A/N: Hey guys! Um, Happy Sunday! But how are you guys? I'm ok. Don't you feel like sometimes that you just wanna go M.I.A? I just want to be off the grid for a minute. I want to see who's worried and who doesn't care. Just an experiment. But I won't do it now. If that's what you guys are thinking. Lol. I will probably let you guys know. Um, this chapter, the twins will be a few weeks old. Like near Christmas! Yahhh! Alright, buh-bye! :)
Disclaimer: *starts singing* Forgot what it's like to just feel ok. Praying for a day when there is no more rain…
PREVIOUSLY ON 'Healing'
I looked up at Ziva and Tony "Congrats you guys. You are now the parents of two beautiful and healthy little girls. It's about time they got here!" I grinned while everyone laughed.
2 Weeks Later
I honestly don't know what to feel. I am sooo proud of my team. We came in 1st and we were flawless. Then I realized that Gary's birthday is coming up this week. I have been completely out of it. I always get depressed around this time of year. But I shouldn't be. I really do try to hide it. But the people I'm closest to already know that I'm hiding something. Like London, she didn't know Gary. I met her in Elementary school, sure. But she never met him personally. But she does notice that around this time of year, I get depressed. She always asks what's wrong and I always avoid the question.
Marcus already knows why I'm feeling like this. And personally, I think that he feels kind of the same way. I noticed that he's kind of quiet, and only really talks to me. He gives me stronger hugs and kisses than usual. It's comforting though.
Ziva and Tony notice that something is off. I'm not the crazy, upbeat teenager they met in June. When I smile, they notice it's not a real smile. And they are wondering what it going on. As I play with the twins in the living room, Ziva calls me from the kitchen. "Sam, may I have a word with you for a minute?" She asked and I nodded my head. I put Mia and Joelle on both of my hips as Tony takes them from me.
"I got it from here Sam. Go ahead and talk to Ziva." Tony said. I shot him a small smile.
"Thanks Tony. Bye Mia, bye Joelle. Be good for Daddy, ok?" Mia started to yawn as Joelle was already asleep. I figured Ziva was downstairs since she wasn't in the kitchen anymore. I opened the basement door and I walk down the steps. When I got down there, I was in awe. When did they change their basement?
The basement has hardwood floors and mirrors and it actually looked like a real gym. "Whoa! When did you do this?" I asked looking around. I heard Ziva chuckle. I see her stretching so I walk over to her and sit down and started stretching as well.
We were quiet for a few minutes. I was still stretching by the time she finished. "So Samantha, we have noticed that you have not been yourself the past few days. What is going on?" She asked as she turned the radio on.
I started stretching my right split. "I don't know what you are talking about Ziva." I saw Ziva shake her head in the corner of my eye. I really don't wanna talk about it.
"Sam, you are hiding something. Your laugh is different than normal. Your eyes do not sparkle like they normally do. Your smile does not reach your eyes anymore. Please, just tell me what is wrong. I thought since your mom is back home, you would be even happier than before. If that was even possible." She started pacing back and forth and she noticed that I started stretching my left split. "Since when did you become so flexible?"
I chuckled. "It's been like that Ziva. Marcus enjoys it." I shot her a smirk and her mouth dropped.
"Oh do not tell me Sam…" She started off and I started laughing. This time, it was a real laugh.
"Calm down Mama. Nothing happened, yet." I don't care if she doesn't believe me. Most people don't believe it. But it's the truth.
"Ok, just making sure. But back to the reason why I called you down here. What is going on?" Ziva questioned once again. I sighed because I know that I need to tell her sooner or later.
"It's Gary's birthday this week. I have just been out of it." I started off. "I try to smile for the world because I don't want people worried about me. My mom already knows but she is out of town on a business thing. Marcus has been kind of out of it too. Because Gary was his friend too. But Marcus has always been good at hiding his emotions." I blurted out.
Ziva nodded her head in understanding. "Does Marcus know how you feel?" She questioned. I nodded my head.
"Behind closed doors, we comfort each other so we know that we have each other at the end of the day. It's nice." I smiled a little bit thinking of it.
"It is nice to have someone there to comfort you. We all need it sometimes. That is why I am glad that I have Tony. We just get each other. Whenever either one of us need comfort, we know it." Ziva started playing with her engagement ring. That reminds me of something.
"Now you have the twins who need their mother and father. You have many sources of comfort. Hey Ziva, did you and Tony decide on a date for the wedding?" I wanted to change the subject. I'm tired of talking about my issues.
"Um, actually, we have not had a chance to even discuss it. The twins have been such a handful. We could barely sleep some nights." She said shaking her head. Somehow, something came into mind.
"Ziva, have you told him about Somalia yet?" I asked softly so Tony wouldn't hear me if he wasn't eavesdropping. Ziva snapped up her head and shook her head rapidly.
"Did you tell him? Sam! You promised not to tell him!" I put my hands up in mock surrender.
"Ziva, I didn't tell him ANYTHING! But you HAVE to tell him. The longer you hold it in, the angrier he could get because you held it in for so long. Please just tell him. You shouldn't be holding all of this baggage and he doesn't know the most significant piece of baggage that you have." I tried to reason with her and she knows that I'm right. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Ok, fine. I will tell him tonight. I do not want him to be mad at me." She said in a tiny voice. I scooted over next to where she sat.
"I can't make any promises that he won't be upset. But at least he will know. It's only fair. You know what? Just talk about each other's baggage. I'm sure that he has some too. Now, I have to go. No practice tonight and no school until January. So I'm going to Marcus's house tonight. Call me to let me know how it goes. I'm going to say goodbye to Tony and the twinjas." I gave Ziva a hug and I stand up. "Bye Ziva! I actually feel kind of better talking. Thanks." She nodded her head and smiled
"No problem Sam."
I walk upstairs past the living room and the kitchen and I walk upstairs to the twin's room. I walk in and Mia and Joelle are both asleep. They are so adorable. I gave both of them a kiss on the head and tip-toed out. I was wondering where Tony was and I just so happened to see him asleep in his bed. I know he is exhausted.
I walk downstairs to get my boots and my coat and to my surprise, Marcus was here. I wasn't expecting to see him until I got to his house. "Hey Marcus, fancy seeing you here." I gave him a small smile and he gave me one back. "Ready to go home?" I asked as I put my stuff on.
"Yup. I just want to hold you." Marcus said putting his arms around me. This is going to be another one of those type of nights.
A/N: I know you guys were wondering that why am I updating if I have choreography camp. Well, it got cancelled but I had a cheer lock-in at my gym. Kind of like a sleepover. I had so much fun. I was going to update yesterday but guess what? A HUGEEEE storm came through and knocked the power out for the night. I mean tornadoes and stuff. One tornado actually hit my friend's house. It was crazy! At first, it was all nice and beautiful outside. 10 minutes later, it's freaking POURING OUTSIDE! But hey, oh well. Oh, I go to the doctor on Tuesday to see what's wrong with my knee. I really hope it's something simple. It's a possibility I can't cheer… I think my life would be pretty much OVER! Smh. Cheerleading is like the only thing I know and I live for it. It got me through some pretty tough times… Alright. Not sure when I could update again. Maybe sometime this week. But if you need me, PM me! :D
Thanks for reviewing SmellyThePirate, BurnNoticeNCIS78, hslacer, Ncisobsessor, and conservativegirl! You guys are awesome! :D
BurnNoticeNCIS78- Thanks! I really need it to get better! I need to start cheering again! Lol.
hslacer- Thanks! I hope it's something simple. I don't have TIME to be out injured! I have my two squads DEPENDING on me. But I will make it!
Ncisobsessor- Lol. You're so cute! :D
Song of the day: Cry by Alexx Calise. "Well I, I hardly feel alive. I'm going through the motions. But I don't feel like trying. The whole in my heart is growing bigger by the day, wish that I could crawl inside, hide away."