What is a nasty name in cat-lingo? Belarus. Don't tell my mother I typed that online.
John slouched into his chair with his crumpled copy of the morning's paper. On occasion he felt the need to relax, and do something normal when the eccentric nature of his flat mate or his work became too staggering to bear.
Jim watched John begin to loosen his muscles and ease into the shape of the chair.
"Not if I have anything to say about it!" he meowed, and with a running leap he bound over John's legs and through the newspaper.
John cried out in surprise and flailed his limbs, trying to uncover the cat tangled in his newspaper. When he was done, Jim had managed to make him throw several pages onto the floor and had torn gaping holes in the rest. He lay down on John's lap snickering quietly.
"No." John said fiercely, and with one deft motion he scooped up the lazing feline and tossed it onto the floor of the flat.
Jim landed on his paws and ran back a few feet, marveling in his handiwork as John collected his discarded newspaper shreds and tried to piece them back together.
Suddenly Jim sensed a ripple of movement from behind him; he bolted across the room just in time as a rolled up section of newspaper made a swing for his head.
"Bad cat!" Sherlock said holding his paper like a police baton.
Jim found himself in the safety of a corner under a table and decided to hazard a deep, throaty hiss.
"Shut up!"
Jim called Sherlock a nasty name.
"Same to you." He said.