Authors Note: Now that we are past the first movie chapters are going to be harder to write… having Peter Jackson's films to reference made it easier. So chapters might be a bit sporadic… my goal is three chapters a week but that is a challenge… there will definitely be two. Mondays/Wednesday/Friday if there are three or just Monday/Wednesday or Thursday if there are only two. Thanks for continuing to read and thank you for taking the time to review.

-O-

Chapter 36 – Nothing good can come of it

Balin

As he wandered around the elven way station, Balin had to admit that he was impressed. While he had a natural bias to the dwarf way of doing things he was not so blinded by it that he couldn't appreciate the simple splendor around him. The elves had managed to take a natural cave system and turn it into a thing of beauty as well a fully livable space for several people. The splendor of the way station almost made him forget it was a place that housed soldiers in the war against the East. It even had a sophisticated plumbing system much to the elven lass' delight who immediately chased them out so they could bathe. After they were done, Eliana had ordered that they all wash before she would treat their wounds, muttering under her breath that they all reeked of goblin. The elves had stocked the station with every necessity a traveler would need to stay for a while including clothing and weapons. They had obviously planned to use this more than it has been... Gandalf mentioned it had been built in the Second Age and was a strategic location for the Rivendell elves. After the battle at Dagorlad it probably didn't get much use he thought as he ran his fingers over the dust cover carvings of ivy in the stone wall. This place would suit their needs nicely… after the trauma of the past couple days they all needed a rest. Balin wandered back towards the commons area where Eliana and the elf maiden Laurwyn were going to be treating the wounded. Balin was lucky, only a few minor cuts… but already pain and stiffness were settling into his joints. He wasn't as young as he used to be… it was days like today that reminded him of that fact.

He found his way back and took a seat on the bench by the entranceway and watched as Eliana treated Thorin's wounds in the back section of the room. It reminded Balin of days long ago… when Eliana had her clinic in Erebor. There were many times after sword training that he found himself on one of her treatment tables when he was young. Balin frowned, the scene before him also reminded him of a similar scene over a hundred and seventy-five years ago when Thorin was injured on patrol. Eliana tended to his wounds that day as well, she was as oblivious then as she was now to the way Thorin was looking at her. Nor does she notice his slight lean towards her or the softness in his eyes as he watches the lass tend to his wounds. Balin sighed, when the wizard had awoken Thorin earlier and the first thing he did was ask to see Eliana. He was almost desperate to see her and would not listen to Gandalf about his wounds. Balin didn't know what to think when he confronted Eliana for saving him, he almost interceded thinking that Thorin was being unjust and irrational. Balin was completely shocked with the dwarf king pulled Eliana into his arms and asked for forgiveness… he even kissed her! It was on her cheek but it was still shocking… and now this? Balin's brow furrowed, as he watched Thorin lean closer as Eliana wrapped a bandage around his chest. He heard the footsteps to his left and turned to find Dwalin standing there. His eyes were on their king as well and he did not look pleased.

"Hello brother," Balin said as he looked up at the imposing dwarf standing beside him. Dwalin merely grunted in response and nodded briskly.

"A word?" he said with a sharp tone. Balin sighed, he knew what this discussion was going to be about. He pulled his aching body off the bench and followed his brother outside. They walked down the stairs and out onto the plateau away from the others. Balin hobbled behind his younger brother, his hips and shoulder getting more painful by the minute. He was relieved with Dwalin finally stopped and turned.

"Do you see how he's acting?" Dwalin said abruptly.

"Aye I see it…" he admitted, of course he's seen it… you have to be blind to miss the looks Thorin was giving his nephew's wife.

"Nothing good is going to come from this," Dwalin growled as he started to pace. Balin couldn't agree more with his brother.

"It could pass… we've seen men that survive terrible events cling to things of the past or loved ones," he suggested. "He maybe just overextending his gratitude." Dwalin snorted.

"You know as well as I do he's been in love with the elf lass long before Erebor fell… he just couldn't admit it to himself," Dwalin said as he shook his head. "Now it looks like he's finally realized it… You need to talk to him. See if you can get him to see reason," his brother told him. Balin shook his head and held his hand up.

"No… he won't listen to me, I'll be wasting my time. Thorin is not one you can reason with if he's got it in his head that he wants something… or someone," he said with regret as he continued to shake his head.

"And what's going to happen when Fili sees his uncle ogling his wife? The lad was about ready to take him on in that cave… we don't need a feud brother. Not now… not when we've got this chance to reclaim Erebor," Dwalin said, his voice a mixture of anger and worry. He was right… they had a fair chance to retake their home, this could cause the quest to fall apart.

"Fili knows…" he admitted. "He picked up on it shortly after we left the Shire… and Thorin confronted him on the eve of the wedding to call it off…" Dwalin looked at him in shock.

"Why did I not know this?" he demanded. Balin shrugged and looked away.

"I thought after the wedding Thorin would finally get it through his thick skull that Eliana was a lost cause…" he said with a sigh, Dwalin gave him a disbelieving look. "Well he seemed better for a while… how was I to anticipate her saving him from Azog?" he grumbled. Dwalin stopped pacing and stared at the valley below them.

"You need to talk to him brother… if you don't this quest will fail," he turned and gave Balin a grim stare. "Without Fili there is are no elves to help us kill Smaug… without unity, Dain can walk in with his army and take everything if we are fighting amongst ourselves. Thorin is the rightful king, no one but Fili can challenge that since he is his heir. Fili has the allies, a pregnant wife and Dis… if he wanted to Thorin will never sit on the throne. If that happens we will be so splintered Dain can challenge us by force… we could end up in a civil war," Balin found himself reluctantly nodding, everything Dwalin said was true… Thorin needs to rein in his affections. He was glad Fili and Kili were still bathing or things could have blown up just moments ago. Damn it Thorin, he thought… if he would have listen to him all those years ago she would probably be married to him and not his nephew.

"Alright… I will try, doubt he'll listen but I will try," Balin said with a cynical tone. Dwalin clasped him on the shoulder and nodded.

"Let's get back before something happens," his brother said as he started to briskly wall back to the stairs. Balin groaned as he tried to match his brother's pace, the aches were far worse now than before. He glanced up the stairs and sighed miserably before he started to haul himself up them.

ooOoo

Dwalin left him before they entered the commons area to go bathe leaving Balin to seek out Thorin and attempt to get him see reason. He lumbered down the short hallway and was met by the sound of giggling and laughter.

"… then what happened?" he heard the elf lass Laurwyn ask excitedly.

"Then Rundor's beard when up in flames… we managed to get it out before his eyebrows and hair caught on fire," Thorin said with a laugh. "It took us two days to find Kili and Fili after that… they were terrified over what Dis would do to them. Needless to say, Rundor didn't try to court Dis after that…" he said as he smiled at the elf women. "The house smelled of burnt hair for weeks!" The lass' were laughing so hard they were in tears over Thorin's tale… Balin forgot how charming Thorin could be and he always did tell a good story… in recent decades he had grown quite grim, it was extremely rare to see this side of him. Eliana wiped a tear from her eye as she continued to laugh, she walked over and used the ladle to fill a cup from the big pot she had brewing over the fire pit. She crushed some herbs in it and then stirred it before handing it to Thorin.

"I always wondered why Dis never remarried after Brandr's death… willful sons with firebombs would explain it," Eliana said with a thoughtfully chuckle as she checked Thorin's bandages. When she stood she noticed him by the entranceway and waved him over. "Balin! You're next," Eliana said as she walked over to a basin and washed her hands. Laurwyn pulled up a chair for him to sit in, giving him a warm smile and patted the seat. Balin sighed with a smile as he walked to his seat next to Thorin. He noticed Thorin holding the cup Eliana had given him to his nose, he had a distant look to his eyes as he sipped the tea.

"It has been a while since I've had your spiced tea…" Thorin said quietly as his eyes met Eliana's. Balin caught the brief exchanged between the two. Eliana frowned slightly and turned away to grab a small brown bottle and a clean cloth.

"I hope you still like it… this batch has herbs in it that will help with pain," she said as she pulled a stool up next to Balin. Eliana turned and smiled at the aching dwarf, "Ok show me your wounds and tell me what hurts," she said as she looked him over for any obvious issues.

"I only have a few scratches… what I really need is something for my achy joints lass," he said, wincing occasionally as Eliana prodded his shoulders and back. Eliana cleaned the small wounds before grabbing a cup and headed to the pot. She mixed in some more herbs into the tea before handing him the cup.

"Just take it easy for a couple days… I'll leave tea out here brewing with some herbs for pain mixed in for you and the others to drink. Just let me know if the pain gets worse… both of you," she said to him and Thorin. More dwarves started filing into the room, Kili and Fili were among them. He watched Thorin's jaw clench as he looked away when Fili embraced and lovingly kissed his wife. Balin frowned… best talk to him now and get it over with. He pulled himself up and groaned slightly as his muscles protested, this drew Eliana's attention. She pulled away from Fili and came to his side and helped him straighten. "I think you two should finish your tea and get some sleep… can you make it back to your rooms?"

"We'll be fine lass… come on Thorin, we best get out of the way. These lads are next… I'll walk with you," Balin said as he gestured towards the hallway. Thorin nodded, he started to stand and winced, Eliana was quickly at his side helping him stand.

"Careful," she said, her voice full of concern. "Just go slow…" she said as she put her arm around him and started to walk him back towards the area where the rooms were. Thorin put his arm around her shoulders to steady himself, Eliana looked back at Fili and smiled. "I'll be right back…" she called. Balin walked next to them gritting his teeth, he had a suspicion that Thorin didn't need any assistance and was just taking advantage of Eliana's compassion… she would always help those in need. When they made it back to the room she helped him sit down on the small bed and checked his bandages again, Thorin seemed to revel in the attention he was getting from her. His mood was light and his smile genuine as he answered her questions… it was obvious he enjoyed being that close to her. When Eliana was happy none of his wounds reopened, she let them know that she would have their dinners brought to their rooms before she took her leave. After Balin made sure Eliana was gone he closed the door and gave the dwarf king a disapproving look.

"What are you doing Thorin? Why the sudden change where Eliana is concerned?" he asked trying to keep his tone even. Thorin glanced up at him and gestured to the chair as he took a sip of his tea. Balin sat down and gave Thorin an expectant look.

"She saved me…" he said quietly. "I truly had no hope… when the white Warg had me in its mouth I thought my life was over… I blacked out and when I awoke Eliana was there facing down Azog. I have never seen her fight like that…" he turned and looked at Balin, his eyes were full of sadness and longing. "She was so fierce… so beautiful… a goddess," he said softly as he looked back down at his cup of tea. "I thought I was dreaming but I wasn't… she was really there and she was fighting for me." Balin frowned as he listened to Thorin but he said nothing… not yet. "Then I blacked out again, the next time I awoke I saw the pale orc grab her cloak and pull her down, it was on top of her… she cried out and fought," he looked up at Balin, his eyes were full of anguish. "I tried to get up to help her… I couldn't let him take her, but when I sat up there was a blinding pain and everything went dark again." He looked away, his eyes were haunted as he remembered what happened earlier.

"Somehow she managed to get away…" Balin said quietly, from the way Thorin described it he wondered how she managed to escape the orc… Eliana was resourceful but from the tone of Thorin's voice it made it seem like escape was impossible. Thorin snorted angrily.

"Aye… with no help from me. She risked everything to protect me and I was unable to help her. I owe her my life," he said adamantly. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, Balin knew this was more than Thorin just feeling indebted to Eliana… he just didn't know the right way to bring it up. Thorin took another drink of his tea and smiled fondly. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had her spiced tea?" Balin shook his head. "One hundred and seventy-five years… for a few months back then we use to be fairly close… we would talk about everything and nothing at the same time," he chuckled softly. "Every time we'd talk she use to make us a pot of spiced tea… I've missed this," he said, his brow was furrowed as he stared at his cup.

"I remember that time… quite well actually," Balin said pensively as he looked at Thorin. "I remember giving you some advice back then…" Thorin continued to stare down at his cup.

"Aye I remember it… and I wished I would have listened. I was a fool… no I am still a fool, that hasn't changed. If I would have listen to you I could have had what I desired most… we could have been happy, everything would have turned out differently," he said, his voice full of regret. "Instead my pride ruled me, I wouldn't admit it but I was afraid that she would reject me. Now I know that she wouldn't have… she cared…" he said miserably. "I thought she didn't, Eliana seemed to distance herself from me, something had changed and I grew so angry… so resentful… I lashed out and I couldn't stop." Balin remembered that and he knew why Eliana had pulled away from Thorin… after Dis had persuaded her to consider her brother for more than friendship and convinced her that Thorin had feelings for her, Eliana went to see him. That happened to be the same night Thorin had taken a notorious women from court back to his rooms. Balin had talked to Eliana after she returned from his rooms. She was embarrassed and hurt, more than anything she was angry at herself. Eliana had told him that it was foolish of her to think anyone could love her. He never understood how she could think of herself as so unworthy and undesirable… there wasn't a warm blooded dwarf male in Erebor that wouldn't have given their weight in gold for her affections. Now that he knew about how she had been treated by the elves, specifically Thranduil he understood why she felt that way.

"It hurt her when you treated her so poorly…" Balin noted quietly.

"I know and I just kept doing it…" Thorin said ashamed. "It was just so much easier to be angry than feel the loss I felt when she no longer sought my company. After Smaug I needed her, I felt she was the only one that could take the pain away… then she left. Eliana abandoned us… she had left me for the Iron Hills with the refugees… I tried to hate her, it was just easier… especially after she refused to help with Azanulbizar. I realize now that she couldn't come, Dain had Eliana bound by that contract but back then I felt so betrayed," he said as he looked up at Balin with eyes full of pain and regret. "I tried to forget about her, I couldn't… I still can't," he said shaking his head. "I love her Balin… I could never admit it before but I always have." He felt his pity surge for the desperate dwarf before him… but only for a moment then it quickly changed to wariness.

"You know she can never be yours? She may care but her heart belongs to your nephew…" he said cautiously. Thorin looked away dejected and slowly nodded.

"I know… but I can't help what I feel," Thorin said quietly. Balin frowned.

"You cannot act on these feelings Thorin! You risk everything! Fili is your heir, you cannot alienate him… if you do we will never reclaim Erebor." Thorin looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. Balin felt himself becoming frustrated and angry. "Eliana will never return your feelings… you must know that? For Durin's sake Thorin, she carries Fili's child in her womb!" he said sharply. The dwarf king brought his hand up and rubbed his brow.

"You think I don't know that? I know all of this… yet I can't get her out of my mind… or my heart. I don't know what to do Balin… When she saved me it changed something inside of me… inside of my heart. Perhaps she would have been better off just letting me die," he said as he looked up with tormented eyes. Balin was taken aback by Thorin's comments.

"You can't mean that…" Balin said as he stared at Thorin in shock. "Look we're all exhausted… the past two days have been brutal. I think you need to get some rest… your head will be clearer tomorrow," he told Thorin. He wasn't thinking straight, Balin thought. The dwarf king nodded and finished his tea before laying down on the small bed.

"And what if it isn't?" he asked his old friend. Balin pulled himself up from the chair and gave the dwarf king a somber stare before pulling open the door.

"We'll deal with it… get some sleep Thorin," Balin said with a sigh as he left his room. With a frown he started down the hallway towards his brother's room, this was worse than either of them had thought.

ooOoo