Epilogue
"Are you okay?" Cassi asked as soon as Riina returned to the ship.
"I… I don't know," Riina admitted as she headed towards her quarters. "Take us out, Cassi."
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know. I still have no idea where she would have gone… Just take us out of range of the Citadel for now. I really hate this place…"
"Agreed. Also, you have received a message from Shepard."
Riina froze at that. "Does she know?"
"No. She was simply forwarding information regarding her last message."
"Her last…" Riina trailed off as she remembered. "The temp work at Grissom that she passed along for Jack?"
"No. Though Jack did send that information herself. She wants you to cover the biotics class for a week next month."
Riina laughed a little, though it lacked any humour. "Yeah, let's see how she feels about that when I've finished this mission. So, what did Shepard send?"
"Information regarding the tech firm she was talking about."
"You mean the one that she was not-so-subtly suggesting I should take a job with?" Riina paused, frowning a little. "Do you think she knew this was coming?"
"It is a reasonable assumption to make. She was anxious about you leaving the employ of the Council."
"Shit… She was, wasn't she? But why wouldn't she actually warn me?"
"Perhaps she did not want to tip off the Council."
"Or maybe she thought that she couldn't trust me." The thought was a harrowing one which Riina had almost been too afraid to speak aloud.
"Riina, don't start this," Cassi warned her. "This type of thinking is exactly the Council's intent."
Riina just nodded, a little shakily, as she took a deep breath. "You're right," she finally replied as she moved to sit on her bed, rifling through her bedside table for something.
"We have now left the range of any Council monitoring devices. We may speak freely."
Riina snorted at that. "Though, apparently, they've probably known for a while now."
"It is… a logical assumption. Though, a disturbing one. Especially given that we were unaware that they knew."
"Tell me about it. So much for my theory about them being idiots."
"So, have you decided where we're going?"
Riina frowned for a moment, as if trying to remember something, as she finally found what she was looking for, extracting the old music box. "Hey, Cassi? What was that thing Grandad always used to say about Omega?"
"That it was a wretched hive of scum and villainy?"
"No, that was Gran. Are your memory systems okay?"
"I could… use a tune-up."
Riina nodded. "If I make it out of this alive, I'll make sure to upgrade all of your systems."
"Wow, you must really not think you're going to get through this."
Riina just shrugged. "But, seriously, he'd always say it… something about firing a gun by accident…"
"Yes. His most common comment in relation to Omega was that the only positive thing about it was that if you fired a weapon by accident, chances were, you would hit someone who deserved it."
"Yeah, that was it."
"Why is it important?"
Riina frowned once more as she turned the music box over in her hands. "I'm not sure. I just… We're hunting Angel, right?"
"That's what the Old Man said."
"And Angel was a vigilante. If we want news on her whereabouts, going to where the criminals are is probably a good plan."
"Agreed."
There was a pause as Riina felt the ship change course. She took a deep breath before examining the music box once more, going so far as to open it. However, she slammed it shut as soon as the first couple of notes sounded, just before the holo-image could appear.
"You haven't removed that from the drawer since Vi gave it to you," Cassi observed.
"No, I guess I haven't. Vi always used to play this damn thing when she couldn't sleep… Which was all of the time…"
"I remember."
"And then she gets bonded and leaves and doesn't even take the stupid thing with her. 'I don't need it anymore,' she said. What a load of bull…"
Cassi just remained silent as Riina sighed, finally opening the box once more and allowing the holo-image of her parents to appear as the all-too-familiar tune played.
"Well, it did seem to work for her," Riina finally figured as she took off her hoodie before settling down to try and get some sleep.
"Spectre Murasaki, I presume?" the new quarian councillor asked as Riina entered his office. He made an effort to keep his demeanour cool and professional but a slightly heated gaze made its way through his mask of professionalism as he looked her over. She'd have been willing to bet that he'd had turian lovers before, and she couldn't deny that the interest wasn't unwanted.
"You sure you're the new councillor?" she asked, cutting across his pleasantries.
He frowned a little but seemed more confused than angry. "Yes, I'm sure. Why?"
"You're about ten years too young for the job," she told him bluntly.
To her surprise, he laughed. "You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear someone say that to my face. Everyone else just keeps on implying that I'm incompetent."
Riina couldn't help but smile at his laughter. He had a nice laugh. "I don't think it makes you incompetent. It's just surprising. Your predecessor hand picked you and I trust her judgement."
He continued to smile at her, shaking his head a little. She took a moment to note how surprisingly handsome he was. He was less… pretty than Evan. He also lacked the rugged look that she had otherwise usually found attractive. Everything about his appearance was pristine and tailored specifically to please cameras. Of course, all that did was make her wonder what it would take to make his appearance more… dishevelled.
"You know," he said, interrupting her thoughts, "it's funny how well you fit the description, Riina."
She grinned, realising that he hadn't initially known which twin he was speaking to. But… he had figured it out. That made her grin widen; she always liked it when others recognised her as her own person. "Description or warning?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Warning, I guess. You haven't really made a lot of friends on the Citadel, which I find surprising."
"Very few people appreciate honesty," she reasoned.
"Then I figure that it's a good thing that we've now got each other…"
The scene dissolved around her before rebuilding into a later one. One where she was sat across the desk from him, a beer in hand.
"Why are you here?" he asked as he discarded the datapad in front of him and leaned back in his chair.
"I can go if I'm bothering you."
"No! I mean… that's not what I meant. I enjoy your company. I just don't imagine hanging around in my office is all that fun for you. Don't you want to spend your downtime with your shipmates?"
She shrugged. "It's Vi and Evan's anniversary. And, even if it wasn't, I always feel like the third wheel around them… I'd much rather spend my time with you."
She grinned as he blushed sheepishly. She was pretty sure that he thought that he was doing a good job of hiding his attraction to her. Which made teasing him all the more fun. But… she couldn't deny that the attraction was mutual and simply teasing him was no longer satisfying her. Of course, fucking her boss was straight up breaking the rules, even by her standards.
She got up from her chair, moving over so that she was leaning back against the desk, facing him. "So, what are you actually working on?"
"It's classified."
"You're no fun."
"And, arguably, you're too fun."
"No such thing."
"Well, I have to admit, you've got me there." He smiled at her but it seemed weary.
"You seem tired," she observed.
"And you seem concerned." She simply smirked at that, raising an eyebrow to let him know that she wasn't buying his attempt to change the subject. "But… Yeah… I haven't really been sleeping," he admitted.
"Let me guess, this classified work is keeping you up at night?"
"How'd you know?"
"They rarely classify the proposal for more bunnies and rainbows."
"No, I guess they don't…"
Riina downed the rest of her drink before leaning over Pol to place the empty bottle on the other side of him, smirking as the quarian before her blushed at her proximity. "You know," she said lowly as she paused in front of him on her way back to sitting up straight, "I could help you with your sleep problem."
"Really?" he managed to ask, obviously struggling to remain composed. "How exactly would you propose to do that?"
"Like this," she replied before leaning forward to press her mouth plates to his lips, quickly slipping her tongue out to imitate a kiss more accurately. He initially stiffened in response to the move but quickly gave himself over to the kiss, moving his hand to her waist. His touch sent an excited thrill down her spine.
"Riina," he eventually moaned, pulling away a little to regard her, a little cautiously.
"Am I being too forward?" she asked, well aware that she only had two speeds. Either she didn't act or she did, committing everything to it. Most people weren't so binary.
"No. Not at all. You're just the right amount of forward. Just… if you were anyone else, I would wonder what secret motives lay behind your actions."
"I'm not anyone else," she pointed out. "I'm me. I'm doing this because I find you attractive and I figured we could help each other out. Scratch an itch. That's it. Are you okay with that?"
He responded by leaning forward to kiss her once more. He brought his hand back to her waist while the other went to her face, softly cupping her mandible. All of her muscles stiffened with panic at his gentle touches, causing her to bring her own hands up to slap his away.
Pol frowned, pulling away. "What is it?" he asked, his voice saturated with concern.
"Don't… Don't touch me like that…" she managed, a little shakily. "It makes me uncomfortable…"
"Riina… I don't understand. Like what?"
She nodded, knowing that she wasn't making much sense. "Just…" she started, before realising that words could only go so far. "More like this."
She yanked him upwards by the front of his shirt, roughly pressing their lips back together before grabbing his behind and pulling his pelvis forward into her own.
He pulled away from her, resituating his hands to where they had been before.
No! This isn't right! She remembered. He had understood what she had needed, surprising her by spinning them around and slamming her into the wall.
But this time he didn't and Riina felt her muscles freeze once more in panic, paralysing her.
"Why do you want to run?" Pol asked as he gently kissed down her neck, making her skin crawl. "What do you have against being loved?"
She had no answer for him so he moved his head back up so that he could press his forehead to her browplates.
"I love you, Riina."
The words sent a sudden jolt through her, making her want to throw up. Instead, it gave her the impetus needed to regain control of her limbs, allowing her to jump up and begin to run.
She didn't even notice that the exit out of the councillor's office didn't lead to the usual Citadel corridor. Rather, it lead to one on the Normandy. Only it was elongated so that Riina could not see the end. Still, Riina kept on running, paying no heed to her surroundings. She didn't stop running until she heard an all too familiar voice behind her.
"Still running after all these years?"
Before her brain kicked in to stop her, she spun around and launched herself into the arms of the hybrid behind her.
"You truly haven't changed, have you?"
"Funny. Everyone else is saying that I have," she figured as she finally extracted herself from Evan's arms.
"Oh, Riina, I think we both know that all you've done is stopped pretending to care."
She shook her head at that. "No… that's not true…"
"Oh, but I think we both know that it is."
She moved away, heading towards the nearest door.
"You won't find refuge there," Evan warned her, humour playing in his subharmonics.
She ignored him, heading through anyway.
She found herself in a Citadel bar and it took her a moment to recognise it. She had only ever been there once.
"Hey." Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice calling her over to the bar, resetting her memories to the night in question. "What brings you down here?"
She headed towards where Evan sat, straightening the top she had borrowed from Vi as she went. "Weren't you meeting friends here?"
"You just missed them," he informed her. "So, you still haven't told me why you're here."
"Cassi says we'll be ready to leave in the next hour."
"You could have just messaged me," he reasoned, causing her to blush beneath her plates. "You didn't have to come all the way down here."
She shrugged. "I couldn't be sure that you weren't passed out somewhere."
"Well, since you're here, would you like to join me for a drink?"
Her blush deepened as she somehow found the courage to answer. "Sure. Sounds like fun."
Riina wasn't sure how much time had passed when they were finally ready to head back to the ship. Though she was sure that it had been more than just one drink.
Yes, definitely more than just one, she thought, as she stumbled from the bar stool.
Evan quickly moved over to her, catching her in his arms.
"I… thanks…" she managed, blushing furiously beneath her plates.
Evan didn't pull away from her, however, instead moving a hand up to tuck some loose strands of hair behind her plates. "Spirits, you're beautiful," he told her as his drunken gaze locked with hers.
Riina's blush deepened once more. She knew that, objectively, she was attractive by turian standards, but no one had ever told her like that. "I… you're drunk," she eventually said.
"So are you," he reasoned. "And that doesn't make it any less true." At that point, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to her mouth plates. She would have been shocked if she wasn't so inebriated. No one had ever kissed her before. No one had ever so much as expressed a desire to. But now Evan was kissing her and she found herself more than happily reciprocating. She had been sure that her feelings for him had been anything but mutual and yet, here he was, kissing her.
They stumbled back to the ship as best they could in their drunken states, giggling and kissing intermittently.
"Where's your sister?" Evan asked, as soon as they were onboard the ship, pulling away a little. Riina missed the contact, but had to agree that the last thing she wanted was for Vi to walk in on them.
"She went out for the night when it became apparent you two weren't coming straight back," Cassi informed them before logging herself off, for which Riina was thankful.
Evan quickly lead her to his room, resuming their kissing. However, this time he moved his hands to her waist and damn did it feel good. Her plates were already beginning to shift as a chill of excitement ran up her spine. She knew where this was headed, especially as he tugged her shirt off, and she found herself both excited and nervous at the prospect.
"Evan," she started as his own shirt came off, "I… I haven't ever… done this before…"
He seemed momentarily surprised by that, raising a browplate. "Okay," he said, gently pressing his browplates to hers. "We'll take this slow."
His assurance worked to melt away any fear she had, aided more than a little by the flow of alcohol through her system.
He was gentle and sweet, making sure that she knew she was loved completely with every touch. It was all she could have hoped for and more, putting all of her self doubts to rest, if only for a few precious moments.
"I…" she started after he had finished, pressing her browplates to his once more. However, she found herself unable to finish the thought, knowing that she simply didn't have the words.
"You have no idea how long I've thought of you…" Her blush returned at his words, but still she remained silent, knowing that she would seem a jabbering fool if she opened her mouth. "Though, I must admit, I was a little surprised"
"By what?" she asked.
"That this was your first time. I mean, if it had been your sister, I would have understood, but you? As I said, I was a little surprised…"
Riina raised a browplate. Why would he think that Vi was still a virgin? She'd had boyfriends from almost the minute they had left the Normandy. She probably would have had some before if it hadn't been for the fact that no one wanted to be on the wrong side of Shepard. It was what she got for being the confident one.
Evan interrupted her thoughts before she could voice them as he turned over to go to sleep. "I mean, she is kind of… What did you call her the other day? An 'emotionless robot'?" Riina still didn't reply, only further confused. When had she ever said that about Vi? Evan just kept talking, completely oblivious to her reaction. "I… I probably shouldn't say this but… fuck it, I'm going to anyway. I love you, Violet."
Did he just...
Does he think…
Oh fuck…
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…
How drunk is he?
Riina's train of panicked thoughts continued to spiral as she sat naked next to the man who thought she was her sister.
They were only halted by a concerned looking hologram appearing before her. Cassi pressed her finger to her lips before indicating to the door. It snapped Riina out of her stupor, allowing her to get up and collect her clothing from around the room. Thankfully, Evan seemed dead to the world.
Once out of the room, Riina took a deep breath, trying to decide what to do. And then, within a second, she had made her decision. She headed to the medbay with Cassi's hologram still in tow.
"Riina…" Cassi started, sounding concerned, but then deciding that wasn't the best approach. "What an asshole. Mistaking you for Vi like that…"
"It's not his fault," Riina figured. "He was already drunk when I got there and I was wearing Vi's top. People mistake us all of the time. I should have said something…"
"Do you honestly believe that?"
Riina nodded as she looked over the medical supplies, finding exactly what she needed.
"Riina, you can't just pretend this didn't happen."
"Yes I can," Riina replied, though her subharmonics were sounding with sorrow. "You heard him, Cassi. He loves her. The way he was… They deserve a chance. A chance not tarnished by… whatever this was…"
"But erasing his memory…"
"He'll assume he drank too much. It's the only way."
"No. It isn't. But it's the only way you'll accept, isn't it?"
Riina remained silent as she moved back into Evan's room and injected him with the serum.
He would have no idea what had happened that night.
She moved from the room hurriedly, as if distance would erase what had just happened. As soon as she passed through the door, she returned to the Normandy corridor, dropping the dispenser in her hand as she went.
"I tried to warn you," the corridor version of Evan told her.
She shook her head at him, growling a little. "Just shut up. I have nothing more to say to you."
He raised a browplate at that. "Wow… I think that's as close to angry as I've ever seen you…"
"I… Don't push me… Please…"
"Did you ever think that maybe you need to get angry? But, no. That would involve you admitting that I was at fault. And no one is ever at fault but you, are they? Spirits, you don't even see how arrogant that is, do you?"
"I said shut up! Just leave me be…"
"Of course. I almost forgot that your solution to every problem is to run from it. Still… I guess I don't deserve all of the blame. You were already broken when I got here. I just made things worse."
She snapped at that, rounding on him. "What in the hell do you know about me? You have only seen what I let you see! And I in no way trusted you enough to let you see anything of substance. Something I have only been proven right on…"
"Which is exactly my point. You can't love without trust, Riina. All you get is conflict. And then you end up alone."
"I end up alone anyway."
"So you don't trust people to stay. I wonder why that is." Evan walked over to another door and stood by it, indicating for her go go through. "Your answers have always been here. You just have to look."
She gave him a disbelieving glare before deciding to head through the door. If for nothing more than her own curiosity.
As soon as she entered the room, the walls seemed to grow around her. Much as before, her memory shifted back years. Back to when she was so young that she had been sure that she'd had no memories of this point. Before she even had her colony marks.
She brought her small, winged bear to her chest, clutching it tight. She found herself on the crew deck of the Normandy, dressed in her pyjamas.
"Mummy?" she called out as she toddled along.
"Kariina?" the familiar voice came from the other side of the lift, her surprise evident.
Riina walked to the other side of the lift, finding her mother sitting on the floor opposite the memorial wall. As soon as she saw her, her mother held her arms out and brought Riina onto her lap.
"Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" she asked.
Riina shrugged. "I can't sleep."
Her mother sighed as she momentarily held her closer. "Yeah. I know what you mean…"
Riina curled closer into her mother's chest. It was something she missed when her mother left, which seemed to be happening more and more. "I had a bad dream."
"What about?" her mother asked as she stroked her hair softly.
"I… You were gone. I woke up and you were gone again. Only… no one remembered who you were when I tried to ask when you'd be back…"
"It was only a dream," her mother assured her but something in her tone kept her from convincing the child.
"Mummy… you're going to leave again, aren't you?"
Her mother hesitated before answering. "Ri… I have to."
Riina shook her head. "No, you don't! Why can't you stay?"
"You're too young to understand…"
"No, I'm not!"
"Kariina…" she started before laughing a little. "I can't convince you. You have your father's stubborn nature, you know."
"Please don't leave again…"
"I… Ri, do you remember how you got this scar?" her mother asked, tracing the damage to the plate on her forearm.
The young girl shrugged. "I fell. Last time you were home, you took Vi and I to Palaven and I tripped and fell. But then you left again. You were gone for ages…"
Her mother grimaced, looking away. "Right… You tripped…" Riina could swear that she saw a flash of blue out of the corner of her eye. Her mother took a deep breath before standing up, carrying Riina in her arms as she did so. "Come on, let's get you to bed."
Riina didn't protest as she felt her eyes begin to droop with tiredness.
Her mother carried her into her room and placed her back in her bed, before tucking her in.
"What if I have bad dreams again?" Riina asked as she settled in with her toy bear just below her chin.
Her mother just smiled before reaching into her pocket and bringing out a small music box. "I once gave this to your father. It was supposed to be a way for him to remember me if he ever lost me but… now it's a way for me to remember him." She opened the lid to reveal a holo-image of the two of them. "I'll leave it here with you. So that you know that both of us are always watching over you," she explained as the tune began to play. "Even if I have to leave again to go somewhere where, if I do accidentally hurt someone, they probably deserve it…" She began to sing softly along with the tune as it played.
"Why are there so many songs about rainbows,
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me."
The sound of her mother singing had Riina drifting off before the song had ended. The next thing she knew, another small body was trying to crawl into her bed with her.
"Wha-" she started, sleepily.
"Mummy's gone again," her sister told her, her voice warbling a bit to inform Riina that she had been crying.
"I know," Riina replied simply, shifting along so that her sister could climb in next to her. Riina could feel her sister shake with silent sobs, so she wrapped her arms around her and restarted the music box, singing just as her mother had in the hopes of comforting her sister.
"Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me."
Riina bolted upright as Cassi sounded her alarm.
"We've arrived at Omega," Cassi informed her.
Riina nodded, a little shakily. "She's here."
"Who's here?"
"M- Sarah. She's on Omega."
"How do you know that?"
"I… I remembered. It's where she went when she left."
"That doesn't mean that she's still there."
"No," Riina agreed, "but it's the only real lead we've got…"
She got dressed quickly, opting for her full combat suit and cloak.
"You're really going all out on this one, aren't you?"
Riina shrugged. "I'm not taking any chances. Plus… I'd rather do this as a nameless Spectre."
"You don't want her to know it's you?"
She shook her head. "No, I don't. I want to find the truth and finish this. Nothing else."
Cassi responded by materialising her hologram in front of the other woman. Its form always changed, depending on the AI's mood, but this time she looked just like Riina, only younger. It had been the initial hologram file in her matrix. When she really had been a straight up copy of Riina.
"I… Do you think that you can really get the answers you want without her realising who you are?"
Riina's stance softened at the undercurrent of pain in the AI's voice. It was an exact mirror of her own. She wanted to draw the girl she had once been into her arms and assure her that everything would be okay. But, of course, she was just a holographic representation of a computer.
"Hey, remember that time I tried to build you a humanoid chassis?"
"The one that blew up? Yeah, I remember. Why?"
Riina shrugged. "If we get through this, I might try again."
"Didn't we decide that it would push our luck with the authorities? Creating AI is illegal, after all."
"Yeah, well, we passed illegal three systems ago. And… you might be all I have left at this point."
"Just as you are all I've ever had. So don't die on me. Come back and get me a real body so that I can really watch your back."
Riina replied with a grin. "You can count on it. Now, come on. Let's head out. Do you think you can get into Aria's systems?"
"Just give me a little time."
"How much?"
"I'll probably be done by the time you reach Afterlife."
"Alright then," Riina said as she left the ship.
"Riina… you didn't answer my question before," Cassi said over the comm as Riina made her way through the docks.
"You're right. I didn't," Riina answered simply as she made her way towards Afterlife. She had always avoided Omega when she could. It was filthy and crowded and too few of the people could actually be classed as innocent. Her hands were on her hips, one resting on her pistol while the other rested on her sword. One good thing about her cloak was that it hid her unease. Between that, her hood, and the fact that she was blasting music through her translator systems, she managed to get through the crowds without issue.
Riina's anxiety settled as she strode through Afterlife, the crowd parting for her. She liked the reminder that this was her element. The criminal element here recognised that she was a predator and their prey response helped to remind her of that.
"I'm here to see Aria," Riina told the guard before the stairs, turning off her music systems. To her surprise, the music playing in the club wasn't the usual shitty techno, but a live band.
"No one's allowed through," the guard told her simply.
Riina fixed him with a glare. "Tell her Spectre Murasaki is here to see her. I guarantee, she'll make time for me."
"No, she won't," the guard replied. "She's in an important meeting. No one is to disturb her. You are, however, welcome to stay here until she is finished."
Riina tried not to let loose a frustrated growl. She really did hate this place. "How long will she be?"
The guard shrugged. "I'll let you know when she's done, if you'd like."
"Thank you," she replied before heading to an unoccupied booth. Most of the patrons seemed to be swarming towards the stage, allowing for a little relief at the back of the room. Riina took off her cloak, figuring that it was just too obtrusive while she was just sitting down, as she brought up her omnitool. She briefly hovered over the button to resume playing her music, but decided against it, figuring that the band playing weren't all that bad.
"Are you in yet?" she asked Cassi over the comm.
"Yeah, about that… It seems as if Aria has upgraded her systems since we were last here. Getting in is going to take a little longer than we thought."
"How much longer?"
"I don't know… My estimates are varying wildly with every moment that passes."
"Well, keep me informed. I get the feeling that Aria isn't in the mood to cooperate, leaving the security systems as our only avenue."
"I know. I'm working on it."
Their conversation was interrupted by one of the bar staff.
"Your drink," he said as he placed a bright pink cocktail down in front of her.
"I didn't order this," Riina said.
"Someone else had your drinks for the night placed on their tab. When told that you hadn't ordered anything, they said to send you one of our more popular drinks."
Riina raised a browplate. "So you brought me this bright pink thing?"
"It is popular among our female clients."
"Could you possibly tell me anything about this mysterious person?"
"Unfortunately not. They asked to remain anonymous."
Riina sighed, before nodding. "Alright then. Tell them thanks, I guess."
The staff member left, allowing Cassi to speak over the comm. "Someone's got a secret admirer."
"Which is exactly the kind of problem I can do without…"
"Way to see the glass as half empty, Riina."
"Whether the glass is half empty or half full is relative and irrelevant, besides. I'm more concerned with whether or not the liquid inside will kill me."
"Well then give it a scan and I'll tell you."
"Nah. Even if it's just alcohol… I'd rather keep my mind clear."
"Fair enough. Do you want me to trace the account of whoever bought the drink when I finally get into the system?"
"Sure. If for nothing other than my idle curiosity."
"I'll get back to it."
Riina returned to waiting, wondering just how long Aria's meeting would take. An hour passed and Riina's patience began to wear thin. She was so close and yet she still had no idea if she was actually on the right track. What was she chasing really? A half remembered childhood memory of Sarah making a throw away comment?
Nothing she had was substantial. The only thing she could hope was that she really had come to Omega. Even if she had left quickly, Aria would have probably kept track of her movements and, hopefully, her whereabouts. If nothing else, it would give Riina the solid trail she needed.
Riina sighed. She couldn't help but wonder at her lack of patience. She had once seen her grandmother wait patiently for several hours while tracking down a group of pirates. Riina had paced the shuttle impatiently almost the entire time. Her grandmother had just sat there, smirking every once in a while at Riina's impatience. When Riina had finally asked how the wait wasn't driving her insane, her smile had widened as she replied with "Forced practice."
Riina supposed that if this whole thing ended with her incarcerated, she too would have some 'forced practice'. But, then again, she supposed that it was far more likely that this whole thing just ended with her dead.
One less thing to worry about, she supposed as she checked the time once more. It was late and the band had stopped playing, now replaced by the usual shitty music.
"Enjoying your drink?"
Riina lifted her head to see a heavily armoured someone take a seat opposite her, a helmet covering their face. From the looks of things, he was a human male, but she knew that even that could be a deception. She couldn't even recognise the armour. It was a custom design, laced with intricate patterns and images that she could almost recognise, but not place. The stranger's voice didn't seem to have any artificial irregularities to it, suggesting that it was his own, but, again, Riina didn't recognise it. She had never been good with faces. She would have thought it to do with being a hybrid, that her facial recognition systems were too confused between human and turian, but her grandmother was the same. To compensate, she had become very good at recognising voices. So, the fact that she didn't recognise his, told her that, even if she might have seen him before, they had never spoken.
"It's not poisoned," he assured her.
She shrugged. "Pink's not really my colour."
"No, I suppose it isn't. So, tell me, Riina, what's a Spectre like you doing in a place like this?"
She folded her arms. She may not know him but he sure as hell was aware of who she was. Though, she wondered just how far that knowledge went. "Why wouldn't I be here?"
"The last time I saw you here, you refused to let go of Shepard's hand the entire time."
So, he didn't just know her by her reputation as a Spectre. She tried to think back to the time he was talking about, trying to identify him, but all her past memories of Omega were too clouded by anxiety. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage."
"For a very good reason. All you need to know is that I'm a friend."
"Well, forgive me if your word isn't quite enough."
He responded by leaning forward a little in his chair. "What more do you need?"
"A name would be nice. If not that, then why you're here and who you're working for."
"I'm here to help you. Who I work for… is a tricky question. Technically, Aria writes the paychecks. But I'm here at your grandmother's request. And my orders… I take my orders from someone else altogether."
Riina did her best to hide her surprise. He knew who she was. And, apparently, Shepard had sent him. "So, who do you take your orders from?"
He shook his head and she could almost sense a smile behind the mask. "We've got time to get to that. I've got a message for you."
"Really?"
"Yep. About the council."
"What about them?"
"They're a bunch of complete fucking bastards."
She snorted. "Tell me something I don't know. But… not all of them."
"No. Most, but not all. The krogan councillor isn't too bad. She respected your mother. You? You, she's not too sure about. Enough to not stop the other councillors from giving you this mission. And then, of course, there's Pol. How such a non-corrupt idealist managed to get to his position, I will never know."
Riina simply smiled. "Because, for a non-corrupt idealist, he knows the system inside and out and is intelligent enough to use that to his advantage. Within the bounds of the law."
"And there's that look."
"What look?" she demanded, growling a little.
He laughed a little. "I think you know the one I mean."
She let out a frustrated sigh. "So, that was the entirety of your message? That the council are, for the most part, bastards?"
"Well, I was leading up to the important bit. The bit about how this mission is just a stepping stone. They're going to turn you into a tool-"
"Against Shepard. Yeah, the Old Man already covered this."
"Did he mention that it's not just Shepard? She's not the only one with a target on their back, Riina. Any of her crew, past and present, also represent… complications for the council."
"So, basically, they want to use me to slaughter my family?"
"Basically. But it looks as if you already suspected this, at least. So, the real question becomes, why are you still here? Why continue looking?"
She shrugged. "Because, while I may not be the puppet the council wants, I am also not someone who gives up easily. I started down this path and I will finish it."
"Huh… That's almost exactly what she said you would say…"
"Who is 'she'? Who is it you're taking your orders from?" she asked, running out of patience.
"Who do you think Aria's meeting with? She has a use for everyone on this station. No one is here who she doesn't want to be. Apart from you. You're here to eliminate one of her favourite pieces. Even vigilantes only operate with Aria's permission."
"Wait… Angel? She's still here?"
He nodded. "She almost killed me when I first arrived, you know. Shepard told me to protect her and Aria was more than happy to pay to keep her safe. She helps to maintain the balance here, after all. It wasn't until she figured out that I wouldn't try to drag her back home that Angel finally accepted my presence here. And, while Shepard may have sent me, and Aria may write the cheques, Angel's word is still final."
"Then why are you helping me?"
"Because she asked me to. Aria won't help you, she's too invested in Angel's continued existence, but Angel herself is a different matter…"
"She… wants to see me?"
He shrugged. "All she wanted was for me to tell you that she was the one meeting with Aria. A meeting which should have finished about now. You might want to hurry if you're going to catch her."
Riina rushed out after Angel, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Only, of course, she was too late. She could be anywhere.
Before Riina could curse her bad luck, she heard a cry from around the corner.
She hurried after it but, when she got there, all she saw was a relieved looking citizen, next to an unconscious thug.
"Thank you, Angel," the citizen cried upwards, prompting Riina's gaze up to see a hooded figure crouched at the edge of the roof of the building they were next to.
"Crap…" Riina muttered as Angel disappeared, realising that she would have to propel herself up with her biotics.
She hated heights.
Once up, she saw Angel running across the rooftops and made haste after her, using her biotics to increase her speed.
To her surprise, after running through half a district, Angel stopped dead in front of her, allowing her to approach. Upon closer inspection, Riina could see that she wore her old armour, the set that resembled Shepard's N7 set, only it had been painted white, which was now covered in flecks of dried blood and the general muck of Omega, and was accompanied by a hood to cover her features.
"Don't move," Riina told her, bringing her pistol up to the back of Angel's hood.
"I always figured you would be the one to find me, Ri," the figure in front of her said.
The familiar voice cut through Riina like a thousand knives. She resisted the urge to protest the shortening of her name. No one had called her Ri since her mother had left. "That makes you the only one," she said instead, her voice taking on an icy quality. "I think everyone else's money was on Violet."
"Was it now?" Angel's voice sounded dead. There was no emotion behind it. Just tiredness.
"Do you know why I'm here?"
"Yes. Though, I'm not sure you do…"
"I'm here to do my job. To take care of my responsibilities. Something you would know nothing about."
"Really? Don't lie to me, Kariina. You have no love for the council. If you're here, you're here for you."
"Not me," Riina clarified, her subharmonics beginning to growl a little with anger. "I'm here for Vi. For every night when we were young, when she would weep for her absent mother. She got through it by assuring herself that our mother had some kind of important, heroic reason for leaving. She spent night after night imagining what it might be. But we both know the truth, don't we? There is no reason good enough for abandoning your children." She pressed the pistol harder into the fabric of the hood, until she was pushing against skull.
"Isn't there?"
Riina snorted but the sound lacked any humour. "Fine then. What's your great and good reason for leaving for this shit hole?"
The woman in front of her paused, her head bowing just a little. Riina's hand tensed around her pistol until she realised that she wasn't preparing to lash out. "Do you remember how you got that scar?" she eventually asked, her voice small and muted.
"What scar?" Riina asked sharply, wondering if this was some sort of game.
"The one on your left forearm. Do you remember how you got it?"
"I fell," Riina answered quickly. "I fell and I cracked the plate."
"And how did you fall?"
"I don't remember. I was a child."
"And children are so often good at forgetting that which hurts them."
"Is there a point to all this or are you just trying to get me nostalgic?"
"I… My biotics were never as stable as they should be. I always had trouble with them. Whenever I lost control, your father would lend me his strength through our bond. And then he was gone. I lost control as I never had before. The only thing that helped to keep my biotics muted was the knowledge that overuse could harm you or your sister. But, once you were born… I didn't have the strength to keep them in check. The humans didn't know the first thing about turian bonding, so they were no help. The turians simply put down the biotics who lose control as I had, so they were no help either. The asari helped me to reduce the number of episodes I had but… I still had a few. I thought that, if I was careful, that I could still do it. That I wasn't a danger to you or your sister. And then, when we were visiting Palaven, I had another episode. You got caught in the carnage. It was a miracle you weren't hurt worse than you were. I knew, at that point, that it wasn't safe for me to stay. I stopped the episodes by shutting down, but that required being away from everyone I loved. Even you and your sister.
"I'm glad you found me, Ri. That I could see you one last time."
Riina just stared blankly at the back of the figure in front of her. She was still so angry. Surely there could have been some solution, some way to stay. Giving up couldn't have been the only answer! But… anger was starting to make way to just the smallest nugget of empathy. Everything she had learned about her mother's life from Hilary and Philip only confirmed what she was saying now.
As much as she didn't want it to, it made sense.
Angel turned, seemingly sensing her hesitation. She pressed her browplates to the end of Riina's pistol, identical blue eyes pleading with her daughter. "Do it," she said simply, placing her hands over the one holding the pistol. "Follow the council's orders. I may not have been the mother you deserved but the least I can do is put an end to this mockery of an existence if it keeps you safe."
"Is she dead?"
Riina had to admit to being a little surprised by how bluntly the human councillor asked the question. As soon as she had docked on the Citadel, she had had informed the council of the completion of her mission. They had responded by calling her to meet them all in person, in a very-much-on-the-record meeting. They wanted the news of Sarah's death to be public, and to reach Shepard as fast as possible.
Riina nodded. "Sarah Shepard-Vakarian, aka Angel, is dead."
"Could you, perhaps, elaborate on the circumstances of her death?"
"She died twenty three years ago, when she finally succumbed to the stress of having lost her bondmate. Unfortunately, not an uncommon occurrence in turians in the years following their bonded's death."
The turian councillor frowned at that. "Yes… However, our intelligence suggests that Dr Shepard-Vakarian is, in fact, alive and resides on Omega."
Riina nodded once more. "Yes. Information which you didn't see fit to give me. However, upon further investigation, I have concluded that the woman on Omega going by 'Angel' is not, in fact, Sarah Shepard-Vakarian."
"How can you be certain?" the human councillor asked.
Riina simply smiled at that, clasping her hands behind her back. "Councillors, I think I can be confident in my ability to identify an imposter when the person they are attempting to impersonate is my mother."
Most of the council seemed more annoyed than surprised at her revelation. The krogan councillor just smiled while Pol seemed shocked and appalled, confirming that he really had nothing to do with it.
"Your mother?" the krogan councillor asked, not bothering to hide her amusement at the rest of the council's floundering.
Riina nodded. "I kept a few facts about my heritage from the official records. I didn't want my family name to interfere with my work. But, I'm sure with all of your thorough background checks, you must have already known."
The asari councillor was the first to collect herself enough to respond. "Of course, if the council had any knowledge of this, we would not have assigned you to terminate your own mother."
"Of course," Riina agreed, knowing that they had got the message. "If that's all, Councillors, I would like to take this opportunity to give you my formal resignation. I do not believe this line of work is a good fit for me."
The council took a few moments to consider before the human councillor stepped forward. "Your service to this council has been much appreciated. We wish you well, Ms Mu… Shepard-Vakarian."
"Actually, it's Dr," Riina corrected. "Can't forget my PhD in AI theory. And, I never used my mother's name. It was always Dr Tallin." She walked away at that. She had said all she wanted to.
She only got as far as the Presidium when Pol caught up to her, a little breathless from having run to catch up with her.
"Riina, I-" he started, but Riina simply silenced him by wrapping her arms around him, surprising him more than a little. Still, so long as she was the one initiating the contact, it didn't bother her.
"Follow me if you want to talk," she whispered in his ear before pulling away.
He gave her a confused look but nodded as she lead him down to the docks. He only spoke up again once they were on her ship. "Riina, where are we-"
She placed her finger on her lips. "Five minutes," she told him as Cassi started up the engines and took off. He nodded.
"We are out of range of the council's listening devices," Cassi informed them.
A look of understanding dawned on Pol's face before he turned back to Riina, looking at her apologetically. "Riina… If I had known… I would have warned you. I would have told you to stay far away from the Citadel. I had no idea that she was your mother."
She nodded, understandingly. "I know. It's why I'm kind of glad you didn't know. No use in both of us getting into trouble."
"Hardly matters now," he reasoned. "I quit. I just… I can't keep doing that job. It's too soul-destroying. I just… I want to go home…"
Riina nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. I just… don't know where home is."
"Well, that's easy. It's where you feel safe. Your refuge from all of the shit the galaxy throws at you."
She looked away sheepishly at that. "Pol, there's only one place in this galaxy where I feel that. With you."
He looked a little surprised by that, but still moved towards her. "Riina… I realised when you were gone. I realised why you ran off. I was… I was afraid of you rejecting me so I wasn't upfront with you. The one thing I've always known about you is that you're upfront and you need that from others. So, here it is. I love you, Riina. But I don't expect you to feel the same way. I don't expect anything from you in return for these feelings. I just want you to know that… being around you makes me happy and I want you to be happy. I don't want to push you or for you to be uncomfortable."
Riina responded by moving towards him a kissing him. It was… softer than usual. It had none of her usual urgency or roughness. Just a sharing of feelings. When she pulled away, he saw that she had tears trailing down her plates.
"Pol…" she managed shakily. That simple act had her whole system flooded with the adrenaline of pure terror, which was now surprised relief. The action had been at her speed, in her control, and the whole world hadn't collapsed in on itself. "I have no idea how to do this. I am terrified of… I don't know. Of getting hurt, I suppose. I don't know how to be… vulnerable. Or how to trust. But I want to try with you."
"Then let's try…"
AN: And that's all, folks!
*She says before eventually writing a series of shorts about Riina because she just can't leave things alone...*
I just wanted to thank all of you guys for reading all the way until the end. Especially to all of you who have followed and faved, you guys have seriously helped me to keep faith in my writing.
I would also like to give special thanks and cyber-cookies to bravagor, Partsu, Kyuubi, velestro1, rebfan90, CmdrHawke667, Fishnets, wolf girl811, deliah, stncold223, Curls101, Spyke1985, E-DeSolis, sol's-light, hugh305, DOOOOOOM Lord of Waffles, InaYasha, Credete, Darkflameoflove, Katyakora, Sovereign X22, Eljay101, Don't Mess With Aria, RoseyChickadee, Kad Dawn, Foxdoc84, Realdeadmeat, Jane Hood, Kasena, Omni-Foxvatar-117, Pendragon22, TrueBlackRoses, Sindeadra Nightingale (btw, you are almost entirely responsible for me finally deciding on the ending with Riina and Vi), Yngvildr the Voracious, Gideon Ravenor, OkamiPlayer, ultimate idiot, barbex, Lightbulb049, ValkyrieXo, Verdandi73, , Elisa M, and Barleyguy for all of the awesome reviews!
Going back and looking over the older reviews from before I rewrote the beginning seriously reminded me of just how much of a learning curve writing this particular story has been. I definitely struggled with Sarah as a character and I very much hope that I managed to rectify that and that this story was at least a half-way decent read.
Speaking of rectifying my work, I'd also like to thank the two people who beta'd this story and helped to make it actually readable, and also helped me to keep my confidence in my work, even when I just wanted to burn it all and call it a day. So, thankyouthankyouthankyou to Spyke1985 and 2kinds for betaing for me. If you haven't read Spyke1985's story When You're Strange, you should, because it's awesome. Equally, you should also check out 2kinds' TBFS fics on DA. They're awesome.
Just one last thing before I go, I began See You Around by saying that I wanted to make the femShep/Garrus romance from ME2 'better'. With another couple of years of maturity on my head, I'd very much like to say that it's perfect as is because it's not the fluffy, cliché stuff that I write. It's more real than that. Which is something that I needed to learn to appreciate. So, equal parts thanks and cursing to the people at Bioware, for making such great games that get me so engrossed, but also making such brilliant worlds that I couldn't help but delve into fanfiction.
If you want any more of this particular strand of the ME universe, any shorts I might write will be posted under my fic When We Were Normal. And, if by some miracle, you read this and actually found me to be a decent author and would actually be interested in reading more Mass Effect stuff by me, I'm in the middle of another fic called Let's Try This Again (which, in my opinion, is better than this one...)
So, see you around, guys!