Reviews

simplyaprillyn – Your reviews always put a smile on my face. Thanks girl!

Tpassions – Thanks for reading!

Talz – Peyton blowing Brooke off is obviously not great, especially when Brooke has had Peyton's back while she's been going through all of this. You'll have to keep reading to see if those two can get back on track.

secondstarontheright – It's funny because now that things are finally going great for Lucas and Peyton, everyone else around them seems to have hit this rough spot (Naley & Brooke with Peyton). Can't wait for you to read what I have planned in these upcoming chapters.

Guest – Well first off thank you so much for reading and following this story since the very beginning, which was over a year ago now! And of course thanks so much for taking the time to review for the first time. It's really wonderful to hear how this story has touched you and relates to your own personal experience so thanks for sharing that. I know this is fan fiction and all, but I still wanted to develop a story that was for the most part relatable and somewhat believable. So I guess I'm doing something right! Thanks again and I do hope you'll review again and share your thoughts. I look forward to it.

Chilarie07 – Yup! I'm glad you caught on to that little subtle bit of Peyton's maternal nature with Lydia, while vocally expressing her fears of being a mother with Lucas at the same time. Before her accident Peyton had a very close relationship with both Lydia and Jamie, hence the strong emotional connection she feels towards them even though she can't quite understand it.

Annie – And you're back with double reviews, lol! Leyton being all cute and adorable has been sweet to write. Glad you enjoyed the proposal, it's so cheesy Leyton and I love it!

Destiana. Caldin – I loved it when Peyton blurted out yes to Luke's second proposal on the show, so I kind of totally need to throw that in there because it was adorable.

thibbs65 – It's not so much as Nathan putting his family on the backburner, but more about Naley trying to find that balance between home and work life, which makes it a lot more difficult when you don't exactly have a normal job. Thanks so much for reading!

jordana60 – It's hard for Haley because she's always been fine with putting Nathan and his career first, but after seven years of him playing professionally she's just at a point where she's exhausted by the situation and she no longer wants to go through the motions. But obviously she doesn't want her husband to give up his career either. It just sucks all around. And yes I agree season five's Haley did have many unlikeable moments.

ArTiStAtHlEtE – Welcome to the story! I absolutely love it when new binge readers come on the scene.

DeTurge – Aww thanks!

Mufc87 – You're so sweet, thanks!

A/N: Fair warning, this chapter kicks off with a little smut, so skip on ahead if that's not your thing.

Chapter 38: It Ain't Always So Clear-Cut

Tree Hill, North Carolina - February 2015

Lucas hissed loudly as he felt Peyton change the direction of her hips as she rotated them against his. "Right there babe. Keep going." He heavily panted against her lips, urging her to continue as the pressure inside of him continued to build.

Peyton matched the rapid pace of his breath, softly moaning Lucas' name when his tongue briefly swiped over hers as she continued to ride him. She pulled back from his face moving to sit straight up over his hips, while placing her hands over his chest allowing Peyton to hold herself steady as she increased the pace of her hips.

Lucas' hands fell over her waist as he assisted in guiding her up and down while he was deep inside of her. He observed the way her eyes tightly shut as she bit down hard on her bottom lip. The look of pure ecstasy on her face as her head fell back let him know that Peyton was almost there. One of his hands deserted her waist, sliding down her stomach and reaching in between them. She groaned in approval the second his fingers made contact with her clit. Her hips vigorously jerked against his hand as she chased after her release, while her inner walls began to tightly contract around his throbbing member. It didn't take long for her to explode around him, her lungs gasping for air, while her body fell forward and her damp forehead made contact with his chest.

She immediately placed open-mouthed kisses over his chest with her tongue licking across his skin every so often. The pace of her hips had slowed down into long lazy strokes while she recovered from the high of her orgasm. Peyton felt one of Lucas' hands glide down to grip her ass, firmly keeping her hips in place over his before proceeding to flip them over. As soon as her back hit the mattress he was thrusting into her hard, burying himself even deeper. Peyton cried out from the intense pressure and her hands reached for Lucas' face, tugging him near hers until their lips met. When their lips broke for some much needed air, Lucas had buried his face against the crook of her neck, his mouth grunting and his teeth nipping against her skin while he continued to move inside of her.

Peyton's hands had traveled south, down Lucas' back until she reached her destination. Her fingers dug into his ass, pressing into him every time he pressed into her, while her hips eagerly lifted up to meet his powerful thrusts. Between their shared moaning Peyton managed to focus long enough to lick her lips and settle them again his ear. She wasn't anywhere as gifted as Lucas was with his dirty talk, but over the course of these last few weeks since they started sleeping together Peyton had picked up on a few choice words that really got him going during sex. The effect was practically immediate as Peyton felt the large hand over her hip tighten almost painfully as she continued to spew words in Lucas' ear, telling him how much she loved the feel of him against her and how she loved it even more when he lost all control when he was inside of her. She begged him to give into his release as her walls repeatedly tightened around his manhood.

The movement of their bodies rolling against one another increased. She had stopped whispering in his ear, her mind unable to focus on anything other than the pleasure he continued to give her. The moans that escaped her parted lips combined with the hands that clutched on to Lucas' body for dear life were the only responses her brain could manage in this moment. She came apart for the second time when she dipped her own hand between them and Lucas followed closely behind.

"God you're amazing." Lucas panted out. His lips slowly made their way across her chest before he eventually lifted his head back up to look down at her. "I can't believe how good you fucking feel every single time. It's incredible. You're incredible. Sometimes I still can't believe that you're all mine. God I love you. "

Peyton smiled closing the gap between their lips as she felt those little butterflies take over her stomach, just like they did every time Lucas told her that he loved her. It always got her heart racing and her head dizzy in the best possible way. "I'm yours." She mumbled against their kiss, slightly sighing from the feel of him still throbbing inside of her. She wasn't ready to repeat those three little words back to him, but hopefully the reassurance that she was his would be enough to hold Lucas over for now. At least she prayed it was and Lucas hadn't given any other indication otherwise.

Lucas rolled over to his side relieving Peyton from the pressure of his weight. He threw an arm over her as she relaxed into his side and their lips reconnected like magnets.

"Omelets for breakfast?" Lucas suggested in-between the slow and tortuous kisses Peyton was currently delivering.

Peyton quickly nodded. "Yes please." She loved his omelets.

"I think I'm gonna go shower first." His fingers danced against her left hip. "You should join me." He boldly suggested with his lips pressed up against her sternum at this point.

The blonde instantly giggled knowing exactly where this was heading. "Again? Already?" Against her bare thigh she could feel that he was starting to harden once more.

"I just have to have you again." Lucas quietly moaned when her thigh slightly shifted and brushed up against his length. "Hurry up let's go." He roughly commanded.

"Lucas!" She chuckled refusing to move. She needed a minute to cool off first.

"What?" He sent her an innocent looking pout. "The faster we get going, the faster I can bend you over that shower."

Her face heated up at the delicious thought.

Lucas smirked and then began to whisper huskily in her ear. "Don't act like you don't like it when I have my way with you. You practically beg me for it every single time." His hand left the comfort of her hip and pushed itself between her legs. "You like it when I'm in control. Don't you baby?"

"Yes." Peyton managed to pant out while his hand continued its exploration.

"Shower." He told her once more.

She nodded enthusiastically clearly on board now. "Okay." She kissed him deeply. "I just need a minute."

"Alright." Lucas tore his hand away from her center causing Peyton to pout. "I'll go start the shower." He kissed her again. "Don't keep me waiting too long okay?" He teased.

She smiled and nodded again.

"I need you baby."

"I'll join you in a minute." Peyton promised as she watched Lucas climb out of their bed and exit the bedroom in all his glory. When he was gone Peyton raised her arms over her head, stretching out her entire body. The blonde smiled to herself as she thought about Lucas this morning and how she had woken up to him all positively hot and bothered, and horny for her. She had barely been able to mumble out a good morning before he was all over her.

Peyton sat up reaching for her phone on the nightstand beside the bed. She picked up the phone and her eyes widened in horror. "Shit, shit, shit!" She cried out as she looked at the time and saw the dozen or so missed calls and texts from Brooke. "Dammit! Fuck me." Peyton jumped out of bed and began rummaging through the closet for clothes to wear. She was supposed to meet up with Brooke over two hours ago. They had rescheduled their baby shopping extravaganza date for today after Peyton had forgotten last week. She had woken up early this morning too in anticipation, not wanting to let Brooke down again. How the hell had her and Lucas been fooling around in bed for this long? Sure they'd had sex a few times this morning, but how was it this late already?

Brooke was going to kill her.

Peyton had just arrived at Brooke's waiting for someone to answer the door. She had driven first past the baby store, already knowing that the brunette would probably be long gone by then, and of course she was right, Brooke's car had been nowhere in sight. After that Peyton had headed straight to the house figuring that was probably her best bet. Brooke's car was parked out front, a good sign that she was home, but had yet to answer the door and her numerous calls to Brooke's phone had remained unanswered. There was a lot of groveling to be done and Peyton had brought lots of ice cream with her as backup – just in case.

The blonde raised a finger, pressing the doorbell for the third time and again there was zero moment behind the door. Leaving wasn't really an option at this point – things had been weird enough between them lately – and she knew the blame mostly fell on her. This time Peyton raised her fist, endlessly pounding on the door. She wasn't going anywhere and she was making sure Brooke got the message loud and clear. A minute later the door swung open catching Peyton off guard and she almost hit Brooke square in the chest with her pounding fist.

Peyton gulped.

Brooke was not happy. The scowl on her face was proof enough. "Peyton." She greeted the blonde coldly with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Hi." Peyton replied rather timidly.

"I'm busy."

"Listen I know we were supposed to meet up…"

Brooke cut her off. "Well that's funny that you decided to meet me here considering we were supposed to meet up three hours ago at the baby store."

Peyton sighed. "I know and I'm sorry about that. It was never my intention to stand you up."

"Twice." Brooke corrected through gritted teeth.

Another sigh escaped the blonde. "Twice." She really should have brought more ice cream. "Ice cream?" Peyton held up the bag, while sending Brooke a hopeful look that reeked of desperation.

One of Brooke's perfectly shaped eyebrows rose as she eyed the shopping bag full of ice cream containers. "Really? Bribery? Not your best trick." She questioned in disbelief, though truth be told she did want the damn ice cream. Her pregnancy cravings were on another level these days and she was this close from snatching the bag from Peyton's boney fingers. She had finished off the last of the ice cream in her freezer the night before.

"I'm sorry about earlier Brooke." Peyton apologized once more.

"Yea you said that already." Brooke grumbled. "What's your excuse for forgetting this time?"

"I didn't forget!" Peyton quickly replied. She honestly hadn't. She had just gotten...distracted.

A look of skepticism crossed Brooke's features.

"Honestly! I didn't forget." Peyton defended.

"Then what happened?"

Peyton frowned slightly, her teeth tugged at her bottom lip. Well this was about to get awkward. "I...overslept." She replied settling on that answer.

Brooke's hazel eyes rolled over before speaking dryly. "You overslept? Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

They'd been best friends for most of their lives which made Brooke a pro at knowing when Peyton wasn't being truthful.

"I was! I was in bed!" Technically she had been in bed the whole time.

Brooke snorted clearly not falling for it. "Have a nice day Peyton." She told the blonde as she moved to shut the front door.

"Okay, okay, okay." Peyton hissed as her arm shot out to prevent Brooke from closing the door.

A small look of satisfaction grazed the brunette's face. "Alright then, let's hear it."

"I lost track of time." Peyton finally admitted.

"Doing what?"

Peyton blew out a breath. Since New Years everyone had been taunting her and Lucas' inability to keep their hands off each other as of late. She couldn't believe she was about to admit this out loud. She would never hear the end of this. "Having sex." She quietly mumbled.

"I'm sorry what was that? I didn't quite hear you there." Brooke playfully mocked.

Peyton frowned fairly certain her friend had heard her just fine the first time. "I was busy having sex okay!"

Brooke scoffed rolling her eyes once more. "Christ don't you two ever come up for air? I mean Lucas can't have that many tricks up his sleeve." She snatched the bag of ice cream from Peyton and went back inside her house.

Peyton followed suit and closed the door behind her. Brooke was already in the kitchen putting the ice cream away with the exception of the one container she left out. She grabbed a spoon and joined Peyton on the couch.

"You don't get any." Brooke announced as she greedily spooned out another bite of ice cream. She hadn't pulled out an extra spoon for Peyton. "I'm still mad at you."

"Fair enough." Peyton replied knowing well enough not to get in between a pregnant Brooke and her dessert. "Where's Julian?"

"He flew down to Atlanta for the day for a meeting. He's in talks about possibly directing a couple of episodes of The Walking Dead next year."

"It's a show about the zombie apocalypse." Brooke immediately explained noticing the blank look Peyton gave. "It's a huge opportunity for Julian. It's the highest rated show on cable television right now."

Peyton nodded. "Oh. Good for him then, that's great."

"Thanks." Brooke replied while she continued to work on her ice cream.

Peyton awkwardly shifted in her seat as she placed her hands on her lap. The room had turned silent after that and the blonde couldn't help but think how weird and tense it felt between the two women. This was pretty much the first time her and Brooke were hanging out solo since the Bakers had moved back. It was obvious that Brooke was still peeved with her, otherwise they would have quickly fallen into a comfortable conversation, as they usually did and not this long and awkward lull of emptiness.

"Hey it's still early, we can go and check out the store if you still want." Peyton offered. Perhaps things would be less awkward if they actively moved around instead of just sitting here.

"No thanks." Brooke said politely. "When you didn't show up again today, I just went ahead and started shopping. I pretty much picked up everything I wanted."

Peyton's face fell. "Oh, sorry."

Brooke curtly nodded.

"Get anything good?"

"Yea I did. I guess I can show you if you want." Brooke offered though she highly doubted Peyton was really all that interested in checking out the baby clothes she'd purchased. Truth be told Peyton hadn't taken much of an interest in her pregnancy.

"Sure."

"C'mon it's in the babies' nursery."

Peyton followed her inside the room. The room was still a work in progress. There were boxes scattered everywhere, but Peyton noticed that the walls had been freshly painted and decorated. "It's looking good." She commented.

Brooke nodded looking around. "It's coming along. Nathan and Haley helped us paint it over the weekend."

"Oh. I didn't know that." A long beat. "You should have asked us too, Lucas and I would have helped."

"I didn't ask them." Brooke corrected. "They just kind of showed up and offered since I couldn't really help Julian much. All the paint fumes make me dizzy."

"Oh."

This just kept getting awkward.

"Well we can definitely help you guys put together all this baby furniture." Peyton quickly offered noticing the unopened box containing the crib, as well as other items that appeared to need assembling. She knew she needed to make it up to Brooke, but there was also that pang of jealousy that had crept up knowing that Haley and Nathan were making her look bad.

"We could use the help." Brooke admitted. There were still a lot of things that needed to be put together. "I'll talk to Julian, figure out a good time."

After sort of making up with Brooke, Peyton returned home a couple of hours later. Things between them were still weird, but at least they were on speaking terms. Hopefully the awkwardness would pass once they started spending more time together again.

She was already feeling emotionally exhausted from her time with Brooke, only to return home and be welcomed by an equally pissed off Lucas. In her rushed panic to see Brooke this morning, Peyton had forgotten her phone and had failed to check in with Lucas. He had come into the bedroom searching for her only to be met with an empty house and no clue as to where his wife had disappeared off to. She really couldn't blame him for being upset with her. Though to be honest Peyton couldn't quite figure out if Lucas was more upset because she had disappeared without a trace, causing him to worry, or if it was because she had unintentionally left him high and dry in the shower. She had a sneaky suspicion it was the latter based on the fact that when she had question Lucas on it he appeared absolutely baffled for a moment before shrugging off the notion.

Regardless Lucas got over his annoyed state fairly quickly after Peyton had managed to sweet talk him after she had explained the situation with Brooke.

"Does that feel any better?"

"It feels amazing baby." Lucas replied, releasing a steady groan as Peyton's hands continued to work him over.

She was sitting behind him in the living room massaging his back trying to rid him of a knot that had formed right below his shoulder blades. Peyton placed a kiss over the top of his left shoulder, followed by another one over the side of his neck. She sucked down hard on his neck, while her hands continued to work across his back.

Lucas' eyes shut and he released a comfortable sigh. "This is pay back for LA isn't it?" He teased with a huge grin remembering the huge mark he had left behind on her neck and Peyton had been less than pleased.

"Hmmm I have no idea what you're talking about." Peyton coyly responded before biting down hard on his neck. Eventually she abandoned his neck, her lips taking residence at the back of his earlobe instead.

"You owe me a shower." He told her a few minutes later still lost in all the attention he was receiving from her perfectly shaped lips.

Peyton chuckled, her warm breath hitting the spot of skin directly behind his ear. Well that confirmed her suspicions. "I knew it." She whispered. "You are such a guy." She teased him.

"I have needs." He shot back playfully. "Needs you are expected to take care of as my wife."

Peyton laughed again. "Oh is that so?"

"It's in the vows sweetheart." Lucas quickly added making her laugh again.

She silently shook her head while sporting a big smile. Her lips came up to his ear once more. "Well I am due for a shower." She told him in a low voice.

"Oh you don't say?"

"And I think I might need some help getting to those hard to reach places, make sure I'm squeaky clean and all."

Lucas swallowed hard."Oh I can definitely assist you with that." He eagerly stated. "I've been told numerous times that I'm very good with my hands. You will not be disappointed."

"Oh yea by who?"

"My wife."

"Oh you have a wife now?" The blonde feigned her shock.

"Yea, but don't worry she won't mind me lending you a hand or two."

Peyton broke out in laughter. "Well she's far too trusting." She replied through giggles, barely able to hold up this charade any longer.

"Don't you bad mouth my wife." Lucas playfully scolded.

Peyton laughed again, running her hands over Lucas' back one last time. "Go start the shower honey." Her lips fell over his neck again.

"Not a chance. You're coming with. I'm not letting you out of my sight this time."

Before Peyton knew it she was no longer sitting and let out a loud squeal as Lucas' effortlessly tossed her body over his shoulder, both of them laughing as he hurriedly ran them over to the bathroom.

"So tell me why you decided to come in today Peyton? Our next scheduled session isn't for another two weeks."

Peyton nodded as she looked over at Maya, her new therapist. For some reason she preferred to be addressed by her first name and frankly Peyton kind of liked that they had ditched the formalities. It made talking to Maya a lot more comfortable and less stressful. She had been recommended by Peyton's previous therapist in New York. Along with a new therapist, she had also been referred to another doctor in Charlotte by Dr. Parker for all her other follow-up appointments. She and Lucas had been at the doctor's yesterday and had been given the clear that Peyton's body was still healing nicely, all according to plan. The lack of returning memories had been the only downside, but at this point the couple had made their piece with that. It didn't change anything for them. They were both happy and committed to moving forward. Peyton realized that as time went on and her relationship with Lucas continued to strengthen, those lost memories seemed to matter less and less. They were forming new memories now and they were pretty incredible ones in her opinion. She couldn't get enough of Lucas. She was in so deep that it probably borderlined on obsession. This was the healthiest, strongest, and not to mention happiest relationship she had ever been in, and even better was the fact that Lucas was all hers for the rest of her life. Peyton had to give herself a pat on the back for this one. Marrying Lucas was probably one of the best decisions she had ever made – even if she couldn't remember it.

"Umm yea, sure, okay…" The blonde's gaze dropped down to her hands as she anxiously played with her fingers. "Lucas and I had a conversation the other week. We were spending the day with his brother's kids and then we ended up talking about us having kids someday."

"And do you feel like you're ready to be a mother?"

"No!" Peyton said quickly. She paused. "I mean I dunno…" She eventually added with a shrug. "At least not now."

"And Lucas?"

"He wants them and he also said that I did too. That we were planning on trying to get pregnant this coming summer and honestly it kind of freaked me out a bit."

"Did you talk to him about that?"

"He could tell. He's always good at picking up on my emotions before I even utter a word, but the thing is that I'm kinda starting to pick up on his cues too. He told me that we don't have to decide right now about the kid thing, but I can tell that he wants them. He wants them so badly. I see the way he watches his brother with his kids. Lucas wants what they have and I'd love to think I would be able to give him that someday, but it's just so…hard seeing myself there. It's difficult to picture it."

"What is it that freaks you out about it? Why do you struggle with seeing yourself as mother one day? Is it because your husband still feels like a stranger to you?"

"No, not at all. Lucas feels like…he feels like home. Sure I'm still getting to know him, but he's far from a stranger at this point. He's the most familiar thing I have in my life right now. It's just scary to think about being a mom. I'm an only child, I barely had enough time with my own moms, and my dad was away a lot for work growing up. I don't think I'd be very good at it, the whole parenting thing. I mean I look at my best friend Brooke who's pregnant and I feel…nothing. She looks beautiful, and she's glowing, and she looks really happy, and there's not the slightest maternal instinct kicking inside of me yearning for any of that. And the worst part is that I can't even talk to her about any of this because I don't wanna rain on her parade. She's in a good place and apparently had a few bad years trying to get pregnant. And Lucas is just so confident that I'll change my mind eventually, but what if he's wrong? What would that mean for us down the road?"

"You're afraid of losing him." Maya concluded.

"No." Peyton shook her head. "Lucas…he's just the kind of guy that would accept it and try to move forward because that's how much I know he loves me. I could be selfish right now and say I never want kids and Lucas would just…be there for me…no matter what. I just wonder if he would secretly resent me for it, but honestly the kid part isn't even our biggest issue."

"And what is then?"

"I have a wonderful husband that loves me unconditionally and I haven't been able to get there yet. Every single time Lucas tells me that he loves me and I don't say it back, I can just tell how much it pains him and I feel so guilty. I care about Lucas so much, but I've only known him for three months. My heart just doesn't work that fast. I don't want anyone else but him, and don't get me wrong I'm falling for him more and more each and every day, but…it still scares me giving my heart away to someone new. I've had a lot of people come in and out of my life. I get close to them, and I trust them, and then they just up and leave and never come back. I don't want to love Lucas only to lose him later on and that's kind of my dilemma here." Peyton sighed loudly. "If I don't allow myself to love Lucas completely then I'll lose him. And if I do love him then knowing my luck I'll probably lose him too."

"You don't know that for sure. You're letting your insecurities guide you again."

Peyton blew out a chuckle. "Trust me. My life has never been easy and clear-cut. Something always comes along and fucks things up. People always leave."

I know this chapter was a little on the short side this time, but it just felt natural to end it there. I hope you guys enjoyed it all the same. Please review and let me know!

Until next time.