Yohji and the boys left half an hour ago and Aya was like a cat on hot bricks. He paced up and down, in the living room.
He stopped as the doorbell rang "I thought you wouldn't come"
"Sorry kid but you have to stick with us, the whole night" doc grinned.
"We had an emergency. Sacred lost two members, tonight" Souta sighed, he couldn't get rid of the image of one of the boys. He would follow soon, Souta was sure the boy wasn't able to bury his lover and start anew.
The boy reminded him of Aya, the redhead would never survive Yohji's death. That was as sure as the 'Amen' in the church.
"Who?" Aya closed his eyes; he met them a few years ago during a mission. Sacred and Weiss had to infiltrate Kobayashi enterprise.
"Nanami and Kaito" doc squeezed Aya's shoulder "Aoi and Hayato are alright"
"No, they are not" Aya walked to the couch "Hayato can't live without Kaito. They are… were together for ten years. We have to bury him too. He won't last a week"
Doc looked shocked but Souta nodded "Do you think the same?" she asked.
"Yeah" he answered "I can't help. He lost his sense of life"
"That's sad" she had a hardboiled kind of personality but fates like Hayato's broke her heart.
"They'll be together once and for all" Aya was sure they would be together in the afterlife or whatever would follow when you die.
"How are you?" Souta changed the topic.
"I don't feel well" he confessed, he trusted him with everything and now was the best time to reveal his cracked soul.
Doc settled down to his right and Souta to his left "Come on my boy, what happened?"
"We talked" they knew he spoke about Yohji "I asked if I'm a burden"
"What did he say?" Souta pushed after Aya stopped to talk.
"He said … yes. Sometimes" Doc closed her eyes, she saw something like that coming.
Souta shook his head, it was a matter of time but the timing was more than bad.
"He said he wants to go out from time to time or read a book. He wants only a few hours without my presence and I can understand his decision but it hurt" he continued before they got a chance to interfere.
"Don't you need some space?" Souta was careful, a wrong word and the boy could break.
"I like it, too" he shifted restlessly "but I can't get his words out of my head"
"What exactly did he say?" doc knew how tactful the blond could be, he could be tactful like a steamroller.
The words were burned deep inside his mind and he remembered them word for word.
He took a deep breath and repeated what his lover said "I work and I take care of you, that's all I do. I lost my balance. It is not your fault. I had the need to care for you because I caused your misery and I got used to it. After our lovely doc kidnapped you for a while, I had time for myself and I realized how much I missed it"
"Ohh" doc sighed, hadn't he used the most stupid phrases she would tease him about the 'lovely' but she felt the urge to kick his sorry ass.
"Not exactly tactful" Souta pinched his nasal bone "but I don't think he meant it the way it sounds"
"I'm nothing more than a duty" Aya tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling "misery" he mumbled.
"At least … he's honest" doc tried to find a way into his soul.
"I love his honesty" Aya replied "and I know he loves me... I hope he loves me"
"Oh, sweetie he does love you. I can see it in his eyes. You're by far more than his duty"
"She's right. I told you he was a patient of mine. Even then he loved you. I'm not allowed to tell you what he said but believe me I know he loves you" Souta tried his luck.
They got a little smile in return "Can you help me to be independent?"
"Sure" doc beamed, that was a beginning.
"I have to work in the flower shop; they can't take over my shifts any longer"
"You could make bouquets!" doc loved the idea and put an arm around his shoulder.
"We can try to find the right trick" Souta put an arm around Aya's shoulder.
Aya liked the comforting touches, he felt warm and secure in the arms of his friends.
He liked the way his life developed; he had a great lover, two hyperactive brothers and two best friends.
He wiped tears away; he didn't know when he started to cry but it was alright. Doc and Souta understood and he wasn't ashamed to cry in front of them.
They caressed his arm and shoulder "It's alright to cry" doc rested her head against his shoulder and Souta held Aya's head against his strong chest like the grandfather he wanted him to be.
To have a good cry felt incredible good "I'm sorry" he wiped the salty streaks away.
"Don't apologize" Souta was relieved about Aya's little outburst. He was afraid the redhead could bottle his emotions up 'till the point of no return.
"It's healthy to cry" doc patted his head "You're our friend and friends' car for each other"
Aya took a few deep breaths to stifle the remaining sobs "I never had friends before"
"Never?" doc frowned; Aya was a beautiful, intelligent and loving person. It was hard to believe that Aya wasn't popular. Okay he could be cold and totally creepy but only when you make him angry.
"I was an outsider at school, my family had better things to do and during work…. It's not easy to make friends while you're on the battlefield" was Aya's short reply.
"But Yohji and the boys…?" doc asked.
"They're different. They want to live and they have dreams. Besides we have the flower shop, the shop gives us some kind of freedom. We have the illusion of a normal life even though we kill at night. It's hard to explain"
"I think I know what you mean" she understood what he meant; she was an assassin, too "I was an assassin before I got the chance to be a doctor"
"I was an assassin too before I became a shrink" he chuckled "That was a time"
"Yeah" doc sounded "We did a lot of stupid things"
"I never thought you…" Aya was shocked; they were killers just like him.
"We were on the same team" doc said cheerful "We had a lot of fun, apart from the killing part"
"So you see, it's alright to feel good even though you're a killer" Souta grinned "We were friends and because of that we survived"
"How can you live with what you did?" the redhead asked curiously.
"Did you ever kill an innocent?" doc tried a counter question.
"No" he replied.
She smiled "They deserved death" Souta joined in "Don't you think they deserve to die?"
"They can't kill or torture innocents when we snuff them out" he began to understand what they tried to say. He told himself the same after every mission but it was the first time he believed it.
"Come" Souta took Aya's hand and led him to the shop "Stay up and we make the most beautiful bouquet"
Doc put her hands on Aya's shoulder and followed "I want one too. Do you make a bouquet for me?" she chirped.
Aya smiled a genuine smile "Only for you" he sounded cheerful.
Their plan worked, Aya was lively and they could spend an amusing evening together.
"Okay" doc looked around "I think we take advantage of the beautiful smell" she took a few flowers.
"What's that?" she held a flower under his nose "A rose" he answered self-confident.
"And … that?" Aya sniffed at the flower "Tulip"
"Good" she laid eight different kinds of flowers on his table "Now, perform a miracle" she wiggled her brows.
Souta took desk lamp and put it on Aya's desk "Maybe you can see a bit, the light is extremely bright" he switched the light on.
Aya could see contours and he could spot different colors "At least, I won't create a color mishmash" he chuckled, it was a bit embarrassing.
"Oh boy, don't be embarrassed" he blushed even more. Souta grinned "Practice makes the master"
Aya finished his first bouquet and held it in the light. It looked terrible "Do you know a clown who need a new bouquet, he can put a little water pump in it and nerve a few kids during a birthday party"
"That's one of the reasons I hate clowns. Sniff on the flower and 'splash', no thank you"
doc remembered her fifth birthday and shuddered.
"Next try" Aya sighed, he had to learn this and also quickly.
They worked for two hours 'till Aya made the most beautiful bouquet doc ever saw "That's beautiful, Aya. Great" she was proud.
"You learn fast, my boy" Souta praised like a proud grandfather.
"I can work" Aya beamed "I can work my shift"
"Let us celebrate with a nice piece of citron cake" doc remembered that she brought a self made cake.
"I love your homemade cakes" Souta tidied the mess up.
They needed ten minutes to clean the shop and twenty more minutes to exterminate the poor cake.
"They should be back" Aya began to worry.
Doc and Souta hoped Aya would need more time to notice the delay.
"They're alright" doc tried to calm him down but it wasn't easy to do that when you're nervous yourself.
"They'll be here, soon" Souta had a bad feeling, they already lost one team.
"I don't want to end like Hayato" Aya rubbed his hands "I survived my last team. I don't want to survive Weiss" he panicked.
"Don't panic!" Sout put his arms around Aya "Hush" and caressed his back.
Doc rose from the couch and made a cup of tea "Drink" she ordered.
Aya drank his tea but didn't feel any better "Yohji had a bad feeling about the mission. I wish we had canceled the job"
"Some jobs need more time than others" doc held his hand. She felt like a mother-hen.
Aya rubbed his face "I can't cope with worry and helplessness"
"You can't get used to everything. I was like you" Souta sighed "I've gone nuts when they left me at home. I was injured and wasn't able to accompany them but I thought I walk up the wall"
"I remember the day. He was yelling and cursing like a staff-sergeant. 'You're late', 'Injuries?', 'Did you success?', 'Call when you're late'" she imitated her colleague.
"hem, uhm, yeah" Souta blushed "It's normal to go nuts because of the team" he joked.
Aya laughed, he loved his friends.
The telephone rang; Aya almost dropped his cup "Hello?" he sounded anxious and hopeful at the same time.
Doc and Souta watched him carefully; their worry grew by every passing minute.
Ayas was pale like death and his hands shook awfully as he hung up.