Chapter Thirty Eight

Bella

As we rode back I made the most of the intimate contact sitting in front of Jasper and leaning into him. His arms around me gave me a feeling of peace and contentment that I'd never felt before. He nuzzled my neck then whispered in my ear,

"Does that frighten you?"

I shook my head, it had in fact sent shivers of delight up and down my spine.

"Did it feel like I was losing control?"

"No"

"If I do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or nervous you tell me and I'll stop. OK?"

"Yes. But I have to tell you that I trust you."

"Thank you Bella. That means an awful lot to me right now"

"Don't believe anything Alice said about you. Just listen to me, I trust you Jasper"

He kissed my neck and I shivered

"Are you cold?"

He started to lean back away from me but I complained and he resumed his position close to me.

"They were shivers of pleasure not cold. I'll tell you if anything is wrong I promise."

Jasper

I still found it difficult to believe that Bella was here with me, so close and comfortable with it. Even trusting me to kiss her neck, over the very spot where her blood flowed so close to the surface of her skin. She smelled wonderful and my mouth did flood with venom but I had no difficulty in controlling my desire to feed. I needed her in my life much more than I needed to drink her blood. It might become more of a challenge if I were very thirsty but I would make sure I hunted regularly to prevent any chance of temptation. As we rode in sight of the house I groaned. Garrett sat on the porch with Rose and Emmett and they all grinned when they saw us.

"I knew you couldn't keep it up Bella"

Rose jerked her elbow into Emmett's ribs to shut him up as I heard Bella sigh and felt the heat as her cheeks flushed.

I helped her down and threw the reins over the hitching rail.

"So visitors already?"

"I had to give them the good news and they insisted on coming to see for themselves, I just wanted to make sure she was still alive."

I tensed at that but Bella, feeling it, squeezed my arm,

"It's OK Jasper. Garrett's been my Guardian Angel, I seem to find myself in dangerous situations sometimes."

Garrett laughed loudly at that,

"Sometimes? All the bloody time. She kept me not only busy but in some very strange places too"

I pulled her closer,

"Well your services will no longer be required. She has a new Guardian Angel, a full-time one."

I kissed her cheek and we went inside followed by the others. While Bella made herself some lunch helped by Rose the guys came with me to the stable and Garrett got a little too close to The Major who nipped his arm taking a chunk of jacket with him.

"That horse is bloody dangerous Major"

"Just like his name sake so remember that"

He looked at me with a smile,

"Feeling a little protective are we Major? She's here no,w on the hook, but you haven't landed her yet."

"I will though and you'd do well to keep your distance or I might have to show you what the two legged Major is capable of. You'll get more than just damage to your jacket"

Emmett laughed and my stallion neighed loudly, his approval of my threat I liked to think.

Rose

I watched as Bella sat down to eat her lunch, she looked different from last time I saw her.

"So you and Jasper finally made it then?"

She nodded flushing again.

"Well we are here together but that's as far as we got to"

"But is it as far as you want to go?"

"Rose! Look I need a bit of advice."

"Try me."

"Well, we talked about being safe and I told him what Edward had said"

She couldn't stop herself laughing in ridicule at Edwards worries.

"He really was an idiot Bella and Jasper knows what he's doing, he'll be very careful with you I'm sure."

"Yes but Rose, what if I can't?"

"Can't?"

"Every time a guy gets beyond the holding hands and peck on the cheek stage I freeze. I keep seeing Nathan and feel his hands on me. What if I freeze on Jasper? How do I explain it to him Rose? I'm terrified he'll back away from me, or run away altogether in disgust."

I took the half empty glass from her shaking hand and pulled her to her feet,

"Bella, Jasper knows what happened and I'm sure he'll be very gentle and take things as slowly as you need him too. He won't run I promise you. Just try to relax and enjoy his company. You've done wonders with him already, I've never seen him smile so much, he's happy at last and I'm happy for him. Now come on or they'll spend all afternoon looking at that damn horse."

Bella

I felt better after talking to Rose, I'd forgotten that Jasper knew all about Nathan's attack and it hadn't made me any less worthy of his love so I could relax a little. I was still terrified of the physical side of our relationship which I hoped would develop. I wanted him now but I had no idea how to go about it so I would be led by him. I just hoped he would take it slowly and gently as Rose told me he would. The thought of the fumbling attempts of a couple of the guys I had gone out with left me cold and I hoped to God I wasn't going to freeze on him too. I would just see how things developed and I wasn't sure whether to be happy to see our visitors or not. We spent the afternoon playing Horseshoes or at least they did while I kept score because they all insisted I was the only one who wouldn't cheat. After watching the game for a few minutes I realized they were probably right. Garrett and Emmett were especially sneaky but in the end Team Rose and Jasper won to cries of biased referee ringing out from the other team. After dinner, well I ate while the others chatted about the game, Emmett put the TV on to watch a basketball game which started a round of betting between the guys on the final score. It suddenly occurred to me that it was just like a normal family evening at home, I'd forgotten I was in a room full of vampires altogether.