have pain when they are older."
"He'll be fine then." Odin said dismissively.
"He is very sad at the moment. I think he misses Asgard." Goupr said.
"He'll get over it." Odin said, trying to focus on Laufey.
"So you have dismissed him from you thoughts." Goupr said boldly. "He is ours for the rest of his life and you do not care if he is happy."
"He knows his duty, he'll be fine here. He's Jotun, for once in his life he'll fit in." Odin said.
"And you never truly loved him." Goupr continued.
Odin turned to face Goupr and held his gaze.
"No." He lied.
Goupr smiled and leaned in conspiratorially.
"Bullshit." He whispered.
Right, I'm not as tired anymore so I shall say what I meant to last night.
Loki's bite/suck on Laufey's collarbone is the Jotun equivalent of a grown man sucking his thumb. He has all these instincts that he never acknowledged and he doesn't know which ones are childish and which ones are acceptable in an adult. When he's upset he just follows them.
Loki's desire to please Odin by going along with what he thought his father wanted is based on his actions in the movie, even after screaming at Odin in the weapons vault he still attacked Jotunheim and declared himself the 'son of Odin' Odin's supposed abandonment just made him want to try harder.
Also Goupr is one BAMF who knows a bit about parents, especially difficult ones.