And yet we harass Rizal again for his complete obliviousness of sexual innuendo and yet complete embarrassment for actual sex talks~! Because…well, think about it. No one's seduced him before.

/=+=/

"Ah…isn't Valentine's Day such a beautiful time of the year?"

"Sure…whatever."

Rizal was really getting annoyed about the whole Valentine's Day business. For some reason, all the "romantic" nations were all having the time of their lives showing off their "romantic" talents on the other nations even though they're all going to be rejected in the end, hence why bother? Love was really a strange subject…

"Hey, uh…Rizal, I have a question?"

"Shoot, ate."

"You know how these guys are calling themselves the country of romance and stuff like that, like Spain and France and such?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Have they ever just…argued over who was the most romantic?"

"Quite frankly, I don't even want to bring it up with them-"

"Ce que…is someone questioning the one thing I do best?"

"Oh crap." Rizal buried his face in his hands. Please, Charice…don't say anything that would-

"We're trying to determine who's the more romantic nation~!"

GOD DAMMIT.

"Hm…what makes you think that I, the country of romance, holding the city of romance, am not the most romantic nation on this planet?"

"Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that the city of romance just happens to be where the Eifel Tower is."

"And your point being…?"

"Just shut up, Charice…shut up…" This time, she heard him.

"We should have like a contest, right?" Antonio suddenly came out of nowhere. "Something that determines the most romantic nation!"

"Ve~~~maybe we can hit on women?"

"Our women? No." Charice stated.

"And outside women?" Elizabeta crossed her arms. "HELLLLLL no."

"So…what are we stuck with?" Antonio laughed.

"Oh, I got it!" Charice clapped her hands. "YOU GUYS ALL TRY TO SEDUCE RIZAL!"

…

What?

"W-why me?" Rizal blushed.

"Because unlike Francis here, you're bi as well! Which means that we can get both boys and girls to do this!" She clapped her hands rapidly. "Fair for everyone!"

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why-

"So what are we doing, exactly?" Antonio asked.

"Well, we do what lovers do best: whisper in his ear, of course." Francis smiled. "For a true romantic has a beautiful deep voice when talking in one's ear."

"Francis, if you get one inch closer than what I can handle, I will find ways to hurt you slowly."

"Awww…" He leaned in closer to Francis. "Is someone being a little shy today…?"

*POW!*

[And that, my friends, is one flying Frenchman. Ain't it a wonderful sight?]

"That's…one down." Charice laughed. "Who's next~?"

"I am, I am!" Antonio waved his hands.

"Why the hell are you going with this…?" Lovino grumbled.

"Because it's fun~!" He jumped to Rizal. "Besides, he knows what he wants best, doesn't he…?"

"…I feel…like I'm getting raped." Rizal sighed. "Horribly."

"Awwww…what makes a grown man like you say that?"

"Because there is a hand ON MY ASS!"

*POW!*

[This time, the Spaniard only hit the wall.]

"…can't I just leave…? Please?"

"Awww…but it's FUN!"

"How the hell is this fun?" Rizal screamed, blush marks all over his face. "You might as well hang a sign on my back saying Rape Me: I'm Available!"

"Ohhh…is that an option?"

"Get the HELL away from me, Francis!"

Nonetheless, the fact that she was actually curious was not even close to the real reason why Charice started all this. It was, in all actuality, the fact that she hadn't seen Rizal this flustered before. And the last time someone brought up the whole "sex talk", there was a blush all over his face that he was perhaps the most embarrassed person in the room. So what do you do? Numb him of all emotions, that's what! Ain't that the smartest thing to do to a younger brother?

In the even deeper truth, Elizabeta wanted to ship him and she wanted Charice to see which couple seemed cuter.

But enough about that.

"Heeeey! What's going on here?" Alfred busted into the room. Great timing.

"Oh, Al-kun!" Charice chirped, making Rizal sigh. She's obviously way too happy if she's saying nicknames now. "We're trying to find out the most romantic nation in the world, and we're doing that by trying to sound sexy in Rizal's ear!"

"DON'T TELL HIM THAT!"

"Oh, I can do this! Cause I'm the hero, and heroes can do anything!" Before he knew it, Rizal was pushed back onto his chair. "Yet as the hero…I am only here to be your servant. Say the word, and it will be my command…"

…

"I can so totally turn manly for that voice."

"CHARICE! What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, I would say it's an awesome voice, but come on, he's obviously gay for Arthur!"

"WHAT WAS THAT, you bloody-"

"And remember, you can't spell 'uke' without the UK!"

"Ohohohohohoh-"

Rizal just sat in his chair, too terrified to move on the off-chance someone gets too horny and actually wants to rape him. Knowing half of these nations, someone's on the brink of doing it. He knows it…he just doesn't know who at the moment…

"Rizal…you are not hurt by what they have done? Perhaps…I can help you with your pain?"

His head darted up in shock. No. No. NO. Please don't tell me that Feliciano's actually willing to play along with this game. Oh god, please don't tell me…

"Ve~~~! Oi, Charice! I think I got something from him!"

"No, not really…for I am more traumatized than happy…"

"Eh? W-why?"

"Well, seeing as how I see you the majority of the time as Charice's huggle buddy, this…" He gestured toward the both of them. "…is just plain weird."

"Ve~~~so what if fratello does it?"

"Hell no!"

"My feelings exactly."

"Hm…" Charice rubbed the bottom of her chin. "Who else didn't we go through?"

"Oh…perhaps I can participate. Besides, you will be one with me soon, da?"

In a perfectly normal situation, Rizal would be able to completely blow of Ivan's trademark statement with a snarky remark of his own and then proceed to initiate a normal conversation with him that would end up with the whole world wondering just…how in the world that was possible. However, seeing as how the recent chain of events have made that a little impossible right now, it ended up with him screaming like a girl and flying up to a standing position about five feet away.

"People…have got…to stop…DOING that!"

"Awww…is someone being a little shy today?"

*yo-yo to a Frenchman's face*

"Ahahahah…sometimes, you make me smile Rizal. Let's keep that smile on your face…"

"E-Elizabeta, what are you- HEY!" He jumped away. "Don't DO that!"

"Huh…" She flexed her hands. "You're bigger than I thought."

"Don't you dare ship me with any of them!" His face was now completely red. "What the hell? Valentine's Day comes around, and suddenly I'm everyone's lust object or something?"

"Oi~! Who said lust object?"

Rizal groaned to himself. Out of all the people that could've possibly entered the room, it had to be Gilbert. It had to be the most ungodly annoying creature on the face of this planet Earth. God help him on what the hell he was going to do.

"Hey, Gil-kun!" Yep, she's totally into Cute-Obsession Mode. Not going to help him now. "We're trying to find out who's the most romantic nation!"

"Ve~~~and we're doing that by seducing Rizal!"

He clung his head in shame. He'd been passed around as a godforsaken colony for a few three hundred years, maybe suddenly whispering in people's ears like this probably isn't the best idea to do that…especially when he has that old war blood running through his veins. Sooner or later, he will have to drop-kick someone-

"Oh, is that so?" Gilbert came from behind. "Perhaps your steeled up nerves will melt down when you feel the touch of the most truly awesome person in the world-"

*Drop Kick*

"My GOD! It's only Valentine's Day! Use someone else for a freakin' change!" Rizal screamed. "I'm only sixteen! What the hell does any of this have to do with anything?"

"Because it's FUN, sweet Rizal!"

"God dammit, Antonio! DON'T USE THAT PHRASE! YOU SOUND LIKE A PEDOPHILE!"

"Funny story, the bastard is…"

"Ahahahaha! Don't say things like that, Lovino!"

Rizal held his head, obviously showing way too much emotion for these nutjobs at this point. It was about that time that he heard the door open again, and he didn't bother to turn around this time. God forbid it was someone like Switzerland or China. God, he did not want to know how Swiss people seduce each other.

"Perhaps three times will be a charm?"

"OK, Francis? Now would be a good time to surrender! That's all the damn French can do, right?"

Rizal slipped, landing on the person behind him. He didn't have enough room to turn his head to realize that the guy behind him was the only man to ever have any decent sense in the last…five thousand years. Scratch that…six thousand.

"OK, what the hell is going on?"

"Oi, West~!" Gilbert chirped. "We're trying to make our marks of being the most romantic nations by seducing Rizal!"

Gee, that's blunt.

"Gilbert, you're not proving anything like that. And so are the rest of you! He's only sixteen, qualifying him as a minor!" He stated with that booming voice of his. "Hypothetically, I can quality all of you as sexually harassing a minor."

"That's so cool~! Do it do it do it do it-"

"Don't PROMOTE it, Charice!"

Meanwhile, while all this chaos is occurring, Ludwig slowly helped Rizal to a balance on his two feet. He turned to thank the German when his hands quickly grabbed his shoulders, making him say a strange "eep" noise out of his throat.

"Are you OK, Rizal?"

"…um…yeah. No harm done."

"Are you sure?"

The grip on his shoulders began to tighten, forcing Rizal to look deep into his eyes. They were getting extremely…bluer?...than usual. Nonetheless, the booming voice of the rather intimidating German was actually…not booming at all. It sounds more like a…like a…um…

"YES! WE FINALLY GOT A WINNER!"

/=+=/

I'm a real jackass, aren't I?