I don't own the show NCIS or characters.
I didn't like leaving that last chapter where it was. I'm glad this chapter was much easier to write than the last. Hope you enjoy.
It had been a week since he had moved into the house. Jethro would bring Anna and the twins over once a day. The first time he had tried with the baby, Tim had asked him not to do that again. He was finally able to admit counseling might be needed. He was already on the medication. Deep down he knew it was the imbalance that made him feel this way, but it was hard to get over his complete lack of feelings towards the baby.
When he was pregnant he felt whole. Now he just felt empty, that had only happened with Anna. There was a reason it had happened before, but this time there was a baby waiting for him. It wasn't going to get better on its own, he knew that.
Jethro had been extremely kind over the week. He hadn't pushed Tim into anything. The times Tim saw him, the man had been gentle and kind. He was really trying to make an effort, but Tim still thought he was judging him. Really, what kind of parent doesn't want to have anything to do with their own baby? He loved his older children but felt nothing for the baby, hell he couldn't even call her by her name. He just hoped Dr. Ryder could help him.
"Dad, can we go see Papa now?" Anna asked.
Her dad said they were going to see him soon. She got to see him only a little at night. The one time her dad brought Ronnie her papa went into his room and wouldn't come out. Her dad said Papa was sick and just and needed time to get better. She wished he would get better soon.
Her room was finished in his house and she thought she was going to get to spend the night. That was what they talked about before Ronnie was born. The twins, Ronnie and her would spend half their time in Papa's house and the other half with Dad. But they were allowed to go over to the other's house anytime. She really wanted to see her Papa. Nothing was going like how they said it would.
It had been three weeks since Ronnie was born. Nothing was getting better, she missed how fun her papa used to be. Her dad said that last time he told to him that he was getting better but not all the way yet. He was going to see a doctor to talk about his feelings. She went to a doctor like that a while back, she didn't like thinking of the sad stuff they talked about.
"Not tonight. I'm going to go shower. Can you watch the littles while I'm in the shower?" her dad asked.
He had just gotten back from work. She just nodded, knowing it was useless to argue.
Once she heard the shower turn on upstairs she decided to take action.
"You want to go see Papa?" she asked the littles.
The twins looked up when she talked about Papa but Ronnie just laid there. She did that a lot, she was in her swing.
She helped out her dad a lot with Ronnie and the twins. She was able to gently get her out of the swing. Ronnie was still real little and she was able to hold her. They still had their shoes on from daycare.
"Let's go," she told them.
She was able to get the back door open easily enough carrying Ronnie. She walked slowly so A.J. and Petra could keep up. Making sure she was supporting Ronnie's head while resting on her shoulder. Ronnie was almost too big for her to carry but not yet.
They walked past Mrs. Feinstein's house, A.J. stumbled a couple of times but stood back up. When they got to Papa's house Ronnie was waking up. She pushed the button to ring the doorbell.
Tim heard the doorbell and debated on answering it. Jethro had already told him that he wouldn't be bringing the kids over. He couldn't find anyone to watch Ronnie. Tim had almost told him to bring her over but chickened out.
He had been in therapy for two weeks and with medication his hormones were evening out. It was like he was a different person than he was three weeks ago. Just thinking about how he reacted to Ronnie he felt shame. He was glad the doctor had just diagnosed him with mild postpartum. When he started the doctor admitting she thought it would be sever with his reaction to Ronnie. But after having his hormones leveled out with the meds it was determined mild.
He no longer felt wrong in his skin. But he did feel ashamed about how he had acted. He knew they would forgive him but he missed three weeks of bonding with Ronnie. He wasn't completely better but he was on his way. His doctor had given him a great prognoses for the future. But he was told if he had any more children the risk was high it would happen again.
Four was more than he ever thought he would have. Once upon a time all he wanted was Anna, but that was after she was already gone. He had been gifted with being able to be her father again. And now he had three other children to love and protect.
The doorbell sounded again bringing him out of his thoughts.
He stood up from his computer where he was writing. His doctor thought it was good for him to put his thoughts into words.
When he opened the door he wondered if a side effect for the meds was delusions. Because it looked like his eight year old daughter was standing on his front steps holding his newborn. Not to mention that his toddlers were sitting on the bottom steps eating something unknown but sharing.
"What in the world is going on here?" he demanded.
"We wanted to come see you. Dad said we couldn't tonight, so we did it on our own." Looking at her face he could see she was worried about him.
"You shouldn't have come alone. Where is your dad?"
"Shower," she said innocently.
"We have to go back over there. He will be worried sick once he gets out." He slid on his shoes by the door and took Ronnie from Anna.
"I want you to hold the twins hands. It was just by miracle they didn't wander off from you," he told her.
He was halfway to Jethro's before it hit him. He was holding Ronnie. He could hear her sniffling into his shoulder. The sun was setting but he was still pretty light out. He slid her off his shoulder and into the crook of his arm. She looked up at him with big blue eyes.
He waited to feel the indifference to her but it wasn't there. The feelings of love and rightness on the other hand were running wild. The pent up emotions that had been blocked for three weeks almost brought him to his knees. It was only be sheer will he made it back to Jethro's.
Once they were close to the house the door shot open. A panicked looking Jethro came running out. Once his eyes locked on Tim he ran over.
Tim waited for him to yell at him. He waited for the old Jethro to come back and accuse him of some terrible misdeed.
"Oh thank God," Jethro said as he knelt down and hugged the kids.
Tim was a little taken aback by Jethro's reaction. It used to be attack first, ask question later.
"Anna wanted to see me so she took the babies with her," Tim explained.
Jethro let go and the kids and stood up. Tim was shocked to say the least with Jethro pulled him into a hug, mindful of Ronnie in Tim's arms.
"You're holding her," he murmured into Tim's ear. "How does it feel?"
"Like I never want to put her down," he answered honestly.
Jethro pulled back out of the hug. "I'm happy, she looks peaceful."
Gibbs knew it was still going to be a struggle some days. Tim wouldn't just one day snap out of his illness. But this was the first major step in the healing process. It was a long time coming. Maybe Anna wouldn't be punished, but a lecture was on the schedule. She needed to know how dangerous it was to take the kids with her. Since it was daytime, she was big enough to go see her father on her own, but the babies were much too small.