Chapter 38

Awake and Alive

I found God, on the corner of first and Amistad, where the West was all but won. All alone, smoking his last cigarette. I said 'Where you been?' He said 'Ask anything'. Where were you, when everything was falling apart? All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang. And all I needed was a call that never came, to the corner of first and Amistad. Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me. Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late, you found me. You found me.

~You Found Me, The Fray

xXx

Four Months Later…(July 2014)

After that night, things started going better. I had actually slept through Thursday, and woke up Friday, wondering how many centuries had passed; I had slept that well.

Things started to change for me since then. I started listening in church, and actually talking in small groups. I stopped lying about how I was feeling, and I opened myself up to Henry more; which actually lead to me needing more therapy, but it's alright. Henry's actually starting to grow on me. The depression's still here, and I still have P.T.S.D, and slight insomnia, but it's getting better.

Seeing my turn around, Mom and Dad started going to church with us (Ana, her family, and myself) on Sundays. I started paying a little more attention in youth group, and being more active in the small group. I had even gotten Alex to go with Jake and I, because she wanted to see what had so radically changed my life. My life had been changed drastically, by saying three simple words.

I. Need. You.

Life as I knew it would never be the same. But, that was okay. It wouldn't have ever gone back to the way it had been before, anyway.

And this was a much better change.

xXx

Mom's now thirty-four weeks pregnant. A few more weeks, and I'll finally be a sister, after eighteen years. Everything was ready for the twins' arrival. Their room, which was next to mine, had been carpeted with plush white carpet, painted light beige, and black decals had been placed on the walls. Two high gloss black cribs had been placed in opposite sides of the room. There was a light brown loveseat and a glossy black rocking chair in the room, and the glossy black changing table had been placed on the wall in betwen the cribs.

Alex, Garrett, Jake and I had put it together four weeks ago, while Mom and Dad had been at an OB they had come home, however, instead of surprising them, they had given us some upsetting news. Mom had been diagnosed with preeclampisa; although a mild case, this was still scary news. This was a serious diagnosis, that could have serious consequences.

Mom has been on bed rest since, to keep her and the babies safe. We would have to keep an eye on her, and if her symptoms were to worsen, she'd have to be admitted into Swedish, until it was safe for the babies to be delivered. Until then, we just had to keep 'constant vigilance', and try to keep the symptoms under wraps.

Oh, I almost forgot—I graduated. I am now officially a high school graduate; although I didn't graduate valedcitorian, as I had been planning at the beginning of the year, but since I graduated, I could care less if I had graduated with a 2.5 (which, thank God, I didn't—I graduated with a 3.8).

Things were really looking up.

xXx

"Hey," I called out, as I walked through the door. "I'm home!" I kicked off my shoes, and walked upstairs. After throwing my bag on the couch, I searched through the fridge for something to eat. Alex's 4th of July party last night had been insane. I was going to need at least a week to recover.

"In my room," I heard Mom call out. After finding an apple, I walked into my parents' room.

Mom was on the bed, and open on what was left of her lap was an old scrapbook.

"How was the party?" Mom asked, as she turned the page. I sat on the bed next to her.

"Crazy," I smiled. "We're going to need at least a week to recover."

Mom smiled. "I'm glad you had fun."

I lied on the bed next to her. "Why are you looking through the scrabbook?"

"Just...reminicsing." Mom sighed. "I still can't believe that you're graduated." She looked almost sad.

"I still remember how you felt in my arms the day you were born," I saw a single tear run down her cheek, as she sub-consciously ran a hand across her pregnant belly. Then, she smiled, laughing a little bit.

"You know, Renesmee, the day you were born, Sarah and I had made an agreement,"

"An agreement?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

She nodded. "Jacob was three months old at the time, and while I was pregnant, despite how convinced I was that you would be a boy, Sarah told me that you were a girl. So, when she was proved right, we made an agreement. That you and Jacob would be married when you two were twenty-five. Billy and Edward had even written up the contract, and I still have it, in this scrapbook…" Mom turned a few pages back, and pulled out an eighteen-year-old yellowing piece of paper.

"On this day," Mom read. "September 11th, 1995, Renesmee Carlie Cullen and Jacob William Black have been arranged to be married by the age of twenty-five. The Blacks and the Cullens will join together as one family on that day. Jacob must hold Edward's blessing as the bride-price. Renesmee and Jacob must have been dating for at least one year before Jacob asks for her hand in marriage.

To hold the blessing of marriage from Edward, Jacob must first hold the heart of a man's man, the soul of a poet, and he must be the half that makes his daughter whole. Until then, the bride-price will not be paid, and he cannot ask Renesmee for her hand.

In the unlikely occurrence of tragedy,(i.e., Jacob/Renesmee die before they are married), then this contract expires, and neither are held up to the agreement."

There were four signatures on the bottom of the page, and it had even been notarized by my grandmother. I took the contract from my mother, and read it over.

"The irony's amazing." I laughed. "Were you guys actually serious?"

Mom nodded, taking the paper back, and slipping it through the plastic of the scrapbook page, next to a picture of three-month old Jacob, and three-hour old me.

"He was enticed with you," Mom smiled. "I remember, when you were two weeks old, Sarah had invited me to coffee, and we went to one of the local coffee shops. Jacob had spent the hour staring at you from his stroller, and he had even tried pulling on your arm, when you had fallen asleep. The barista had joked that Sarah and I would end up as in-laws. And, when we were freshman, Sarah and I had made an agreement that if we had two children, a son and a daughter, roughly the same age, that they were to be married to each other when they were twenty-five."

"Sounds like an agreement Alex and I made in the third grade," I mused.

Mom gasped, and then smiled, placing her hand over her abdomen.

"What?" I asked, a little nervous. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," Mom laughed. "Here," She reached over, and took my hand, placing it where hers had been. I felt a flurry of movements, that was the kicks of one baby.

I smiled. "That's incredible,"

In reply, she took my hand, and ran it down her stomach, until I felt a slight pounding.

"Feel that bomp-bomp-bomp?" Mom smiled, repeating one of my favorite lines from my favorite movie.

"That's where the heart is," We said in unison. I was smiling so much, it hurt my cheeks.

"Can you believe it?" Mom asked, staring into the distance. "I don't think I can,"

"Well, Mom, no offense, by you are forty-five. Isn't that a bit old to be having babies?"

Mom shot a glare at me, but then the glare grew into a smile, with a small laugh.

"I guess you're right." She shook her head. "Oh, God, what am I doing? I'm going back to the sleep schedule of an intern. At my age..."

"It's a God-given miracle," I smiled.

"And I thank Him everyday for it." Mom replied.

"Jake doesn't have to watch the kids today, so he's coming over in a few minutes," I lifted myself off of the bed.

"We're probably going to be downstairs, so call if you need anything."

Just as I had left my parents' room, Jacob came to the door.

"You know," I said, opening the door. "You can just walk in. I think we're past that awkward/formal stage of our relationship."

"Just being a gentleman," Jacob smiled, giving me a kiss as he walked into the house.

"Mhm..." I smiled, and wrapped my arms around his neck, placing my lips on his, closing my eyes. He licked my lips, asking for entrance, and placed his hands over the small of my back.

I opened my connection, pushing all the love I could into it. Everything I felt went to him, as our lips danced together. I laced my fingers in his soft, slightly shaggy hair and pulled his forehead to mine.

"I love you," I whispered. I opened my eyes slightly, as Jacob lifted my chin so I could meet his eyes.

"I love…"

Crash

"What was that?" Jake asked.

Suddenly, adrenaline filled my body, and my heart rate increased. My eyes flickered for a few moments, before running up the stairs, into Mom and Dad's room.

The lamp that was one Mom's nightstand was on the ground, in pieces. Mom was clutching her stomach, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Page your father," She said quickly. "I'm going into labor,"

I nodded, and ran out of the room to get my phone, and tell Jake.

It's too early, I kept thinking. It's too early for the twins to be born.

"What is it?" Jacob asked, as I ransacked my bag trying to find my phone.

"Mom's in labor," I said, finding my phone. "Dad's at Swedish...Jake, it's too early," My voice rose an octave higher.

I punched in the pager number, and sent it a quick message. It's Mom.

"Help me get her to the car...Jake, can you drive us to Swedish?"

"Yeah, of course,"

"Good," I nodded, and started towards Mom and Dad's room, when Jake grabbed my shoulders.

"Nessie," He said, looking at me in the eye. "Calm down. Everything will be okay; your mom will be okay. Trust me."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Good," He smiled, and gave me a small kiss. We went into the room, and Jake cleaned the broken glass pieces so Mom could get out of the bed. I called her O.B., Dr. Marx, as Jake and I helped Mom out of the bed.

"Hello, this is maternity, how can I help you?" A nurse answered.

"Can I please speak with Dr. Alisha Marx?" I asked.

"May I ask who's calling?"

"Renesmee Cullen, I'm the daughter of one of her paitents?"

"Oh, Dr. Cullen's daughter," I heard her smile, as Jacob opened the front door.

"One moment please," I heard the click of the phone, and then I was conncected to a new line.

"Dr. Marx," The O.B. answered.

"Yeah, this is Dr. Cullen's daughter...and she just started going into labor," I got into the backseat of Jake's car, next to Mom. Jake started the car and headed out of the driveway.

I heard her let out a sigh, getting into medical mode. "How far apart are the contractions?"

I put the phone away from my ear. "How...?"

"Seven minutes, pain level is about three-point-five," Mom said.

I repeated what Mom told me to Dr. Marx.

"I'll meet you guys outside maternity. Get here quickly," There was a click, and the line went silent.

I grabbed onto Mom's hand, and she gave me a weak smile. "Everything will be okay, sweetie." She assured.

"Thirty-four weeks for twins is very good," She took in a sharp breath, and her grip on my hand tightened. Closing her eyes, she took deep breaths, and let out a low moan of pain.

"Jacob, dear," Mom said, as the contraction passed. She leaned against the seat of the car.

"You have a woman who's in labor. You can drive faster...in fact, if you did, it would be greatly appreciated." She blew a puff of air from her mouth.

"Right, of course," Jake nodded. He increased the speed, and we arrived at Swedish after about an hour. Daddy was nervously waiting for us outside the main entrance, next to Dr. Marx, who had a wheelchair with her. Jacob parked as close as he could to the entrance, and Daddy brought the wheelchair to the car.

"How are you doing?" Daddy asked, as he helped Mom out of the car and into the wheelchair.

"I forgot how painful this was," Mom joked.

"Here, Dr. Cullen, let me get that for you," Jacob took Daddy's place behind the wheelchair, and Daddy stood next to Mom, taking her hand.

"Well," Dr. Marx smiled. "Let's go have some babies,"

xXx

"Well, Bella, you look to be about four centimeters dialated," Dr. Marx said, looking up at Mom, snapping her gloves off.

"Because we're dealing with twins, and because you are at thirty-four weeks, I'm not going to try and stop the conctractions. But, I am going to start you on a low dose of Bethamethason, to help mature their lungs, and a few other systems. Okay?"

Mom nodded. "Marx, as long as these babies are healthy, I don't care what you do."

"Good," Dr. Marx laughed. "I'm going to go make a few rounds, have me paged if anything happens."

As she walked out of the room, Daddy and Jake walked back in.

"We're about half-way there," Mom informed, as Daddy gave her a small kiss.

"Hey, big sister." Jake laughed, sitting next to me in the loveseat.

I smirked, letting out a small laugh. "I guess I am now."

Jake leaned in for a kiss, but as our noses grazed each other, Daddy cleared his throat.

"Right..." I muttered, as Jake pulled away from the almost-kiss.

"Jacob," Daddy said. "How about you and Nessie go get some ice chips for Bella?"

My cheeks were burning.

"Yes, sir," Jacob nodded. He got up from the seat, and pulled me up with him. We walked out of the room, and down the hall to where the ice machine was.

"Remind me never to do that again," Jacob laughed, as we walked down the hall. I laced my hand into his, and smiled.

"Will do,"

"Nessie, Jake," I heard Alex's voice, and turned to find her running down the hall towards Jake and I.

"I got your text," She panted. "And got here as soon as I could,"

She spotted a water fountain, and took a big gulp from it. Taking a deep breath, she looked over at me.

"How is she?"

"Four centimeters," I smiled.

"Oh, excititng," Alex smiled. "Big sister," She nudged my arm, and I laughed, shaking my head.

"Is that what you and Jake are going to call me from now on?"

"Just today; maybe tomorrow," She shrugged. "I mean, you are a sister now. I think I have some right to call you that."

"So, does that give me right to call you...say...I don't know...Alexandria?"

Her face dropped, and she shot me a glare. "Don't you dare." She whispered darkly.

"Well, if you keep using that nickname..."

"Okay, okay," Alex raised her hands. "But, I swear to God, you call me Alexandria, and you're dead."

"Understood," I nodded, as the three of us headed down the hall.

xXx

A few long hours passed, and by ten that night, Mom had gone from four to seven. Just a few more hours, I kept telling myself. Alex was long gone, but Jake had stayed with us.

Just a few more hours.

I looked around the room. Mom was sleeping, although every few minutes she would moan in pain. I was surprised she was even sleeping. Dad was stretched out along the couch, sleeping, as well as Jake. I was the only one awake, although I was getting tired. I can't believe that I was actually beginning to like the feeling of being tired—but, going twelve weeks without sleep, you begin to take it for granted.

I was just about to close my eyes, only for a few moments, before the loud, steady beeping of Daddy's pager woke everyone.

"Can't they handle this themselves?" Daddy mumbled, pulling the pager from his shirt pocket.

"It's 9-1-1." His tone got more serious.

"Nessie, turn on the TV," Mom said, as Dad pulled out his phone to call Hunt.

This just in...

Plane crash.

Flight 545 New York to Seattle crashed, just twenty minutes ago...

"Hunt, I can't...Bella's in labor..." Daddy argued.

One hundred dead, even more injured, some injured. Victims are being transported to Swedish Medical Center and Harborview...

"Can't the residents handle it? I know I'm not the only trauma attending..."

Daddy sighed, and looked over at Mom.

"Bells, they really need me..." He looked distraught.

"Go," Mom said. "I'll be fine. I don't think these babies will be here for a while."

"I'm on my way," Daddy hung up, and headed out. He turned his head, and cast Mom a worried glance.

"Are you sure, Bells? I could call Hunt back..."

"Go," Mom shooed Daddy away, but he didn't budge. "Jacob can stand in your place until you come back."

Daddy looked over from Mom to Jake, raising his eyebrows.

"Uh, sure, I can do that." Jake nodded.

"Take good care of my wife," Daddy said, before running down the hall.

Mom closed her eyes, and pressed herself against the bed. "Oh, God..." She moaned, and let out a small whimper of pain. Jake got up from his seat, and awkwardly grabbed onto her hand. I watched, surprised that my boyfriend would be willing to coach my mother through birth. I smiled, when I realized that he might do the same for me in the near future.

Mom sighed largely as the contraction passed.

"This is going to be a long night."

xXx

Three hours passed, and the only thing keeping any of us up was adrenaline. Daddy was still dealing with the plane crash victims, and so far, we haven't been able to contact him. Mom had gone from seven to nine; we were in the homestretch.

I was still in awe that Jake would be so willing to see my mother in such a vulnerable position, to coach her through birth. None of the other guys I had dated before would have ever been willing to do such a thing. Josh would have left the second we arrived at Swedish; Drew, Chris, and Nick would have stayed a few hours, maybe. Dakota and Ethan would have stayed the whole time, but at this point they would be in the waiting area. I had always known that Jake was different from the other guys; but this was the tie-breaker. I knew that he was the one.

Mom was lying on her side, and I was running a tennis ball up and down her spine. Jake had been sent on a mission to find Dr. Marx, so I had taken over his duties until he returned with her.

"Renesmee, never have children past the age of thirty-five." Mom said, as another contraction passed.

"Sure thing, Mom." I smiled.

"I'm being..." Mom took in a sharp breath, and cried out in pain.

"Mom...?" I furrowed my eyebrows, and set the ball on the bedside table. Helping her lie back in the previous position.

"Renesmee," Mom said, swallowing hard. "I need you to find Jake and Marx, and then call your father. This is it."

My eyes widened, and Mom nodded. I ran out of the room, and found Jake and Marx right away.

"It's time," I said.

"Let's go," Marx said.

I followed Jake and Marx back into Mom's room, calling Daddy's cell.

After three or four rings, it was picked up. "Dr. Cullen's in surgery right now, can this wait?" I heard Hunt answer.

"Dr. Hunt, it's Nessie. Can you put Daddy on the phone?"

"This has to wait, Nessie, your father's right in the middle..."

"Mom's about to have the babies, can't you take over for him?" I asked.

"I'll let him know," There was a click, and the phone went dead.

Muttering a curse, I entered Mom's room. Marx was set-up in her scrubs; things were beginning to go underway. Jake was on Mom's left, so I went to the other side, taking her hand.

"Okay, Bella, are you ready?" Marx asked, situating herself in between Mom's open legs.

Mom looked scared. "I can't do this without Edward," She said.

"Bella, you're going to have to. We can't wait any longer."

"You can do this, Mom," I smiled, rubbing her hand with my thumb.

"You have us," Jacob said. "You're Dr. Cullen; You can do this."

Once again, I found myself in awe of my boyfriend.

"Bella," Dr. Marx prompted. "I need you to start pushing, now."

Mom nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay..." Marx said. "Push."

Mom took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, boring her chin down on her chest. She used all her strength to squeeze the hell out of my hand.

"Good," Marx said. "Okay, I need you to stop, so we can let the head crown properly."

Jake found a wet washcloth, and put it over Mom's forehead.

"You're doing awesome, Mom," I smiled.

"Bella," I heard Daddy's voice, and looked up to find him run into the room.

"Edward," Mom panted.

Jacob moved out of the way, so Daddy could take his place back.

Mom rested her head against the headboard, and gave Daddy a helpless look.

"Don't leave me..."

"I'm here, Bells," Daddy comforted, stroking her hand.

The tear that had escaped her eye trickled down her cheek, leaving behind a wet trail that made her look all the more vulnerable.

"I need you..."

Slowly, gently, and as softly as he could, Daddy reached out his left hand and dried her face, the same hand cupping her cheek once the tear trail was gone. His head tilted towards her, and as if Mom was made of the most delicate substance in the world, he gently rubbed his nose in her hair, placing a kiss into her brown hair.

"I'm not going anywhere," He whispered into her ear. "I promise."

I felt Jake's hand slip into mine, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Then, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, giving me a small peck on my cheek.

"Okay, Bella," Dr. Marx's voice brought us back to the moment. "Just a few more pushes should slide this one right out. You're almost there, Bella."

When the next contraction came, Mom gave it her all, pushing hard as she cried out in pain; I was actually beginning to lose the feeling in my hand.

After a few minutes, the rest of the body came sliding out, and instead of cries of pain, the room filled with the cry of a baby—of my brother. I let go of Mom's hand, and jumped into Jake's arms, laughing and crying at the same time. I finally had my brother.

"Nessie," Daddy's voice brought me back to reality. "Would you like to hold your brother?"

I left Jake's arms, and found Daddy standing next to me, holding the swaddled newborn. Slowly, I took the squirming baby, and swaddled him in my arms.

The rest of the world fadded around me. I sat down in the loveseat that was behind me. I was vauguly aware that Jake was behind me, smiling down at my new brother. He had my skin tone, but Mom's brown hair.

All of a sudden, things started to get scary. Dr. Marx's tone of voice became severe, and everything started happening in slow-motion. I turned my attention from the newborn in my arms to the terrifying events concering Mom, and the other baby. I couldn't exactly tell what was going on; but whatever it was, it was bad.

"What's happening?" Daddy asked, going into his trauma-mode.

"There's excessive vaginal bleeding and it appears that there isn't relaxation between these contractions. Baby's also experiencing distress. I think that there's been seperation of the placenta and uterine wall,"

She muttered a curse. "Bella, I need you to start pushing, now. As hard as you can, Bella, this baby needs to come out."

Screaming, Mom did as she was told. Soon, the baby was delivered, and Dr. Marx quickly cut the cord, and handed the baby to the nurse. Muttering another curse, Marx took off her gloves, and hit the call button that was next to the dor.

Before any of us could ask, she explained.

"There's too much bleeding, Dr. Cullen. She needs to be taken into surgery, before she goes into shock."

Soon, a flood of doctors came into the room, and raised the arms of the bed, and started wheeling her out of the room. I handed the baby I was holdig to Jake, and followed Daddy out of the room. We were left outside the double doors that lead to the operating suite.

I was vaguly aware then, that Jake had shown up at my side, that a nurse had taken the three of us down the hall, and into a deserted waiting area. My entire thoughts were on Mom.

I felt Jake's arm around my shoulders. I broke out into tears, and buried my head in Jake's chest. He wrapped his other arm around me, and rested his lips in my hair, comforting me.

Don't take her. I prayed silently. Please, don't take her. Let her be alright. Please.

xXx

Long hours passed before we saw Dr. Marx again.

"Dr. Cullen," She said, walking into the room. Daddy stood up, anxious to hear about Mom.

"There was too much bleeding that we couldn't control," She started, as Dad slowly sat down.

"We had to start an emergency hysterectomy, and remove the uterus."

"She's okay, though?" Daddy asked.

Marx nodded. "She's in recovery right now. She'll have to stay here about a week, and from there recovery's six-to-eight weeks. She most likely will not be able to return to work for about two or three months."

Daddy nodded. "As long as she's okay, Marx, that's all that matters."

She laughed. "That's very good to hear, Dr. Cullen. You can go see her, if you'd like. She should be waking up any minute, now."

xXx

The next few weeks were a blur. Mom and Dad named the babies William Jacob, and Sarah Nicole after Billy and Sarah. They came home with Mom, after about a week of recovery. Since Mom was on bedrest until she was fully recovered from surgery, Jake came over every morning, and helped Daddy and I with the babies. I watched as he held my siblings; as he took care of them, and couldn't help but think about how he would be a great father. I fond myself falling more in love with my boyfriend as I watched him hold my siblings.

Jake had decided that he would go into the police force, instead of becoming a mechanic. When I asked him why, he had told me that he wanted to dedicate his life to protecting the people around him; that he wanted to do more with his life than fix cars. He starts the acadamy in September, when I start classes at the University of Washington with Alex.

Life would forever be changed. And that was okay, because even if it wasn't how I had imagined it would be, this change was so much better than what I had imagined.

A character of a TV show I watch sums it up pretty good. She said, "Some days, the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably when you least expect it, the world rights itself again."

She couldn't have been more right.