Dry your tears chapter 38

No p.o.v

"Don't. Just don't", Amy mumbled as she shifted away from Shadow's touch. The too cold, air conditioned hotel room couldn't compare to the deep chills she was feeling. Shadow had, by force thanks to Xander's mouth, told Amy the true intentions of her aunt Jackie. She was in a place beyond reach at the moment. Shadow sighed in frustration, glaring at Xander. Xander crossed his arms in defense.

"She had a right to know."

Shadow growled. "It wasn't your place to tell her."

"And I suppose it was yours?", Xander scoffed.

Shadow shook his head and began circling the hotel room. There was more to this that he couldn't place his finger on. "Xander's apartment was blown up...attempted murder. Murder...murder!" Shadow snaps his fingers. She had also attempted to murder Cream.

"The bunny must have told you some information didn't she? I was right to sneak back into her room and pull the plug on one of the machines supporting her breathing. I hope she's dead..."

Shadow walks toward the hotel door. Xander rolls his eyes. "Where are you off to now?"

"The hospital", Shadow grunts. He then looks to Amy who is still balled up shaking. "You touch her, you die."

Hospital (No p.o.v)

Cream hummed a soft tune as she wrote yet another poem in her worn out journal. Her poems were always of happy things. Bees and sunshine. Summer and bubbles. Anything to keep her mind off of her condition. She had quite the scare the other night. But she was alright now. At least that's what she believed. What she wanted to believe.

She remembered Amy's scream. She dreamed about that scream more times than she could count. She'd always try reaching out to Amy, but she'd always get further and further away. Each time the dream would end with Cream drowning in a sea of blood. She shivers. "I'm alright, Amy...I promise."

"Knock knock."

Cream looked over at an unfamiliar nurse with a clipboard. They were always different. They always changed. "You have a visitor", she says with a warm smile. Cream perks up. It was Amy. It had to be. She flung the covers off of her legs and swung them over to the floor. The nurse stumbled forward quickly. "You shouldn't be standing Ms. Cream. I'll-"

"No. I'm fine. I'd like to sit up please. Who's my visitor?"

The nurse looks back at the doorway skeptically. "Please come in sir."

Cream's heart skips a beat as Shadow steps in. Her mouth parts a bit, but with nothing to say. She signals that the nurse can leave. She closes the door behind her quietly. Shadow steps over to Cream with his arms crossed. "I need information."

Cream tilts her head. "Most people begin a conversation with 'Hello. How are you?'"

Shadow's lips twist uncomfortably. "Hello. I need information."

"This is awkward. Where's Amy?"

"In danger if you don't give me the information I need. No, it's not a threat from me. It's her aunt. You know something about her. Or else she wouldn't have tried to take you out."

Cream's head begins to spin. She rubs her temples roughly. "Jackie...always Jackie."

"Look", Shadow says rather forcefully. "What do you know about her? I can't help Amy without you."

Cream shifts uncomfortably back under her covers. "She was the reason Amy's parents died. Which I'm sure you've already found out. But it was more than a car accident. There was a time, a long time ago, when I stumbled upon their death certificates. It said they had died of bullet wounds. Bullet wounds...car accident...two different things. Jackie told me it was better not to tell Amy. She told me i'd hurt her if I told her what really happened. She said she believed it was a set up. I was so stupid." Cream's eyes shoot up to Shadow intently. "Please understand", she begs, "my intentions were never to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. I was fooled."

"Weren't we all", Shadow muttered under his breath. He simply looks away. He believes her. There just wasn't much he could do to comfort her. She did, after all, keep such a meaningful secret from her best friend. He watched solemnly as Cream hugged her knees to her chest and gazed out of the window.

"I love her you know? I'd give my life for her."

"I know", Shadow mutters.

"Xander told her all of it this morning. She-"

"Xander", Cream whispers in shock. "Why would Xander...?"

"A story for another day. The point is, Amy knows about her aunt, but she doesn't know that you knew. I won't tell her. It's not my place."

Cream begins tearing up again. "I can't", she tells herself as she tightens her grip on her knees.

Shadow sighs and decides not to press the issue. "Is there anything else about Jackie that you may know? Anything useful to help me take her down?"

Cream shakes her head. "Nothing that would help you take her down. But I know other things in general."

"I'm listening."

"Jackie was always jealous of Amy's mother. Back when me and Amy were in preschool, I remember multiple occasions when Jackie would attempt to take Amy home with her even though Amy's mom hadn't given her permission to. There was another time..."

"What happened?"

"I doubt you understand the true depth of Amy's depression."

Shadow grunts. "I don't."

Cream sighs and relaxes herself. "Amy has attempted suicide before. Before I was hospitalized, i'd like to believe I saved her life once. It was Christmas eve. One year ago...

Flashback (1 year ago)

No p.o.v

"Said the night wind to the little lamb...do you see what I see?"

Way up in the sky, little lamb...do you see what I see?

A star, a star, dancing in the night...with a tail as big as a kite

With a tail as big as a kite..."

Cream sighed out a cold puff of air as she listened to the carroling of the small children downtown. Everyone had gathered around the grand christmas tree to enjoy festivities and entertainment. She gripped the large, brown bag of groceries to her chest. "Amy would have loved this", she thought to herself. She maneuvered the bag into one arm and pulled out her cellphone. Surveying the texts she had sent to Amy, not a single one of them had been replied to. She sent another one just for safe measure.

" You okay? I'm waiting on you downtown at the tree. You should have been here an hour ago..."

Cream folds her ears in closer over her head in hopes of staying a little warmer. Amy would be here any second. She kept assuring herself that it was probably all a misunderstanding and she was simply running behind schedule. She tapped her foot, not in impatience, but worry for her dear friend. Perhaps she should go check on her to make sure everything was fine. Her ears perked as the children began singing another carol.

"Hark! How the bells...sweet silver bells..all seem to say, throw cares away

Christmas is here, bringing good cheer...to young and old, meek and the bold!

Ding, dong, ding, dong...that is their song

With joyful ring, all caroling! "

Cream shuffled through the large crowd, politely saying 'excuse me' to anyone blocking her path. She pulled out her phone and dialed Amy's number. Her heart sank as it went straight to voicemail. "The battery is just dead", she told herself. "Everything is fine." She twitched her nose as it began to tickle. A snow flake had landed on it. Cream stared up at the sky as more white puffs began to fall down. She felt a deep burning in her stomach, making her eyes water. "I have to go..."

She clutched the groceries tighter as she walked through the city toward the end Amy's complex was located. She hummed cheerful tunes to herself on the long walk. It was all she could do to keep her sanity. Slowly her walk turned into a power walk, which turned into a jog, which turned into a sprint, which turned into a heart burning bolt to Amy's apartment. She ran up the steps, skipping multiple, and kicked the doormat out of the way. She dropped the groceries and fumbled with the key in the lock.

"Amy?!"

Silence.

Cream looked around frantically. Xander was gone and Vera was knocked out on the couch with beer bottles strewn about. She rushed past and went straight for Amy's room. The door was locked. She jangled it roughly, turning her palms bright red. She balled up her fist.

BANG BANG BANG

"AMY?!"

Cream looked back to see Vera still completely sleep. She ran to the kitchen, shuffling through drawers to find something heavy and reliable. There was a hammer under the kitchen sink cabinet. She cursed to herself and ran back to Amy's door. Holding the hammer high above her head, she brought it down on the door knob. It didn't budge, so she did it again and again until it began popping out of its socket. She brought it down for one final blow and then kicked open the door. She froze as she saw drops of blood soaked into the carpet at her feet. She followed the trail to the other side of Amy's bed.

Cream placed a shaking hand over her mouth and mumbled, "oh god".

Amy sat up, knees to her chest, in a half conscious state. Her eyes were drooping as she looked up at Cream. "I couldn't finish...I'm a coward, Cream. I couldn't finish. See?" Amy held her wrists up that were covered with slash marks at so many different angles. The knife she did it with laid idly on her lap. "Why won't it work?" Amy sobbed.

Tears began to stream down Cream's face as she knelt in front of Amy slowly. "Amy...listen to me", she said shakily. " I need to...we need...we need to get you to a hospital-"

"No", Amy said sharply. "No, no, no...Xander will find out...", She was beginning to slur.

Cream reached for the knife but Amy snatched her wrist away from it. "Don't! I have...to fin...ish.."

Cream shook her head and grabbed the knife anyway, but not without maniging to scratch her own fingers first. Amy began to scream. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

"WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO A HOSPITAL", Cream yelled back. She helped Amy to her feet but was shoved roughly out of the way. Amy stumbled to the bathroom and opened the mirrored cabinet, her bloody fingers leaving prints and streaks. She grabbed a random bottle of pills and struggled to open the cap. Cream barged in behind her and tried taking the bottle. Amy screamed and they began wrestling.

The bottle slipped and pills flew everywhere. Amy fell to her knees sobbing and began picking pills up and placing them in her mouth. Cream yelled for her to stop but to no avail Amy would not. Cream grabbed Amy's cheeks forcefully.

"Spit them out! NOW!"

Amy cried a deep guttural cry. She held herself tightly and began rocking back and forth. "You did this...you did this, you did this, you did this. Why won't you just let me die? LET ME DIE!"

Cream cried as she began dragging Amy into the living room. She pulled out her cellphone and began to call 9-11. Amy's screams made it hard for Cream to hear the operator.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency? "

"I have a friend who needs an ambulance right away. She's attempted suicide and i'm afraid she'll bleed to death. Please hurry!"

"Okay ma'am. Try to stay calm. Dispatch is on their way as we speak. How is your friend right now? Is she conscious?"

Cream looked over at Amy who had now curled up into a ball and was digging her nails into her scalp.

"Yes, she's not in her right mind right now. "

"Okay. And where is she bleeding?"

"Her wrists. She also swallowed some pills and I don't know what they were! Oh god...my god she's throwing up blood now. I NEED AN AMBULANCE RIGHT NOW!"

"They're almost there. Stay calm for me baby girl. Are you sure this wasn't an attack?"

"No. It was a damn suicide attempt and I don't know what to do...I don't know what to do..."

Cream drooped her phone and began to cry even harder than Amy. She crawled over to her and held her in her arms. "Stay with me, Amy. Please..."

"What the hell is going on here?!"

Cream looked up through her blurred vision. Xander towered over the both of them. He yanked Amy up by her shirt collar. "What the fuck did you do to yourself?!" Amy's head lolled back as she fell unconscious.

"Put her down!" Cream yelled.

The flashing of red and blue lights could be seen through the blinds of the window. Cream ran to the door and opened it. "UP HERE!"

Xander scooped Amy up in his arms and ran down the steps to the ambulance, feigning concern. "It's my baby girl. Please, you have to do something!"

One of the paramedics looked Xander up and down. "Are you her father?"

"Foster. Can I ride with her? Please!"

"Hop in."

Xander stepped inside and held Amy's palm. "It's okay. Daddy's here...we're going to get through this together."

The paramedic began questioning Xander as the doors were closed behind them. "Were you home when this occurred, sir?"

"I just got home and..."

Cream sat on the steps bawling as the ambulance sped off. The snow had now become heavier. She wished over and over it would completely bury her. She dragged herself back into Amy's bedroom. She sunk into her bed and sobbed some more. The glint of the bloody knife caught her eye. She crawled over to it and picked it up, examining it all over. "Where did she even get this..." Cream's heart skipped several beats as she saw the all too familiar initials engraved into the metal.

end of flashback

Shadow sat back in a chair in silence. "So Jackie gave her the knife..."

Cream lowered her ears. "I didn't tell the authorities. I'm just as guilty."

Shadow shook his head. "You weren't the cause of it."

Cream looked at Shadow intently. "Look at me." She waited until Shadow's gaze fell upon her's. "I'm bedridden. I can't... I can't do anything to help Amy right now. If she's as down as you claimed she was then you need to take care of her. Because if anything happens to her-"

"I don't even know how she became my responsibility", Shadow interrupted. Although it was clear he was talking to himself. "I saved her from trying to drown herself for crying out loud. I didn't ask for this."

Cream frowned. "Neither did she."

Outside the room

Alicia sobbed as she overheard Cream tell the story of Amy's attempted suicide. She followed Krise back to the elevators. They had come to pay a visit to Cream when they saw Shadow walk in. It had been Krise's idea to eavesdrop and oh how she wishes they hadn't. Krise leaned against the elevator wall. "I had no idea."

Alicia nodded in agreement. "I didn't want the idea..."

Krise then punched the wall as hard as she could. "DAMN IT!"

Alicia cowered back into the corner and began sobbing again. Krise punched the wall over and over. "DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN...IT..."

and she too crouched to the floor sobbing.