Thank you all, as always, for the support. I am not super happy with this chapter but I wanted to get it out anyway. Hope it doesn't disappoint!
"Calliope…" Arizona sighed letting herself fall into the chair in the apartment living room.
"I know. I know I screwed up." Callie paced the floor. "I hate being in trouble. I hate it. Everything about it. I am not great at apologizing and that's what you need and I suck at them." Callie did hate the feeling that someone was upset with her. "It makes me…"
"Calliope, let me talk."
"Ok. Ok talk." Callie tried to calm her nerves by taking a seat on the sofa turning her body to face the blonde.
"I am just… I'm so mad at you" Callie let the words sink in and she closed her eyes briefly before finding Arizona's. "Even if you did want her… even if you wanted her you let her say that shit to me Calliope. She told you that you could do better, and you just looked at her? For fuck's sake Calliope your four year old daughter stood up for me and you didn't. Not that I need someone to stand up for me. At all. But it would have been a nice gesture. Do you know that Sophia cried all the way home? She kept asking for you to come with us." Callie dropped her head to look at her lap. "What the hell was that Callie? You still have feelings for her?"
"No Arizona, No."
"Then what the hell was it?" Arizona's voice was louder than Callie had expected, causing her to jump in her seat.
"I… I don't know Arizona."
"Oh, don't give me that shit, ok? Do you know how I felt in there? Do you have any idea?" Arizona waited for a response but was only met with a shaking head. "She made me feel like nothing to you. You made me feel like nothing to you."
"Arizona everything happened so fast! I wasn't expecting you to be there. I hadn't prepared…"
"Prepared? You had to prepare to defend me?"
"I just was caught off guard, Arizona. You know… you are so good at just acting. You run into things full force. I don't know if it was your job or how you grew up that made you like that, but you are on the ready all the time. You say the right things, you do the right things, and you do them without hesitation. God, talking to my parents, comforting Sophia, defending me, saving me, you just do it. And I was not trained for that. I contemplate surgeries for hours before going in. I consult and consult and review and consult. I am prepared. And I know that I should have said something. I know. I should have jumped to your defense and protected you. But I didn't. And I suck. I know that. I just… I messed up. But does that mean that I don't love you?" Callie moved off of the sofa and sat on the ataman in front of Arizona, taking both of her hands in her own. "No, it doesn't mean that. Does it mean that I don't want to be your knight in shining armor when you need it? No, it doesn't mean that either. It means that you have found a flaw." Callie smiled trying to lighten the mood. "And there are very few of those so celebrate while you can." Callie chuckled to herself but her smile faded when Arizona's cold blue eyes met her own. "Sorry, not a joking time."
"It hurt, Callie. A lot."
"Baby, I know. I am so so sorry. Anything that I can do to make it better and I promise I will."
Arizona took a few shallow breaths before bringing her eyes down to her hands. "Timothy and I were two years apart. We were close. He was older than me but small. We looked like we were twins. Well, I was a tomboy and we moved around a lot so we didn't really have a lot of friends. It was me and him, ya know. We were on base playing football in the front yard and the neighbor's kids were outside. Jonathan. He was such a little ass. Well I threw the football too far and it went into their yard and Timmy had to go get it. I was too scared. By the time Timmy got there Jonathan had picked up the ball. Timmy asked for it back and Jonathan threw it at him. Hard. It hit him in the stomach and he dropped." Arizona smiled and Callie squeezed her hand. "I crossed the yard in like 2 seconds. And before Timmy could pick himself up off the ground I had delivered a not-so-skillful kick to Jonathan's groin. He dropped too. My big brother and Jonathan were both on the ground. And out of nowhere someone pushed me from behind. I fell onto Jonathan and hit my chin on his knee or something. I started crying. When I heard a wail I was sure it was coming from me, but Timmy had gotten up and had jumped on Jacob, Jonathan's brother, the one that pushed me. I rolled off of Jonathan and looked at my brother, straddling a prone Jacob and punching him in the stomach. And I laughed. My little chin was bleeding but I was laughing. Timmy told me to go home but I wasn't leaving him. Not by himself. Jacob kept screaming and crying so I grabbed Timmy's shirt and pulled him backwards. He put his arm around my shoulder and we looked at the Taylor boys holding themselves and writhing in pain. I picked up our football and we walked back to the house. And we never had to worry about those boys again. When we were in the front yard they went to the back. Now don't get me wrong, we got our hinds tanned that night when my dad got home. But after he spanked us for getting in a fight, he said that he was proud. He said he was proud that we protected each other. And we didn't know it then, but it would be the last time that either of us had that in another person. That complete trust. That feeling that no matter where you were, someone had your back. Tim went into the Marines, just like my dad. I had every intention of following. But Tim died two years in. He was on his third tour. And I was just coming of age to enlist. My parents begged me not to go. But I still felt like that little girl who wanted to kick someone in the balls for hurting my brother. But I saw my parents die with my brother. I saw pieces of them die. And I knew that if they lost their only other child then it would be the end of them. So I didn't go." Arizona realized that she had not wiped the tears that had fallen down her face, her hands being locked with Callie's. She made eye contact with the Latina and saw her eyes red and teary. "Maybe I expect too much, Calliope. Maybe jumping to my defense is not who you are. But it's who I am."
Callie's eyes never left her partner's, her voice just a whisper, "I understand. I'm sorry I didn't do what you need. I will do better. Ok? I promise. Don't give up on me yet."
"You don't have to do better by my Calliope" Arizona started.
"But I do! I do. And I want to. I love you so much and I don't want you to ever question that. You have done everything… everything I could have ever wanted. And you deserve someone to be like your brother again." Callie released Arizona's hands and brought her right hand up to the blonde's cheek, wiping away a tear. "Just don't cry anymore, ok? Sophia might kill me if she sees you crying again." Arizona smiled.
"I think she is going to be a protective one, too. Did you hear how she demanded an apology today?" Both women laughed.
"I know!" Callie's voice dropped. "I wonder where she gets that from." Callie's hand drifted to the blonde's jaw and neck, soothing the red skin under her fingers. "You are great for her you know? I can't imagine our life without you. I can't imagine her without you." A blush crept across the blonde's fair skin and she suppressed a smile. Strong hands lifted her chin to meet dark eyes. "And I would really like to thank you for being so great." Callie leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her fiancé's left cheek. "And so protective." A kiss on her right cheek. "And so sweet" A kiss to her forehead. "And so incredibly hot." A soft kiss to the blonde's nose. As her lips hovered playfully over her partner's soft pink lips, she was surprised when she spoke.
"Can I tell you what scared me most, Calliope?"
"Of course."
"When I saw you talking with her at lunch, before I even walked over… I thought about how I was going to have to explain it to Sophia if I had to leave. All of that went through my head in those few seconds that I saw you with her. I had to think about what I was going to say. How I was going to say it. And how I was going to keep her from crying." Arizona's voice broke. "And when I dropped her off she was more clingy than she has been. And I had to leave. And I thought about her forgetting me. She is only four. After a few months she would have forgotten. And I think that hurt more than anything."
"Arizona don't think about that, ok? I love you. You have to believe me. I messed up and I didn't act when I should have. I am going to mess up again. I am going to hurt you at one point or another. I will say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing or not do anything at all. I will get grumpy and take it out on you. But what I told Sophia was the truth. You both are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I promise that I won't do anything to ruin that. You have to trust me. I know people have left you, sweetie. When you asked them not to. But you have to believe that I won't. You have to have faith in me. And I have to have faith in you." Callie again wiped away more tears and placed a lingering kiss on Arizona's cheek before pulling her into a tight hug.
"I love you Callie." Callie's breath caught in her throat as she felt soft lips on the skin of her neck. She leaned into the touch as Arizona brought her hand to her face and pulled her closer to her kiss. Callie's hands dropped to Arizona's hips and held her close and she felt her partner's warm mouth gliding over the skin of her neck. The Latina's breath deepened and she let out a small moan, signaling the blonde the continue. Arizona toyed with the skin just below the other woman's ear, raking her teeth across the before biting softly. Her hot tongue soothed the area before she laid a trail of kisses along a strong jawline. She used her right hand to tilt Callie's chin upward to assault the sensitive skin of her throat. Arizona felt Callie's breath and moans on her lips. She slowly moved to Callie's pulse point, biting again and soothing with a soft tongue. Arizona skillfully twisted both bodies so that Callie's back was to the chair, pushing the woman to a seated position. She slowly lowered herself onto the chair, straddling strong thighs. Her deep blue eyes met smoky brown and she continued her decent to Callie's neck. Pulling the material of her shirt off of her shoulder, she kissed the skin where her shoulder met her neck and sucked lightly. Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona's waist but they were quickly redirected to rest in one of the blonde's hands directly above Callie's head. The larger woman squirmed under the weight of her fiancé and tried to lower a hand to feel her body but Arizona's hand held strong. Arizona used her free hand to roam Callie's clothed body, her hand traveling up and down her torso, scraping her nails over her thighs. Her hand traveled upward to their joined hands, softly scraping her nails down the underside of Callie's arm, raising chill bumps behind her touch. Arizona took Callie's face in her soft hand and pulled her closer, their lips inches apart. Arizona tilted her head upward, her bottom lip touching Callie's. The Latina opened her mouth in anticipation. Arizona put more distance between them, smiling at her fiancé's reaction. She tried the motion again but was met with a fiery kiss from her partner. Callie wrestled her hands from the smaller one and grabbed and tugged at every big of Arizona that her hands found. Their mouths melted together, moving as one. Eyes clenched shut, hands roaming feverishly, tongues working for dominance. Callie bit Arizona's lower lip which drew a sharp breath from the blonde. Both women smiled and Arizona pulled the lip into her own mouth, soothing the skin with her tongue.
"Sorry baby." Callie smiled.
"Mhm." Arizona responded before crashing her mouth into Callie's again. The women sat there at length, rediscovering their passion for each other, revalidating each other's feelings and emotions, putting their desires into action. When the women parted it was only to lead each other to their bedroom. Behind those doors Callie gave Arizona every reassurance that she knew how and Arizona accepted readily.